


Life Is Hard

by Tori_Scribbles



Series: Living [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Amputee!Darcy, Avengers Family, BAMF Darcy Lewis, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky isn't here for a while, Canon Divergence, Chronic Illness, Clint gives the best hugs, Clint is like Darcy's big brother, Deaf Clint Barton, Disabled Character, Domestic Avengers, EDS | Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, F/M, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multi, Nick Fury Is Kind Of A Dick, Nightmares, Other, Pansexual Darcy Lewis, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Thor: The Dark World, Slow Build, Team as Family, but for a reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 45
Words: 106,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4871137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tori_Scribbles/pseuds/Tori_Scribbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is hard. Everybody, at some point realises this, some earlier than others, and some find this out in easier ways than others.</p><p>.</p><p>Darcy's story as she grows up, becomes an intern and moves in with Earth's Mightiest Hero's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I should probably start with the fact that Darcy's back story in this is mostly based on a true story. From Culver onwards is all Fiction. But yeah, everything before that is my friends story and she said I could write this.  
> I've not yet finished this, so encouragement is always helpful and I can't guarantee weekly updates, but I will try.  
> This isn't perfect and I'm still not sure about it but what the hell, here you go...  
> Btw, I don't own Marvel or Pietro would still be alive and Stucky would be canon, also Natasha wouldn't have changed her entire character for Bruce in Age of Ultron.
> 
>  **Chapter Edited:** 30th September 2017

If there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that life is hard. Sure, it’s happy and scary and filled with wonderful things; but at some point. Everyone finds out how hard it is.

Me? I first figured this out when I was just four years old.

For the first four years of my life, I lived with my mom, dad and older brother Jake and things were great; or so I thought.

I don’t remember much from that early on, nobody ever does, but I remember my parents starting to argue. I remember their tender touches and looks, going to cold shoulders and glares.

I remember hearing their arguments through my bedroom walls. They started out as silly things at first, my brother wanting a dog and leaving keys in the back of the front door. To hearing them yell about money and family dynamics. Which at four and five, I never understood.

What I didn’t realise was my mom was working three jobs at minimum wage to keep my brother and me in a good school. While my dad only worked one. But he got to drive big coaches and cars full of important people. So it was okay that he missed tucking me in at night, it was okay that I didn’t see him before I went to school, it was okay when I couldn’t disturb him when he was sleeping at thee in the afternoon. It was okay.

When my cousin, Clara, got sick, my parent’s relationship only got worse. My mom spent more time at my auntie’s house to help out, and my other cousin, Rose, spent more and more time with us.

I was only four years old. I didn’t understand that she was different because in my lifetime she had always been like that. I never understood that she was getting worse. I didn’t understand just how sick she was until she never came home again.

As I got older, I learnt to understand. She had Cancer. A rare type of Cancer that only children can get called Neuroblastoma; and Neuroblastoma has no cure.

She died when she was just eight years old at her own choice. It was her choice to stop having treatments because at eight years old, she understood that she was going to die with or without them, and all she wanted was for her last few weeks to be spent at home; in peace. Rather than on an operating table, taking up recourses that other people, people with a chance of getting better, could be using.

The thing I remember most about Clara is that even though she was going through all of this; she always smiled. She was always so positive. Given the chance, she could have put the world to right in a day. She was my first friend, more like a sister than a cousin and the first person I ever looked up to.

For such a young age, she taught me that strength and wisdom don’t come with age, or life and happiness. Sometimes they come from pain and fear and certainty, and things that we just can’t change; that we just have to accept.

At four years old, Cancer became my first fear.

.

Less than two years later, with more arguments than ever, it wasn’t a great surprise when my brother and I came home from school to find my dad and all of his things gone.

Mom said he left.

Dad said he was kicked out.

To this day I don’t know which the truth was. To this day it doesn’t matter.

Over the next several years, through lawyers and scary people in suits, it was decided we’d stay at his house on Wednesdays and every other weekend. We’d see him on birthdays, briefly on Christmas day and then we’d spend Boxing Day with him and his family.

It wasn’t a surprise that dad got angry when mom decided to take my brother and me out of school to home tutor us, but she did it anyway and I will be forever grateful for that. Learning from home, in my own time, at my own pace worked better than any school ever did. But still, my dad didn’t care, because it didn’t fit his picture of a happy little family.

Despite what he thought though, it worked and those few years were probably the most stable of my entire life.

Until I was seven and then Cancer gave me another reason to fear it; this time taking my Nan.

To help my mom out I agreed to go back to school. So she could focus on helping her mom without having to worry about me.

Like before, the chemo and Doctors only worked for so long before it was just too much.

I can home from my dad’s on a Thursday morning when I was nine and I knew something was wrong from the minute I woke up. Everything just felt wrong.

I think my brother knew what had happened, he’d guessed exactly what was wrong.

When we got home, we were sat down and told that: we couldn’t see her again, that she loved us and that we wouldn’t be okay.

Those several days were the longest of my life.

Then there was the funeral and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

I wasn’t allowed to sit in on the meetings like Jake and Rose; I wasn’t old enough and so I didn’t know what to expect.

Rose and I each recorded a poem that was played at the service and I cried through the whole thing.

I went back to school the next day. I wasn’t ready. I knew that before I even went in. But my mom and everyone else was going back to work, so I had to be brave.

I walked into class late, trying to convince myself that it would be okay, but my teacher asked why I was late and I cracked.

I broke down in front of all my fourth-grade class, while my confused teacher just hugged me.

After that my attendance started to drop and didn’t stop going down until my mom took me out of school in seventh grade.

.

March 24th that same year.

Two months before I left school.

That was the day I realised how cruel life could really be.

It was the day I realised that the world didn’t care if it was a twelve-year-old girl in her school uniform walking through a children’s park on the way home or if it was a supermodel walking down the street in her underwear.

Nobody asks for it.

It happens and the one person to blame is not the victim; not ever.

.

It took me several years to come to terms with everything that had happened, but I didn’t really get better and my dad realised he could use that to his advantage.

I went back to school.

High School.

Sometimes I still question why I did it. I still try to convince myself that I did it for myself, but deep down I know I didn’t. I did it for him. Because I wanted to be more than his “worthless piece of shit” daughter, who was “worthless and taking up to much space.”

High School, as expected, was terrible.

With crippling anxiety and depression with a side of PTSD. Not to mention a closeted pansexual, who saw no prospect of safely coming out, because a gay daughter would do nothing to help my dad’s perfect Catholic family image.

The second year was better. I left with a reasonable attendance and straight A’s.

Then at sixteen, I was done with school, and as It turned out; my dad too.

.

After that, I struggled again. This time from an old dance injury. When put on several weeks of rest, my muscles deteriorated quickly and my knee started to dislocate when I walked and my ankle wasn’t much better.

After months of scans, operations and most of my time on crutches or in a wheelchair; my mom finally agreed to sign the forms. A week before my seventeenth birthday, I woke up missing my leg from just above the knee.

As expected, things were difficult, with hours upon hours of physical therapy, I got a pretty basic prosthesis. Which of course, came with the next struggle; learning to walk again.

Though I got to walk again, there was a lot I had to give up. My plans to follow my brother in the army. Dance lessons that I’d been taking since I was three years old. All gone. I had to reconsider my entire life plan.

After months of near solid studying, I finally got what I hoped for.

An early acceptance letter to Culver University, with a Major in Political Science.

And that; is when things got interesting.

At twenty-two, with six credits short of graduation, I applied for an internship and the rest…. The rest goes down in history. Literally.

.

My internship was in New Mexico, with a crazy, stubborn Astrophysicist by the name of Doctor Jane Foster.

Despite her laser-like focus on her science, and her lack of ability to take care of herself; she quickly became my closest friend. She stood by me through everything, even my mom’s funeral.

It wasn’t until a few months after that did things get really interesting when she hit a Norse God with her car. The very same Norse God whom I proudly tasered several minutes later.

And well… I’m pretty sure you know that story.

It wasn’t really until after Thor left did we get closely acquainted with S.H.I.E.L.D.

The Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.

And with S.H.I.E.L.D. came Coulson. Agent Coulson was in charge of the New Mexico project and I’m pretty sure he had me followed but would confirm nothing.

After Agent Coulson me my iPod back, I realised he was actually a pretty awesome guy. He kept his men in line and was even good company for drinks, along with another guy who wouldn’t tell me his name; just ended up going by Robin Hood.

S.H.I.E.L.D. stuck around for nearly three weeks until one day they left just as quickly as they came.

We didn’t hear from any of them for nearly a year. One day Agent Coulson called up out of the blue, saying there was a project in Norway that needed Jane’s urgent attention.

The all-expenses-paid trip to Europe, wasn’t at all what we thought it was. We got to our hotel room, turning on the TV just as the New York Incident started to happen.

It started with a strange blue light above Stark Tower, then reports of things flying in the sky and those reports, of course, turned out to be aliens.

An alien arm descended on Manhattan lead by Thor’s brother, Loki.

We watched grainy footage of Captain America, The Hulk, Thor and Iron Man fight to reclaim the city.

Jane cried when Thor got hit with a laser beam and the world watched with bated breath as Iron Man carried a nuclear missile through the hole in the sky. As it started to close the aliens all seemed to die and Stark barely made it back through.

From that day on, all anyone could talk about was The Avengers saving the world, the fact that lost deities were real and aliens were out there.

Two days later Jane and I were on a plane back to America, we spent the journey watching the news. The Avengers were clearing up the streets of Manhattan, Stark Tower was going to be renamed The Avengers Tower, home to The Avengers Initiative and the heroes themselves.

We’d just got back to the lab in New Mexico when my phone rang, a blocked number message on the screen.

“Hello?” I answered cautiously.

 _“Is this Darcy Lewis?”_ an unfamiliar woman asked.

“Yes…”

 _“My name is Maria Hill,”_ she said, her voice tense. _“I work for S.H.I.E.L.D.”_

“Is this about Thor?” I asked. “Or the reason behind our sudden trip to Norway, because I would like to speak to Coulson about the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. is still shit at communicating. He promised he would keep us informed, not ship us off to fucking Norway!”

On the other end of the line, Maria sighed. _“Agent Coulson was killed in action. Right before the Battle of New York,” she said, her voice soft and tired._

“Oh…” As the soft word fell past my lips, Jane looked up from the coffee pot, a look of worry spreading across her face.

 _“I don’t quite know why,”_ Maria said, _“but you were on Coulson’s list of people to notify. I didn’t think anybody would have called you yet.”_

“They hadn’t.” I cleared my throat. “Thank you.”

Before Hill could say anything I cut the call, leaning back against the counter with a heavy sigh, looking over at Jane.

“Who?” she asked simply.

“Coulson,” I said, brushing a tear away. “Right before New York.”

Jane’s eyes went glassy and she looked away quickly. She took a deep breath before moving around the counter, wrapping her arms around me tightly.

I pressed my face against the crook of her neck for a moment and sighed.

“The jobs worth the risk,” I breathed, repeating the same words Coulson said to me.

Later that night Jane and I ended up in the bar, both raising a bottle of beer in a silent toast; to a thug in a suit who turned out to be an alright guy; a friend.

The next day the sun rose, the birds sung and life went on.

.

After that week, everything seemed to change. We found ourselves leaving the TV on while we worked, and I found myself getting more and more distracted as I watched The Avengers, except Thor, visiting hospitals and homeless shelters, clearing rubble and shaking hands with New York’s emergency responders.

It was reassuring. Knowing that there were people there. People who were looking out for the world. People who were putting themselves in the line of fire daily, just so we could sleep soundly at night.


	2. Job Offers and Billionaires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think you just went to work for a billion dollar company. I also think we’re moving to Manhattan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay firstly, everyone is seriously amazing!! I was convinced the Prologue was terrible and nobody would read this but I've had so many kudos' and comments, I'm amazed and thank you so much!!!!  
> Secondly, this chapter is shorter than the last and is kind of just a filler chapter before the story actually gets started. The next chapter will be longer, I promise.  
>  **Edited:** 30th September 2017

It had been almost a month since The Battle of New York. With more confirmation than ever that all of her hypothesis were true, Jane was working harder than ever, but without the recognition that she so gravely needed; she was running out of money.

Only half listening as Jane rambled on about something spacey that was way above my pay grade; we walked down the sidewalk arm in arm, cups of Izzy’s best coffees in hand.

As we rounded the corner, the sight of our building caught my eye and I stopped dead.

“Jane,” I said sharply, tugging her to a stop.

“—If I changed the frequency, maybe I’d be able to get the signal to—”

_“Jane!”_

Jane finally stopped, looking across at me in concern.

“What?” she asked. I just gestured towards the lab. She followed my line of sight and faltered, her grip on my arm tightening slightly.

The doors, that I’d definitely shut and locked before we went out, now sat wide open.

Sliding my hand in my purse, I wrapped my fingers around my Taser. Raising it up, I cautiously stepped inside.

“Hello?” I called out. Looking around I stopped short, gasping softly in surprise. _“Holy shit!”_

Sitting on the couch, _our couch,_ was a red and gold Iron Man suit.

“Hi.”

At the sound of an unfamiliar voice, both Jane and I spun around, gaping at the sight of Tony Stark casually standing in front of the whiteboard, several pieces of Jane’s research in his hand.

“You’re—” Jane broke off, looking between the man and the suit with a wide-eyed expression.

“I am.” He nodded.

“But you’re here?” she said.

Stark looked at the ground as if to check, looking back up and nodded. “Yep.”

“Oh my Gods...” Jane breathed, taking a large gulp of her coffee.

“You’re Doctor Jane Foster, right?” he asked, stepped around the table to shake Jane’s hand. He looked over at me, his eyes flickering to the Taser in my hand warily and I quickly shoved it back in my bag. “And you must be Darcy Lewis, her intern? Her intern whose internship actually expired nearly a year ago.”

I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “Erm… How do you know this exactly?” I asked, watching as he moved back so he could continue to inspect Jane’s research.

Stark shrugged. “Thor. We talked, there was shwarma. It was a long day,” he said with a vague wave of his hand. “This—” he gestured to the whiteboard, “—this is amazing.” Jane’s eyes widened even more, ducking her head to hide her blush. “I’ve been following your work for a while now. It’s very impressive, and I am very hard to impress.”

Jane looked up at him and bit her lip slightly. “Thank you,” she said, sounding pretty unsure of herself.

“I’m here to offer you a job,” he said, cutting straight to the chase. Pulling an envelope out of his jacket pocket. “In New York. With full accommodation at the Avengers Tower, full access to all the R&D labs and endless funding, including travel allowances for both you and your… assistant.”

“And this has nothing to do with my relationship to Thor?” Jane asked, taking the envelope sceptically, pulling the pages out as she scanned the contract.

“Not at all. Like I said, I’ve been following your work for years. Plus, Banner knew Selvig and Selvig recommended you. Selvig wasn’t the first person to mention your name to me,” he said.

“Erik?” I asked, my eyes snapping back up to him. “We haven’t heard from him in nearly a year.”

“He was in New York,” Stark said then hesitated. “Which you didn’t know because it’s classified. Ah, Hill is going to kill me.”

“Maria Hill?” I raised an eyebrow.

“How do you know—”

“She called me after Manhattan,” I said undescriptive.

“Who would I be working for?” Jane asked, turning the conversation back to the topic at hand. “The Avengers or Stark Industries?”

While she was distracted I plucked the contract out of her hands, skipping through to the good bit.

“Both,” Tony said.

_Excepting the offer would include:_

_-Full housing in The Avengers Tower residential floors, all expenses paid, for both Doctor Foster and Miss Lewis._

_-A fully funded lab with an extra allowance for any extra equipment._

_-Full access to all residential floors at The Avengers Tower – within reason of other people’s privacy._

_-A security clearance._

_-Unlimited travel expenses_

_-All of Doctor Foster’s research first and foremost belongs to herself. Anything that Doctor Foster doesn’t want to be branded or published, will remain her own._

I reread the page several times before looking back up at Stark with wide eyes.

“Are you saying if Jane accepted this then we’d be living with The Avengers?” I asked, letting Jane snatch the pages back.

“I believe you’ll share a floor above Agent Romanoff’s and below Agent Barton’s. Though they spend most of the time on Barton’s, I’m pretty sure she’s never spent a night in her own apartment. Then Cap’s floor is below hers,” Stark explained.

Jane nodded, sitting down at the table, we read through the contract several times, asking a range of questions before we exchanged a look and nodded.

“Okay,” she said, reaching for a pen, scribbling her signature across the dotted line, before holding it out to me.

“Alright then,” I said, pushing the disbelief away before signing on the other allocated line, printing my name underneath it.

I slid the pages back into the envelope, holding it out to Stark. He grinned, opening his mouth to say something but was cut off.

 _“Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting your location. It seems someone is trying to make a deal with alien weaponry in New Jersey,”_ a robotic, English accented voice said, echoing through the room coming from seemingly nowhere.

Both Jane and I jumped, my hand automatically reaching towards my Taser.

“Don’t worry,” Stark said, then gestured to the suit. “That’s just Jarvis, my AI, he runs the tower and suits. The only person to run more of Stark Industries is Pepper. Jarvis, this is Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis. Foster, Lewis, meet Jarvis.”

 _“It’s a pleasure to meet you Doctor Foster, Miss Lewis,”_ the automated—Jarvis said.

“Likewise,” I said, trying not to think about how ridiculous this all seemed.

 _“Sir, Agent Barton is preparing the Quinjet to fly to New Jersey. Wheels up in five minutes,”_ Jarvis said.

“Alright, alright, tell Capsicle to chill out a little,” Stark said. Flicking his fingers, the suit stood up, walking across the room to stand in front of him, the front opening up. “I’ll send some removal men to help with your equipment in a couple of weeks, and they’ll have information on your travel arrangements to New York.” He stepped into the suit, letting it close around him, the eyes glowing white. He nodded to both of us in turn before the flying forwards. Swerving around the furniture he flew through the doors and just as abruptly as he came; he was gone.

Neither Jane nor I moved for several full minutes before we finally looked at each other and Jane shook her head.

“What just happened?” she asked.

“I think you just went to work for a multi-billion dollar company,” I said. “I also think we’re moving to Manhattan.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah… huh.”

.

Just as Stark said, two weeks, to the hour, later, somebody knocked on the door at the exact moment Jane’s phone rang, both simultaneously interrupting my morning coffee.

Jane answered her phone and I pushed myself up from the table, ignoring the cramp in my lower back as I went to open the door. Pulling it open I came face to face with five guys dressed in Stark Industries jackets.

“Doctor Foster, Miss Potts said you’d be expecting us,” the guy closet to the door said.

I scoffed. “I’m not Doctor Foster,” I said before turning back to look over my shoulder. “Jane!” I yelled.

She glanced up from the table, hanging up her phone call, coming to stand behind me.

“It’s okay,” she said. “That was Stark, they can come in.” She nudged me to the side so they could come in and she could start directing them. “All that stuff is for the lab. _Be careful!_ That stuff is research, which is perfectly organised. Then there are two trailers outside, the one closest is Darcy’s and the other is mine. Everything is boxed and just needs to be moved.”

“Break my stuff and I will tase you,” I said with a bright smile.

“You realise we work for Tony Stark, right?” one of the other guys asked. “We’ve had worse threats than that, Darlin’.”

I just rolled my eyes. “Please,” I said, “I tased Thor, I think I can handle a few moving guys.”

.

After the five guys refused our help for the tenth time, we decided to head over to Izzy’s, for one last cup of New Mexico coffee.

We sat at the counter, sipping coffee as we chatted happily with Izzy’s granddaughter until Izzy stepped out from the kitchen.

“Morning, Izzy,” Jane and I chorused

“Morning, Ladies,” she said, coming to lean against the counter in front of us. “So, today’s the day y’all are off to the big city?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I said, finishing the last of my drink. “I am going to miss your coffee.”

Izzy laughed. “I’m sure there’s better coffee up there,” she said.

“I’m not so sure about that,” I said doubtfully. “I went to college in New York, most places it sucked.”

Izzy smiled, coming around the counter to hug us both tightly.

“Well, you girls have fun,” she said, pulling away, cupping both mine and Jane’s cheeks fondly. “And be safe, there are all sorts falling out of the sky up there.”

I couldn’t help but laugh slightly. “There was all sorts falling out of the sky here not too long ago,” I said. “But we will.”

Izzy smiled, she hugged Jane again, then turned to me, pulling me into her arms.

“Thanks, Izzy,” I whispered. “For everything.”

She squeezed me a little tighter for a moment before pulling away.

“Now go!” she said, shooing us towards the door.

“Bye, Izzy,” we both called out, hesitating in the door to wave back at her.

Izzy shook her head and laughed. “Bye, girls!”

We walked back to the lab arm in arm and as we reached the doors, the door on the truck was just closing itself. Stepping inside, I sighed. The room was weird empty. The math covered boards, the loud machines held together with duct tape were all gone.

I sighed again.

Home never lasted.

“We’re all set,” moving guy one said.

“Awesome,” I said, pivoting round to face him as Jane walked down the stairs from the roof.

“Well then,” she said. “Let’s go.”

Jane drove the jeep, following the SI truck to the airfield where a sleek white jet was waiting.

One of the guys told us we could wait inside while they loaded things up, so we headed up the steps. Stepping into the plane I gave a low whistle as I took in the sleek, white leather couches, the fully stocked bar, three televisions and two pretty air hostesses.

“Janey, we have gone up in the world,” I said.

Practically skipping forwards, I flopped back onto one of the couches, moaning softly as I sunk into the cushions.

For this; all those nights on a park bench were worth it.


	3. Moving and Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _So, was pulling weapons out of boots considered a norm in this tower?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this has taken so long but I have no WiFi at home at the minute and I spent the weekend in away from home looking at a college and I'm now being homeschooled again so things are a little bit hectic at the minute.  
> Anyway here is the chapter, I hope you enjoy it!  
>  **Edited:** 5th October 2017

The flight to New York seemed to pass fairly quickly. Jane spent the entire journey catching up on sleep while I lay across the couch opposite, flicking through various TV channels, most of which seemed to be broadcasting the latest headlines.

_Captain America has been seen with the Black Widow; twice. But isn’t the Black Widow in a relationship with Hawkeye?_

_Iron Man’s girlfriend Pepper Potts was seen out with another mysterious man._

I scoffed, flicking the TV off. “CEO of the world’s top tech company, but no, Iron Man’s girlfriend works so much better,” I grumbled to myself, dropping my head down against the arm of the couch as I reached for my phone.

I spent the next half an hour aimlessly scrolling through twitter before the intercom crackled to life.

 _“This is the pilot speaking. We’re coming into land in five minutes. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts,”_ a female voice rang through the cabin.

Dropping my phone onto the table, I pushed myself upright with a groan, sighing as my back cracked.

“Jane,” I said, stepping forwards to shake her gently. “Jane, wake up, you need to buckle in. We’re here.”

Jane stirred with a muffled curse. Blinking up at me, she huffed, letting me pull her upright so the automatic chairs could strap her in as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

I dropped back into my own seat, letting it buckle me in as I rested my head against the window, watching the plane descend and finally touch down on the runway.

Once we got the all clear and the doors opened, we stepped out of the jet and down the stairs and I took a moment to look around the airfield. It was completely empty except another Stark Industries Truck, a half a dozen people unloading the plane and a man in a suit standing next to a sleek black car.

As we got closer he stepped forwards, shaking Jane and my hands in turn.

“I’m Happy. Happy Hogan. I’m Mr Stark and Miss Potts’ driver. I’m here to take you to the tower,” he said.

“I’m Jane, this is Darcy,” Jane said, gesturing to me.

“It’s a pleasure,” he said with an incline of his head, before stepping back to open the back door.

With a smile of thanks, I slid past him, moving across the back seat so Jane could sit next to me. Happy dropped into the driver’s seat, looking back at us in the rear-view mirror.

“Don’t worry about your things,” he said as he started the car. “They’ll probably be in your apartments before you are.”

As he pulled out of the airfield I let my head come to rest against the window, watching the city streets pass. The supposedly short journey taking a considerably longer amount of time because of the crawling traffic. Eventually Happy pulled up at the curb outside The Avengers Tower, looking back at us with a sigh.

“You’ll have to get out on the street I’m afraid,” he said. “There was need of some unplanned repairs to the garage. Just go inside, to the elevators on the left of the lobby. Jarvis will take you up where you need to go.”

“Thanks,” I said. Happy nodded and Jane opened the car door. She slid out of the car, waiting for me to climb out next to her before closing the door and we started to make our way through the paparazzi and cosplayers and into the lobby.

Following Happy’s instructions, we made our way to the elevators on the left hand side, right to the back, where two elevators stood. The elevator doors on the right slid open with a soft ping, and as we stepped inside I leant against the glass window, looking out across the city.

 _“Welcome to The Avengers Tower, Doctor Foster, Miss Lewis,”_ Jarvis said as the doors slid shut and the elevator started to rise.

Taking a deep breath I shuffled uncomfortably, pressing myself as close to the window as I could possibly get. Silently, Jane reached out and took my hand.

 _“Miss Lewis, are you okay?”_ Jarvis asked.

“Just peaky,” I said tensely. “Me and small spaces don’t tend to go well.”

 _“Understood,”_ he said as if noting it down for later.

The elevator seemed to rise faster before coming to a stop, the doors opened with another ping and a red light on the top, both inside and outside flashed once brightly.

Stepping out of the elevator I gasped as I took in the room. Practically the entire area of the tower was opened up into one bright room, floor to ceiling windows lined the space instead of walls. The room had everything from a fully stocked bar, to a grand piano and even a sunken conversation pit.

The elevator pinged, the light flashed and at the steady click of heels, we spun around to see _the_ Pepper Potts stepping out of the elevator with a warm smile.

“You must be Doctor Foster and Miss Lewis?” she said. “I’m Pepper. Welcome to The Avengers Tower.”

“Just Jane and Darcy,” Jane corrected and Pepper smiled.

“Jarvis, can you please tell Tony that if he wants to give Jane and Darcy the grand tour that needs to get out of his lab,” Pepper said, her eyes flicking up to the ceiling momentarily.

 _“Sir is on his way down,”_ Jarvis said, an almost hint of exasperation in his voice.

“This is the communal floor. You’ll have your own kitchen and dining rooms in your own apartments, but normally we eat here just because it’s easier. You’re welcome to help yourself to anything on this floor. Though any foods you want to keep to yourself, I would keep in your own apartment because otherwise, Clint _will_ no doubt steal it,” Pepper explained. “Personal space is a strange concept around here. Well, Jarvis runs the entire tower, he monitors every room, only vital signs in bathrooms; don’t worry. He won’t report anything unless anybody is in immediate danger or distress and if you want to not be monitored, just ask him.”

The elevator pinged and flashed for the third time, and Stark sauntered out, dressed in an oil-smeared t-shirt and pair of jeans.

“What’s with the light?” Jane asked curiously in lieu of a greeting.

Stark shrugged. “A tower full of soldiers and veterans and Agents, surprising them isn’t the best idea. Bruce sometimes wears earphones, and nobody wants to see the aftermath of him being surprised.”

“I’m pretty sure Harlem already saw that,” I said then faltered, as I realised what I just said. “Fuck, sorry. I didn’t—”

Stark just laughed, waving it away with a shake of his head. “I’ve said worse,” he said, then clapped his hands together. “So, tour time.”

“I’ll leave you three to it,” Pepper said. Pecking Stark on the cheek, she smiled to the both of us before stepping back in the elevator.

“So, in here there’s couches, kitchen, bar, dining table, conversation pit, TV piano, restrooms, main stairs, stairs that go downstairs.” He gestured to each item in turn, then pointed to the staircase in the middle of the room. “Down there is another TV, pool table, I think there’s a karaoke machine somewhere too. The fun stuff is this way.”

He made to move towards the elevator.

 _“Sir, might I suggest taking the stairs,”_ Jarvis said and Stark froze, tilting his head to the side in confusion. I tensed slightly, my eyes widening. _“My scanners are indicating that it might be more comfortable for everyone.”_

Stark’s eyes flickered towards Jane and I, but didn’t comment, instead, he gave a slight nod, heading towards the stairs on the opposite side of the room to the elevators. With a small sigh of relief, I followed after him.

We walked up several floors, stepping through a door into a corridor with glass walls separating different labs. Next to me, Jane gave a soft gasp and practically bounced at the sight.

Stark shot her a knowing smirk. “This floor has my main lab, Bruce’s, yours and an empty one that was mine but there was sort of… an incident and it hasn’t been fully rebuilt yet,” he said before leading us through into the first lab, where I could see that the glass panels between each lab had been opened and a dark, curly-haired man was facing away from us.

Stark cleared his throat and the man turned around to reveal another familiar face.

“Ladies, this is Doctor Bruce Banner. Bruce, meet Doctor Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis,” Stark said, gesturing between the three of us.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Doctor Banner said, shaking both of our hands.

“Likewise,” Jane said.

“Now, important stuff. _That—”_ Stark gestured to the next lab. “—that is all of yours. All of your equipment has already been…”

As the science rambling started, I pushed myself up to sit on top of an empty table, pulling out my phone to see if anyone outside caught any good shots of us, but they didn’t.

I sat there for nearly an hour before Jarvis finally interrupted The Science Squad.

_“Sir, Captain Rogers and Agent’s Barton and Romanoff have just landed,” he said._

I looked up from my phone, just as the three scientists looked up from their conversation as if they hadn’t realised any time had passed.

“Huh,” Tony said, glancing the clock on a monitor before turning to Bruce. “You will be in the common area at five, big guy.” He then turned to us. “Ladies, your rooms are this way.”

I hopped off the table and we followed him back down the stairs.

“There’s a movie night tonight, will pizza and beer and stuff in the conversation pit tonight at five. You are both invited. You can meet Capiscle and the Spy Twins, just give Jarvis your pizza order,” he explained, pushing through a door out of the stairwell into a long corridor, a single door on either side.

“Jane, at Thor’s request, you are to have his apartment while he’s on Asgard and when he’s here…” Stark trailed off, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, and then gestured to the door on the right. “That one’s yours. Darcy—” he gestured to the door opposite. “—that’s all yours. Feel free to paint or change anything. Jarvis can place orders for you. All the private apartments are locked with finger scanners, talk to Jarvis and he can set up all of your preferences.”

Biting my lip curiously I stepped up to my door, pressing my thumb against the scanner, I waited for it to scan and flash green before pushing open my apartment door.

“Holy shit…” I breathed, letting my eyes drift around the living room. It was all open plan. The entire apartment took up half of this floor, but the open plan lounge, kitchen and dining room were bigger than any place I’d ever lived in alone.

“This is all mine?” I asked, looking back at Tony with wide eyes.

He nodded with a smirk. “Have fun settling in,” he said before sauntering into the elevator.

Once the doors were closed and he was gone, Jane turned back to me. “Don’t go back upstairs without me,” she said, pressing her thumb to the lock of her own door.

“Likewise,” I said then faltered, the chaotic day seeming to catch up with me like a sudden weight crushing down on me.

As if sensing my hesitancy Jane stopped, looking back at me. Her grin sliding off of her face, stepping back across the corridor to hug me tightly.

“I know,” she whispered. “This is totally insane, but we’re here and we’re together.”

I nodded, burying my face in her shoulder as I took a steadying breath. “We’re here,” I said. “We’re actually here and living with Tony freaking Stark and Pepper Potts… I will never complain about your star searching again.”

Jane laughed slightly as we pulled apart. “Yeah you will,” she said with a soft smile, squeezing my hand. “But you love it really.”

I smiled fondly. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Now,” she said, her voice firm, leaving no room for argument. “Go take a shower or a bath, and just chill for a bit. Take some time for yourself, settle in, take a nap and if you need me, I’m right across the hall.”

I squeezed Jane’s hand tightly, ignoring the way my eyes watered I nodded. “I love you.”

Jane grinned. “I love you too,” she said, then let go of my hand, nudging me backwards. “Now go.”

I couldn’t help but laugh slightly. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Jane didn’t move until I stepped back into my apartment and I closed the door. I moved straight over to the stack of boxes, scanning past the boxes of books and medical stuff. Ignoring all of the unimportant stuff, I decided to explore my apartment. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a large living area and even a balcony, that looked across towards the Empire State Building.

Moving back into the bedroom, my new bedroom, I pulled Jake’s old army knife from my pocket, slicing open the box of toiletries. I carried it through to the ridiculously large bathroom, setting everything out across the counters. I unpacked a set of clean clothes and headed back to the bathroom to take a shower. The shower, like everything else in The Avengers Tower, was extravagant. With several jets and sprays, weird coloured lights, speakers and thankfully a bench. I took my time in the shower, alternating between balancing on one leg and sitting on the edge of the bench before I finally dragged myself out.

I dried myself off, refitting my leg and dressing in a pair of black jeans and a blue plaid shirt. I took some time to dry my hair and redo my makeup, trying to look decent enough to make a good impression on the rest of the team, or at least trying to look less tired.

I was just sliding the last of my ring splints in place when somebody knocked on the door. I swiped my taser and knife off of my nightstand. Shoving the knife in my boot and my taser in my hoodie pocket as I walked through the apartment, pulling open the front door to see Jane leaning against the door frame, wearing a fresh set of clothes and the ends of her hair damp.

“Ready?” I asked, double checking my pockets. Sure that I had everything, I stepped out into the corridor.

“Let’s go,” she said with a nod, linking her arm through mine as we headed into the stairwell.

“You don’t have to take the stairs, ya know?” I said as we pushed up the third flight of stairs, ignoring the aching in my leg.

“I don’t mind.” Jane shrugged. My lips twitched slightly, she said the same thing every time I told her. She shot me a soft smile and pushed open the door to the Common Area. “How is Jake?” she asked, changing the subject suddenly. “Don’t think I don’t see that knife in your boot.”

I rolled my eyes. “He deploys the week after next, I said. “It’s the first time I won’t be there… It’s the first time since mom…” I trailed off and shook my head.

The arm that was linked with mine slid around my waist, squeezing me in a half hug tightly.

“It’s going to be okay,” she murmured softly.

I hummed slightly. “I hope so.”

We walked further into the room, Pepper was sitting in the conversation pit, a StarkPad balanced on her knees and a glass of wine in hand. As we got closer, she looked up, gesturing for us to join her.

“How are your apartments?” she asked as we stepped down the steps and dropped onto one of the couches.

“They’re amazing,” Jane said and I nodded in agreement.

“I’m sure Tony said, but if you want to change anything, just say so,” she said.

We both nodded, and before either of us could thank her, the elevator flashed and Tony and an uncomfortable looking Bruce stepped out. They both came to sit on a couch just as the door to the stairwell opened. I twisted my head around and faltered. Walking across the common area, in all 6ft something, perfectly sculpted abs’ glory was _Captain freaking America._

Jane nudged my leg, forcing me to snap out of my daze with a knowing look.

“Oh, shut up,” I mumbled, flicking my hair in front of my face to hide my blush.

“Steve, this is Doctor Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis. They’ve just moved into Thor’s floor,” Pepper said and I looked back up at him with a smile. “Jane, Darcy, meet Captain Steve Rogers.”

“It… it is a pleasure to meet you, Captain,” I said, trying not to think about how much I used to idolize him when I was an eleven-year-old, chronically ill kid, and how I used to look at him when I was a nineteen-year-old hormonal kid.

“Likewise, Miss Lewis, and it’s just Steve,” he said, his lips quirking into a gentle smile.

“Just Darcy,” I corrected lightly. Steve nodded, taking a seat on the couch opposite.

“Jarvis, where are our residential ninja’s?” Tony asked with an overdone, fore long sigh.

 _“In the elevator, Sir,”_ Jarvis said, and as if on cue the red light flashed.

I glanced up above Steve’s head to see the tall redhead, whose picture had been dragged through the tabloids more times than I could count in the last week. The sight of the man who stepped out behind her made me curse.

“Wha—” Jane looked up to see what was wrong and laughed at the sight of him.

“I’m going to kill him,” I muttered and Jane just laughed harder.

They stepped down to the conversation pit and he grinned down at me as Romanoff took a seat next to Jane with a raised eyebrow and a slight smirk.

I pushed myself up to my feet and punched his arm.

“Aw, c’mon Darce! What was that for?” he asked, his grin falling and a faux look of hurt on his face.

“Take your pick,” I snapped. “Let’s start with the fact that you disappeared without even a goodbye. While you were there, you wouldn’t even tell me your name, I spent several weeks calling you ‘Robin Hood’, even Phil—” I broke off before his name even finished passing my lips and pain flashed across Clint’s face. I looked away guiltily. “Gods, I’m sorry.”

I tensed slightly at the hand on my arm, but he paid me little attention, just pulled me into his arms and held me until I relaxed.

“Me too,” he murmured against my hair.

After a moment, he pulled away, tucking my hair behind my ear with a warm smile.

“How’ve you been?” he asked.

I shrugged slightly. “I’m fine,” I said. Huffing as Clint raised a sceptical eyebrow and Jane poked me with her foot. As I turned to glare at her, Clint’s frown deepened. “It’s—you know how it is.” I sighed heavily and Clint drew me back into his arms, resting his chin on top of my head.

Tony cleared his throat loudly. I went to step back but Clint kept an arm around my waist, letting me lean into his side.

“So, you two already know each other?” Tony said slowly, gesturing between the two of us.

“I was assigned to New Mexico when Thor landed,” Clint said in way of explanation.

“He stopped me tasering a guy in a bar,” I added, remembering it with a fond smile.

“And I should’ve let you taser him,” he muttered under his breath, poking my side as I snorted.

“So, you’re Darcy,” the redhead, Natasha, said. She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me, her face a careful steel mask that for some reason made me want to run and hide under a rock.

“Erm, yeah?” I said, wincing at the uptick in my voice.

This time Clint snorted. “Darce, Natasha. Nat, Darcy,” he said, waving a hand between us in introduction.

Natasha looked me up and down for a solid, tense, minute before her lips quirked in a soft smile.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” I said with a soft smile. I knew next to nothing about her, but I knew that she and Clint were close, and her approval felt nice.

Clint tugged me down onto the couch, so he was next to Natasha and I was between him and Jane.

Everyone settled down and Tony clapped his hands loudly, “Jarvis,” he said, “load it up, buddy.”

As the lights and windows dimmed, the TV came to life and I let myself sink back into the cushions, leaving my arm leaning against Clint’s and my leg’s rested against Jane’s.

Movie night with the Avengers was like no other movie night I’d ever had before.

Steve would look to Natasha whenever he didn’t understand something, and she’d explain whatever it was in a hushed whisper.

Tony constantly made loud commentary on the technology, about how it was so outdated, even in futuristic films and how he could make so much better.

During any action sequence, Clint and Natasha would bicker about which one of them could do it better, and about how unrealistic certain moves and shots were.

Halfway through the second movie, pizza’s, popcorn and beers arrived from… somewhere, and the movie was paused so it could all be shared out without Steve, Bruce and Clint eating it all. Once plates were filled, and beer caps were popped, the movie resumed.

As the fourth movie started, I batted away another piece of popcorn that Clint tossed over his shoulder at me and glanced down at my phone. Surprised to see that it was only 11 pm.

I bounced my knee, trying to regain circulation as my foot started to seize up in my boot.

I glanced across at Clint who’d kicked his boots off hours ago, the two throwing knives that were in his boot now rested on the table in front of us. Next to him, Natasha had also kicked off her boots, and in front of her rested seven knives and a small handgun.

 _So was pulling weapons out of boots considered a norm in this tower?_ I thought to myself, before pulling my right foot up onto the couch.

I tried to be discreet as I slid the knife out of my boot, tucking into my back pocket before toeing both of my boots off; tucking my feet up between me and Jane.

Clint dropped his head down closer to me but didn’t look away from the TV. “Ya know, it’s not safe to keep knives in your back pocket, nor a taser in your hoodie,” he said, too low for anyone else to hear.

I tensed in place, my eyes flicking from person to person in alarm, like I expected one of them to stand up and demand I handed them over.

Clint made a slight hushing noise, shifting closer so he could sling his arm around me, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly.

“Darce, nobody here is gonna tell you that you can’t carry a weapon for self-defence,” he said. “I’m just saying you don’t have to hide them.”

I mentally cursed my own stupidity, pressing closer to him for a moment.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

Clint turned, pressing his lips against the side of my head for a moment, pulling me closer to his side. “You don’t need to apologise,” he murmured, letting his head on top of mine as we turned out attention back to the movie.

When the credits started to roll, the lights slowly brightened and everyone started to move. I pushed myself up from Clint’s side, stretching my arms out with a yawn. Dropping my feet back to the floor, I pulled on my boots before anyone could get a glimpse of the plastic.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed,” I said, pushing myself to my feet, gasping at the sudden shock that went up my thigh as my prosthetic locked.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked as Clint leant forwards slightly as if to catch me.

I nodded, massaging my thigh as I subtly tried to shake my leg.

“Fine, just cramp,” I said, smiling gratefully as Jane moved next to me, linking her arm through mine, letting me lean on her.

“I’m going to bed too,” she said.

After a round of goodnights, Jane helped me limp across the room to the stairs and I tried to ignore the questioning looks that followed me.

Once the door to the stairwell closed, I leant back against the wall with a slight groan. Pressing my fingers into the muscles of my thigh.

“You okay?” Jane asked, her hand resting on my arm.

“Fine,” I said through clenched teeth. “Just need to get to bed. It’s been a long day.”

As we’d perfected years ago, Jane helped me down the stairs and to my apartment door, mentally thanking Jarvis as my door opened automatically.

“If you need anything…” Jane said, squeezing my arm slightly.

“Thanks,” I said.

I stepped inside, shutting and locking my door behind me.

Taking a second to catch my breath, I limped through my apartment to sit on the edge of my bed. I kicked off my boots and peeled off of my jeans. Wincing as I pulled off my prosthesis to reveal the red, swollen skin. I let the leg fall to the floor; pulling my hoodie and shirt off.

I carefully hopped to the bathroom, going through my nightly routine as I leant heavily against the counter. I got back to bed and flopped down onto the pillows with a soft groan.

“Jarvis?” I said as I rolled over to plug my phone in.

_“Yes, Miss Lewis?”_

“Can you please wake me up if anyone tries to get in?” I requested.

 _“Of course, Miss Lewis,”_ he replied softly.

I smiled slightly, flicking off the lights, I settled down and then faltered.

“Jarvis? Can you—can you also not tell anyone about my leg please?” I asked.

Jarvis hesitated slightly. _“For security measures, I should advice you against it. But I will not tell anyone anything until you’re ready.”_

Smiling softly into the darkness, I looked out over the city. “Thanks, J.”


	4. One Lie Becomes Two...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You learnt hand to hand?” Natasha asked curiously. “You’re welcome to stick around and we can see what else you can do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short filler chapter and because it's so short I'm gonna post another, proper chapter tomorrow to make up for it.  
> This gives a little bit more about Darcy's past, not much but Clint, Nat and Steve get to find out a bit more about her.  
>  **Chapter Warnings:** Contains waking up from a nightmare/terror. The start of a panic attack that she get's under control, it's nothing major but be careful.  
>  **Edited: 5th October 2017**

I woke suddenly in a cold sweat, pressing my hand to the back of my mouth to stifle a scream. The lights came on automatically as I got my bearings.

 _“Miss Lewis?”_ Jarvis said, a hint of urgency or maybe concern in his voice. I jumped at the sound of his voice before I remembered where I was. _“Miss Lewis. Are you okay? Would you like me to call somebody?”_

“No,” I snapped sharply. Looking around the bedroom.

_I’m in the tower. I’m safe._

I swallowed thickly, drying my face with the back of my hand. Feeling slightly bad for snapping at the AI.

“No, thank you, Jarvis. I’m fine,” I said with a deep breath as I checked the phone.

Glancing across the room at the clock that was projected onto the windows. _04:18._

I groaned slightly, feeling the fatigue seep into my system, but knowing full well that I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep now. I pushed the covers back, hopping into the bathroom, I took a quick shower. Then reattached my leg, pulling a pair of jeans over the top.

I breezed through my normal morning routine. Coffee, splints, make-up… before I found myself standing in the middle of my kitchen just as the clock hit five am.

“Jarvis?” I asked. “Is anyone else up?”

“Agents Barton and Romanoff are in the gym. Captain Rogers is about to join them,” he said and I nodded, remembering something Tony said yesterday about an armoury and shooting range next to the gym that we had access to.

Making sure I had my phone and everything in my pockets, I stepped out of the apartment then faltered.

“Jarvis, what floor is the gym on?” I asked.

 _“Just follow the lights,”_ he said and I couldn’t help but smile slightly at how ominous that sounded, especially as small lights along the edge of the corridor flashed. One after the other, leading me towards the stairs.

I followed the lights down a couple of floors, and out of a door. Stepping out, I walked down a corridor. Behind the glass wall on the right was a large, Olympic size swimming pool, diving board and all, and to the left was a fully functioning gym. Stocked with everything from treadmills, to a climbing wall, to a set of parallel bars.

As I stepped into the doorway, I winced as my metal leg hit the wooden floor with a clunk that seemed to echo around the room, though neither three Avengers looked up. On the mats, in the middle of the room, Clint and Nat were sparring. I watched them for a minute, it was like a dance, twisting and flipping and kicking. Both of them bending their bodies in painful looking positions with ease.

My eyes drifted to a shirtless Steve, who was a little way away, doing press-ups. The muscles in his arms and across his back flexing in a remarkably aesthetically pleasing way.

Clint hit the mat with a loud thud and the noise snapped me out of my daze.

My eyes darted around the room, coming to rest on what I was looking for.

At the far left side of the room, was another room. Separated from the rest of the gym by an actual wall, not just glass. From this angle, I could just make out a shelf of rifles through the single long window.

I walked across the gym, wincing slightly as every time I put my left foot on the floor, it seemed to echo around the room loudly.

I pushed through the door to the range, letting it swing shut behind me as I looked across at the racks of guns.

“Jarvis. Is it alright if I shoot?” I asked hesitantly. Tony said we could go anywhere we wanted but people were hesitant when it came to strangers and guns and I totally don’t blame them.

 _“Yes, Miss Lewis. I will only stop you if I believe you’re doing something unsafely,”_ he said.

I nodded; that was fair enough.

I stepped closer to the wall, scanning past the rifles and machine guns to the smaller weapons. After a moment's hesitation, I picked up a Beretta 92FS.

 _“Ammunition to that particular weapon is in the drawer by your right elbow,”_ Jarvis said.

“Thanks,” I said softly, pulling open the draw he directed me to. Pulling out a magazine and a box of spare bullets.

I set them on the table at the head of the range, laughing slightly as a light turned on above the ear protectors and glasses almost pointedly.

Taking the hint, I put them both on as a target automatically moved into place.

I stepped up to the table, taking position I cocked the gun, aimed and fired.

I counted all fifteen shots, releasing the magazine I refilled it, locking it back in place and firing again.

Emptying another magazine, I flicked the safety on and laid the now empty magazine onto the table next to the gun. Stretching out my aching fingers before pulling the ear protectors and glasses off, dropping them down onto the table.

The lock on the door clicked open and my head whipped around as Clint stepped in, a curious, yet slightly impressed look on his face. He stepped up behind me, pressing the button on the wall. The target moved down the rail towards us and he snatched it off the peg and looked down at it. His eyebrows raised in surprise.

I looked over at the window as Clint inspected the target. Natasha had her arms folded across her chest, her chin tilted up with the slightest of smirks. Next to her, Steve, now wearing a shirt, stood, with a look somewhere between surprise and impressed on his face.

I looked back up at Clint who was looking at me with a warm smile.

“Where—” he said, a quiet tone of pride in his voice as his eyes flickered from the professionally laid out gun to the target back to me, “did you learn to shoot like that?”

“My brother taught me,” I said with a slight shrug. “Jarvis said I could be in here.”

“Oh, no you can,” he assured me. “Steve just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing.”

I turned to look at Steve, biting my painted red lip with a raised eyebrow, pink tinging his cheeks as he looked away.

“I’m sure Jarvis can pull up a record of my licence,” I said.

 _“Miss Lewis did, in fact, gain a firearms licence when she was seventeen years old at Joint Base Lewis-McChord,”_ Jarvis said.

Steve looked back up with a sheepish look. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice coming through the speakers, “I just wanted to make sure it was safe. I wasn’t implying that—I mean, I know that—” He broke off as Natasha punched his arm.

“It’s fine,” I said. “Most people don’t get a firearms licence at seventeen.”

Clint shifted slightly next to me. “Wait, don’t you have to be eighteen in Washington?” he asked.

“Oh,” I faltered slightly, “my brother put together a program for younger siblings and children of service people so they could see what their siblings and parents were doing. We got to see behind the scenes, learn to shoot, basic hand to hand, nothing fancy.”

“You learnt hand to hand?” Natasha asked curiously. “You’re welcome to stick around and we can see what else you can do?”

I opened my mouth to answer and faltered again. “Not really. I already kickboxed but I uh—I can’t do it anymore,” I said, wincing at how much of a lie that sounded, rather than seeing their suspicious looks, I busied myself packing everything away. “I should get to work, Jane will blow things up without me.”

“You don’t have to be in work until nine,” Clint said, pointing up at the clock that read 07:30.

My mind flashed back to the first time I kicked after I got my prosthesis. I was nearing nineteen and my physical therapist said it might be good for me to get back in the gym, learn to kick again to build up strength. I swung my leg up and my prosthetic locked, cutting into my thigh and I had to get eight stitches in the ER.

“I just…” I shook my head, glancing back up at them, pulling my hand away from my thigh as I realised I was unconsciously massaging it. “I can’t, sorry.”

I slid past Clint, out of the range, heading towards the doors to the gym.

“Darce, wait up!” Clint called, and I paused in the doorway but didn’t turn around. Instead, he came to stand in front of me, a worried frown on his face. “Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes flickering down to my leg.

“I’m fine,” I said automatically.

“What did you do to your leg?” he asked, his voice slow and careful.

“Nothing,” I said quickly, too quickly and then winced, “it’s just an old dance injury.”

He stared at me for a minute and nodded. Reaching out to squeeze my hand. “I’ll see you later,” he said.

With a grateful smile, I nodded. Trying not to rush as I walked out of the gym, along the corridor and back up to my apartment. I went through to the bathroom, scrubbing the sharp smell of metal and gunpowder from my hands.

I spent half an hour unpacking a box of books onto the shelf onto the living room before my arms started to ache and I decided to head up to the lab early and I wasn’t the slightest bit surprised to find all three scientists already working, the doors between their labs open.

“Morning,” I called out, heading straight over to the coffee pot to pour myself a cup.

“Good morning,” Bruce replied, taking a mouthful of his drink.

I glanced over at Jane and Tony who were bickering about one of Jane’s machines

Rolling my eyes I moved over to an empty desk, sinking into a seat, tossing my feet up onto the table. Content to just sip my coffee and watch Tony fight a losing battle.


	5. Disappearing Into The Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why the hell do you pay that much attention to my legs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day, seriously don't get used to this!  
> Okay so heads up, I have no experience with the US army and have no idea how these things work, so if this is all terribly inaccurate please tell me so I can fix it. I also know nothing about JBLM so again this is probably totally wrong so please bare with me...  
>  **Edited:** 9th October 2017

Ten days passed and each was as surreal as the last.

On our tenth morning, I woke up, just as tired as I was the night before. Dragging myself out of bed I dressed in a short-ish red summer dress over a pair of black leggings. I made a little extra effort to curl my hair and then headed up to the labs with a sigh.

Today was the day my brother deployed. It was the first time he was going back since our mom died, and even if I couldn’t be there; I could still dress like I would be.

The minute I stepped into the lab Jane rushed forward, hugging me tightly, not caring at the weird looks Tony and Bruce gave us.

She pulled away, brushing a hand through my hair. “Did you call him?” she asked quietly.

I nodded slightly. “I spoke to him last night; he understands.”

She gave a slight smile, stepping away to pour me a coffee before going back to work.

“What’s the occasion, Lewis?” Tony asked, not even trying to hide the fact that he was checking me out.

“No occasion,” I lied, “I just fancied a change.”

The morning passed with me staring absently at the clock, avoiding Jane’s sympathetic glances and Bruce and Tony’s confused ones.

It was nearing midday when the elevator doors opened and Clint came in, a determined look on his face while Steve and Natasha hung back behind him.

“Jane, you’re gonna need to make do without Darcy for the afternoon,” he said. He moved straight over to my desk, taking my hand he pulled me out of the chair, snatching my bag and jacket off of the back of the chair.

“Where are we going?” I asked, looking around in confusion.

“Joint Base Lewis-McChord,” he said simply and my head whipped round to stare at Jane accusingly. “It’s not Jane’s fault. You should have said something.”

“What’s at JBLM?” Tony asked, stepping away from his work with a curious expression.

“My brother,” I said with a sigh. “He’s being deployed at 1500.”

Tony looked slightly taken aback at my admission, then his face just morphed into confusion. “Why aren’t you in Washington?”

I shifted uncomfortably at everyone’s eyes on me. “I don’t have any way to get there,” I muttered.

Next to me, I could practically feel Clint rolling his eyes at me.

“Yes you do and you always had, you just had to ask. We’re taking the Quinjet,” he said, turning to leave. “Get whatever you need. Wheels up in five!”

“Clint,” I called out and he stopped walking, twisting back around to face me. I opened my mouth to say something, but couldn’t quite find the words. Instead, I rushed across the room, throwing my arms around his neck tightly. “Thank you,” I murmured into his neck.

Clint pressed his lips against my temple, hugging me back tightly for a moment before pulling away. “Four minutes,” he said, before disappearing back into the elevator.

I stood there for a moment before shaking my head, snapping myself out of it I rushed back to my desk. Pulling on my jacket, I shoved my phone in my bag that Clint had left on the desk.

Double checking that I had everything, I hugged Jane before following Steve and Natasha down the stairs. We crossed the common area and I followed them across the balcony and up to the Quinjet. As we stepped inside, the ramp rose and the engines came to life.

“Buckle up,” Clint called back as Natasha slid into the co-pilots chair next to him.

Following Steve’s lead, I sat next to him, leaning back against the windows and strapping in as the jet jolted, lifting up into the air.

“When was the last time you saw your brother?” he asked curiously.

“My mom’s funeral,” I said quietly; letting my head fall back against the metal. “We’ve spoken since, but with Thor and S.H.I.E.L.D. and… well, everything’ it’s been kind of hard to make the trip.” I shrugged slightly.

“I understand,” Steve murmured softly.

The journey passed in light conversation, Steve spoke about his first deployment, and as he told the story his fingers would brush over the two sets of dog tags that hung around his neck.

Our conversation was interrupted by the crackling static of the radio.

“JBLM tower, this is Agent Barton, Avengers Quinjet 0-0-1. Requesting permission to land?” Clint said.

Glancing back out of the window, I could see the familiar base in the distance.

 _“What is the nature of your visit, Agent Barton? Over?”_  a male voice asked over the radio.

Clint glanced over his shoulder at his, his lips quirking.

“Captain America is here to see off the troops. Over?”

_“This is JBLM tower, permission to land, out.”_

Clint cut the connection. Bringing the jet down to land with a soft bump. As the engines whirred down, I yanked off the harness, rushing for the ramp but Natasha grabbed my arm.

“Hold on,” she said, pulling my hood up, tucking my hair back. “Let Steve and I go first and keep your head down until you’re in the crowd.”

“Okay.” I nodded.

Clint lowered the ramp, coming to stand next to me as Steve and Natasha left first.

I looked up at as him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I said softly. He glanced up.

“It’s okay,” he said, looking back down the ramp as Natasha and Steve reached the crowd. “I know you’re not sure yet, but you can trust us, Darce. If there’s ever anything else, you don’t have to, but you can talk to any of us. You never know, we might be able to do something about it.”

“There is; something else,” I said after a minute, glancing up at his startled look guiltily. “Not now though. Later?”

Clint gave me a slight smile and nodded. After another moment he looked away, looking back down the ramp.

“Head down, remember?” he said, reaching out to take my hand. At my nod, he guided me down the ramp. I kept my head down and nobody even paid us the slightest bit of attention as we disappeared into the crowd.

We weaved through the families and soldiers, hesitating at the sight of them. Jake glanced up, his eyes meeting mine and his face lit up. My hand slid out of Clint’s, pushing through past a few people before launching myself into his arms.

His arms came around my waist, holding me tightly for a moment before setting my feet back on the ground.

“D?” he said, a disbelieving look on his face. “What are you doing here? I thought you said—”

“A couple of friends gave me a ride,” I said, gesturing to Clint who’d caught up with a soft smile.

Jake faltered. “Is that—”

“Uh huh.”

“How do you know—” he broke off with a shake of his head.

“It’s classified,” Clint and I said in unison.

“Are you two like, together?” he asked and both Clint and I snorted.

“Ew, no. He’s like having a second you,” I said. Jake nodded, reaching out to greet Clint, I turned to my sort of sister-in-law, Chelsea, pulling her into a hug.

Jake and Chelsea started dating when I was twelve, while I was going through well… _everything,_ she was there for me for all of it. She connected with me in a way that my family, even Jake struggled with. Even after all these years, they’d never got married, they were wanting to wait until Chelsea finished college, but just last year she finished her advanced medical degree and they’d gotten engaged a month later. Now, we were just waiting for them to set a date.

“How’s it going?” she asked as we pulled apart.

“Better,” I said honestly. “Not good, but better.”

She smiled.

“So, Peg Leg, are you ever gonna tell me what this big job in New York is?” Jake asked with a teasing tone as he reached out to tug the chain around my neck.

“That’s uh—that’s classified too,” I said quietly. Jake started to nod but Clint stepped closer, his hand brushing over my arm.

“Darce, he’s family,” he said softly.

My head whipped round to look at him in surprise. “I can tell him?” I asked.

“As long as you don’t go into crazy detail about anything sensitive.” Clint nodded. “I’ll get the others.” He tapped his ear, muttering something too quiet for me to hear but the next minute Steve and Natasha were stepping through the crowd to join us.

I grinned brightly. “Jake, Chelsea, I’d like you to meet some friends of mine, Captain Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. Guys, this is my brother Jake and his fiancée, Chelsea.”

Jake outright gaped at me and although Chelsea looked surprised, she was a little more composed.

“You—you work for the Avengers?” he asked, shock clear in his voice.

“I work for Jane still,” I said, “but she works for the Avengers and Stark Industries, not to mention the fact that she’s sort of in a relationship with Thor. But yeah, I’m living and working in the top floors of the tower.”

Jake stared at me for a moment before nodding, his eyes shining brightly. “Of course you are,” he said softly then grinned. “This is all… really amazing.”

Across the courtyard, a shrill bell rung loudly and I sighed, letting Jake pull me into his arms.

“Do me a favour?” he murmured against my hair. “Promise me you won’t tell dad? Don’t let him ruin this for you. Don’t let him use this to his advantage.”

I gave a shuddering breath and nodded. “I promise.”

Jake nodded against my shoulder before pulling away slightly, kissing the top of my head he brushed my hair back. “You look like mom,” he said softly. “You’re so beautiful and she’d be so proud of you and everything you’re doing and so am I.”

“Be careful,” I said, swallowing thickly with a forced smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Peg Leg.” He hugged me again, looking over my head at the three Avengers. “Don’t let her do anything too ridiculous, and make sure she doesn’t pull too many all-nighters baking.”

“We will,” Steve said, “you have my word.”

“The word of Captain America,” Jake mused, shaking his head. He kissed the top of my head once more before I let him step away. Moving back so he could kiss Chelsea softly, he hugged her tightly, murmuring something too low for anyone else to hear, before he grabbed his kit bag and walked away; not looking back. It was easier if he didn’t look back.

I leant into Steve’s side as I lost sight of him in the crowd, reaching out I laced my fingers with Chelsea as they boarded the jet. The plane took off, turning in the air before disappearing up into the clouds and I sighed.

Even though I’d stood here half a dozen times before, watching my brother disappear into the sky, but this time… this time I couldn’t get rid of the horrible twisting feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“I should go,” Chelsea said with a slight sniff as the crowd started to disperse. “I picked up an extra shift at the hospital this afternoon.”

I nodded, reaching out to hug her again.

“If you need _anything,_ just call,” I said.

“Likewise,” she said as she pulled away then looked up at Steve, Clint and Nat. “It was an honour meeting you and thank you; for everything you do.”

The three of them nodded and after squeezing my hand once more, she gave a last glance up at the sky before disappearing into the sea of people.

“We should go too,” I said as more and more people started to notice us.

Steve nodded, reaching out to tug my hood back up we headed back to the Quinjet, where I dropped back into my seat, strapping in with a weary sigh. I paid little attention to the journey back to New York, it wasn’t until the jet touched back down; I yanked off my belt and went straight down the ramp and across the Common Area. Heading straight to the bar I grabbed a bottle of vodka; taking a large swig.

After a while, Jane or Natasha, it might have even been Clint came and cut me off, and I staggered back down to my apartment. The last thing I remember was kicking my boots, shoes, socks and pants off; collapsing on the couch in just my dress as everything went dark.

.

I woke with a pained groan, wincing at the loud thumping at the back of my head – wait, no. Someone was banging on the door.

“Darcy!” Clint yelled, his voice muffled through the door. “Darcy, I swear to God, if you don’t open this door in the next five seconds I will break it.”

I sat up, ignoring the nausea that twisted in my stomach as my head spun. Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch, I tucked it around my legs securely, wincing as my prosthesis dug in.

“Let him in please, Jarvis,” I said, my voice groggy.

The door swung open and I was slightly surprised to see Clint _and_ Natasha rush in, both with looks of concern.

“Where the hell have you bee—” Clint broke off as his eyes rested on the half-empty vodka bottle on my table and I honestly had no idea how it got there.

“I was sleeping,” I said, scowling up at him.

“Passed out more like,” he scoffed. “What’s with the blanket? It’s like ninety degrees in here?”

“I felt like having a blanket. Is that a problem?” I snapped, then winced at how harsh my voice sounded. Clint looked slightly taken aback and Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Sorry, ‘m just tired.”

Clint shook his head, reaching down to grab my blanket but I tensed, gripping the edges tighter making Clint frown.

“Seriously, Darce, what’s with the blanket?”

“It’s nothing,” I lied, tucking it further under my legs. Looking back up at their unwavering looks of suspicion I faltered then sighed.

_I did say that I would tell Clint later…_

“I—Promise you won’t get mad at me?” I asked, my voice small and full of vulnerability.

“Why would we be mad at you?” Natasha asked.

“Just— _please,”_ I said, looking up at her desperately, begging her to understand without me having to elaborate. Seeming to realise this, she nodded.

“We promise,” Clint said softly.

“And you have—you have to promise that you won’t to treat me any different?”

“Darcy… what’s going on?” he asked. I gave him a pleading look and he sighed. “Alright, we promise.”

Taking a steadying breath, I shooed them backwards slightly. They both watched me curiously as I shifted the blanket. I swung my legs out from underneath me, not looking at their reactions until I stood up; smoothing my dress down so it fell just above the top of the prosthetic. Clint cursed and Natasha muttered something in another language.

“Darcy…” Clint trailed off, clearly not knowing what to say, pity lacing his voice. Against my will, tears burnt my eyes and I went to step away but he caught my arm before I could make it two steps; turning me back to face them. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was just surprised.

Hesitantly my eyes flickered back up to them, both of their faces carefully masked to hide their emotions.

“Can I ask what happened?” Natasha asked softly.

My eyes flickered between them for a moment before nodding, dropping back down on the couch. Clint sat down next to me and Natasha lowered herself to sit on the edge of the coffee table.

I went through everything, from my dance classes to the diagnosis, I told them about my surgeries and how I woke up without a leg and even about how I actually learnt to shoot.

By the time I was finished my head was pounding and I was exhausted. Slumping back into the cushions, I watched their reactions carefully. I expected pity or sympathy, but instead I was pleasantly surprised as Clint smiled slightly.

“Huh,” he said with a slight nod, “that actually explains a lot.” I raised a questioning eyebrow. “You walk with a constant limp, one of your pants legs is always baggier, you stand unbalanced when you shoot and it looks like you’re in pain when you lean on your left leg for too long. Oh, and those things on your fingers, they really don’t look like normal jewellery.”

I stared a Clint for a full minute, my mind reeling.

“Why the hell do you pay _that_ much attention to my legs?!” I exclaimed and Natasha snorted slightly.

“It’s my job to pay attention to things,” he replied with a slight shrug.

“Why do you think we would be mad at you?” Natasha asked softly, changing the direction of the conversation. I shrugged slightly but didn’t respond. “Darcy?” she prompted slightly firmer.

“I thought you’d leave,” I admitted softly. “Every time I tell people, I get pity and sympathy. They try and tell me what I can and can’t do and when I ignore them they leave. Jane, Jake and Chelsea are the only people who’ve ever stuck around. I thought—” I looked away guiltily. “I thought you might think differently of me.”

“Tasha,” Clint said, his voice holding a low hint of warning but I didn’t look up.

Next to me, the couch shifted as she sat between Clint and me. A soft hand on my arm made me flinch; my eyes flicking up at her before I could stop myself. As I made eye contact, she smiled slightly, something I couldn’t read flickered through her eyes before she wrapped her arms around me in a gentle, but firm hug.

“Nobody here is going to take your choices away from you. We’re not going to leave you because you don’t do thinks the same way as us,” she said softly before pulling away, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I swallowed thickly but managed to give her a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, Natasha.”

Natasha smiled back. “Friends call me Nat; or Tasha.”

.

The next day I woke up, smiling softly into my pillows. Sure, things weren’t perfect but now I had a glimmer of hope inside of me.

I went through my normal routine, heading up to the labs where Jane, as usual, was already working away.

She looked up as I stepped in, throwing my arms around her neck.

“Darce, what’s all this?” she asked, slowly reaching up to hug me back.

“I told Clint and Natasha last night,” I mumbled into her hair.

Jane’s arms around me tightened slightly. “I’m so proud of you, Darce,” she said as she pulled away.

“Me too,” I said with a grin. “Now—” I turned away. “—what sciency stuff are we doing today?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, terrible, I know. Now I was going to split this into two chapters, the seeing her brother deployed part and then Clint and Nat finding out plus the next bit, but I couldn't decide so I just put it together like this and I hope it's okay.  
> Also Darcy's outfit for this chapter is on Pinterest so go check that out if you want!  
> Lemme know what you think?  
> Also I am seriously amazed at the response to this story, the kudos', comments and bookmarks are unbelievable, so thank you so much I love you all!!!


	6. The Truth Brings Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I totally overreacted up in the lab, didn’t I?” I asked, letting my head fall back against the wall.
> 
> “A little.” She shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seven days exactly! That's pretty good for me.  
> After this chapter, I promise they're gonna start getting longer, so just bear with me!  
> Also, Darcy kinda overreacts in this, but she's having a bad day so at least she didn't taser anyone?  
>  **Edited:** 9th October 2017

Over the next week, things in the labs got weird, or it could have just been my sleep deprived brain telling me it was weird. Tony kept staring at me whenever I moved around or brought him food and every time he stared, Bruce would glare at him. After a week and a particularly rough night, it all got too much.

“Is there a problem?” I snapped, staring at Tony with narrowed eyes.

“No?” he said, his voice rising at the end so it sounded like more of a question than an answer.

“Well, clearly there is or you wouldn’t have spent the last week staring at me,” I said. Tony’s eyes drifted down to rest on my leg and I froze. “You know?” I breathed.

Jane stepped away from her desk, a cautious look on her face.

“Know what?” Bruce asked, trying to keep his voice casual.

Bunching my hand up in my trouser leg I looked over at Jane questioningly and she gave a slight shrug.

Taking a steadying breath I reached down, pulling the leg of my pants up above my knee. “I don’t have a leg,” I snapped. “Big deal.”

Dropping my pants leg I turned and all but ran to the stairs. I headed back down to my apartment, pressing my head against the door, pressing my fist against my mouth to stop myself from screaming. Making a decision that I would no doubt regret later, I changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top. Pulling on a pair of trainers before heading down to the gym.

I faltered in the doorway. The room was surprisingly empty. I’d half expected someone to be here, to tell me that this was a bad idea, but there wasn’t and I took advantage of that.

I moved over to the shelf, carefully wrapping my hands, being sure to make sure that it didn’t cut into my ring splints. Once satisfied, I stepped up to the punching bag. Stretching out my fingers, I clenched an unclenched my fists, getting used to the feeling of having the wraps on again. Flicking my hair over my shoulder, I took a breath and threw a punch; then another, and another. Slowly building up a steady rhythm.

_1, 2. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3, 4._

I bounced on the balls of my feet, ignoring the pain in my leg, instead focussing on my hands.

 I don’t know how long passed before I heard the doors slide open, but I didn’t bother to turn around straight away. It wasn’t until I realised that whoever it was wasn’t going to say anything or move did I stop. Turning, to see Steve leaning against the doorframe, watching me with a look somewhere between surprised and impressed.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking away as he realised I’d caught him staring. “I didn’t mean to stare.”

“It’s fine.” I shrugged, deciding that I may as well call it a day. Pulling one of the wraps undone with my teeth, looking back up at Steve as I unravelled it. “They took it when I was sixteen. It was the only chance I had to walk again,” I said in way of explanation, tossing the wraps on the table, re-securing my thumb splints.

Steve nodded, but before he could reply the door opened and Jane barrelled past him.

“There you are!” she exclaimed with a frustrated huff giving me a once over. “And do tell me exactly how you’re planning on walking up twelve flights of stairs like _that?”_

I followed her line of sight, looking down at my leg and grimaced. The top of my prosthetic had dug into my thigh where it had shifted. The skin around my stump was swollen and red. I pressed my fingers against it but pulled my hand away at the sharp pain.

“I’ll manage,” I said tightly, looking back up at Jane, shifting my weight to my right leg. I grabbed my water bottle off the table, tossing the wraps down the sterilization shoot before heading out past them, walking straight to the stairs.

I made it up five floors before letting myself collapse back against the wall, stretching my left leg out in front of me; gently trying to massage my thigh. Looking down, I wasn’t surprised to see Jane leaning against the wall below me with a look that clearly said she thought I was an idiot.

“I totally overreacted up in the lab, didn’t I?” I asked, letting my head fall back against the wall.

“A little.” She shrugged.

“Did Stark really know?” I questioned.

Jane shook her head. “You’ve been limping the last few days, he was trying to work out if you were hurt; he was worried,” she said and I let out a heavy breath.

“Well, fuck…” I said. “Is he mad at me?”

“No,” she said. “He was surprised. But he shut himself in his lab when I wouldn’t give him access to your medical file. Bruce was phoning Pepper when I left.”

“Well,” I said, trying to sound optimistic, “at least I don’t have to hide it anymore.”

“You didn’t have to hide it in the first place,” Jane said, coming to stand just below me, holding out her hand. “C’mon, let’s get you outta here.”

I let Jane pull me to my feet, her arm sliding around my waist as she supported some of my weight so I could hop up the stairs.

It took us another thirty minutes to climb another six floors but never once did Jane complain. As we reached our floor, Jarvis thankfully opened all of the doors for us and when we reached my living room I dropped down onto the couch with a grateful groan; carefully sliding my prosthetic off, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor.

Jane’s hand brushed over my shoulder. “I’ll get some coffee,” she said, disappearing behind me into the kitchen. Too tired to argue I just lay back, listening to her move around.

A soft knock on the door made me look up with a groan.

“Stay put,” Jane said, already moving past me and I gasped as she dropped a frozen ice pack and tea towel in my lap. I scowled at her, wrapping the towel around the ice pack, letting out a soft sigh of relief as I pressed it against my stump.

Jane pulled open the door and made a slightly startled noise.

“Tony?” she said questioningly then glanced back over her shoulder at me as if asking for my permission. I gave a gesture somewhere between a shrug and a nod and she stepped back, holding the door open. “Come in.”

Tony stepped past her, his eyes scanning the apartment before coming to rest on me. To his credit, his eyes only flicked down to my stump for a second before going straight back to my face.

“Do you want coffee?” Jane asked, shutting the front door, already moving back to the kitchen.

“Er, sure,” Tony said, coming to sit on the armchair to my right as Jane set three mugs on the table before dropping down next to me.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked, slightly unsure of why Tony was here.

Tony made grabby hands towards my prosthetic. “Can I--?”

“Sure?” I said, glancing across at Jane who looked just as clueless as I felt.

Tony snatched my leg up off of the floor, inspecting it closely. He bent the knee and the foot, lifted it up and down as if weighing it before looking back up at me.

“How long have you had this?” he asked, now sounding genuinely curious.

“Since I was sixteen,” I replied and Tony made a disapproving sound.

“This model of prosthetic was recalled five years ago,” he said. “Yours should have been replaced, and even if it wasn’t this model, you should get a new one every few years.”

“Right…” I said slowly. “What exactly does this have to do with anything?”

Tony set my leg back down, looking up at me, his expression scarily serious.

“I can make you a new prosthetic,” he said bluntly and I recoiled slightly. “Fully mobile. A permanent prosthesis that will be attached… with almost full feeling.” My breath caught in my throat, waiting for the punchline but Tony’s face was deadly serious.

“What—what are you talking about?” I stuttered, reaching out blindly to clutch Jane’s hand.

“Right before the Battle of New York, I went through S.H.I.E.L.D’s files. Downloaded all of their tech blueprints. There was something from decades ago, S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists helped build a prosthetic arm, it connected to nerve endings and whoever it was for had full control over it. They could move their fingers and twist their wrist with the usual range of flexibility. But this was years ago; right after the war. Bruce and I, we could build something far more advanced; for you; should you want it.”

I gaped at him for a full minute, not entirely sure what to say as my mind reeled. Seeming to notice that I was at a loss for words, Tony set the StarkPad he was holding on the coffee table. Double tapping the screen the hologram lit up in the air. Blueprints and calculations floating in front of me. But the only thing that mattered is that he was telling me this was actually possible.

“You can actually do this?” I clarified, my voice wavering as I looked back to Tony who nodded. “Alright… what’s the catch?”

Tony looked slightly taken aback and frowned. “There is no catch,” he said as if it were obvious. “I don’t want anything in return, I’m doing this because you deserve it.”

A list of reasons of why I _didn’t_ deserve something like this ran through my mind but I pushed them all away, focussing back on the hologram.

Jane squeezed my hand comfortingly and I nodded.

“Okay.” I swallowed thickly. “Okay, do it. _Please.”_

Tony’s face lit up like _I’d_ just given _him_ the best gift in the universe and not the other way around. He snatched the tablet off of the table and the image disappeared.

“Right then,” he said, suddenly back to business as he pushed himself up to his feet. “Jarvis, do a full body scan of Darcy and get Bruce to the labs, also send a message to Pepper about Betty Ross’ job offer.”

 _“Certainly, sir,”_ Jarvis replied.

“Lewis, I’ll send you the blueprints, if you have anything specific adjustments you want, let me know,” Tony said, swiping a mug of coffee off of the table, downing it in one mouthful. He set it back on the table and you could practically see his mind buzzing behind his eyes. “In the meantime, if anybody needs me, I’ll be in the labs.”

And with that, he left just as abruptly as he came.

I stared at the door for a full minute after it closed, not entirely sure what I was supposed to think right now.

_I was getting a new leg… A working leg…_

Turning to Jane, my eyes watered.

“Jane—” I choked.

“I know,” she breathed, pulling me into her arms. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what you think? And be sure to check out my Pinterest and Tumblr.


	7. A Life Changing Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve was in the army, was sort of with Peggy Carter, went on tour with chorus girls and I’m 90% sure there was something more than just friendship with Bucky Barnes, but he still blushed like a virgin at every remotely sex related conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we go. Things start picking up from the next two chapters, so just bare with me even though this chapter and the next are kinda cliché and really bad, it'll be better after that, I promise!!  
> Also I have no idea about anything to do with this sort of medical/technological stuff, so if it's wrong (which it probably is) and you know the right terminology please let me know!  
> Warnings: The start of a panic attack in this chapter, but it never actually happens, also a lot of time is spent in medical and there's needles so, there's a heads up...  
>  **Edited: 24th September 2016**

Over the next few weeks, I all but abandoned my work with Jane, spending almost all of my time in Tony’s lab.

He had, in fact, got one of my old tutors and Bruce’s ex-girlfriend, Betty Ross, a biochemist and biotech specialist from Culver. And apparently, between her and Bruce, they’d be able to guarantee full mobility.

Along with them, Tony had also brought in Doctor Helen Cho, a young woman from South Korea who was a world-renowned geneticist and she was working on something to rebuild skin and tissue, potentially even bone. But that technology wasn’t quite ready yet. So, to help her along, she’d signed a contract, accepting Stark Industries and Avengers funding on the condition that she helped with my leg.

As the plans became more certain, Tony made sure to go back and triple check everything. Making sure that none of the metals would react and that there was no risk of anything causing me any harm.

In just under three weeks, I was sitting in the labs, staring at what Betty called a converter.

“This will be surgically attached to the end of your stump and it will connect to your nerve endings. This is what will give you feeling and the ability to move the prosthesis,” she explained. “Once this is attached, we’ll have to wait for it to heal before we can attach the leg; with Helen’s help, this should only take about ten days. But, while it heals you won’t be able to wear a prosthetic.”

I paused as I realised what she’d said. If I couldn’t wear my prosthetic, there was no way I’d be able to manage ten full days on crutches; I really didn’t have time to be putting my shoulders back in their sockets every ten minutes.

Images of a fifteen-year-old me in a much too big wheelchair flashed through my mind and I sighed. “So, how long 'til we can do this?”

.

Two days later, bag in hand, I stepped out of the stairwell and onto the medical floor and as if on cue Betty stepped out of the nearest private room with a warm smile.

“Darcy, good morning. Come on in,” she said and I followed her back into the room, gesturing down to a pile of clothes on the end of the hospital bed. “Why don’t you get changed and I’ll come back and explain some things. We should be good to start the surgery in about an hour.”

I nodded slightly, dropping my bag onto the couch as she slid out of the room. Shutting the door behind her. I kicked my sneakers off and got changed; pulling on the pair of really short shorts and a paper hospital gown that was provided.

Folding my clothes, I set them under my bag before perching on the edge of the bed, carefully pulling my prosthetic off, letting it lean against the nightstand. My fingers drifted over the end of my stump, tracing along the scar tissue but before my mind could drift there was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” I called out and Betty stepped back inside, a StarkPad in hand.

We went through a load of standard medical questions and Jane came in as she was taking my vitals. Jane didn’t say anything, just sat on the couch with a supportive smile. As Jarvis red out my blood pressure, Betty pulled the cuff away with a nod, going to get Helen.

“So, Steve was asking about you,” Jane said as Betty left and I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on. You _have_ been spending a lot of time with him recently.”

“Yeah, _and?”_ I asked with an incredulous expression. “We’ve been watching some movies, catching him up on the past seventy years.”

 _“And...?”_ Jane prompted.

“And…” I faltered, then shrugged slightly with a soft smile. “He’s nice.”

“Nice?” Jane scoffed. “He’s beyond peak physical condition. I mean he’s no Thor, but you could totally still have some fun with that.”

“Jane!” I cried, throwing a pillow at her, it hit the side of her face but didn’t seem to deter her, “I’m not—he’s Captain America!”

“And?” she said, looking at me as if I’d just grown a second head. “Have you seen his ass in that suit? Him being Captain America changes nothing.”

“I—” I faltered at the picture of Steve in his suit came to mind, his arms and his ass— I shook my head, pushing the images and thoughts away. “Can we _please_ have this conversation after I have the potentially life-changing surgery?”

Jane’s teasing smile softened, sliding from the couch to sit next to me on the bed; her arm sliding around my waist, letting me drop my head down onto her shoulder.

“It’s going to be fine,” she assured me gently.

“But—but what if it’s not?” I asked quietly, chewing at my bottom anxiously.

“C’mon, Tony has hired _the_ best people in the world for this,” she said. “It’s going to work.”

“Is someone doubting me?”

We both looked around to see Tony leaning against the doorframe, his hands in his pockets with a slight smirk on his lips.

“Was that doubt I just heard?” he asked, stepping forward into the room, a teasing tone to his voice. “Lewis, I am offended that you think my design might not work. “When have you known something I’ve built not work?”

I opened my mouth to remind of the countless times his inventions have literally blown up in his face but he seemed to realise this and held up a finger.

“Don’t answer that,” he said. “But this—” his voice softened slightly. “—this is going to work, I promise.”

Swallowing thickly, I nodded with the slightest of smiles. “Thank you.”

With a slight incline of his head, he stepped back out of the room, letting Betty back in an IV pole in one hand pushing a metal cart in another.

Taking the hint I sighed, pulling away from Jane so I could hold out my left arm. Betty smiled at the look on my face, wiping the inside of my elbow with an antiseptic wipe.

“Sharp scratch,” she warned before pushing a needle into my skin. I hissed slightly as she set the cannula in place, hooking up the bag of Saline, my nose scrunched up at the feeling of the cold liquid seeping under my skin.

“Urgh, leave your saline out of the refrigerator,” I said, pushing myself round so I was laying on the bed.

Betty laughed, “Sorry about that.”

“How’s it going?” Helen asked, stepping into the room wearing a crisp set of scrubs.

“Ah, ya know?” I shrugged slightly. “Just love hanging in the med-bay.”

Helen gave a sympathetic smile. “Well, let’s see if I can help with that,” she said, her expression going serious. “We’re ready when you are.”

I smiled, holding my arm with the cannula in. “Hit me up with those sedatives.”

Helen cracked a genuine smile, pulling a syringe from the trolley. She waited for me to get comfortable.

“Count backwards from ten for me?” she asked, pushing the needle into the cannula but hesitated over the plunger.

“Any particular language?” I queried, only half joking.

“English is fine.”

I sighed, watching as she pressed the syringe. Feeling the sudden wave of drowsiness almost instantly. “Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven… Six… Five…”

And everything went dark…

.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep…_

I winced slightly at the repetitive high-pitched beep of a heart rate monitor that rung in my ears. I opened my eyes, blinking away the grogginess with a slight groan.

“Here,” Clint said quietly from my right, pressing my glasses into my free hand.

I slid them up my nose, letting everything come back into focus. Jane was curled up on the end of the couch fast asleep and the room was dark, the lights dimmed and the world outside in the darkness.

“What time is it?” I mumbled, trying to push myself upright but my movements were uncoordinated and it tugged on my IV line.

“A little after one am,” he replied, reaching out to help me sit up.

Looking down at my blankets I hesitated for a moment, then reached out, tugging them aside. My stump was wrapped in pristine white bandages, but at the very edge was a distinct lump. With a shaky hand, I pressed down on the very end, feeling the hard metal underneath.

“It worked?” I asked, my voice wavering as I looked back up at Clint hopefully.

“As far as they can tell.” He nodded. Tears stung at my eyes but I quickly blinked them away. “I need to let Betty know that you’re awake. I’ll be right back.”

I nodded, letting him press a soft kiss to the top of my head before sliding out of the room; the door opening and closing with a soft click. The noise seemed to stir Jane from her slumber and she opened her eyes; stretching out with a groan; faltering as her eyes landed on me.

“You’re awake!” she cried, stumbling to her feet to come to my side.

“Clint went to get Betty,” I said, my voice thick with fatigue.

“How’re you feeling?” she asked, giving me a once-over.

“That is a very good question,” Betty asked, stepping back into the room with Clint a half a step behind. She stepped up the other side of my bed, checking my IV before sliding a StarkPad off of my nightstand.

“I’m fine,” I said with a small shrug. “A little drowsy.”

“That’s to be expected.” She nodded. “Do you have a headache? Nausea? Pain?”

I shook my head. “Not at the minute.”

“Okay. Well, everything seems to be fine,” she said, checking my bandages for any signs of blood. “Try and get some rest and I’ll be back to check on you in the morning.”

“Betty,” I called out as she turned for the door. She turned back to me. “Thank you.”

She gave a gentle smile and a nod of acknowledgement. “Get some rest, Darcy,” she said before sliding out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

“Tasha and Steve are out on mission,” Clint told me, “they got called out a couple of hours ago. Pepper finally dragged Tony outta here about ten, Jarvis has probably told him you’re awake but we all know that Pepper won’t let him down here until the morning.”

I smiled slightly before looking around the small hospital-like room in distaste. “When can I go home?”

“Tomorrow,” Jane said then glanced at the clock, “today, whatever it is. They said you need to get some rest and they’ll see how you are.”

I nodded again, letting Clint guide me back down into the pillows.

“Get some sleep,” he said gently. “We’ll both be here when you wake up.”

I managed to just about pull my glasses off of my face, letting Jane take them from my fumbling hand and I was already asleep.

.

The next time I woke, the beeping didn’t seem as shrill nor the lights so bright. I took a second to let my eyes drift around the room. Jane was once again curled up on the couch, this time with a StarkPad in her hands and a scowl on her face as she typed furiously. On the wall to her left, next to the TV, Clint sat in the opening of the vent, his legs hanging down the wall as he casually fiddled with an arrowhead.

I shifted slightly, reaching for my glasses as Betty chose that moment to step in.

“Ah, you’re awake,” she said, making both Clint and Jane’s heads shoot up in surprise. “How’re you feeling?” she asked.

“Good,” I said truthfully as I pushed myself into a sort of upright position. Maybe it was the fact that I’d gotten several hours of solid sleep, or because the surgery went well, whatever it was; I didn’t care.

“Good,” Betty repeated, scanning her eyes over something on her tablet. “Well, considering you’re not going to be going far, I don’t see any harm in letting you go home. Jarvis will continue to monitor your vitals, and the minute you start to feel unwell, he will alert me.”

I nodded, holding my arm out as she pulled out the cannula on my arm and unhooking the one from around my head that someone had put on me while I’d been out of it. She handed me a pot of painkiller, giving me a list of things I can and can’t do for a little while as I pulled on my hoodie over the hospital gown; not bothering to get dressed if I was only going up a few floors.

“Barton, can you make yourself useful and get that chair from the corridor, please?” Betty said.

Clint huffed dramatically, dropping down to the floor, sliding his arrowhead into his back pocket and disappearing out of the door.

Shoving my phone and pot of pills in my pocket, I let Jane scoop everything else into my bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

Tossing the covers to the side, I pushed myself to the edge of the bed, my one leg hanging down so the tips of my five toes could brush over the edge of the floor.

Clint came back in, whistling a vaguely familiar tune, parking a low backed, active wheelchair in front of me.

“Your transportation, ma’am,” he said in a perfect British accent, tipping an imaginary hat.

Rolling my eyes at his antics I pushed myself up to balance on one leg, wincing as my head spun and I blindly reached back for the bed as my balance twisted.

“Darcy?” Betty asked, her voice laced with concern as I screwed up my eyes tightly for a moment.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Just tachycardia. It happens sometimes.”

 _“I can confirm that Miss Lewis’ heart rate has risen to 125 beats per minute,”_ Jarvis said. _“Tachycardia is not uncommon for Miss Lewis when she gets up.”_

I opened my eyes and thankfully everything was standing still again, but Betty, Jane and Clint all looked ready to spring forwards and catch me at a seconds notice. I rolled my eyes at their looks of worry.

“Seriously, I’m fine guys,” I said, twisting myself around so I could lower myself into the chair, setting my foot on the footplate.

“Jarvis?” Betty prompted.

_“Miss Lewis’ pulse has dropped back to 94 beats per minute and is lowering still.”_

Betty’s eyes narrowed but she didn’t comment on the matter, instead, after a moment; she nodded. “Alright. Go, get out of here. I have paperwork to do,” she said, shooing us back towards the door.

Behind me, I heard Clint snicker. I barely glanced over my shoulder before twisting my chair around; my lips quirking as he jumped back with an indignant noise.

“See ya later, Betty,” I said, pushing myself out of the room, along the corridor and into the elevator. I spun back around as Jane and Clint stepped in on either side of me and the doors slid closed.

“Our floor please, J,” I said, my eyes fixed on my knees as the feeling of anxiety in my chest tightened.

I flinched slightly as Clint’s firm hand came to rest on my shoulder, dragging me back into reality and I forced myself to take a deep breath in.

I pressed myself into his touch, relaxing slightly as his thumb brushed over the back of my neck in a soothing pattern until the elevator stopped and the doors slid open. As soon as the gap was wide enough, I pushed myself forwards, along the corridor to stop outside my door. Pressing my thumb to the pad I let Clint push it open, stepping back so I could wheel myself inside.

“I’m going to clean up,” I said softly, “and then food.”

Clint nodded, dropping back down on my couch, clearly intending to wait.

I glanced up to Jane with a hopeful expression and she inclined her head in response. With a grateful smile, I pushed myself towards my room. I unlatched the door and kicked it open with my foot. Wheeling myself inside, I waited for Jane to come in behind me, shutting the door softly.

“Go get cleaned up,” she said softly, “I’ll find you some clothes.”

“Thanks,” I said, pushing myself into the bathroom.

Setting the pot of painkillers and my cell phone on the counter, I pushed myself up and out of my chair, balancing on one leg as I stripped out of the hoodie, hospital gown and shorts.

As I wasn’t allowed a bath or a shower for at least another twenty-four hours, I wiped myself down with a washcloth. Trying to get rid of as much of the hospital smell and feeling as possible. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, brushing out the ends of my hair before rebraiding it. Stretching out my throbbing fingers I held them under the warm, running water for a few minutes before drying them off and sliding my ring splints back in place.

Jane knocked on the door, and as I called out for her to come in, she stepped around the door, completely undeterred by the fact that I was in my underwear, she held out a handful of clothes.

“It’s just a pair of shorts and a t-shirt,” she said, “nothing fancy.”

I nodded slightly, pulling the shirt over my head before pushing myself up to perch on the edge of the counter so I could slide my leg into my shorts.

“It’s good,” I said quietly. “Thank you.”

She nodded, waiting for me to pull on the oversized Culver hoodie; shoving my stuff back in my pockets I lowered myself back into my chair.

“Alright,” I said, letting my eyes scan over my reflection briefly. Deeming my appearance suitable to be in the presence of other human beings, I pushed myself out of the bathroom, through my bedroom and back into my living area; not even questioning why Clint was sitting on the back of my couch and not on the actual couch.

He looked up as we came back in, sliding his phone back into his jeans pocket.

“Common room?” he questioned.

“Common room.” I nodded.

He pushed himself to his feet, leading the way back out of my apartment and up to the common area.

We headed straight towards the kitchen and I parked my chair up next to the breakfast bar, pushing myself up and onto one of the stools, chatting idly with Jane as we watched Clint work his way around the kitchen.

My mouth watered as he set a full plate of breakfast in front of me.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” I asked, inhaling the fry up with a soft moan as I looked up at him.

“Hmm, not recently,” he said, setting a cup of coffee next to my plate.

“I love you,” I declared, my face deadly serious as I reached for the coffee; practically inhaling half of the cup.

Clint’s lips quirked slightly in amusement. “I love you too,” he said sliding a cup to Jane who was too consumed in whatever science was on her StarkPad to notice.

 _“Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff have arrived back in the tower,”_ Jarvis announced after several moments comfortable silence.

“Are they okay?” I asked, just like I did every time one of them came home.

 _“My scanners indicate that neither of them sustained any critical injuries. Captain Rogers has some bruising and two fractured ribs, which with his healing rate will be fully healed by dinner. Agent Romanoff has a cut across her abdomen which she stitched up herself. She would like me to inform you that they’re cleaning up and then will join you for food,”_ Jarvis said and everyone, even Jane, made some sort of gesture of recognition and understanding.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, the elevator flashed and Natasha, followed closely by Steve rounded the corner, the worst of their visible injuries seemed to be a bruise across Steve’s cheekbone.

Natasha hesitated at the edge of the breakfast bar next to me. Her eyes giving me a once over, hesitating on my stump, then the chair before flicking back up to meet my eyes.

“How are you, Mалютка?” she asked, her voice soft.

I hesitated at the word Mалютка, it sounded Russian but I had no idea what it meant.

“I’m good,” I said, looking between hers and Steve’s concerned gazes. “No side effects so far.”

Natasha smiled, before moving smoothly around the counter to Clint. Her lips brushed over his cheek and they murmured a greeting to each other in a language I didn’t understand before she stepped back slightly. Clint tugged up the edge of her shirt to reveal a clean white gauze taped to her right side, which Clint slowly peeled back. He inspected her stitches for a moment, ignoring the way Natasha rolled her eyes. Seemingly satisfied, he pressed the gauze in place, moving past her to wash his hands.

“Are you cooking?” Natasha asked sweetly, sliding back around the breakfast bar to sit in between Jane and Steve.

Clint looked between Steve and Natasha and sighed dramatically as he turned back to the stove. “Fine,” he huffed, “but you owe me, Romanoff.”

“I’m sure I can make it up to you later,” she said with a slight shrug. “Maybe we can do that thing that you wanted to try, you know, the one with the ropes and the collar…” Natasha trailed off as Jane choked on her coffee and I laughed. Glancing across, Natasha’s lips were curved into a perfect smirk, her eyes shining brightly and next to her, the tips of Steve’s ears were turning slowly redder.

Clint glanced over his shoulder and hesitated as if he was considering this and then he too smirked. “We’ll see,” he said, then proceeded to tip some bacon on Steve’s plate as the super soldier gave a pained look.

“Aw, look. You’ve embarrassed a national icon,” I teased lightly.

Steve had been in the army, had been in a sort of relationship with Peggy Carter, toured America with chorus girls and had probably had something more than just friendship with Bucky Barnes, but still, he blushed like a virgin at every sex-related conversation.

Clint looked up at Steve and snorted. “So, I probably shouldn’t mention that time when we were in that club in Budapest and—” he broke off as a roll of kitchen paper hit him in the forehead.

“Don’t you dare,” Natasha said, her voice quiet and threatening.

Clint gave a slightly sheepish smile before turning back to the burning eggs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want y'all to know that I'm really amazed by the amount of kudos, comments and bookmarks that this story has gotten and I seriously love you all!!  
> Don't forget to check out my pinterest and tumblr, questions and theory's and suggestions are always welcome!


	8. A Step In The Right Direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D.’s big scary radar isn’t as good as people think it is,” I said with light shrug. Clint and Nat exchanged an unreadable look, but dropped the subject as Clint slid a mug of steaming coffee towards me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm officially going to be updating this story every Monday I think. It seems to be working.  
> Okay, so I forgot to put the translation in the last chapter notes so what Nat calls Darcy is at the bottom in the notes.  
> I know a couple of you were asking a lot about how Darcy would do in a wheelchair but every time I tried to write it, it was just weird, so I decided to do a week time jump.  
> For those waiting for some Steve/Darcy you should like the next chapter!  
> I think this is the longest chapter I've written so far so enjoy...  
>  **Chapter Edited:** 27th October 2017

It was official. I _hated_ being in a wheelchair just as much as I did when I was fifteen. Although now, I saw the benefits a lot more, I still hated the fact that I couldn’t just walk to places.

In the past week I had: scuffed several door frames, run several people’s feet over; multiple times, terrified dum-e and to top it all off, every time I wanted to go anywhere I had to use the elevator, and every time I used said elevator alone, I had a panic attack. One day Clint had found me, out of my chair, on the floor outside the gym hyperventilating; it was decided I wasn’t allowed in the elevator alone again.

And while I was grateful for all that everyone was doing to help me, although they weren’t saying anything, they must have found it annoying. I couldn’t cook for myself, I couldn’t reach the coffee machine and when I was in the range, all of the guns were on a shelf too high for me to reach. Anytime I wanted something I had to wait for somebody to come and move it. It made me feel sixteen again and I hated it.

Which is how I found myself curled up in the corner of the conversation pit, re-watching The Breakfast Club.

Jane was out of town for forty-eight hours, doing some presentation at Harvard, so I was spending as much time as possible in the Common Rooms trying to inconvenience people as little as possible.

The elevator pinged and flashed and I glanced briefly across to see Steve, Clint and Natasha step in, all freshly showered from where no doubt, they had just come from the gym.

“Problems?” Natasha asked lightly, her gaze going pointedly from my frustrated expression to my chair that was lying on its side from where I had shoved it away.

“Not at all,” I mumbled bitterly, clutching the cushion I was holding a little tighter as I turned back to the TV.

“And these children that you spit on…” Clint quoted, dropping over the back of the couch, down onto the seat behind me, and Natasha slid down the other side of him.

“Huh?” Steve questioned, actually taking the steps down to sit the other side of me.

Reaching forward, I grabbed the remote; flicking the movie right back to the start. The screen faded black and the quote came up in clear white writing:

 _“…And these children_  
that you spit on  
as they try to change their worlds  
are immune to your consultations.  
They’re quite aware  
of what they’re going through…”  
\--David Bowie

“Steve, it is time to be educated on _the_ best movie _ever,_ ” I said, my mood suddenly lifting.

“I thought you said Cool Runnings was the best movie ever?” he said in confusion.

“Ssshh. That is the best _true story_ movie ever,” I corrected, waving my hand absently. “It’s pedantics.”

“And this is?”

“This,” I said slightly dramatically. “This is the story that _everybody_ has been able to relate to in one way or another since 1984.”

Steve nodded, still looking slightly unsure, but turned back to the TV nevertheless.

Jarvis must have alerted people to our impromptu movie evening because ten minutes in Tony, Pepper, Bruce and Betty appeared, all settling down to join us.

After half of the movie had passed and I had explained _yet another_ pop culture reference to Steve, I leant forwards, snatching a napkin off of the table and the pen that Clint randomly had behind his ear; I started a list.

“Here,” I said, passing them both to Steve. “Everything you don’t understand, you can write down to look up later. That way Tony can stop scowling every time somebody talks.”

Steve nodded in thanks, tucking the napkin and Clint’s pen inside his pocket.

When The Breakfast Club ended and Tony started up the team’s movie queue, I glanced over at Steve and smiled slightly. _Everyone_ connected to The Breakfast Club; even Captain America.

.

As it started to get late, the empty Thai boxes were collected up and everyone started to turn in for the night. Leaving me alone with just Clint and Natasha.

“You don’t have to wait for me,” I tried to assure them. “I’ll be fine.”

“Betty said that somebody should be close by overnight in case something happens and Jane isn’t here,” Clint said, a hint of hesitancy in his tone.

Natasha stepped forwards and rolled her eyes. “We have a spare room and you’re staying at ours the night,” she said bluntly. Clint winced slightly at her tone of voice but nodded.

Glancing between them both I sighed and nodded, knowing full well that they were right.

“Alright,” I said quietly, pushing myself up to my feet—no, just foot. With Clint’s balancing hand on my arm; I hopped up the steps, waiting at the top as Natasha went and retrieved my chair. Standing it back upright, she wheeled it over to us.

Once I was sat down, I pushed myself forwards, moving across the room and into the elevator. I didn’t turn around until the elevator stopped, trying to focus out on the city skyline and not the small metal box. When the doors opened, I let Clint and Natasha leave first before I wheeled myself backwards into the corridor; spinning around, I pushed myself after them.

I followed Clint through their apartment and into their guest bedroom, behind us, Natasha stepped in, setting a very familiar duffle bag on the bed.

“If you need anything, just give us a shout,” Clint said and I nodded, leaning into his touch as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head before they stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind themselves.

Taking a moment to take in the room, I noted that it was practically identical to the spare room in my own apartment. Same colour walls, same basic furniture and even the same bedspread. Grabbing my bag, I set it on my lap and pushed myself into the bathroom where I got changed and went through my usual nightly routine. Wheeling back into the bedroom, I parked my chair and hopped the short distance to the bed. Just as I settled down, my phone pinged to indicate low battery then, a second later, it chimed again and just as I started to drift off; I thanked the Gods for StarkPhone’s wireless charging technology.

.

I woke on my own around mid-morning, going to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth; not even bothering to get dressed or use my chair before I hopped out into the living area where Natasha was sitting at the breakfast bar; eating a bowl of fruit loops with a mug of tea in front of her. She was still dressed in her workout clothes, still somehow looking flawless with her shirt and hair sticking to her. Shaking my head, I pushed all of the thoughts about how hot she looked from my mind. Hopping forwards, I sat next to her.

“Good morning, Mалютка,” she said, “Clint is hogging the shower. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to use up all of the hot water just to spite me.” She rolled her eyes in fond exasperation.

“Malytoka?” I asked, then winced at how I butchered the accent.

Natasha laughed. “Maly-u-tka,” she said, looking both amused and appalled at the same time, “your accent is terrible.”

“I took Italian, Korean, Spanish, German and Farsi,” I listed, “excuse me for never perfecting a Russian accent.”

“Please,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “if you can perfect a German accent, you can perfect a Russian one.”

“What does it mean?”

Nat raised an eyebrow.

“Malyutka,” I said, speaking the word slowly to try and get the accent right. Natasha gave me a soft smile of praise in return.

“Nothing bad,” she assured me cryptically.

Before I could press the matter any further, her bedroom door opened and Clint stepped out, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans. Either forgetting that he and Nat had company or more likely he just didn’t care.

“Tasha, my batteries are dead again,” he said, his voice a hint louder than usual.

Natasha sighed, spinning her stool around so she was facing him straight on. She knocked the heel of her foot on the floor in two sharp knocks and he looked up at her.

Her hands moved through the air in swift motions and my mouth dropped as I recognised the signs.

 _‘Your spares are in the coffee table. Still refusing to ask Stark about a better power source?’_ she asked.

Clint rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. Instead, he walked across the room, kneeling in front of the coffee table, he pulled the drawer open. Digging around for a minute, he came back up with a small black box, when he flicked the lid open with his thumb, he slid the hearing aids into his ears.

“Huh,” I said, as I realised what just happened.

Both Clint and Natasha looked around at me as if remembering for the first time that I was there. A look of what appeared to be fear flashed through Clint’s eyes before it was carefully masked.

 _‘I didn’t know you were deaf,’_ I signed.

Both spies gave me a shocked look.

 _‘I didn’t know you could sign,’_ he retaliated.

I shrugged slightly. _‘My father was partially deaf. He spent years refusing to wear his aids. So, I learnt to sign.’_ I couldn’t help but hesitate over the word ‘father,’ even after all this time; it didn’t seem right.

“Why is none of this in your file?” Clint asked aloud.

“You’ve read my file?” I asked, mentally scanning through my S.H.I.E.L.D. file and what I had and hadn’t deleted.

“Not the point.” Clint waved it off. “Your leg wasn’t in there. No medical history from after you were twelve. Your family information is vague. Up until Jane, according to recon and surveillance, the only people you had any sort of contact with was your mother, your brother and his girlfriend.”

“Good,” I stated simply, proud that my hacking in New Mexico had withstood S.H.I.E.L.D. and all of their… invasiveness.

“Your file makes it seem like you were on S.H.I.E.L.D’s radar… but you weren’t,” he said, moving to pour out two cups of coffee.

“Maybe, S.H.I.E.L.D’s big scary radar isn’t as good as people think it is,” I said with a light shrug, accepting the cup of coffee Clint slid me with a smile of thanks.

Clint and Natasha exchanged an unreadable look but thankfully dropped the subject.

 _“Miss Lewis,”_ Jarvis said after a few moments of comfortable silence, _“sir is requesting your presence in the gym.”_

I faltered slightly, looking up at the ceiling as if I was looking at Jarvis in confusion.

“Tony is in the gym?” I asked, “Why?”

I racked my brain for anything that might resemble making plans with Tony for today, but I came up blank.

 _“I’m not at liberty to say, but he does press that it is important and you’ll love it,”_ Jarvis said.

Glancing between Clint and Natasha, they both shrugged, looking just as confused as I felt.

“Can he wait ten minutes?” I tried.

_“Miss Potts says he can.”_

Clint snorted and Natasha gave a slight smile.

“Good,” I said, downing the last of my coffee before sliding off of the stool, “I’ll be there in ten.”

Using the furniture to balance me, I hopped back through to the guest bedroom, getting dressed for the day.

I eight minutes in a routine I nailed in college, I was dressed; hair and makeup done. Foregoing a shoe, I settled in my chair; pushing myself out into the main room, wincing slightly as the footplate scraped against the doorframe.

Clint rolled his eyes, but with a gentle smile, I knew he meant no real harm.

Natasha held open the front door, waiting for me to push myself through and out into the corridor.

We took the elevator down the gym, and I was too distracted by the curiosity of whatever Tony was up to too care about the small space.

I faltered in the doorway to the gym at the sight of everybody. Tony, Pepper, Betty, Bruce, Jane _(when had she gotten back?),_ and an unfamiliar brown skinned lady were stood around two very familiar physio bars, a table, on which a sleek black case sat and a black medical couch.

“W—what’s going on?” I asked, not even caring as Natasha pushed me forwards, parking my chair next to the couch.

“We’ve decided, that for the sake of the towers door frames and painted furniture, that the quicker you can walk; the better,” Tony said. Pepper elbowed him sharply in the ribs and he rolled his eyes dismissively.

“I don’t understand,” I said, looking between the scientists and the CEO for an answer.

“Jarvis has been monitoring the rate of healing in your leg. Three days is going to make no real difference,” Betty said, “it’s healed enough now.”

“Wait, are you saying—” I broke off, my eyes coming to rest on the black case. Out of the corner of my eye, Betty nodded. “So, you’re saying. I can have the prosthetic fitted and… walk again on the same day.” I looked at the bars pointedly.

“Providing all goes well, yes. But not as you did before, not straight away. It’s going to take physio and time,” Betty said with a soft smile.

“I believe that’s where I come in,” the unfamiliar women said, she stepped forward, brushing her long dark curls back over her shoulder, “my name is Charlotte Lahey, I’m a physiotherapist that specialises in amputees, although I normally work with the VA.” She reached out to shake my hand. “I also don’t normally work with prosthesis’ this advanced. So, we’re not entirely sure how long it’s really going to take to get used to this.”

“Why don’t we get started and see,” Tony said, clapping his hands together.

Clint held out a hand to me, letting me use it to pull myself out of my chair and balance myself as I pushed myself up so I was half sitting, half laying on the couch.

Tony stepped up to the table and my grip on Clint’s hand tightened slightly as Tony lifted the lid on the case.

Laying on top of the padding was a metal leg. It was made up of small silver plates, each only a couple of centimetres in size; connected together at all sides giving it a smooth finish.

I watched with bated breath as Tony carefully lifted it out, carrying it over to lay in the space where my leg should be.

Sure, I’d seen all of the blueprints and holograms, but looking at it like this, while it was actually here was surreal. It was amazing.

Tony looked up at me with a soft look on his face. “Ready?” he asked gently.

I gave a slight nod, vaguely aware that Jane had moved to my other side, taking my other hand tightly.

Tony shifted the leg, pressing it against the converter. The two pieces of metal snapped together with a gentle whirring noise.

“I’m going to turn it on in stages. Feeling will gradually come down your leg,” Tony said, “if it hurts, or gives you a sensory overload we can turn it straight off, go slower, whatever you want. Jarvis is monitoring it and you.”

He waited for my nod of understanding before pressing something on his watch. The leg clicked again and I gasped at the sudden, new sensation.

It was weird, as feeling slowly spread down and over my knee. It was like when your leg goes numb because you’ve slept on it and the feeling comes back with that gently ache.

A hot tear trailed down my cheek as the toes, _my toes_ twitched.

_Holy shit I could feel my toes! I could move my toes!_

Experimentally, I wriggled my toes on my right leg, then the toes on my left leg. The plates moved smoothly with no mechanical whir. They shifted and bent just as smoothly as skin would.

I made a soft sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob as I reached out to brush my fingers over the top of the surprisingly warm metal. I traced my fingers down over my converter which was now completely blended with the rest of my leg; brushing down my thigh and settling on my knee, another tear rolled down my cheek as I realised I could _actually_ feel it.

I could feel the leather couch under _both_ legs. It felt different than my right leg, the sensation slightly dulled but still there, and I could even feel the difference between the couch and the feeling of my fingers.

I don’t know how long I sat there, just tracing inane patterns up and down my leg, but finally, I dragged my eyes up to look at everybody. Jane looked a little glassy-eyed as she grinned down at me. Everyone, even Natasha, was grinning brightly at me. Steve, who’d appeared at some point was lingering back from everybody else, he gave me a slight grin but looked stunned.

“How does it feel?” Jane asked, letting her hand that was holding mine come to rest on my shoulder.

“Amazing,” I said, “I can feel it. It’s not the same but… _fuck_ , it’s there and I have a leg again.” I gave up trying to brush my tears away; instead, letting Jane pull me into her side as I sobbed slightly and Clint squeezed my hand. After a moment to gather myself, I looked up at Tony, Bruce and Betty in turn. _“Thank you.”_

The three of them nodded and Tony’s grin grew wider.

Charlotte stepped around to the left side of the couch and Tony stepped backwards.

“May I?” she asked her hands inches from my new foot.

She ran a finger over the arch of my foot and I shifted slightly. It didn’t tickle as such, but at the same time, it kind of did. It wasn’t as sensitive, but the sensation was still there. Like feeling the touch through a pair of jeans.

We went through a series of things. “Can you wiggle your toes? Can you bend your knee? Raise your legs? Rotate your ankle? Point your toes?”

I went through each movement with a soft gasp of awe. Trying and failing to blink away more tears. After nearly an hour, the clock on the wall told me, she moved the physio bars around next to the bed.

“Ready to try and stand?” she asked and I nodded eagerly. Twisting around, I sat up, letting my feet, plural, hang over the edge; my toes not quite brushing the floor. “So, when you stand I want you to balance on your right foot and I’m going to move the couch from behind you and I’m going to ask Agent Barton to stand behind you in case you fall, okay?”

She didn’t move until I nodded.

I carefully stood up, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the bars tightly. I balanced on my right foot, letting the metal leg just hang down, it felt no heavier than my other leg.  I felt the couch move away from behind me, and Clint’s hand slid from my hand to rest on the small of my back.

“Okay, slowly, I want you to rest your left foot on the floor but don’t put any pressure on it,” she said, and slowly I moved to follow her instructions as she came to stand in front of me, her hands held out as if to catch me if I fell. “Alright, and when you’re ready, start _slowly_ putting pressure down.”

My grip tightened even further on the bars as I hesitantly shifted my weight to both legs. As the pressure evened out, the metal plates held but my thigh shook slightly at the new feeling.

Clint’s hands came to rest on my waist.

“How does that feel?” Charlotte asked with a slight grin.

“Amazing,” I breathed, my eyes fixed on my feet.

“Good,” she said, “if you feel up to it, you can take your hands away from the bars and try to stand on your own.”

Biting my lip apprehensively, I lifted my hands up from the rails, letting them hover just an inch or two above; just in case I needed to catch myself, but I didn’t. After a moment or two, my leg stopped shaking; the muscles seemed to recognise that the signals the prosthetic was sending and stopped fighting against them.

I let out a heavy breath; brushing my tears away before looking back up at Charlotte.

“Feel okay?” she asked and I nodded. “Good, now, I want you to shift your hands forward a bit, yeah, like that. I want you to slowly try and take a step forward onto your left leg.”

As she said, I moved my left leg forwards, letting it slowly rest on the floor before putting weight on it and coming back together.

“Again?” Charlotte asked and I nodded.

This time, I didn’t hesitate. I stepped straight forwards. Unlike my last prosthetic, this one was actually the same length as my right leg; so I’d already moved my weight forwards before my foot was actually on the floor and I stumbled. My hands slid over the bars and Clint’s hands caught me before I hit the floor.

“You okay?” Charlotte asked, taking my arms, guiding me back upright.

I nodded. “Uh huh.”

 _“Miss Lewis’ Parietal Lobe is receiving an increase of electrical signals,”_ Jarvis said and I felt several sets of accusing eyes hitting me.

“I don’t even know what that means,” I grumbled, leaning back against Clint’s chest for a moment as I retook the bars.

“It means you’re in pain,” Tony said, scanning me critically.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “You guys do realise I have a chronic illness in which one of the main symptoms is chronic pain, right? I’m literally always in some sort of pain. Stop worrying,” I said.

“Jarvis,” Betty said, her narrowed eyes fixed on me, “would your scanners say that Darcy is in more pain than usual?”

 _“It perhaps equates to a minor flare,”_ Jarvis said, and almost everybody’s concerned looks turned to confusion.

“Darcy?” Jane prompted, raising an expectant eyebrow.

I huffed. “I’m fine. Jarvis did say _minor,”_ I said, “I’m pretty sure it’s just my body getting used to the leg.”

“Maybe we should call it a day,” Charlotte said, “we can do some more tomorrow.”

I shook my head. “No,” I said, shifting my grip on the bars, “I can do it.”

Charlotte studied me for a moment before nodding slightly. “Alright,” she said, taking a small step back to give me room, “take your time.”

Taking a deep, steadying breath, I put my left foot forwards and took a step. My lips twitched slightly, and I took another, then another, and another. I felt Clint’s hands slip away and my grip on the bars loosened.

As I reached the end of the bars, I looked back over my shoulder to where I started with a bright grin.

“Holy shit,” I breathed.

_I could walk!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So although I am learning Russian most of my translations come from Google translate, so if it is wrong, please let me know.  
> Mалютка - pronounced: malyutka - Little One (Russian) 
> 
> I see Charlotte as Tina Desai (yes Kala from Sense8)
> 
> Thank you for all of your feedback and don't forget to check out my Pinterest and Tumblr!


	9. Вдова

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And that was how Clint walked in several hours later to find Nat and I sprawled across the couch, my head on her ankles reciting the Russian alphabet and numbers from 1-20.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm actually getting kinda good at this whole weekly updates thing, who'd a thought?  
> First things first, I'm going to start posting a companion fic or a load of one-shots (I haven't decided yet), of little scenes either from other peoples points of view or scenes that didn't really fit. If there are any scenes that you want to see you can make requests but I cannot guarantee them anytime soon. Also, I have no idea how quickly I will update that.  
> Onto this chapter!  
> Warnings: The beginning of this chapter contains a panic attack triggered by claustrophobia, but it's nothing really descriptive  
>  **Edited: 31th October 2017**

After nearly two solid weeks of physical therapy passed, the distance I could walk got further and I could now stand on my left leg alone without it hurting or giving way and so Charlotte finally declared that as long as I took things slowly, I could stop using the chair.

At the end of my session, I watched her leave with a bright grin. Practically buzzing as I bounced on the balls of my feet.

“Good news?” Steve asked from where he lent against the door to the gun range.

“Yeppers,” I said, shifting my weight from one foot to the other with ease, “I am no longer in danger of ruining Tony’s paintwork.”

Steve smiled, stepping towards me, his hands in his pockets.

 _“Captain Rogers, Sir is requesting your presence in the labs,”_ Jarvis said before Steve could reach me. He looked at me in confusion and I shrugged.

“Don’t look at me, I haven’t been up there today,” I said, “but I’ll come up with you, see if any of them have actually eaten anything today.”

I followed him out of the gym and into the elevator almost automatically. But as the doors closed, I pushed myself back into the corner; my breath catching in my throat.

_No. No. You’re fine. It’s safe._

_“Miss Lewis, my sensors are detecting that you’re in distress,”_ Jarvis said and Steve’s head whipped around to face me.

“Darcy?” he asked, his voice laced with concern. He reached out towards me but I flinched back as his hand brushed my arm.

_Trapped. Small. Can’t get out._

“I can’t—I can’t breathe,” I choked out as the room seemed to tilt, the walls closing in around me as the ringing in my ears grew louder.

“Jarvis?” Steve said.

_“All indications show that Miss Lewis is having a panic attack.”_

“Darcy, you’re okay,” he said. I felt the elevator stop and the doors opened; a gentle hand on my arm guided me out of the elevator and I stumbled against the wall; sliding down to the floor.

Steve knelt down in front of me, taking my hands in his, he placed them over his heart.

“Doll, you’re okay. You just need to slow your breathing down. Okay? Take a deep breathe in… and out,” he said, taking deep, exaggerated breaths that I tried to copy, “that’s it. And again. Breathe in… and out.” With each breath I took, I started to get my bearings back. We were sitting right outside the elevator in the thankfully empty common area. “Good girl, you see; you’re safe.”

Before I could stop myself I sagged forwards, my head resting against Steve’s chest.

“Fuck,” I said, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes, “I’m sorry.”

I went to pull away but Steve’s gentle hand on my back stopped me.

“You don’t need to apologise,” he said, shifting slightly so he was sitting against the wall, his arm around my shoulders so I was still leaning against his chest.

“Gods, I’m so stupid,” I muttered angrily to myself as I scrubbed against my face.

“Why?” Steve asked softly, my fingers combing through my hair.

“I—I live in a tower full of superheroes and I can’t even handle being in an elevator. An elevator that I’ve been in dozens of times in the past week. Sitting, standing; it’s stupid,” I said, tugging and the ends of my hair.

“Hey, don’t do that,” he said, pulling my hand away from my hair, holding it on my thigh, “you’re not stupid. Everyone is scared of something. Even the people living in this tower and _everyone_ reacts to fear in their own ways and that’s okay. We’ve all had panic attacks, Darce, even over insignificant things. You’re allowed to be scared and react to that fear in whatever way you need to and when you do, it never makes you stupid or weak.”

“’s what Clint said,” I mumbled petulantly.

“He’s right,” he continued, squeezing my hand slightly, “you’ve been in that elevator a lot recently, and I reckon you’ve been trying to stop yourself from panicking every time, right? I think you’ve just overdone it a little bit.” I looked up at him doubtfully. “You’re doing good, Doll. Better thank you think. I promise.”

I stared up at him, searching his face for something, anything that said he was just telling me what I needed to hear, but he stared right back, with unwavering soft blue eyes.

“Did I just get Captain America’d?” I asked with a feeble smile.

Steve gave a short laugh, looking away with a shake of his head.

Forcing myself to pull myself together, I pushed myself forwards.

“C’mon,” I said, standing up, “I want coffee and something with sugar in before I find out what Tony is trying to blow up.” I tugged on Steve’s hand, trying and failing to pull him up to his feet. He looked up at me with an amused smile but didn’t budge. “Urgh, you’re heavy,” I groaned, yanking on his arm again. This time, he rolled up to his feet, letting me pull him into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen I rather reluctantly dropped his hand, moving towards the coffee machine.

 _“Miss Lewis, might I suggest that drinking something with less caffeine in, it would help your current state,”_ Jarvis said, _“Data shows things with more sugar than caffeine help after panic attacks.”_

I glared at the coffee machine but knowing Jarvis was right, I stepped back. Instead, pouring out a mug of milk; shoving it in the microwave.

While it was heating I reached into another cupboard, faltering over a box of chocolate chip cookies. With an exasperated huff, I tossed the box on the counter; raising an eyebrow at the throwing knife sticking out the cardboard.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled the knife out. Turning the blade over in my hand, hesitating at the sight of the inscription that read: _ВДОВА._ I recognised the word as Russian but had no idea what it meant.

“Part of me wants to know why, and the other part…” I trailed off with a shudder. It was clearly Natasha’s knife and Natasha did some scary shit sometimes.

Steve snorted as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

I slid the knife into my hoodie pocket, making a mental note to go see Natasha later and return it. Steve opened his mouth to no doubt lecture me on proper knife safety but at my sharp look, he closed it with an audible snap.

Tearing the box the rest of the way open, Steve and I started and finished off the cookies while I waited for the microwave to ping. When it did ping, I took the mug out; setting it down on the counter.

“Jarvis, have the Science Squad eaten or drunk anything today?” I asked, stirring the collate powder into the steaming milk.

 _“Sir and Doctor Foster have both had two cups of coffee and Doctor Banner has had a cup of tea,”_ Jarvis said and I glanced over at the clock with a huff. It was almost five o’clock.

“J, can you send some food up and switch the coffee machine on, please?” I requested.

_“Certainly, Miss Lewis.”_

Steve and I took the stairs up to the labs when we entered Bruce was the only one to look up; offering us a soft smile in greeting.

I went straight over to their small kitchen. Pouring out two cups of coffee and a tea.

With four cups in hand, I carefully swept around the room.

Bruce accepted his tea with the usually quiet, “thank you.”

And Tony, who was rambling to Steve about magnets gave me a strange look as he accepted the drink, even giving me a small, “thanks.”

Shaking my head at Tony’s sudden politeness, I moved over to Jane’s desk, setting her coffee down in front of her. She looked up from her tablet at me, glancing between me and my drink before reaching out to take my hand. Giving me a look that clearly asked ‘are you okay?’

“How’d you know?” I asked softly.

“You only drink hot chocolate during the day after you’ve had a panic attack or flashbacks,” she said and I stared at her blankly.

_Since when was Jane this observant?!_

“Also, Jarvis told Tony you had a panic attack in the elevator when you and Steve didn’t come straight up,” she added with a sheepish smile.

“Snitch,” I muttered, shooting a scathing look towards the ceiling.

Jane sipped at her coffee for a moment before her head snapped back up to look at me.

“Oh, my God! You’re walking!” she cried, looking down at my leg with wide eyes.

“Charlotte gave me the all clear. I don’t need to use the chair anymore as long as I take it easy,” I told her with a slight laugh.

“I’m so happy for you,” she said, reaching out to hug me tightly.

“And you can make _me_ happy by eating the food that’s getting sent up,” I said when she pulled away, “but I need to go and find Nat.”

“Be careful,” she said, giving me a pointed look.

I grabbed my hot chocolate, downing the last few mouthfuls I waved Jane away over my shoulder as I tossed my now empty mug into the sink on the way past.

“Jarvis, where is Nat?” I asked, pushing the door to the stairwell open.

 _“Agent Romanoff is in Agent Barton’s apartment,”_ Jarvis replied.

“Are they decent?” I asked, wrinkling my nose as I started down the stairs.

 _“Agent Barton is not in his apartment,”_ Jarvis said.

I made an affirmative noise, pushing open the door to their corridor, moving to knock on their door.

Natasha pulled it open a second later, looking at me with a look of soft surprise.

“Darcy?” she said in confusion.

“I believe this is yours?” I said, pulling the knife out of my pocket, holding it out, handle towards her.

“Oh, right. I forgot about that,” she said, taking the knife; flipping it up in the air. “Thank you.”

“What does that mean?” I asked, nodding down to the engraving.

“Вдова?” she asked.

I nodded.

“It means widow. As in, Black Widow. Clint got it for me while he was on mission once. He saw the engraving and thought it was funny,” she explained.

“I never learnt Russian,” I said, “all of the letters look really confusing, so I took Korean instead.”

“Russian is easier than Korean,” she said, looking at me as if I’d grown a second head.

I shrugged. “Plus, when I was at school the Russian teacher was creepy—” I cut myself off. “He was just weird. Nobody liked him much.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes but thankfully didn’t comment.

“I can teach you,” she said offhandedly, making me look up at her in confusion.

“Huh?”

“Russian. I can teach you Russian,” she said, “it’s really not that hard and you never know; it might come in handy someday.

“Really?” I asked in surprise.

 _The_ Black Widow was offering to take the time to teach me Russian. She gave a slight nod and I grinned brightly in return.

And that was how several hours later, Clint walked in to find Natasha and I sprawled across the couch, my head on her ankles, reciting the Russian alphabet and then the numbers 1-20.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> ВДОВА - pronounced: Vdova - Widow (Russian)
> 
> Don't forget to check out my Pinterest and Tumblr (I'm posting gifs) and let me know what you think about some one-shots or a companion fic!


	10. #MysteryGirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with those three tweets, Steve was trending worldwide in seconds. Some people were cheering and some people were saying that Tony Stark had managed to corrupt Captain America. Me, I just smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is the longest one yet I think, and I kinda like it.  
> Can I just say thank you so much for the Kudos and comments! I'm so amazed by the fact this has 300+ Kudos and nearly 200 comments. You are all so awesome, thank you!!  
> So...  
> Warnings: The media is sexist. Twitter is sexist, kids in bookshops are cute!  
>  **Edited: 31st October 2017**

_“Miss Lewis, you have an incoming video call from Staff Sergeant Lewis,”_ Jarvis announced, automatically pausing the movie.

I scrambled upright, from where I was half asleep against Steve’s shoulder; suddenly wide awake.

“There’s a screen downstairs,” Pepper supplied, nodding to the stairs that lead down to the entertainment floor.

I nodded in thanks, pushing myself up to my feet, and then winced. A week was not enough time to get used to that feeling.

“Put him through downstairs please, Jarvis,” I said. Not bothering with the steps, I climbed over the back of the couch, running towards the stairs, ignoring Jane yelling at me to be careful.

I practically threw myself onto one of the couches as the air in front of me lit up in a 2D hologram of a video chat with Jake’s face grinning down at me.

“Jake!” I exclaimed, beaming up at him.

“Holy shit, D! What happened to your leg?” he blurted out, his eyes widening.

“Aw crap, I forgot you didn’t know. Basically, you know how I sort of work in the vicinity of Tony Stark…” I told him the whole story of how I got my leg and Jarvis showed him the footage of me learning to walk again. When the footage faded away, Jake looked misty-eyed.

“I’m so proud of you, Darcy,” he said fiercely and heat flooded my cheeks, my eyes automatically drifting to the floor, “No, Darce, really. I mean it. I am _so_ proud of you. From where you were a few years back when you came to leave with us, to now…” he trailed off. “Everybody always said you’d get up to the top.”

“Not everybody,” I couldn’t help but mutter, what I thought was too quiet for him to hear, but Jake sighed.

“D, you know that dad isn’t worth your time,” he said softly.

“Is it bad I miss him?” I asked quietly. After everything he had done and said; a part of me still wished he was there.

Jake opened his mouth to answer, but Mike Davidson, Jake’s best friend chose that moment to lean over his shoulder.

“Did I hear The Dick being mentioned? Because he’s a dick and is not worth wasting valuable minutes talking about,” Mike said bluntly, then looked at me, snatching Jake’s headset off, putting on himself. “Hey, Darce.” He grinned. “Holy fuck, where are you? Are you in a five-star hotel? Wait, what’s up with your leg? Why is it all shiny?”

I laughed. “Classified. No. I got a new prosthetic and it’s just made of metal,” I listed.

“Classified? I thought you worked for an astrophysicist?” he said and I rolled my eyes.

“Jake can fill you in. But expect a few NDA’s to sign,” I said before looking back to Jake.

 _‘You can fill him in on my job. But I swear to God if everyone starts to find out, I will murder the both of you.’_ I signed.

Jake sorted but nodded.

 _‘Yes, ma’am.’_ He signed back followed by a mock salute.

“Urgh, stop doing that,” Mike groaned and I couldn’t help but snicker slightly. Mike was fluent in twelve different languages but sign language was not one of them.

“Oi, Davidson! Get off Lewis’ call!” the familiar voice of their C.O, Iain Richards yelled in the background.

“I gotta go, Darce,” Mike said, waving back at someone, probably Richards.

“Go say hi to Richards for me,” I said with a small, sad smile.

“Will do. See ya soon, Peg Leg. Love ya!”

“Love you too, you idiot,” I said.

Mike gave me one last grin before dumping the headset unceremoniously back on Jake’s head before jogging away.

Jake filled me in on the random day to day stuff at the base and I tried to look past the dark circles under his eyes and the strain in his voice whenever he mentioned home or Chelsea.

“I’ve gotta go,” he said eventually, glancing over his shoulder, flipping someone, probably Mike off.

“I love you,” I said with a small voice.

“I love you too,” he said, “see you when I get home.”

The feed froze and the hologram seemed to dissolve into nothing. I stared at the now empty space, blinking away the tears that burnt my eyes.

I don’t know how long I sat there before the sound of someone walking down the stairs made me turn around.

“You okay, Doll?” Steve asked, stepping around the edge of the couch to stand in front of me. Standing up I practically launched myself forwards, burying my face in his chest as my arms went around his waist.

“I miss him,” I said with a slight sniff.

Steve sighed. His arms came around my shoulders, one hand resting on the back of my neck as he held me close.

We stood there for a while before he finally pulled back slightly, his hand resting on my shoulders.

“Wanna go back upstairs? Tony said something about team bonding,” he said, his fingers dropping from my hair.

“Has Nat got vodka?” I asked, tilting my head back to look at him.

“Probably,” he said with a slight laugh.

“Then hell yeah,” I said, turning to skip back up the stairs.

.

 _“Miss Lewis. Miss Lewis, wake up. Agent Romanoff wishes to know if you’re still planning on meeting her this morning,”_ Jarvis said his voice louder than usual, waking me with a start.

I groaned at the pounding in the back of my head, rolling over to look up at the clock projected on the window.

_09:28_

_And… I was late. Fuck!_

“Can you tell her I’ll be there fifteen minutes please, J,” I said, pushing myself upright; trying to ignore the way my head spun.

_“Certainly.”_

I went through my college perfected, under ten minute morning routine. Heading into the kitchen, my hair still dripping down my back as I took my tablets dry. Glancing at the clock, I decided that rather than pissing of Natasha by being late I’d get coffee at their place.

With the fuzzy feeling at the back of my head, I rechecked I had all of my splints, my phones, I double checked I’d taken all of my meds before heading out. I took the stairs up to Clint’s apartment, knocking on the door.

Natasha pulled it open, looking me up and down.

“Доброе утро,” she said, stepping back to let me inside. _Good morning._

Something about a freshly showered Black Widow dressed in sweats would never not be weird.

“Утро,” I muttered, moving straight to the breakfast bar where Clint passed me a cup of steaming coffee which I accepted gratefully. “Thanks,” I mumbled, wrapping my hands around the mug, practically inhaling the drink. _Morning._

“Dormire bene?” Clint asked, switching to Italian. I shrugged then paused. _Sleep well?_

“Sì. Mi ha fatto in realtà, ho mai svegliato,” I replied, the unpractised Italian rolling off of my tongue with surprising ease. _Yeah. I did actually, I never woke up._

“È parlare italiano?” Nat asked with a raised eyebrow. _You speak Italian?_

“And Spanish, German, French, Korean, Hebrew, Farsi and a little bit of Dutch,” I said proudly. Languages was the one thing that I picked up ridiculously easy, so whenever I had a chance to learn another one, I did.

Nat looked mildly impressed.

“American high schools taught Korean?” she asked.

“God no,” I said with a scoff, “I learnt how to count to ten in Spanish in school when I was nine. The rest I taught myself. I was home-educated.” I shrugged slightly then changed the subject completely. “I wanna go shopping. I am too tired for trying to decipher Cyrillic today.”

Clint and Natasha exchanged a look and shrugged in creepy unison.

“Sure,” he said.

“Give me ten minutes,” Natasha said, not waiting for a reply, she disappeared into their bedroom.

I tossed my hair over my shoulder, trying to comb out some of the moisture with my fingers.

“C’mere,” Clint said, moving to stand behind me, swatting my hands away. He sectioned out of my hair, and if felt like he twisted and moved parts around before leaning past me to pull open on of the drawers on the counter; pulling out a pot of bobby pins, sliding several into different parts of my hair.

“I didn’t know you had a tattoo here,” he said, pressing the pad of his thumb against the star tattoo behind my right ear.

“I have two tattoos,” I said, pulling my left sleeve up to show him the anchor on the inside of my wrist, “I thought you were supposed to be observant, _Hawkeye.”_

Clint grumbled something under his breath, tugging a strand of my hair lightly.

“Done,” he declared after a few more minutes, just as Natasha came back out.

“Am I pretty?” I asked, tipping my head back to look at him.

“As a princess,” he declared, dropping a kiss onto my forehead.

Natasha rolled her eyes as she shrugged on a leather jacket and slid a knife into her boot; looking at the two of us expectantly.

Taking the hint we pushed ourselves up, following her out of the apartment where we took the elevator down to the lobby and I ducked my head at the flashing cameras as we exited the building. Neither Clint nor Natasha stopped to talk to anybody and I regretted not wearing anything with a hood as cameras flashed in my face.

“Wenn ich jemanden erschießen würde, würde der Rest dann gehen?” Natasha asked, moving faster down the sidewalk.

“Ich bezweifle es,” Clint replied, a hand on the small of my back, guiding me through the paparazzi and I snorted. _I doubt it._

“Besides, Pepper would kill you for the paperwork,” I added, not bothering to continue with the German.

Our first stop was an old-fashioned bookshop and I could and would have spent all day in there had it not been for Clint’s impatience.

I grabbed a few books for myself, and notebook for Steve to replace the tatty napkin of references he was still carrying.

We reached the till and I dumped the small stack of books on the counter next to Natasha’s novels, when I glanced back I saw a little girl, no older than seven, stood behind us with a teenager trying to tug her away.

The younger girl’s hands flew through the air as she signed quickly, pointing to Natasha and Clint who were pretending not to notice. The older girl sighed and stepped forwards.

“Erm, excuse me?” she said awkwardly. “My little sister wants to know if you’re really the Black Widow and Hawkeye?”

Clint and Natasha turned around with friendly smiles.

“Yeah, we are,” Clint said, glancing between the sisters with a slight nod.

The younger girl tugged on her sister’s sleeve when she looked down at her, she pointed to her lips and shook her head.

“Sorry,” the older girl said, signing as she spoke, “she’s deaf and she can’t always read lips. She struggles with her words.”

Clint reached out, resting a gentle hands on the girl's arm to stop her signing and he knelt down in front of the younger girl.

 _‘Hey there,’_ he signed, _‘my name is Clint, but some people call me Hawkeye.’_

The little girl’s eyes widened almost comically, looking between Clint and her sister who looked equally as surprised.

 _‘You can talk with your hands as well?’_ she asked.

 _‘Sure I can,’_ Clint signed, _‘so can Nat.”_

The little girl looked up at Natasha with a soft gasp. _‘Really?’_

 _‘Sure,’_ Nat said, crouching down next to Clint, _‘I’m Natasha. What’s your name?”_

 _‘Rebekah,’_ she spelt out carefully, _‘That is Allison, my sister.”_

They signed to each other for a little while, Rebekah told them how Clint and Natasha were her favourite Avengers and how she wanted a Black Widow figuring to add to her collection but apparently, nobody sold any good ones which Natasha promised to look into.

Not for the first time, Rebekah glanced up at me curiously.

 _‘Can your friend talk with her hands, too?’_ she asked, gesturing to me.

 _‘Why don’t you ask her?’_ Clint suggested.

Rebekah turned to me and repeated her question.

 _‘I can,’_ I signed, _‘my name is Darcy. It’s nice to meet you, Rebekah.’_

Rebekah beamed up at me, practically bouncing with excitement as she looked between three new people she could communicate with without any hindrance.

I looked back to Allison who was watching the interaction with glassy eyes and a bright smile.

“Are you okay?” I asked aloud.

Allison glanced over at me and nodded.

“It’s just, not many people can talk to her properly,” she said, “she relies on me a lot and I don’t mind. She’s was just too scared to talk to you in case they thought she was silly for not being able to talk to them like everybody else does. You have no idea how much this means to her.”

Clint and Natasha spoke with Rebekah for a while longer, they all took some pictures together before Allison said it was time to go, and with a reluctant look started to pull Rebekah towards the door. As she opened the door she turned back, with a soft smile.

 _‘Thank you,’_ she signed, getting three gentle nods in return.

Once they were gone we turned back to the counter where our books still sat and the lady at the till smiled.

“That little girl is such a sweetheart,” she said, “what you just did will mean the world to her. You folks have a nice day.”

We paid for our books and Clint held open the door in an exaggerated gesture of chivalry as we left.

“I think you just made that girls year,” I said, following Natasha as she drifted into the clothing store next door.

Clint smiled, looking his arm through mine. “When I first lost my hearing, the only way people could talk to me was writing things down,” he said, “when I joined the circus, one of the animal handlers knew ASL. She spent hours teaching me and she made damn sure everyone else there could too. Just so I could communicate with everybody without feeling singled out.

“More people should be taught to sign. So kids like her don’t grow up so disconnected from the world.”

.

We weaved through a variety of shops, burying a few things here and there and on the way back Natasha convinced Clint to buy us Starbucks.

“You do realise we could get this when we’re back at the tower, right?” he said as we stood in line. “You do know there’s a Starbucks by the food court on the second floor along with an _entire_ mall.”

“Huh,” I said, “I did not know that, but it figures that Tony Stark has an entire floor of things he can just throw money at.”

“Two floors,” Natasha corrected, “they’re probably the highest paid retail workers in the country.”

I nodded, somehow knowing that didn’t make it seem so excessive.

While we waited for our drinks both Clint and Natasha grew more and more uncomfortable as a group of teenagers in the corner started to notice us and phones were held up in a way that they probably thought was discreet.

“Let’s get out of here,” Clint murmured as soon as we had our drinks, his hand on the small of my back, guiding me through the fast forming crowd.

We walked rather quickly back to the tower, and I sagged in relief as we entered the tower and Natasha reached up to the retinal scan on the elevator.

We went straight up to the common room, where Pepper was sitting in the conversation pit, scrolling through a holographic Twitter feed and I cringed at the couple of pictures of myself that popped up.

“Do I want to know?” I asked, dropping down over the back of the couch opposite; reaching for my tablet that for some reason was on the coffee table.

Pepper gave me a sympathetic smile as I opened up Twitter and instantly cringed.

The picture of Clint and Natasha signing in the bookshop with Rebekah had gone viral and I was clearly visible, smiling in the background.

_@allison94  
@hawkeye_official , @the_blackwidow & Darcy spent time signing w/ my sister Rebekah in a bookstore this afternoon. You made her day Thank you!_

I smiled slightly, it _was_ a cute picture.

Underneath that one though, was a variety of others, taken by the paparazzi and people’s cell phones alike of Clint, Natasha and I.

One of the pictures was Clint with one arm slung over each mine and Natasha’s shoulders; the three of us laughing at something he had said. It was captioned with:

 _@intouchweekly:  
_ Who is this brunette seen out with @hawkeye_official and @the_blackwidow? It looks like a pretty intimate relationship. #MysteryGirl

With that tweet, #MysteryGirl had become a thing with a long string of tweets attached.

  _@jenniferanderson:  
_ Is she sleeping with them? #MysteryGirl

 _@rogersgrl107:  
_ It’s the same girl from the bookshop. Her name is Darcy. #MysteryGirl

 _@rogersgrl107:  
_ It’s @darcy_lewis #MysteryGirl #NotAMystery

 _@rogersgrl107:  
_ @darcy_lewis are you fucking @hawkeye_official and @the_blackwidow ? #MysteryGirl

 _@e_bishop  
_ Maybe @hawkeye_official got bored with @the_blackwidow and needed something new. With tits like #MysteryGirl ‘s, I would.

 _@william554  
_ Right, but #MysteryGirl and @the_blackwidow would be fucking hot together. I don’t blame @hawkeye_official for tapping that.

 _@drharper_  
Omg guys, she knows Thor too! #MysteryGirl

Underneath that tweet was a screenshot of my tweet in New Mexico with Thor’s picture in Izzy’s diner.

 _@rogersgrl107:  
_ That’s probably how she knows them. She’s probably sleeping her way through the team. #MysteryGirl

 _@e_bishop:  
_ Let’s be real. How surprising would it be if @YouKnowWhoIAm was fucking her too? I mean, look at the tits on her. #MysteryGirl

“Darcy, just ignore them,” Pepper said softly.

I shook my head, scrolling down further.

_And I was even trending…_

“What is going on?” Tony asked as he, Jane, Bruce and Steve stepped out of the elevator, all looking various degrees of pissed off and confused, “why are people tweeting me asking if the _‘hashtag mystery girl’_ is Darcy Lewis and if we’re fucking?”

“Because, haven’t you heard?” I said, looking over at them with a twisted grin. “I am the Avengers whore. I’m sleeping with everybody!”

“What?!” Jane dropped down next to me, her phone already in hand. “This is absurd!”

“Welcome to the media, Kid,” Tony said, stepping down into the conversation pit, passing me a glass of scotch which I threw back with a slight wince.

My tablet chimed.

_@hawkeye_official retweeted a photo of you._

I glanced over at Clint who was scrolling through his phone with narrowed eyes. Tapping on the notification I saw that he had tagged me in Allison’s photo and then retweeted it.

_@the_blackwidow retweeted a photo of you._

_@TheAvengersOfficial retweeted a photo of you._

And that was followed by a long string of names who was liking and tweeting that picture.

“This is ridiculous,” Jane huffed, and I reached across, snatching her phone out of her hand before she could post anything.

“I can handle it, Jane,” I said, opening my own new tweet.

 _@darcy_lewis:_  
Three friends are allowed to go shopping together and it doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together.  
#ImNotTheAvengersWhore

I posted that and then retweeted the bookstore photo.

_@hawkeye_official, @the_blackwidow, @pepperpottsCEO, @TheAvengersOfficial, @drjanefoster favourited your tweet._

_@rogersgrl107:  
_ If your not sleeping with them how can you get into the tower??? @darcy_lewis #MysteryGirl

 _@darcy_lewis:  
_ @rogersgrl107 *You’re. And I woke for Stark Industries. I live here along with a lot of other people.

@ _william554:  
_ If you just work there then why are you shopping intimately with them??? @darcy_lewis #MysteryGirl

“What the hell does shopping intimately even mean?” I asked, “they make it sound like we were fucking in the middle of a mall.”

 _@darcy_lewis:  
_ @william554 wtf does “shopping intimately” mean? They’re my friends and co-workers. We went shopping; that’s it.

_@hawkeye_official, @the_blackwidow liked your tweet._

_@drharper:  
_ Is your bio true @darcy_lewis ?

 _@darcy_lewis:  
_ Yes, @drharper I did indeed tase Thor when he first arrived here. Ask him about it. It’s an excellent story.

I locked my tablet, tossing it back onto the coffee table with a slight groan; trying to ignore the steady thumping growing behind my eyes.

“Do the media do this to everybody?” Steve asked, looking over Natasha’s shoulders to read her phone.

“Anybody with a name,” Tony said with a nod, “it’s normally always bullshit.”

“It’s normally always worse if it’s a woman,” Pepper said bitterly, “it’ll be her name that’s dragged through the dirt. Out of all of these tweets, it shames Darcy and Nat. Never Clint. If anything this supports Clint.”

Steve scowled down at the phone for another minute. His face morphing into the ‘Captain America is disappointed in you’ look that had reportedly made grown men cry in shame. He moved across the conversation pit, dropping down on the other side of me.

“Show me how to set up a twitter account?” he said, holding his cell phone out towards me.

I stared at him blankly for a minute before I registered what he said.

“Okay then.”

Ten minutes later Steve had twitter, twenty minutes he was verified and he hit two million followers at twenty-five minutes.

 _@CptSRogers:  
_ The comments made about @darcy_lewis are out of line and should never have been made. She’s a friend and a co-worker. (1)

 _@CptSRogers:  
_ If people, celebrities or not, spend their time together, that is not an excuse for their names to be dragged through social media sites with degrading comments. (2)

 _@CptSRogers:  
_ For the record. Anything that consenting adults do at home in their own time, is never anybody else’s concern. (3)

And with those three tweets, Steve was trending worldwide in seconds. Some people were cheering and some people were saying that Tony Stark had managed to corrupt Captain America. Me, I just smiled.

Sure, I liked to fight my own battles and I certainly didn’t need a guy to stand up for me. But if Steve Rogers wanted to stand up for me… Who was I to say no to Captain America?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Доброе утро - Good Morning (Russian)  
> Утро - Morning (Russian)  
> Dormire bene? - Sleep well? (Italian)  
> Sì. Mi ha fatto in realtà, ho mai svegliato - Yeah. I did actually, I never woke up. (Italian)  
> È parlare italiano? - You speak Italian? (Italian)  
> Wenn ich jemanden erschießen würde, würde der Rest dann gehen?- If I shot one would the rest leave? (German)  
> Ich bezweifle es. - I doubt it. (German)
> 
> What did you think to putting the translations in the actual chapters? Or do you prefer them at the bottom like this?  
> The stream of tweets, Darcy's outfit, tattoos and the asl is all posted on both my Pinterest and Tumblr so be sure to check those out!


	11. An Unexpected Guest and The Captain's Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now please step back or I’ll have to call security. And you do not want to see this buildings security angry!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in celebration of the Civil War trailer I thought I'd post an extra chapter! Don't worry, there will still be one on Monday, but this is a shorter chapter that I kind of wanted separate from the next one which is really long.  
> Also a shout out to Liebekatze for guessing this and for sending me adorable puppy pictures!!  
> And anyone who wants to freak out over the Civil War trailer with me just... It's going to kill me!!!!!  
> Warnings: Mentions/Implied Child Abuse, Mentions/Implied Psychological Abuse and a Mini, almost panic attack.  
>  **Edited: 18th December 2017 _I stopped for Nano, sorry._**

I glared down at my phone where it flashed on the coffee table silently.

Ever since the _#MysteryGirl_ trend my phone had been practically ringing nonstop, a mixture of random people from college and some family members that I hadn’t spoken to in years, all suddenly interested in reaching out and “reconnecting.”

 _“Miss Lewis, there’s a visitor for you in the lobby,”_ Jarvis said, _“he is claiming to be your father.”_

I froze in alarm, scrambling across my couch to snatch up my phone.

_17 Missed Calls – Dad_

_16 Voicemails_

_Voice Mailbox Is Full_

_23 Unread Messages – Dad_

I opened up the messages, scrolling up through the last few.

 _From: Dad;_  
-I’m here to see u  
-They won’t let me up  
-Come & see me

“Jarvis, pull up the footage in the lobby please,” I said my voice weak.

_Please no, please no, please no…_

A holographic screen appeared above the table and my breath caught in my throat at the sight of him. He was standing at the reception desk, arguing with the receptionist and from this angle, I could see her hand hovering under the desk; half way between a Glock and a Panic Button.

I gave an aggravated sigh at the sight of him and before I could second guess myself, I swept across the room and into the elevator. I double checked my pockets, making sure that I had both my taser and my phone; I hit the button for the lobby.

 _“Would you like me to call someone for you?”_ Jarvis asked as I rested my head on the window, fiddling absently with the chain on my thumb splint.

“No. Thank you, Jarvis. I need to do this on my own,” I said, not moving until I heard the soft ping and flash of red light as the elevator stopped.

I stepped out into the lobby, walking forwards until I could see him still arguing with the receptionist whose name I think was Christine.

“She’s my daughter,” he snapped at her, “you can’t stop me seeing her!”

“Sir, I’ve sent a message up but there’s nothing I can do,” Christine said, “now _please,_ step back or I’ll have to call security. And you do _not_ want to see this building's security angry.”

“Listen here—”

“Enough,” I snapped and my voice seemed to carry around the lobby as I stepped forwards. Both Christine and my father looked up at me in surprise. “I’m sorry,” I said, looking to Christine who gave an understanding nod and sat back down. I turned to _him._ “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. I saw you on the TV and on Facebook. You didn’t tell me you were living here,” he said sounding almost hurt; it made me scoff.

“My living arrangements _were_ classified, and even if they weren’t, why would I tell you? I’ve had no contact with you in ten years,” I said, not bothering to lower my voice. A couple of people around us gave us strange looks but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“I’ve been trying to get hold of Jake,” he said.

“Jake’s in Afghanistan,” I said simply, “if you actually gave a damn then you’d know that.”

“Don’t you dare take that tone with me, young lady,” he said, his voice rising and I tensed against my will, “I am your father. You’ll show me some respect!”

_Breathe. Breathe, Darcy._

“Is everything alright here?”

I spun around to see Steve walking towards us, a look of concern on his face as he came to a stop next to me.

“Darcy?” he gave me a worried look, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder.

“Who the hell are you?” my father asked, “this is between me and my daughter. Is this one of the people you’re sleeping with?”

I flinched back, tears burning my eyes. Steve’s hand on my shoulder tightened fractionally, reassuring me of where I was and that I wasn’t alone.

“I’m Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America around here,” Steve said coldly.

My eyes widened in surprise. Steve _never_ pulled the Captain America card.

I watched with a hint of satisfaction as my father’s face paled slightly.

“I was in the lab with Tony and Jarvis told us had been alerted to the lobby,” Steve told me, “are you okay?”

I forced myself to take a deep breath, and nodded but Steve clearly saw the anxiety on my face. He turned back to my father.

“Sir, with all due respect. Darcy is supposed to be working and Mr Stark and Doctor Foster both require her to be doing her job,” Steve said with his _Captain America is disappointed in you_ look.

“Right, yes, of course, Captain.” My father nodded quickly then glanced at the floor and hesitated. “Darcy… what’s wrong with your leg?”

“I got an upgrade,” I said simply.

“You know that I won’t give you money and your mother didn’t exactly leave you much. How are you _affording_ it?” he asked, the tone of his voice clearly suggesting that I was paying for it in some other way than money.

“A clinical trial,” I said through clenched teeth. It was sort of true. “It’s one of a kind. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to stop Stark from blowing up his lab, _again._ Don’t bother coming back.”

Before anyone could say anything else, I turned and all but ran back to the elevator.

Steve stepped in, half a pace behind me, and without a word, he wrapped his arms around me as the doors closed. I pressed my face into his shoulder, sobs wracking through my body.

“It’s okay, Doll. Breathe. You’re safe. He’s gone,” he said gently, his fingers combing through my hair.

I forced myself to take several deep breaths, my fingers curling into Steve’s jacket tightly as I tried to regain my focus.

“Darce, we’re at the labs. Jane wants to see you,” he said and I forced myself to take a step back, my eyes drifting around the elevator. Sure enough, the doors were open and Jane was standing just outside, biting her nails nervously as she watched me.

Steve slung a casual arm around my shoulders, gently guiding me out to stand in front of the astrophysicist who without hesitation, reached forwards and pulled me into her arms.

Stepping away from Steve, I curled my arms around her. Pressing my face into her shoulders I felt tears roll down my cheeks.

“He was here, Jane. My dad was here and I—” I broke off as I tried to swallow a sob.

“It’s okay, he’s gone,” she murmured, rocking me slightly, “you’re safe up here.”

I held her tighter for a moment as I pulled myself together and then I stepped away, drying my eyes.

“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath and plastering a fake grin on my face, “mini freak out over. What are we trying to blow up today?”

“Darcy,” Jane sighed, not even trying to hide the worry in her eyes, “why don’t you take the day off?” Her suggestion was light and full of concern but I scowled at her none the less, wanting nothing more to be distracted by a bunch of mind-boggling math.

“Jane, I’m fine. I just need to be doing something,” I said.

“Then go and do something elsewhere,” she said, already shooing me back towards the elevator, “we can manage for the day.”

“Janey, c’mon—”

“Nope,” she said in her boss voice, “go bake, watch a movie, go to Central Park, I don’t care. Just do something nice and relaxing but stay out of your head. No over thinking things.”

I hesitated, watching as Jane’s face melted from stern to a soft puppy dog expression with wide eyes and a slight pout that made her look adorable. I groaned, glancing over at Steve for help only to find that he’d drifted over to see Tony and they were poking something on the back of Steve’s shield.

With a heavy sigh, I looked back to Jane and conceded, I probably _could_ do with a break.

“Fine, yeah, okay. But if you guys don’t eat lunch, I will come back and shove food down your throats,” I said. I was aiming for it to sound like a threat but I just sounded too tired. Jane grinned and I made sure she could see me rolling my eyes as I turned to leave.

_Stupid scientists and their stupid puppy eyes!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, and I'll be back on Monday!!


	12. Home Baked Goods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We look after what we call our own."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this was going to be longer, but I kinda liked the ending of this chapter.  
> So I screwed up my wrist this weekend so it is taking me twice as long to type everything, but hopefully, I'll still be able to post as usual.  
> Warnings: Mentions and descriptions of Child Abuse and psychological abuse.  
>  **Edited: 18th December 2017**

A couple of hours later I found myself in the Common Area’s kitchen. I pulled myself up to kneel on one of the counters, digging through the cupboard for a bottle of vanilla extract that Jarvis had assured me was in there.

“Aha!” I cried, snatching the small bottle from the back, then cursing as my elbow hit a jar of peanut butter that someone had left on the very edge of the shelf. I winced, waiting for it to smash but a warm chuckle and no crash later, my head whipped around.

A tall, brown-skinned man, dressed in a high ranking US Airforce uniform was standing in front of me, setting the fallen jar on the counter with a smile.

“Are you alright, ma’am?” he asked, an amused glint in his eye as he held out a hand to help me down.

“Er, yeah. Thank you,” I said, taking his hand as I twisted around and hopped down to the floor. To his credit, the man’s eyes only briefly flicked down to my shining leg as I moved before he looked straight back up at my face.

“Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes,” he said, “but people ‘round here tend to just call me Rhodey.”

“Darcy Lewis,” I responded, shaking his hand with a slight nod, my eyes flicking down to his impressive collection of medals.

“Did you serve?” he asked, a gentle curiosity in his tone, “everyone around here seems to have served in one way or another, and if they haven’t then they’re a genius.”

My lips quirked at his description of the tower's residents and shook my head. “They took my leg before I could enlist,” I said, “and not really a genius, just a genius’ assistant. My brother is currently in Afghanistan though. I got an email at 3 am from him and a friend demanding cookies ASAP.” I gestured behind me to the array of baking ingredients scattered across the counter.

Rhodey laughed. “Home baked goods always brighten the mood,” he said, “I’ll leave you to it. I’ve got to go and see Tony, make sure he doesn’t do anything too stupid this week.”

“Tony? Do something stupid?” I laughed, “I have _no idea_ what you mean!”

Rhodey rolled his eyes as he headed towards the elevator, throwing a casual wave back over his shoulder.

I hadn’t baked anything in a while but the recipe was simple enough to remember. I made two dozen chocolate chip cookies and another two dozen brownies. Setting them aside to box up before making another three dozen of each to keep here.

“Something smells good,” Clint said making me jump, dropping the tray I’d just pulled out of the oven onto the counter with a small yelp. I whipped my head around as he slid out of the vent to sit on top of the fridge.

“Jesus Christ, Clint!” I snapped, throwing a wet dishcloth that I’d been wiping the counter down with at him. “Don’t fucking do that!”

He snatched the cloth out of the air with ease, wrinkling his nose as it dripped on his leg, he tossed it back in the sink and dropped down to the floor.

“They’re hot!” I snapped, swatting his hands away from the brownies that he’d just watched me take out of the oven and he pouted like a toddler. I sighed. “Those aren’t,” I added slightly softer, nodding to the plate of cookies from the last batch.

Clint reached out, snatching a cookie off of the plate, shoving it unceremoniously into his mouth.

“These are good,” he said and I pulled a disgusted face as bits of cookie fell out of his mouth, “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“I had to,” I said casually with a shrug, turning back to slice up the brownies and set them on a plate. “My dad never knew the difference between a frying pan and a saucepan and I was the woman so… it was expected. Jake can cook better actual food than me though. I do the deserts.” I faltered slightly, looking down at my hands as I set the last brownie on the stack with more concentration than needed. “I don’t know why I just told you that…” I murmured.

“Your dad sounds like a dick,” Natasha said casually as she strolled into the room, apparently having taken the elevator like a normal person.

“No arguments here,” I muttered, too low for either of them to actually hear.

“Here, try these,” Clint said, practically shoving the plate of cookies towards Natasha.

“These are good, Малютка,” she said after taking an experimental bite. I blushed, giving her a small smile in thanks. “Так почему мы говорим о вашей мудак из папа?”  _So, why are we talking about your asshole of a dad?_

I scrunched up my face in confusion. “Мудак?” I asked, trying to replicate the pronunciation.

“M— _u_ —dak,” Clint corrected lightly.

“M _u_ dak,” I repeated and he nodded.

“Asshole,” Natasha translated eloquently and I snorted slightly. “So, why are we talking about it?”

“Clint asked a question,” I said with a shrug, leaning back against the counter.

“Actually,” he interjected, holding up a finger. “I said, ‘I didn’t know you could cook,’ I never actually asked a question; you just told me.”

I froze. Realisation sinking in. I never really spoke about my father. Jane knew that I didn’t like him, Steve saw what happened the other day, while Clint and Coulson had just been told that we didn’t get along that well. The only people who knew what had happened was Jake, Chelsea, Mike and a couple of people from JBLM.

“You don’t talk about your family that much,” Natasha observed gently.

I shrugged. “My mom died just after I moved to New Mexico; Cancer. You’ve met my brother and Chelsea. Mom’s parents are dead when I was nine and nineteen, holocaust survivors and badasses. And my father finally disowned me when I was sixteen, taking the rest of my family with him,” I said bluntly, twisting my ring splints as I spoke, blatantly skipping over the fact that he turned up here yesterday.

“What was he like?” Natasha asked.

My eyes fixed on my fingers, I sighed. “He was alright, for years. Well, I thought he was at least. I mean, kids are naïve. They adore their parents despite everything, they listen to them, trust them, forgive them, no matter what. Because they’re your parents and that’s what you do. But he was a selfish man. He used my brother and me, time and time again and for years we let him. He always made it seem okay like he was doing it for our own good,” I said, a tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away and I don’t know why, but I carried on.

“When—when I was twelve, I was terrified of men and something happened to my Zayde, I don’t remember what and I had to stay with my father for a couple of weeks. I was so scared to be on my own with him but I didn’t have a choice. I think he was trying to snap me out of it, I don’t think he was _actually trying_ to hurt me.

“His belt, his hands, threats, a backhand…. Only when I was having a panic attack or flashbacks. My mom came to pick me up when we were in the middle of an argument, he was yelling. Gods, my family ran on yelling. That day I became ‘a selfish bitch… a worthless piece of shit who had no right to step under his roof until I’d sorted out my attitude.’” I choked back a humourless laugh.

“And I’ve never stepped foot under his roof again. When I came out a few years later, he said he was okay with it but… Catholic family like that, it just gave them all another reason to believe him over me.

“Then when I was sixteen and left school. He—he finally snapped. I didn’t speak to him for months, and I was okay with that, but one day I saw my Nan and Uncle in the mall. God, did they scream. My dad had told them I’d stolen stuff while I’d lived with them. He told them I was faking my disability and that there was nothing wrong with my leg, that I was doing it all for attention, that it was my fault what happened in the woods… After that, we cut contact. He’s tried to get in touch a few times since, sent gifts and that, but we’ve always sent it right back,” I finished softly.

“You’re dad’s an asshole,” Natasha repeated bluntly.

“Still, no arguments here,” I said again, squeezing my hands into fists tightly, letting my nails dig into my palms, trying to stop my hands from shaking, trying to stop the memories coming back.

Clint reached towards me and I flinched back against my will.

“Um Gotten willen! I’m sorry,” I said, the German slipping out before I could stop it. Clint reached towards me again, slower this time, gently drawing me into his arms and I pressed my face into his collarbone, breathing in the smell of bow oil, gunpowder and safety. _For God's sake!_

_I’m in the tower. I’m safe. Nobody here is going to hurt me. I’m safe._

“It’s okay,” Clint said, rubbing soothing circles on my back as I took several deep breaths. “You don’t have to apologise, Cookie. Thank you for telling us.”

“I’ve never told anybody that before,” I mumbled, looking up at Natasha, resting my chin on his shoulder. Natasha stepped forwards as Clint let me go.

“I know what it’s like,” she said, “to feel suddenly safe after years of only trusting a small number of people. But I promise you Maлютка, you are safe here and we—” She gestured from herself to Clint. “—we look after what we call her own.”

Tears stung my eyes at the sincerity in her words and I couldn’t stop them as they ran down my face.

Natasha reached out, cupping my cheek with one hand and using her knuckles to brush away my tears with a soft smile before drawing me into a gentle hug.

“You don’t have to talk to us. But if you want to, or need to, then you can. And if you don’t want to talk, then we’ll shoot, or spar, or train, whatever you need,” she said, stroking her hand through my hair. “We’re here.”

I opened my mouth to say something, anything but all I could do was sob as she held me close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you thinking Tasha's out of character, she's a spy. She can play any part she wants, from a Military sniper, to a sweet comforting friend and she will ace both because she's amazing at everything!!  
> Good? Bad? Never write again?  
> Be sure to check out my Pinterest and Tumblr for pictures!


	13. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Having emotions never makes you weak. They make you stronger. They give you a reason to keep getting up. To keep fighting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! This week has just been chaos, so I hope this chapter is alright, because I haven't had as much time to re read it.  
> Warnings: There is talk of Child abuse, Rape of a minor and lots of self-doubt. Nothing is graphic, but be warned it is there!  
>  **Edited: 19th January 2018**

After several cookies and an energy drink Natasha all but dragged me back to my apartment, demanding that I changed into something more practical before pulling me down to the gym, whilst not so subtly making it clear that Clint wasn’t invited. Clint just rolled his eyes and pulled himself up into the vents and I had no doubt that he’d be in his nest in the gym.

“I spoke to Charlotte,” she said as we stepped up onto the mats, “she said you can start working out, or kickboxing again, maybe even light dance as long as you don’t overdo it.” I looked over at her, my lips parting in surprise. “So, if you want, we can see what your new leg can do.”

I hesitated slightly before my lips curled up into a soft smile and nodded.

We moved around the gym, testing endurance points, Nat said. I lifted weights, did sit ups, press ups, pull ups, stretches, jogging.

“You doing okay?” she asked as I sat down on the mat, stretching forward to touch my toes.

“It feels fine,” I said, wiping the sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand. “It feels better than fine.”

Natasha studied me for a second, as if searching for any hint that I was lying or exaggerating, when finding nothing, or at least knowing that if I overdid, it would be my fault that I would regret it in the morning.

“You wanna try and kick something?” she asked and I nodded, letting her pull me up to my feet.

We went through some basic kicks and twists. Testing my range of movement without strain.

“That’s enough for the day,” she said finally and I opened my mouth to argue but she cut me off with a sharp look, “if you can’t get out of bed tomorrow because you’ve pushed yourself too far, I will shut you out of the gym for a fortnight. That patience you had when you learnt to dance, to fire a gun and learnt to walk again. You’re gonna need that same patience to learn to fight again. You need to remember that. I will teach you Russian, teach you to take a man down with your thighs if that’s what you want; to make your weaknesses your strengths.

“But that can’t happen overnight, Малютка, it’s going to take time but I can’t guarantee that it will be worth it,” she said, “now go shower, rest and be back here in the morning.”

I nodded, pushing myself away from the table I was leaning against, I moved across the room, hesitating in the doorway I turned back to look over my shoulder, drumming my fingers on the doorframe.

“Thanks,” I said softly.

Natasha lowered her water bottle, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and nodded. “Get some rest and if you can’t do tomorrow, I’m here every morning from five.”

I gave a grateful smile, trying not to make it obvious that I was leaning on the doorframe for support as I moved out of the room and stumbled towards and up the stairs.

When I got back into my apartment I headed straight for the shower, falling heavily against the bench as the water cascaded down on top of me. Looking down at my leg I smiled softly, tracing my fingers over the scars and the edges of the metal.

I could walk, run and even go to the gym again. Things were finally starting to look up.

.

As it turned out, Natasha was right. I had overdone it. I spent the next three days tending to sore muscles and the delightful feeling of having no spoons left to use. On the morning of the fourth day, I woke by Jarvis’ alarm and with slightly more energy than previous three days, I pushed myself out of bed, into some workout clothes and downstairs to the gym that was empty except for Natasha sitting in the middle of one of the sparring mats, her legs apart, her nose against one of her knees.

At the sound of my footsteps, she looked up, her lips curling into a soft smile.

“Good morning,” she said, “feeling better?”

I nodded, dropping my water bottle on the table and sitting down opposite her, wincing as the muscles in my leg and arms pulled.

“Sore?” she asked.

I shrugged, copying her pose. “A little,” I admitted, “it’s been a while.”

“We’ll keep it light,” she said.

A half an hour later and I was questioning Natasha’s definition of light as I dodged her fist, forcing my body to the side as I aimed a kick at her side that she ducked under easily, flipping around and knocking out my legs in one clean motion. Before I had a chance to recover Natasha was on top of me, her weight resting on my stomach as she pinned my hands above my head.

I tensed in her grip at the feeling of her breath on my face and her fingers around my wrist caused a sudden and intense wave of anxiety to wash through me and twist in my gut.

Noticing the change in my demeanour, Natasha let go of me instantly. Twisting to the side to roll up to her feet, giving me some space.

I pushed away the memories that flashed through my mind and after taking several deep breaths, I pushed myself up to my feet, shaking out my hands before stepping up opposite her, falling into position easily.

Natasha didn’t say anything, just copied my pose, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waited for me to make the first move.

“I was raped,” I said suddenly, breaking the silence several minutes later as I ducked under Natasha’s kick. “That’s what happened when I was twelve, in the woods that I’m not good at talking about. That’s what my dad threw in my face every time we argued. It’s why I was scared to leave my house. I was, am, terrified to let men touch me, to let them get close to me.”

An expression that I couldn’t read flickered across Natasha’s face but when she didn’t say anything I went on.

“It’s stupid,” I said, throwing a punch towards her face that she blocked easily. “When you look at the people living here. I’m safe. I’ve had it easy. I mean Tony was tortured for months in a cave and then he _literally died!_ Steve fought in World War Two and woke up to a completely new world, everyone he knew either dead or decades older, having lived their lives. You and Clint see life time’s worth of horror every time you go out on mission. It’s just so stupid of me and wea—” I broke off as Natasha’s elbow hit the side of my face, making me stumble backwards. It was nowhere near full force, but it still hurt.

“Pain isn’t a competition, Малютка. It never is,” she said simply as I swung my metal leg around, narrowly missing her jaw as she bent backwards. “We’ve all been hurt and we’ve all seen things we wish we could un-see. But that doesn’t make you weak. Having emotions never makes you weak. They make you stronger. They give you a reason to keep getting up. To keep fighting.”

She punctuated her words by dropping down, sweeping my legs out from under me in one smooth motion and I hit the mat with a thud.

She gave me a hard look before stepping back to grab her water bottle, rubbing one of the sweatbands on her wrist with a faraway look in her eyes.

We sparred on and off for a while, going over moves again and again until I could perfect them. The clock on the wall indicated that we’d been at it for nearly an hour when Clint swung out of the vent, flipping backwards through the air before dropping to the floor and rolling up to his feet with perfect grace.

In the second that I paused to watch him, Natasha wrapped a leg around mine and her arm around my throat and I sagged back against her with a noise of protest.

“Aw, c’mon,” I whined, tapping against her forearm twice making her drop her hold instantly, letting me step away. “That has to be cheating.”

“Always be aware of your surroundings but don’t let them distract you,” Clint said in his sterner ‘Agent Barton’ voice as he strolled over.

“Says the super-secret spy like it’s easy,” I grumbled, snatching the tape off of the table, to toss half-heartedly at the back of his head. I saw Natasha’s eyebrow twitch slightly before Clint twisted around dramatically, grabbing the roll of tape out of the air without even looking at it. I rolled my eyes. “Show off,” I stated, catching the tape as he threw it back, dropping it back down on the table, reaching for my water bottle.

“Yup,” he said proudly, popping the ‘p’. “And I’m an assassin, Babe. Tasha’s the spy.”

I pulled a face. “I feel like I should be disapproving or at least have concerns about that but… I just don’t,” I said and Clint shrugged, dropping a casual kiss on my cheek as he pushed himself up onto the table next to me.

“Gotta pay the rent,” he said as if he wasn’t living in a skyscraper in Manhattan, while working for a big government agency and currently in the every gossip column out there for being an actual superhero.

Natasha rolled her eyes as she started going through some light stretches. “What did you come out of your next for?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Clint said getting back on topic. “Maria’s coming over in a bit and Tony’s ordering Shawarma and demanding everyone’s presence.”

“Maria?” I raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Commander Maria Hill,” he clarified, “Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Oh,” I said, finally placing why the name sounded familiar.

“What is it?” Natasha asked.

“It’s nothing,” I said with a shake of my head, “it was an Agent Maria Hill that I spoke to after New York. She… told me what happened.” _She was the one who told me about Coulson._

Clint visibly winced before shaking his head slightly. “Hill’s alright,” he said, “I just don’t advice getting on her bad side.”

“She’s fine,” Natasha said with a fond roll of her eyes. “Now, in the meantime. It’d do you good to spar with someone else, especially someone with a different fighting style if you still have some energy left.” She nodded in Clint’s direction and I hesitated for a moment.

As much as I trusted Clint, it was still something—

_Wait, what? I trusted him? That was new. But it did make sense. I’d let myself be alone with Clint. I’d let Steve comfort me. I’d let Tony give me an actual limb._

I actually did trust these people.

I gave a choked laugh. Grinning at the two Agents who were giving me weird looks and I realised I’d just zoned out of a conversation and had just started laughing at myself.

I shrugged it off, setting my water bottle back down as I pushed myself away from the table, turning to look at Clint.

“C’mon then, Robin Hood,” I said, “let’s see what you’ve got.”

Clint gave an easy grin. Toeing off his shoes as his shoes and socks, tossing his jacket over the edge of the table before coming to join me on the mats.

Somehow, as we sparred, I realised that dodging Clint’s blows were different than dodging the blows of the men in my life that I was used to.

Maybe it was Natasha, calling out tips from where she was sitting on top of the parallel bars, swinging her legs happily, perfectly balanced. Or maybe it was Clint teasing, yet never mocking me, and his hits were never in a way that made me remember.

Or they weren’t, until they were. He grabbed my arm, twisting me around, pulling me back against his chest, my arms trapped at my sides.

Trapped.

I froze. My breath catching in my throat as the room around me seemed to tilt and I was sure if Clint wasn’t holding me upright I would have fallen over.

“Darcy?”

Someone was calling my name.

But they were so far away.

It sounded like Natasha.

Why was Natasha calling my—

Oh.

“Open your eyes and focus Darcy!”

My eyes snapped open and I struggled in Clint’s arms for a moment as I got my bearings back. Natasha was standing in front of me, a firm, but somehow reassuring look on her face.

“Focus,” she said evenly. “Focus on positioning and balance. Now. How do you get yourself out?”

“I don’t know. I don’t—” I broke off, my breath catching in my throat as the side of my foot hit Clint’s and I paused, my eyes darting over to the table where his shoes lay but still I hesitated.

Natasha’s lips quirked and she stepped back out of the way with a slight incline of her head. “You’re not going to hurt him,” she assured me.

Taking a steadying breath, I dug my metal heel into his toes. His grip loosened slightly in surprise or pain but I didn’t stop to analyse. Instead, I wrenched my arm back, slamming my elbow into his gut and he grunted. Old muscle memory or instinct, whatever it was. I twisted my leg behind his gripping his arm tightly in a way that I hadn’t grabbed anyone in years. Not since I learnt to…

“Now what?” Natasha prompted.

Before I could second guess myself, I twisted his arm, using his weight to my advantage as I leant forward, flipping him over my shoulder, letting him hit the mat with a hard thud.

“Yeah,” Natasha laughed, stepping forward to look down at him. “That’s exactly what you should do. Isn’t that right, Clint?”

Clint groaned slightly, letting Natasha pull him back up to his feet.

“Not bad Cookie,” he said, rolling his shoulder out from where I’d twisted it. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

I shook out my arms with a scoff. _“I_ didn’t know I could still do that,” I said with a slight laugh. “I’ve not done that in years.”

 _“Miss Lewis, Doctor Foster would like to know if you’re coming into work today as you have left your apartment.”_ Jarvis interrupted and I looked up at the clock and swore.

I was late.

I pulled on my hoodie, shoving my cell and splints into my pockets to sort out later. “Tell her not to blow anything up in the next half an hour and I’ll bring them all breakfast but she better not expect me to do any heavy lifting because spysassin one and two have turned my arms to jelly,” I said, shoving my feet back into my sneakers as I grabbed my bottle.

_“Certainly.”_

“See ya later, Cookie,” Clint said and I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

“Have fun with Stark,” Natasha added with a faux-sympathetic smile.

I threw a wave over my shoulder as I shook my head, walking out of the door and towards the stairs.

_Here goes another day in the Avengers Tower._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People with Darcy's condition can rarely do what Darcy was doing in the gym, so if you have EDS, or HSD please don't go out to the gym and overdo it. Get a trainer, go to Physio. Just don't do what happens in this fic. This is fiction. It's not totally accurate.


	14. Pool, Physicist's Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What makes you think you’re better than me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter Warnings:** Mentions of nightmares and the Holocaust in the last part of the chapter, nothing descriptive but you can skip it if you want.  
>  **Edited:** 21st January 2018

I managed to drag Jane out of the lab and shove her in the general direction of a shower a half an hour before Tony was demanding our presence in the Common Area. But she appeared from her apartment nearly forty minutes later, her hair washed and even dried with clean clothes, looking less like a zombie so we took the stairs up to the Common Area, hesitating at the edge of the group as Pepper hugged an unfamiliar brunette.

As they pulled apart they turned to us.

“Darcy, Jane! This is Agent Maria Hill. Maria this is Doctor Jane Foster and her assistant Darcy Lewis,” Pepper introduced.

Maria’s eyes lingered on me for a moment longer. “We’ve spoken before I believe,” she said, her voice sombre.

I nodded. “It’s nice to put a face to the name,” I said. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Nodding to Clint and Natasha who were sitting in the conversation pit bickering in… Korean?

Maria rolled her eyes fondly at them.

“Likewise,” she said, and we all moved down to join them. Maria’s eye’s flickered briefly down to my leg as I sat down before accepting a glass of wine from Pepper who then handed me and Jane a beer each.

“So, Pepper tells me Clint and Nat have been training you,” Maria said conversationally, “They don’t just train anyone, you know. They have a very strong reputation for only training the best.”

I gave a slight shrug, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

“I’m not that good,” I said. “Ow!” I cried as a cushion smashed into the side of my head and I had to quickly balance my bottle before I spilt beer everywhere.

“Стоп сомневатьоя себя, Малютка,” Natasha said sternly and I looked across at her with a scowl, throwing the cushion back at her. My look darkening as she caught it effortlessly and tucked it back behind her head. _Stop doubting yourself._

“Стоп прослушивания,” I retorted, turning pointedly back to Maria who was watching me with a curious expression. _Stop eavesdropping._

“I mean it,” she said, “Barton trained Bobbi—”

“I didn’t exactly train her,” Clint cut in.

“You kinda did.” Natasha shrugged, ignoring Clint’s scowl.

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” he muttered.

“And Coulson spoke very highly of you,” Maria finished softly as if she hadn’t been interrupted and her gentle words stopped the partners bickering instantly. A sombre silence fell across the room, as it always did, at the mention of Coulson’s name and I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly finding the peeling label on my beer bottle very interesting.

Coulson wouldn’t speak highly of someone unless they were important and I had no doubt that Maria would never lie just to make them feel good.

“Stop scaring the kid, Hill,” Tony said, wandering over with a rather full glass of scotch.

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot that it’s your job to terrify people,” she said, looking up at him with a sweet smile. “Did you know after you were on the hellicarrier, six Agents handed in their resignations?” She raised an accusing eyebrow.

Tony just shrugged as he took a seat, throwing his feet up on the coffee table casually. “Then you should be thanking me for getting rid of the weak ones,” he said, “if they couldn’t handle me then what would they do when they come face to face with the Russian Mob?”

“I’d rather take the Russian Mob,” Natasha, Clint and Maria all said in unison and I snorted as Tony glared, mumbling something into his scotch darkly.

.

Jarvis ordered us Shawarma, which wasn’t as nice as I thought it would be after all the hype it got in the tower. But I ate it nonetheless and afterwards we moved down to the entertainment floor where Tony was trying and failing, to beat Clint at pool.

“He’s not going to beat him is he?” I asked, watching as Tony ungracefully lost for the third time in the row.

“Doubt it,” Maria said, leaning back against the table I was sitting on, “he’s a carnie, he knows how to play a table. Not many people know how to beat that.”

“I could,” Jane said casually from where she was sitting on a chair next to me, a little bit tipsy with her feet in my lap.

Tony scoffed. “What makes you think you’re better than me?” he asked and my lips curled up into an amused smirk.

“Oh, this is gonna be fun,” I muttered, moving my arms out of the way as Jane dropped her feet to the floor with a loud thud.

_Nobody beats Jane at pool._

“Because I, unlike some people, actually think things through before I do them,” Jane said with a cocky smirk of her own.

Tony gave a mildly affronted look before waving his arms in a ‘let’s see then’ gesture.

“C’mon then, Foster,” Clint said as he finished resetting the table. “If you think you can take me. I’ll even let you break.”

Jane rose to her feet, snatching the cue out of Tony’s hand as she moved over to the table.

Watching Jane play pool, especially against cocky men, was always fun. She moved swiftly, without hesitation, as though what she was doing was effortless when in fact between each turn she was running twenty different calculations through her head before making her shot.

Clint’s grin slipped away after Jane’s second go when she potted her third, fourth and fifth ball in quick succession.

I outright laughed at Tony’s scowl and everyone else’s looks of disbelief as Jane pocketed the black ball with all but one of Clint’s still on the table.

“How?” Tony demanded as Jane shoved the cue back into his hands on her way back to our table, which she hopped up onto to sit next to me. Steeling the bottle from my hand to take a swig of my beer without asking.

“It’s simple math.” She shrugged as if it were the easiest thing in the world as she passed me back my bottle. “You calculate the angles and measure the distance from the cue ball to the ball and the ball to the pocket, then that helps you to work out the amount of force needed to get the ball into the pocket without using too much power. Then see if there’s any other possibilities, run them through the same tests and take whichever shot has the highest probability of going in.”

Even in her tipsy state, Jane made everyone else around her feel like their IQ was in the single digits.

“It’s not possible to do all of that in just a few seconds,” Tony said with a gaping, yet slightly proud expression and even Betty and Bruce looked slightly baffled.

Jane smirked and offered him a one-shouldered shrug. “I guess I’m just that good.”

After that the party winded down into mostly expensive alcohol-induced idiocy which involved Clint doing one-handed cartwheels over tables with a shot glass full of vodka in the other hand without spilling a drop and Tony listing the parts needed to build an Iron Man suit in a mixture of Italian and Japanese just because he could and I really hope Jarvis recorded that all, because I had no doubt that I would remember none of it in the morning.

.

A short scream tore through my lips as I bolted upright in bed, my sheets tangled around me as I snatched up my knife and glasses in a well-practiced move.

 _“Miss Lewis, you’re safe. You’re in the Avengers Tower, in your room,”_ Jarvis said softly as the lights came up to a dim setting and I forced myself to take several deep breaths.

I sagged back against my pillows for a brief moment, tossing my knife back on the nightstand before I pushed myself up and out of bed, ignoring the steadying hammering in the back of my skull that served as a reminder of the night before.

I changed into a loose tank top and sports leggings, pulling my hair up into a ponytail and pulling on my sneakers.

“J, what time is it?” I asked as I pulled on a black and purple hoodie that I’d stolen from Clint at some point, shoving my cell phone and knife into the pockets.

 _“It’s three, forty-nine am,”_ Jarvis said.

Huh.

Earlier than I thought.

I moved into the kitchen, taking my meds and downing a large glass of water to try and wake myself up and get rid of the hangover before I headed out and towards the stairs.

Once I got down to the floor of the gym, I hesitated in the doorway, surprised to find that I wasn’t the only person up this early.

Steve was punching a bag that was pulling dangerously on the chain and with a sharp left hook, the chain finally snapped, sending the bag flying through the air, hitting the wall before falling to the floor with three other broken bags.

I leant against the doorframe, watching him attach another bag and start his next round.

“Now, what did that bag ever do to you, Soldier?” I asked. Steve’s head whipped around in alarm and I raised an eyebrow in surprise, I’d assumed he’d heard me come in and was just ignoring me, but apparently not. “Couldn’t sleep, huh?” I asked, moving into the room. I set my water bottle and the contents of my pockets on the table and stepped onto the mats to start stretching.

“How could you tell?” he asked.

“Because you’re awake.”

Steve snorted slightly, focussing on adjusting the wraps on his hands for a moment and I took that time to let my eyes drift around the room, settling on his shield that was propped up against a rack of weights nearby.

“Wanna talk about it?” I asked casually, leaning forward to press my nose against on my knees, barely even noticing the stretch on the back of my leg.

Steve gave a slight shrug. “Just the war,” he said, “old missions, places, people…” he trailed off with a shake of his head.

“What was it like?” I asked softly, curiosity getting the better of me. “The forties, I mean. My grandparents spent most of the forties in a camp in Germany, they got taken from their homes in ’39, taken to Germany. You, the 107th, they liberated the camp in ’45 with the Soviets but my grandparents never spoke about it. They just pretended that that decade never happened. I don’t blame them really.”

“It was war,” Steve said simply but heavily. “Everybody knew of someone who’d gone to war and got a letter and a footlocker home. The entire world was running on fear and the instinct to survive, knowing that tomorrow might never come and a lot of people accepted that. People weren’t letting fear control them. They were living their lives. Prejudices seemed unimportant, a lot were pushed aside for a while, people had more important things to worry about. Countries were standing together. Allied on one side or another. It brought out the best in people—” He inclined his head slightly, his eyes were fixed on the floor, a faraway look in his eyes as he spoke. “—and the worst…

“None of the men or women that enlisted… None of them went home the same.”

“They never do,” I said, my mind drifting back to the people at JBLM. The neighbours you’d hear yelling in the night after they got back from a tour. The hollow, empty looks in their eyes as you passed them in the streets. The way they’d flinch and duck for cover as a car backfired blocks away.

“What about you?” Steve asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Wanna talk about it?”

I shrugged slightly, putting my legs out in front of me, reaching forward to touch my toes.

“Just old memories,” I said vaguely. “Things have been really good recently. Better than good. But whenever things get good, they never last. They always get bad again,” I found myself telling him.

“You can’t be sure of that,” Steve said gently and I almost laughed.

“Yes I can,” I said shaking my head. “I was just getting somewhere and they took my leg. I learnt to walk again, got a place with Jane, started to feel normal and my mom died. Every time I’m happy, or start to feel good about something, something bad _always_ happens.”

“My Ma used to tell me that God granted happiness to those who deserved it. Bucky—” Steve faltered slightly. “—Bucky used to say that that was a load o’ shit and that things would always find a balance. That a person who’d have a lifetime of pain would find happiness, it just might take ‘em some time. Maybe that’s what this is, Darcy, you finding happiness.”

A part of me wanted to laugh at his optimism but the other part of me found a strange comforting warmth in the theory.

Looking up at him I managed to smile softly. “Maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but I've always had the headcanon that Jane would be really awesome at pool, and Clint knows all the ways to win from his days in the Circus, also that's where he gets the acrobatics from!  
> As for Bobbi and Clint, I'm putting it so they were married for about a year BEFORE she knew Hunter, when he'd just started SHIELD.  
> I'm saying this now. I'm sorry for the next chapter. I'm so sorry, it had to happen... Don't hate me next week!


	15. He Was Gone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Baruch dayan emet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so yeah... I'm still sorry!  
> Warnings: Mentions of Child Abuse, Physiological Abuse, Character Death, Military Death, Grief, Military Funeral... I'm sorry.  
>  **Edited: 23rd December 2016**

Steve was wrong. I just didn’t realise it for another six weeks, four days and sixteen hours.

I’d managed to drag Jane out of the labs for another one of Tony’s “Team Nights” which everyone seemed to translate as “Pick on Darcy Night.”

“I’m going to kill you,” I said through my laughter, picking popcorn cornels out of my hair. Tossing two cushions, one at Clint and the other at Steve.

“Aw, c’mon! Don’t be like that Cookie,” Clint teased as he and Steve caught the cushions easily, throwing them back, without reflexes like theirs; they hit me in the face.

I grunted as I let them knock me to the side, falling into Tasha who laughed, her fingers drifting over my side where my shirt had ridden up. I squirmed away with an involuntary laugh.

“I hate you all,” I muttered, burying my face in the couch cushions.

“Уто бы вы говорите, Маютка,” Tasha said, amusement clear in her voice. _Whatever you say, Little One._

 _“Miss Lewis, you have some visitors,”_ Jarvis announced. My head shot up as I looked up at the ceiling in confusion.

“Who?” I asked sharply, brushing my tangled hair away from my face.

 _“A Master Sergeant Iain Richards and a Staff Sergeant Mike Davidson. Would you like me to send them up?”_ My eyes widened. _They weren’t due back for another month._

“Let them up,” I whispered, dread forming in the pit of my stomach. I pulled away from Nat, scrambling over the back of the couch to stand in front of the elevator. My fingers clutching the chain around my neck.

The doors slid open and I gave a small gasp at the sight. They were both in full dress uniform.

“Mike?” I asked, my voice weak. His right arm was in a sling, bandages sticking out from under his collar. A grim look in his eyes.

“Mike?” I asked again, realisation washing over me. “No. No. Where is he?” 

“I’m so sorry Darce.” His face screwed up in pain.

“Miss Lewis, I regret to inform you that your brother, Staff Sergeant Jacob Lewis, was killed in action,” Richards said, his own eyes glassy. “On behalf of the U.S. Army, I’d like to offer you our condolences.”

“No, no, no!” A sob tore through my voice. Mike stepped forward, slowly reaching out, his good arm going around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest. “He is _not_ dead! Where is he?” I sobbed. Mike pressed something into the palm of my hands and I looked down at the metal dog tags.

“He saved my life, Darce. I tried. He dragged me outta there, but he lost too much blood. I’m sorry. I told him not to come. I tried to save him.” Mike’s voice broke and I felt his own tears drip down into my hair. I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. I just sobbed, clutching at his jacket.

_My big brother was gone. He was dead. There was nothing I could do. He was all the family I had left and now he was gone!_

.

I don’t know how long we stood there, I didn’t care. But when I finally pulled away enough to look down at the dog tags, turning them over in my hands, my thumb brushing over his name.

“He told me to give these to you,” Mike said, trying to discreetly wipe his eyes.

“Darcy.” I looked up at Iain as he spoke. “Your brother was one of the best,” He said. “I’m sorry.”

Another tear dripped down my face as I reached up to hug him.

“Jake loved you,” He said. I scrunched up my eyes tightly, taking a deep, steadying breath.

“You too. You were like a father to him,” I said. Clutching him for a second before pulling away, trying to wipe my eyes.

“What about Chelsea?” I asked.

“She didn’t know if you wanted to see her,” Mike said. I looked up at him in confusion. “She’s at a hotel a couple of blocks away.”

“I need to go see her,” I said, trying to step into the elevator but Iain caught my arm.

“I’ll go get her. Bring her here,” He said. I gave a slight nod as he stepped back into the elevator, watching as the doors closed. With a sigh I turned back to the rest of the room.

Steve and Jane were stood slightly behind me. Jane had silent tears running down her face.

Clint was standing several feet behind them, looking at me, his hands buried deep in his pockets, with a grim look on his face.

Everyone else was still standing in the conversation pit. Tasha, Betty and Bruce had their heads slightly bowed. While Tony, his arm around Pepper’s shoulder, was looking over towards the bar. He looked over at me, his eyes flicking to Mike, he gave a slight nod and I gave another slight nod in thanks.

“Stay?” I asked quietly, turning back to Mike. My voice hoarse and cracked. “Stay for a drink. It’s what he would have wanted. We should wait until Chelsea gets here.”

Mike nodded slightly.

Steve and Jane both stepped forwards. Steve reached out and I let him draw me into his chest and I saw Jane move to hug Mike.

“I’m so sorry Doll,” He said and I sniffed slightly. Determined not to cry again. He let me go, stepping around me to shake Mike’s hand as I practically threw myself at Jane.

She wrapped her arms around me tightly, rocking slightly.

“I’m sorry,” Was all she whispered, I sighed. I was going to be hearing that a lot in the next few weeks.

I jumped slightly at a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Clint. Jane squeezed my arm slightly, letting me turn to Clint who practically picked me up as I buried my head in his shoulder.

“I won’t say sorry,” He muttered, to quiet for anyone else to hear. “But I get it. If you wanna talk,” He said as he put me down, brushing my hair back behind my ear.

 _Thank you._ I signed.

Turning back to Mike, I tugged him forward slightly.

“Mike, there’s some people I’d like you to meet. Captain Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes, Natasha Romanoff, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner and Betty Ross,” I said going around the room. “Guys, this is Staff Sergeant Mike Davidson. He was my brother’s best friend, they served together." My voice shook slightly.

I lead Mike over to the conversation pit, where Tony reached out, squeezing my shoulder slightly.

“I’m sorry Kiddo,” He said quietly.

“Thank you,” I said, reaching out to hug him. “For letting me go and see him off.” If Tony hadn’t let us use the Quinjet, the last time I would have seen my brother would have been at my mom’s funeral.

He didn’t say anything. Pepper squeezed my hand as I pulled away while she, Bruce, Betty and Rhodey offered their quiet condolences.

I sat back down next to Nat, Mike next to me, she reached out letting me lean into her side for a minute. She, like Clint, didn’t say she was sorry and I was grateful.

“If you wanna get drunk, or spar, or talk,” She said too low for anyone else to hear. “I’m here.”

I turned away, trying to wipe away my tears, stilling as she gently took my arm.

“It’s okay to cry,” She said softly, with a sad smile.

She and Clint shifted down the couch as Steve sat between us, letting me lean into his side as I fiddled with the dog tags.

 _LEWIS_  
JACOB T.  
727-72-8426  
O POS  
NO PREFERENCE

We sat, a few people making quiet conversation, until the elevator pinged and the lights flashed. Looking around as the doors slid open, I gave a slight cry, jumping over the back of the couch I ran across the room, straight into Chelsea’s arm.

Her arms came around me tightly, as I sobbed, her shoulders shook and I clutched her tighter, jolting away slightly as I realised we were stood at an awkward angle.

“Holy shit,” I breathed, looking at her bump. “Since when?” I asked.

“I found out right after he left. I was gonna surprise him. He didn’t know,” She said, another, single tear trailed down her cheek. Her hands protectively on her bump.

“You should have these,” I said, letting the dog tags hang on the chain between us. “To give to my little niece or nephew.” She took them, running her finger over the name, before reaching out, dropping them around my neck.

Pulling the chain from down my top she lay the two sets of dog tags next to each other on my chest.

“Even though he hardly said it. Your brother loved you more than he could _ever_ love me,” She said softly. “And that’s okay. You were there for each other when you had nobody else. You’ll collect the flag, and you’ll keep his tags.” She pressing them against my chest.

“Chelsea, I can’t–” I broke off as she shook her head, giving me that older sibling look, that told me I wasn’t going to get a say in this. I nodded. Hugging her again. “Thank you.” I breathed softly.

Taking her hand I lead her and Iain down the steps into the conversation pit, where a bottle of Nat’s finest vodka and a shot glass for everyone sat on the table.

“Guys this is Iain Richards and Jakes girlfriend, my sister, Chelsea Grey,” I said. “Chelsea, Iain, this is–”

“We know who you are,” Chelsea cut in as she hugged Jane. “Thank you for looking after my sister."

“It’s our pleasure,” Pepper said, I smiled slightly, sitting back down next to Steve, pulling Chelsea next to me as Iain sat on the other side of Mike.

Tasha handed out the shots and everyone raised their glasses in a silent toast. Everyone’s minds drifting to their own friends or family who’d gone to fight and never come home…

.

The next two weeks passed in a blur. Mike and Iain flew back to Washington until the funeral while Chelsea had stayed in my spare room.

Tasha woke me up with a soft smile and a cup of coffee.

“Time to get up,” She said gently, setting the mug on my nightstand. I stared at her for a minute, my fingers ghosting over the dog tags that still hung round my neck.

Today was the day I bury my brother.

“Chelsea,” I muttered, pulling myself out of bed.

“Is awake and told me to give you this,” Tasha lay a black dress over the arm chair, a pair of black heels on the floor, it wasn’t particularly short, but it would show my leg, I just couldn’t bring myself to care.

Tasha guided me into the bathroom, leaving me to shower. I dragged myself through the motions, wrapping myself in a towel, I brushed my teeth.

Back in my bedroom, Tasha had changed into a plain black dress with a blazer, her hair pinned back.

I pulled the dress over my head, letting her zip it up.

I dried my hair and she helped me with my makeup every time my hands shook.

Looking in the mirror, I dropped the two sets of dog tags over my head, letting them hang on my chest.

The dress fell just above my knee’s, the soft lace stopping just below my elbows.

I pulled on my shoes and blazer, pushing the sleeves up my forearms as I clipped on my bracelet, sliding my knife and taser into my clutch with my cell phone.

“Clint and I’ll meet you upstairs,” Tasha said. I nodded, only half listening.

I walked out into the living room where Chelsea was standing in front of the window, looking out at the city, her hands resting on her bump through her black maxi dress.

“Your dad’s going to be there,” Chelsea said softly as I came to stand next to her.

“I know. Mike told me he was causing… issues?” I said.

“He doesn’t know about little one,” She rubbed circles over her belly. “He was poison in yours and Jakes lives. I won’t let him do the same to my baby.”

“Good,” I said firmly.

“ _My_ dad’s gonna be there. I’m gonna go stay with him in New Jersey. I want you to be a part of little ones life. You can see them whenever you want, and they’ll be a Lewis. Just like their daddy, and their brave auntie who lives with superheroes,” She took my hand as tears dripped down her face. “It’s going to be okay, Darce. It’s going to be okay.” Her voice cracked, trying to convince the both of us.

“We should go,” I said, trying to brush my tears away.

Chelsea and I walked up to the common room where Clint and Steve were both stood in the kitchen in smart suits and Tasha was on the phone to someone.

The elevator flashed and Jane stepped out, dressed in a knee length black dress, her light hair falling around her shoulders.

She didn’t say anything, just gave a slight supportive smile.

Clint flew a Quinjet out to an empty field in Pennsylvania, just outside of Newtown, where a sleek, black, funeral limo drove us to Washington Crossing National Cemetery.

The drive was short and as soon as I stepped out of the limo, I reached back, clasping Chelsea’s hand tightly.

As everyone gathered, I tensed, spotting my father, with his two brothers and one of my cousins, sitting in the front row, all dressed in black.

Several soldiers from JBLM walked straight past them and came to Chelsea and I to offer their condolences.

Given how close we were to our home town, several of Jakes old classmates were seated, slightly further back, giving slight nods of support, or sad smiles when my eyes passed over them.

My other cousin, Rose, slid in next to Chelsea at the last minute leaving a firm separation between us and my father, and to her credit she only briefly glanced back at the three Avengers and astrophysicist sitting directly behind us.

Mike and five other familiar friends from Jakes unit carried in the coffin.

The service passed in a blur of tears and kind words of gratitude and honour.

I flinched at each shot of the salute. Closing my eyes to take a steadying breath at the third shot.

Taps finally played, and as they folded the flag, I found myself counting each of the thirteen folds. Tears dripping down my cheeks as Mike handed it over to Iain, who slid the shell casings between folds and came to kneel in front of me.

“This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation and the United States Army as a token of your loved ones honourable and faithful service,” Iain said, his voice thick with emotions as he pressed the flag into my hands. A sob caught in my throat and he reached out squeezing my hand slightly before standing back up.

Chelsea’s arm came around me as we stood and they lowered the coffin into the ground. I felt Steve’s hand on my shoulder from behind.

I stared down as the coffin disappeared from site.

Three words fell from my lips before I could stop them. “Baruch dayan emet.” _Blessed be the one true judge._

My brother was gone.

.

I lent into Steve’s side as we stood in the corner of the bar. Jane, Rose and Chelsea sat at a table a few feet away, talking quietly, while Clint and Tasha were waiting in line to order drinks.

My eyes, however, were fixed the other side of the bar where my father was standing with his brothers and my cousin, Madison, accepting condolences with sweet smiles.

“I can’t deal with this,” I finally muttered, just as Clint and Nat set down the drinks.

Steve looked down at me, but I pushed away from him. Striding across the room to stand in front of him. Ignoring Mike who called out my name warningly.

“Darcy,” My dad, no. He didn’t deserve to be called that any more. Paul said as I came to stand in front of him. “You look… Well fed.” I clenched my jaw, stopping myself retorting.

“I’d like you to leave,” I said bluntly.

“Excuse me?” He gave a hard look that used to make my blood run cold. I hesitated slightly.

“You need to leave, all four of you,” I repeated forcefully.

“Jake was our family. We have every right to be here,” _Paul_ said arrogantly. I scoffed.

“You have _zero_ right to be here. You might have shared blood with Jake, but you weren’t his family. You hadn’t spoken to him in ten _years._ You _despised_ the fact that he joined the army. You used him and manipulated him and god he _hated_ you. You don’t deserve to even say his name, let alone come here and accept people’s condolences like you lost a child,” I said glaring at him.

“I _have_ lost a child,” He spat, his glare and the way he twisted his body to the side as he set his drink down screamed for me to run.

“You lost your children a decade ago,” I said bitterly.

“Darcy, be reasonable,” Madison said. I laughed slightly.

“This is me being reasonable. This is me doing what Jake would want, what he would do if he were here,” I said.

“But he’s not!” Paul yelled, making me flinch slightly. Several people, soldiers that served with Jake, took a slight step forward. Out of the corner of my eye I saw I saw both Nat and Chelsea stop Clint, Steve and Jane from stepping forwards. “He’s dead! He was an idiot and he got himself killed!” I tensed, a mixture of fear and fury running through my body.

“Jake was a hero,” Mike said, his southern accent slipping back through, anger lacing his voice as he came to stand next me to his hand resting on my shoulder, with a slight reassuring squeeze. “He died protecting his country, protecting his family, and that sure as hell wasn’t you.”

“I will not ask you again. Leave,” I said forcefully.

Paul stepped closer to me, taking his time to let his eyes roam over me.

“You know Darcy. You’re just as selfish as you were back then,” He sneered, shoving passed me. I swayed slightly, as the four of them left.

Low murmurs ran through the bar, as Mike drew me into his chest and I realised I was shaking.

“Breathe Darce. He’s gone, you’re safe,” He said quietly.

_They’re gone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry? I'm not 100% happy with how this chapter turned out, I was going to split it into chapters, her getting the news and then the funeral, but I couldn't decide where to split it, and I kinda just wanted all of the angst out of the way.  
> This had to happen, it will make mores sense later on.  
> On the plus side, this is the last time we see her dad for ages, so there's that...  
> Also, I have never been to a Military funeral, or any funeral in America, so I hope this is right, if it's not, let me know!  
> “Baruch dayan emet,” Blessed be the one true judge. - Is a Jewish Blessing on Death, it's Hebrew.
> 
> Darcy's dress and another couple of things are on Tumblr and Pinterest.  
> Question that relates to a later chapter, Arden Cho or Crystal Reed as Kate Bishop?? I can't decide.


	16. A Skate In The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "C'mon Doll, we're going out!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY CHRISTMAS GUYS!!!  
> To those of you who don't celebrate it happy holdiays!!  
> So this is my Christmas gift to you, a mildly fluffy, faintly Christmasy, slightly angsty chapter (There's more fluff than angst, I promise!!   
> So, here you go...

Weeks passed and October faded into November, Nat’s birthday passed and November set into December.

The days seemed to blur together as nothing seemed to matter.

Pepper had to go back to Malibu for some issues with the board and didn’t know when she’d be back, so Tony flew back with her.

So there was just me and five other people in the tower, trying to break me out of the routine I’d got myself stuck in.

Wake up, gym, shower, work, eat, work, eat, sleep, nightmares, repeat.

I went through the same motions day in, day out.

Tasha and Clint would spar with me.

Jane would try and get me to eat more.

Bruce would calmly talk me through my panic attacks, and make me a cup of flavoured tea or a hot chocolate.

And Steve, Steve seemed to always be there, whenever he wasn’t at S.H.I.E.L.D. He’d train with me, gently nudge me to eat, or go out, he’d listen whenever I wanted to talk, or even when I didn’t, he’d just sit with me or he’d tell me stories of Bucky and the Commandos.

Somehow, he’d become a permanent part of my life.

“C’mon Doll,” He walked in to the gym, making me look up from the punch bag. “We’re going out,” He said.

I looked over at him in confusion.

“Did we have plans?” I asked, racking my mind for any plans we might have made.

“No, but we do now. We’re going to central park,” He said decisively.

“Okaaay, can I go and shower first?” I asked. I’d been in the gym for hours, I stunk.

“Sure,” He replied with a roll of his eyes.

I climbed the stairs to my apartment, taking a quick shower, before dressing in a pair of dark red jeans with a white Henley. I pulled on a sleeveless knitted cardigan a wrapped a red knitted scarf round my neck as I pulled on a pair of heeled ankle boots.

I tucked the two sets of dog tags down the front of my top as I pulled on a black wool jacket.

“Jarvis, where is Steve?” I asked, pulling the cap off of one of my red lipsticks.

 _“Captain Rogers is in the garage,”_ He replied, I sighed. Dabbing some extra concealer under my eyes.

“Is he ready to go?” I queried.

 _“He is. He wishes to know if you’d like him to come up and meet you?”_ He asked. I glanced wearily at the door.

“No thanks, J. I’ll meet him down there,” I said, shoving my cell phone and taser in my pockets, not bothering with a purse.

I wedged my knife in the waist band of my jeans at the small of my back, tightening my belt slightly so it wouldn’t move.

Double checking all my pockets I headed to the elevator, as much as I hated small spaces I was not walking sixty something floors, in heels.

As usual, I rested my head against the window, tensing as the elevator lowered underground.

 _“Miss Lewis, you’re safe. You’re in the Tower,”_ Jarvis said, his voice soft.

The elevator stopped, the doors sliding open and I practically tripped over my own feet trying to get out.

_Breathe. In and out. In and out. Focus. You’re safe. In and out. In and out!_

I leant against the wall for a minute, slowing my breathing back down, before looking around the large garage.

The Avengers private garage was one of the lowest level. The only thing below this was security detainment.

Steve looked up from his bike as I walked closer, my heels clicking on the concrete floor.

“You ready?” I asked, he nodded, shrugging on a leather jacket.

“You okay if we take the bike?” He asked, holding out a helmet. I gave a hesitant nod.

“I’ve never been on a bike before. I always said I was going to get one when I was old enough, but then I couldn’t,” I said, pulling the helmet on, swinging my leg over the bike to sit behind Steve, thankful I’d decided to wear jeans.

Steve reached behind him, taking my hands and placing them on his waist.

“Just hold on and lean when I lean,” He said and I nodded. He kicked the bike to life.

It was a less than ten minute ride to Central Park, and Steve parked the bike up at the side of the road, we left our helmets on top and he pressed a button on his keys and a blue bubble seemed to surround the bike, before disappearing.

“Stark made some upgrades,” He said, shoving his keys in his pockets as I smiled slightly, reaching out hesitantly, my fingers bounced back off of an invisible wall.

“Pretty cool,” I muttered.

We walked through Central Park talking about nothing in particular. Steve pulling his hood up as we came passed a group of people, he ducked his head slightly.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the random day trip with you. What’s with the sudden urge to go to Central Park?” I asked as we walked onto the bow bridge, leaning on the rail to look down at the water.

“Darce, you’ve hardly left the tower since the funeral, the balcony doesn’t count. Clint was planning on dragging you out Christmas shopping,” He said and I grimaced. Shopping with Clint was… interesting?

“Thanks for saving me,” I said as we carried on walking, I shoved my hands in my pockets, keeping the warm from the icy breeze, as we walked towards the ice skating rink.

“We never had any of this,” Steve said suddenly, his voice soft as we watched a girl pirouette on the ice, her hair flying out around her head. “People were struggling, especially at Christmas, some people couldn’t even afford a tree, let alone pay to go ice skatin’,” A slight Brooklyn accent slipping into his voice.

“You’ve never been ice skating?” I asked, I don’t know why I was surprised, he was sick, then at war and then he woke up in the ice. He’s probably not been too eager to go anywhere near the cold.

He shook his head.

“Nah, I could never afford it back then. I haven’t really had a whole lot of free time since I’ve been here,” He explained. “What about you?” He looked down at me and I shrugged.

“When I used to try and perfect a dance move or position, I’d go to a local ice rink to perfect my balance. But I haven’t been in years,” I shook my head.

“C’mon,” He said taking my hand.

“Um…” I looked at him in confusion as he tugged me towards the counter where they were handing out skates.

“You can teach me to skate,” He said, dropping my hand to pull out his wallet.

“I have no money,” I said, gesturing to my lack of purse. He shrugged, pulling out a twenty dollar bill and a five, handing them over to the girl, telling her to keep the change.

“Tony said your leg could do anything a normal one could do, right?” He asked, I looked up at him as if he were insane. “Darce?” He prompted.

“Er, yeah. I think so,” I snapped back to reality, unlacing my boots and swapping them for a pair of white skates. “This is insane,” I muttered as I finished lacing the skates up and walked over to where Steve was waiting by the gate an amused look on his face.

Steve stepped on the ice first, looking slightly unsteady, but he quickly seemed to regain his balance as he clutched the rail.

I stepped up, and just stood for a second, feeling the ice under my skates, before pushing off. It was like riding a bike, slightly different with my new leg but it seemed to come back to me pretty quickly.

Steve as it turned out, super soldier or not, was terrible at ice skating. His extra reflexes seemed to do nothing as he lost his balance and his backside hit the ice heavily, for the fourth time.

I laughed slightly as I spun round in front of him, he stared up at me with a dopey smile.

“What?” I asked with a slight giggle.

“I’ve not heard that in a while. It sounds good,” He said, and I gave a soft smile.

 We skated for a while longer and Steve finally started to get the hang of it, going his fourth lap without falling over or hanging onto the rail.

I grinned as he stumbled slightly, gripping my hand a little tighter.

If Steve could learn to ice skate then maybe there was hope for us all. Maybe things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there are a lot of questions about Steve's reaction to ice, and I believe, although he doesn't like it, he can do things like ice skating, or being in the cold without having a panic attack, or at least in my version of the universe, he won't be triggered unless exposed for a long period of time or if he has no control over it.  
> Like if he were to sit on the ice for hours, or get unexpectedly pushed in the snow or cold water.  
> So yes, Steve can go ice skating!   
> Go check out my Pinterest and Tumblr for pictures, there are a couple for this chapter!


	17. I Didn't Hear You, Asshole!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Terrorists, unknown tech and the CIA being dicks,” He said.
> 
> I gave a slight laugh. “Just the usual then,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I was supposed to post this earlier but I've been writing some Iron Man 3 and Steve x Darcy scenes for later so, forgive me?!  
> Thank you for those of you who gave your opinions about Kate Bishop, in this story she is going to be portrayed by Arden Cho!  
> Warnings: Brief panic in the later part of this chapter!

As it turned out, Clint still dragged me out Christmas shopping, pulling me through a mall and wining like a small child.

“Aw, c’mon! Tasha would love that!” He said, gesturing to the box of Avengers action figures.

“She’d throw the Black Widow at your head and yell at you for buying a doll with unrealistic proportions to a female body,” I said looking at the hourglass figure on the doll, and creepily long legs. “Do you guys approve this?” I asked scanning through the Avengers merchandise.

“No,” Clint snorted, looking through the other dolls.

“I thought not,” I muttered. “I mean Tasha has way less merchandise than anyone else,” Noting the distinct lack of Black Widow merchandise on the racks, and the few dolls that dotted the shelves were out of proportion.

“C’mon Dude! This was my favourite top!” An angry female voice rang down the aisle.

Clint and I looked up to see a young woman, maybe in her late teens glaring at a middle aged guy, an empty coffee cup on the floor and a dark stain spreading on her lilac top.

“This is going to go badly,” Clint muttered with a slight smirk.

I looked up at him in confusion.

“Well you should look where you’re going,” The guy spat at her.

“ _I_ should look where I’m going? Dude, I was standing still, looking for a Hawkeye toy for my dog to chew and _you_ walked into me,” She snapped.

Clint mumbled something under his breath and I caught the words ‘ungrateful’ and ‘kid’.

“You spilt my coffee,” The guy glared at her and she looked away, running a hand through her long, dark hair in annoyance.

Her eyes scanned the aisle, pausing on Clint for a second, she scrunched up her face in confusion, before narrowing her dark eyes.

She turned back to the guy.

“Look man, apologise and I won’t bill you for dry cleaning,” She said. The guy huffed loudly, before muttering something under his breath. “I didn’t hear you, asshole,” She said, the guy shuffled slightly.

“I’m sorry,” He grumbled quietly.

The girl gave a satisfied nod before spinning on her heel, striding down the aisle towards us, she came to a stop in front us.

“Still picking fights I see,” Clint commented. “Ya know, that’s probably not the best of ways to spend your time,” The girl’s eyes narrowed as she punched Clint’s shoulder. “Aw, c’mon! What was that for?” My eyes widened in surprise.

“I’ve heard _nothing_ from you in _months_ and then suddenly you turn up here lecturing me on getting into fights!” She exclaimed suddenly, her anger turning to Clint.

Clint looked up at her, guilt washing over his face.

“I’m sorry Katie,” He said.

She glared at him for another second before reaching out, wrapping her arms around his neck as she hugged him tightly.

“You better be,” She muttered, before pulling away.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, drawing their attention.

“Who’s this? Has Natasha got bored of your ass already?” She asked.

“Kate this is Darcy Lewis, she lives and works in the tower. Darce, meet Kate Bishop, Protégée wanna be and all round tag along,” He said gesturing between us.

“Nice to meet you,” I said with a small smile which she returned.

“And for the record,” Clint turned back to Kate. “Natasha loves my ass,”

.

After a while Kate had to go back to school and Clint and I drifted through a few more shops, grabbing things here and there until his phone chimed.

“Mind making a detour?” He asked, looking up from his phone.

“Sure. Where are we going?” I asked, as he tapped a reply to whoever text him and slid his phone back in his pocket.

“I need to stop by S.H.I.E.L.D. Maria won’t tell me why though,” I nodded. We got a cab across Manhattan, stopping a block away from the S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ, walking the rest of the way.

We stepped in, through the automatic doors and I looked around the large, bright lobby.

Most people were wearing the same black suit, a couple of people were wearing black basic tactical gear, while some wore navy blue suits and a few people were wearing lab coats.

“The people in black tac gear are the lower Agents, maybe level two or three at the highest. The people with Navy blue on their suits are field Agents, like Tasha and I. The people in suits, are either officers or admin staff. The officer’s suits tend to be more expensive and better fitting,” Clint explained and my mind flickered to Coulson, who always wore an immaculate, perfect fitting suit. “People with plain white lab coats are medical, and if they have a logo on then they just work in the science division,”

I nodded in understanding as we walked over to the security desk where a guy in a black security suit stood up, he pushed a small pad towards Clint who pressed his thumb down on it, before letting the guy hold up a miniature retinal scan that I’d seen blueprints for in Tony’s work shop.

 _“Welcome Agent Barton,”_ A cool female voice said from the computer system.

“And her?” The guard turned to me.

“She’s with me, not an Agent,” Clint said in his more professional voice, as he grabbed a badge from behind the desk. He scribbled my name on it and clipped it to my jacket. “We’re going straight to see the Deputy Director anyway. She has the clearance,”

The guard narrowed his eyes but nodded, clearly trusting Clint’s judgment.

We walked to the back of the lobby, stopping several feet in front of the elevators.

“Twelve floors?” He asked with a raised eyebrow and I shrugged, reaching forward to press the button.

_I’m in a S.H.I.E.L.D. base. I’m with Clint. I’m safe!_

I stepped inside the small ish elevator, and unlike the ones in the tower, this had no windows. Just three walls lined with mirrors.

I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall, forcing myself to take deep, exaggerated breaths.

The elevator stopped and I heard Clint say something to someone before it started to move again.

It stopped again, several seconds later and Clint put his hand on my shoulder.

“C’mon. You’re safe,” He said. I opened my eyes as the doors slid apart and I stepped out.

We were in a corridor with glass walls, into each room.

I followed Clint down past a large gym, a pool, four locker rooms, a gun range, a knife throwing range, a large weapons room that looked as if it had every single type of weapon ever invented on a shelf somewhere.

We reached the far end of the corridor to the only room that wasn’t made of glass.

Clint punched a number into the pad and pushed the door open.

It turned out to be another, smaller locker room with just two rows. Clint led me down the second one, dropping our bags on the bench as my eyes scanned over the names.

_C.Barton – Hawkeye_

_N.Romanoff – Black Widow_

_S.Rogers – Captain America_

_M.Hill_

_P.Coulson_

_J.Sitwell_

_M.May_

“Those last three aren’t used any more. Sitwell and May don’t really do field work much anymore. Maria doesn’t much, but she’s based here at the minute,” He said as he pressed his thumb to the sensor on his locker, pulling the door open.

Inside on a shelf was a S.H.I.E.L.D. tac suit and below that hung a quiver with a black case that I knew contained his bow.

We left our stuff in his locker and took the elevator up another three floors.

We wound through several corridors, past some cubicles and through a door that had. _Field Operations_ printed on the glass.

 _“Say Cheese,”_ The AI said through the wall panel as Clint went through another retinal scan.

“Say cheese?” I asked with a slight scoff. “That’s not very S.H.I.E.L.D. –y,” I said.

“Tony programed an AI for Fury, to make everything automated,” He said in a way of explanation. “But given how protective he is with his stuff, he built ten different unbreakable firewalls so that Fury either took the code how it was or didn’t have it at all,”

I snorted. That sounded like something Tony would do.

We walked down another corridor into a situation room, where Maria was talking to a guy in a black tac suit, leather straps crossing across his chest. They looked up as we came in and the guy narrowed his eyes at me.

“Who’s this?” He asked looking down at me.

“Darcy this is Brock Rumlow. Rumlow this is Darcy Lewis,” Maria said vaguely.

“She doesn’t have clearance to be in here,” He said, making me roll my eyes.

“Dude, I live in the top floors of the Avengers Towers, I have full access to Tony Starks labs. I think I have higher clearance than you do,” I snapped.

“She has a point,” Maria said, her voice firm. “Although Miss Lewis isn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, she still has enough clearance to be here,”

I couldn’t help but smirk at Rumlows scowl.

“So, what’s going on?” Clint asked, Maria handed him a file which he flicked open, turning it slightly so I couldn’t read it, though I did catch the words ‘Mandarin’ and ‘bombings’ whatever the hell that meant.

“There normally needs to be a target before I can accept a mission,” He said, not looking up from the file.

“This is all we have. They don’t want S.H.I.E.L.D. to have any say in this. We’ve been making too much noise the past few years. We’re their last resort. If it comes to it though, this’ll be yours and Romanoff’s mission,” Maria said sharply and Clint nodded. I didn’t ask who ‘they’ and ‘their’ was.

“What’s the current threat level?” He asked.

“No immediate threat,” She said and Clint nodded again, flipping the file closed and he handed it back to her.

“If that changes let me know,” He requested and Maria nodded. “Am I cleared to know when Nat’s due back?” He asked.

“She’ll be back today,” Maria said.  A brief smile crossed Clint’s face as he nodded a third time.

“I’m borrowing a car. I’m not paying for a cab back to the tower,” He told her, his voice softer, more Clint than Agent Barton.

Maria rolled her eyes.

“There’s a surprise,” She said. “Now get outta here Barton. Some of us have work to do,”

Clint gave her a mock salute. “Yes ma’am,” He gave a nod to Rumlow who was still scowling as we headed back towards the elevator.

“What was that about?” I asked as the elevator doors slid closed.

“Terrorists, unknown tech and the CIA being dicks,” He said.

I gave a slight laugh. “Just the usual then,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Kate, just to introduce her! (Don't worry, there will be more!)  
> And you get your first glimpse of S.H.I.E.L.D. also, I cannot stand Rumlow, you might have been able to tell!   
> Be sure to check out my Pinterest and Tumblr for the latest gif!


	18. Lockdown Complete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jarvis?” I asked, staring at the TV in shock.
> 
> “Yes Miss Lewis?”
> 
> “Please tell me I just imagined Tony threatening a terrorist and then giving the world his home address,” I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first update of 2016! Happy New Year everyone!!!  
> So now that my wrist is starting to get better, I'm trying to sketch out Darcy's prosthetic, but haven't yet. But when it's finished I will put it up on Pinterest.  
> Warnings: Brief mentions of insomnia, blink and you miss it!

I lay back on the couch in the common room the next day. Natasha had got back from her super-secret mission and then she and Clint were immediately called out on another one.

Tony and Pepper were still in Malibu, so the only people currently living in the tower were me, Steve, Jane and Bruce.

Steve who had already gone to bed, Jane was probably still in her lab and I’d finally managed to drag Bruce away from Science to go to bed.

So that left me, half listening to some cheesy Christmas film as it neared eleven pm while I scanned through Amazon on my Stark Pad, doing a last bit of Christmas shopping.

 _“We interrupt your viewing to bring you Breaking News,”_ My head snapped round to the TV. _“There has been an explosion at the Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles. Witness reports are saying that there was a fight followed by one of the men exploding. A suicide bomber is suspected –,”_

The screen flickered before going red, a black symbol appearing before playing a video, which was neither the news nor the film that was on before.

_“True story of fortune cookies,” The voice said as a video showed a man getting out of a Humvee. “They look Chinese, they sound Chinese. But they’re actually an American invention…”_

“Jarvis, what’s going on?” I asked, sitting up straighter. Staring at the TV with wide eyes. It was showing footage of terrorists in the Middle East.

 _“All channels are playing the same video,”_ Jarvis said. _“It seems the stations have lost control of what is airing,”_

“That’s impossible,” I muttered.

 _“Which is why they’re whole, full of lies and leave a bad taste in the mouth. My disciples just destroyed another cheap American knockoff. The Chinese Theatre. Mr President, I know this must be getting frustrating, but this season of terror is drawing to a close. And don’t worry, the big one is coming. Your graduation,”_ The man, the mandarin on screen shot a picture of the President, his supporters around him cheered.

The screen flickered back to normal and the news reporter looked panicked.

_“So it’s been confirmed that the man known only as the Mandarin has taken responsibility for the bombing of the Chinese Theatre. There was several fatalities confirmed and another man was badly injured is rumoured to work for and is a close friend of Tony Starks,” The woman said._

My eyes widened.

“Jarvis, who’s been hurt? Pepper? Tony?” I forced myself to breathe.

 _“Mr Hogan has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state. Sir and Miss Potts are on their way to the hospital now,”_ Jarvis said and I nodded.

Happy, was in a critical state. Happy who had just been promoted to the head of security. Pepper’s new bodyguard, taking the role very seriously and reporting back to Tony the second he thought anything was amiss.

I stayed by the TV throughout the night, switching to a news channel, watching the reports, waiting for any word.

The sun rose and shone through the window, and I moved to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee, watching the woman stand outside the hospital, repeating the same message for a third time.

As I sat back down the reporters seemed to rush to the doors where Tony walked out sunglasses on a tight, angry expression on his face as he pushed through the flocking reporters to his car.

_“Mr Stark is there anything else you can tell us?”_

_“Mr Stark what’s going to happen?”_

_“Hey Mr Stark!”_ One reporter said as Tony was about to get in the car. _“When is somebody gonna kill this guy?”_

Tony hesitated, turning back to face the young journalist and the rest of the reporters fell silent.

“Aw shit,” I muttered, in no way was this going to go well.

 _“Is that what you want?” Tony asked. “Here’s a little holiday greeting I’ve been wanting to send to the Mandarin. I just didn’t know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark and I am not afraid of you. I know you’re a coward, so I’ve decided…” Tony pulled off his sunglasses, anger seared through his eyes but something else, a mixture of fear and exhaustion was just as evident as he glared at the camera. “You just died Pal. I’m gonna come and collect the body. There’s no politics here, just good old fashioned revenge. There’s no pentagon, it’s just you and me. And on the off chance you’re a man, here’s my home address: 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”_ Tony plucked the reporters cell out of his hand “That’s what you wanted right?” He threw the phone at the wall, ignoring the surprised gasps of the press. “Bill me,” He spat, he slid into the car and pulled away before anyone could say anything.

“Jarvis?” I asked, staring at the TV in shock.

_“Yes Miss Lewis?”_

“Please tell me I just imagined Tony threatening a terrorist and then giving the world his home address,” I said.

 _“I’m afraid not,”_ Jarvis said.

“Aw shit. Wake Steve and Bruce up please J, and tell Jane to get out of her lab this second because it’s an emergency,” I instructed then glanced down at my mug. “I need more coffee,”

Steve, Bruce and Jane appeared ten minutes later as the TV was now showing an aerial view of Tony’s house.

 “What’s going on?” Steve asked. “Jarvis said there was an emergency,” He said, shield in hand. “Wait, isn’t that Tony’s house?”

“Jarvis replay the footage please,” I requested and the TV rewound, re-playing Tony’s threat.

Bruce pulled his glasses off and rubbed his nose with a slight groan.

“Did he just threaten a terrorist?” Jane asked with a shocked expression.

“Yes, and in doing so he gave the worlds media his home address,” I said.

Steve rubbed a hand over his face tiredly.

I grabbed my cell and tried to dial Pepper’s number for a third time only this time she actually answered.

 _“Darcy,”_ She said, a frustrated tone to her voice.

 _“Tell Lewis this isn’t the best time!”_ I heard Tony call out in the background.

“I’m sorry Tony I thought now was the perfect time, it’s not like you just threatened a terrorist or anything,” I snapped sarcastically. “What the hell is going on?” I demanded.

 _“Happy’s in the hospital, he’s stable for now,”_ Pepper assured me. _“We’re making plans to get out of town,”_

_“No we’re not! I’m not leaving!” Tony said angrily._

_“Yes Tony we can’t stay here!”_ She almost shouted back and I pulled the phone away from my ear slightly.

Steve glared at my phone with the ‘You’ve disappointed Captain America, therefore you’ve let down your entire country’ look that had made grown ass men cry.

 _“We can’t goto New York it’s not like they don’t have that address,”_ Tony snapped, I tensed, hearing Pepper’s breath catch. _“Darcy give the phone to Steve or Natasha,”_

I silently held out the phone to Steve who took it with a confused expression.

“Pepper?” He said then hesitated. “Tony… Natasha and Clint are due back this afternoon… I can try and get hold of Maria… I don’t have the authorisation…” Steve glanced up at me and nodded. “Okay, we’ll be fine, don’t do anything stupid,” Steve hung up the phone, handing it back to me.

“I need to call Maria, nobody leaves this floor,” He said, in his Captain America voice.

The three of us nodded as he walked out onto the balcony with his own phone in hand.

Jane dropped down into the conversation pit with a sigh as Bruce went to make tea, returning a minute later with three mugs, he handed one to Jane and set one to the side for Steve, he sunk back into the couch with his own mug of tea.

We sat in silence, watching for any news as I absently scrolled through my StarkPad, as I flicked through various social media accounts.

 _Tony Stark_ was trending on all of them.

Steve came back in several minutes later, sliding the door shut slowly and as he turned back to us, I noticed the mildly concerned look across his face.

“Does anyone have any immediate plans to leave the tower?” He asked.

I shook my head. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

“Good,” He said, then turned to me. “Darcy, I need you to lock down the top floors of the tower, all of the Avengers floors. Send _everybody_ home. Once they leave nobody comes in or out without clearance from me,”

“I can’t do that,” I said. “Only Tony or Pepper have the authorisation codes,”

“Tony said he knows you’ve been in both the Stark Industries and S.H.I.E.L.D. servers and that besides him you are the only other person that has the ability to initiate lockdown manually,” He said and my eyes widened as I stared at him for a minute.

_Tony knew I hacked Stark Industries and hadn’t fired me, or gotten me arrested. Tony thought I actually had the capability to get through layers of Stark Code? Since when does Tony actually pay attention to anything other than Pepper and occasionally Jarvis? Maybe Jarvis told him, I must have tripped an alarm..._

I mentally shook myself taking a deep breath I nodded. Dropping to my knees in front of the coffee table I rolled my shoulders back.

“Jarvis, give me a keyboard. It’ll be easier than doing it on my phone,” I said, a holographic keyboard appeared on the table and a screen appeared in front of me.

I got to the final stages and paused. I couldn’t get any further without the code.

As if on cue my phone vibrated, glancing down at it I smiled slightly.

_From: Tony;_

_I told you so! 589-621-65._

I rolled my eyes, punching in the numbers.

“Done,” I declared, slamming my finger on the enter key dramatically.

It took a second before the red light on the elevator started to flash.

 _“Initiating lockdown. Would all personnel please leave the building. Initiating lockdown. Would all personnel please leave the building,”_ Jarvis’ voice rang out across the speakers, and we watched on the feeds as staff looked up in panic, rushing towards an exit.

“Jarvis, give me access to the PA system,” I requested. Another button appeared in front of me and I held my finger down on it. “Ladies and Gentlemen this is Darcy Lewis. Would you please _calmly_ make your way out of the building, for several days paid leave,” I said, my voice echoing through the room. I lifted my finger off the button and turned back to the feed, people seemed to be moving in a more orderly fashion than before, and we watched as the last few people evacuated the Avengers floors.

The doors sealed themselves and the lights stopped flashing.

 _“Lockdown complete,”_ Jarvis announced. The room fell eerily quiet, all devices other than the holographic screen had automatically shut off and the lights had switched to emergency lighting.

“What now?” Jane asked, looking around the room.

“All of the doors to leave the Avengers floors have been sealed, including the ones for the balcony’s and landing pad. They cannot be opened without my authorisation code,” I explained. “All automatic doors have be disabled, you’ll need to use the security pads at most of the doors. All non-essential communications have been disabled. My cell, Steve’s and the ones in the situation rooms still work, Jarvis is still there, but the only other person he can contact is Tony,”

“Good,” Steve nodded. “Nobody goes below the 60th floor,”

I reached out tapping the holographic keyboard the lights brightened back to normal.

Bruce and Jane disappeared up to the labs, while Steve dropped down next to me.

“What do we know about this Mandarin?” He asked, I took a deep breath reaching out for my tablet.

“How long have you got?”

* * *

_“Captain Rogers, Miss Lewis. Agents Romanoff and Barton are just landing and they’re requesting access to enter,”_ Jarvis announced. I tossed my tablet to the side, watching as it automatically closed the file I was reading.

I moved over, past the dining table to stand in front of the door, watching as the quinjet touched down and I waited as Clint and Nat walked down the ramp, both looking slightly battered.

Tapping the glass, the keypad lit up and I punched in the override code, letting the door swing in towards me.

“What the hell happened to you two?” I asked as Tasha limped past me.

“The whole thing was a set up. We were sent straight into a trap,” Clint said with a glare as he lowered himself down onto a dining chair with a slight wince as I pushed the door closed, retyping the code to lock it.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, his arms folded across his chest as Natasha sat opposite Clint, unlacing her boots roughly.

“It was supposed to be a simple mission, just getting Intel, easy in and out. The place was crawling with terrorists,” He explained briefly, looking over at Nat in concern as she pulled up the leg of her cat suit slightly, showing her swollen ankle that had faded into shades of blue and purple.

“Jarvis, can you ask Bruce to come down here please?” Steve asked, ignoring Natasha’s scathing look.  I slid round to the freezer, tossing her an ice pack as they spoke.

 _“Certainly,”_ Jarvis replied.

“Did you get the intel?” Steve asked, Nat gave the briefest of nods. She pulled her foot up onto another chair, dropping the ice pack on top of it, while she sat up slightly straighter, unzipping her suit, not seeming to care that her black laced bra was now on view to everybody.

Steve cleared his throat slightly, his eyes dropping to the floor as she pulled a paper file and a flash drive from somewhere inside her suit, she dropped them down onto the table, re zipping her suit.

“We heard about what Stark did,” Clint commented, making Natasha’s lips thin dangerously.

“It was reckless,” She commented as she flicked the file open.

The elevator flashed and I glanced round at Bruce and Jane, Bruce moved in front of Natasha, pulling the ice pack off of her foot to look at it while Jane came to stand next to me a worried look on her face.

Clint snatched the file from Tasha’s hands, his eyes widening as he swore softly.

“What?” Steve asked sharply.

“I guess the mystery of who kidnapped Stark a few years back isn’t such a mystery anymore,” He said, tossing the file onto the table.

I gasped slightly, not reading what it said but my eyes were drawn to the picture at the bottom. Tony knelt on the floor, bandages crossed across his chest as he looked half unconscious, with several masked men who each had a semi-automatic weapon pointed at his head.

“The Mandarin was behind what happened to him in Afghanistan?” Bruce asked, glancing up from where he was wrapping Natasha’s ankle.

“That’s their flag,” Tasha said with a slight shrug, tapping the red flag that was behind Tony’s head. “It was never confirmed exactly how many people Stane was selling to under the desk,” She explained. “We could never actually confirm who was responsible,”

I stifled a yawn as I turned away from them, pouring myself another cup of coffee, the sleepless night starting to catch up with me.

I turned back to the conversation, leaning my elbows on the counter only to be met with four disapproving looks and Tasha’s raised eyebrow.

“What?” I snapped.

“When was the last time you slept?” Clint asked, looking up at me and I shrugged.

“Four am, yesterday,” Jane said and I glared at her as Clint and Steve both sighed.

“Traitor,” I muttered. “There are more important things to do than sleep right now,” I pointed out, then winced as both Jane and Bruce looked up at me in disbelief. That was what Jane told me literally ever day before I dragged her to bed.

The TV across the room’s volume suddenly increased.

_“It appears to be an unknown projectile, heading towards the mansion, it’s presumed to be a missile,”_

I rushed across the room, vaguely aware of everyone behind me, sure enough the news showed a missile heading straight for the house.

 _“As far as we know Mr Stark and Miss Potts are still inside along with another, unknown woman who entered the house not five minutes ago,”_ The anchor said.

The missile went through the side of the building, a large explosion blowing outwards into the sea.

We watched as three unmarked black helicopters flew towards the mansion.

Natasha said something in Russian, too fast for me to catch.

Each helictor fired another missile and we could do nothing but watch the house blow up, section by section.

With each explosion the cliff shook, and the house seemed too cling to the edge of the cliff, a flash of scarlet, something shot out of the house before seconds later it flew back in.

The press helicopters seemed to hang back slightly and as they zoomed in the picture went grainy.

Something flew out of the window, hitting into the chopper in the middle.

“Was that a piano?” Jane asked with a slight, choked laugh.

“They’re switching to machine gun fire,” Clint noted. “Someone’s still alive in there,”

A white light shot out of the window hitting the second helicopter, it spun off course, and it crashed into the side of the house.

“That was a repolser beam,” Tasha said, her voice tense.

The helicopter hit the side of the house and it seemed to reach it’s tipping point, the house slid down the side of the cliff, dropping everything from a Christmas tree to what looked like an Aston Martin dropped into the ocean.

My eyes widened, there was nothing, no flash of Hot Rod Red, no white repolser beam. Just an earie silence as the News reporter seemed to be at a loss for words.

The final helicopter circled around flying back across, out of the shot.

A stray piece of rubble seemed to slide off the cliff and as it splashed into the water and just like that, it was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're up to Iron Man 3!  
> Be sure to check out my Tumblr and or my pinterest for pictures and gifs!!


	19. They Think He's Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t every day that the CEO of the world’s biggest tech company told you ‘Nice job’ so casually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry I was going to post this earlier but I have been really ill today, so haven't been awake much, but here ya go!  
> So, just a heads up I don't really like this, or the next few chapters. It was harder to write than I thought it would be.  
> Chapter Warnings: Nightmares, Flashbacks, Phycological abuse all in the italics in the later part of the chapter.

Nothing happened for a minute, and then everything seemed to happen at once.

Natasha and Steve lunged for their phones, Jane spun round pacing up and down, Bruce dropped down onto the couch, his head in his hands as he took several deep breaths and Clint stepped back slightly, his eyes scanning over everyone, settling on me for a second before dropping wearily to land on Bruce.

“Hill, I don’t give a rat’s ass what chaos your office is in right now, you told us there was no immediate threat. What the fuck just happened?” Natasha demanded angrily at her phone.

“Director, with all due respect, I need a sit-rep,” Steve said, his body tense as his voice was hard.

“Jarvis?” I asked, my voice wavering slightly. “You still there?”

 _“Yes, Miss Lewis. I am fully functional within the tower,”_ He replied, and if an AI could sound worried…

“Call Pepper,” I said.

 _“Connecting you to Miss Potts cell phone,”_ A holographic photo of Pepper appeared as it rung.

 _“Darcy?”_ Pepper’s voice shook, it sounded like she was, or had been crying, everyone gave a consecutive sigh of relief. _She was alive!_

“Pepper! Are you okay?” I asked.

 _“I’m fine. Tony got me out, but he was inside when it fell. They can’t find – They don’t think… They think he’s dead,”_ My breath caught in my throat as my eyes burnt.

Clint stepped forward, his hand on my shoulder.

“Pepper, reports are saying that there was a third person in the house. Who was it?” He asked.

“Maya Hanson. She’s a Botanist, Tony knew her in the 90’s, she’s here. I got her out,” Pepper said.

I looked up in confusion. _Maya Hanson… Why did that name sound familiar?_

I shook my head, pushing the thought away.

Clint and Nat exchanged looks, Tasha shrugged.

Clint looked down at Bruce who also shrugged.

“Never heard of her,” He said. Jane shook her head in agreement.

“Darcy?” Steve prompted and I mentally shook myself.

“Huh?” I asked, looking up to see everyone staring at me.

“Maya Hanson. You reacted to the name,” Natasha said, her cell phone pressed into her shoulder. “Do you know her?”

“I knew _a_ Maya Hanson. She used to spend a lot of time talking to amputee’s, at JBLM. But it couldn’t have been her if she’s a Botanist,” I said with a slight apologetic shrug.

“Jarvis, run a background,” Steve said, cutting off whoever he was on the phone to.

_“Certainly Captain,”_

_“I have to go,”_ Pepper said. _“A load of people in suits want statements,”_

“Start with S.H.I.E.L.D.” Natasha said. “They’ll know more than anyone else,”

_“I will do. Nobody talks to the press or anybody, unless something major happens and I’m not there to stop the panic. Oh and Darcy?”_

“Erm, yeah?”

_“Nice job on the lockdown. You really should stop hiding your skills,”_

Without another word Pepper hung up, and despite everything that was happening, heat rose to my cheeks.

It wasn’t every day that the CEO of the world’s biggest tech company told you ‘Nice job’ so casually.

.

The sun set over Manhattan and I curled up at the edge of the conversation pit, trying, and failing to keep my eyes open.

I felt the couch dip slightly and I started at the gently hand on my arm.

My eyes shot open as I looked up at Steve.

“Hey Doll,” He said softly. “C’mon, you should get to bed,” I shook my head petulantly. “Doll, it’s not gonna be comfortable to sleep here,”

“I don’t wanna be on my own,” I muttered sleepily, resting my head back against my arms.

Steve sighed, reaching taking my hand to pull me up to my feet, his arm going around my shoulders as I stumbled slightly.

“C’mon, I have a spare room,” He said, guiding my up the steps, my foot caught on the top step and I winced, he only just caught me before I hit the floor. “Darcy, can I pick you up?” He asked.

I hummed, feeling myself nod.

A hand under my knee and another round my shoulders made me tense.

“Sweetheart, it’s just me. It’s Steve,” He said, I opened my eyes, blinking up at him and let myself relax. _It’s Steve, its safe._

My eyes drifted shut again and my head dropped down against his collar bone.

I faintly heard a door open and close and the sounds of sneakers on the floor as things drifted back into darkness.

I stirred slightly as I was lowered onto a soft bed, I blinked groggily up at Steve.

“You’re in my apartment sweetheart.  Go back to sleep,” He said, his voice soft as his fingers ghosted across my forehead, brushing my hair away from my face.

“Hmm,” I hummed, settling further into the pillows as a blanket was pulled over my shoulders. “Night Steve,” I mumbled.

I thought that Steve said something in reply, but I was already asleep.

.

_“You’re worthless, you know that don’t you?” My father leered over me. “Nobody’s going to love someone as selfish as you, you’re already whoring yourself out. You aren’t even thirteen and you’re sleeping with guys in the park, you don’t have any self-respect,” He spat and thirteen year old me sobbed. “Nobody will care for you, they’ll get tired of you and you’ll be on your own again, just like you deserve,”_

_One memory seemed to fade into another and I was sitting on a desk in Tony’s lab watching while he was editing blueprints for my new leg._

_“Why are you doing this?” I asked, my voice quiet. Tony’s fingers faltered over the hologram._

_“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked instead of answering, I shrugged slightly as he looked up at me._

_“You hardly know me. I haven’t even been here that long,” I said, doubt shining in my voice._

_“Because I can,” He said simply. “I have the money and capability to make somebody’s life better, I have no right to do anything less,” His voice was surprisingly soft._

_“I don’t des –,” I cut off at his sharp look._

_“You think you don’t deserve it?” Something in Tony’s eyes that I couldn’t read. “Darcy, you come in here and make sure we all eat, you argue the Hulk into taking a nap, I’ve seen you threaten the Black Widow into taking a break, you force me to leave my lab at nights, you talk Captain America through pop culture, and when he freaks out at new stuff you talk him through it. When Thor was here he talked about his shield sister who felled him with her box of lightening. You care about us more as people than Avengers. How can you honestly think we wouldn’t care in return?”_

_Tony’s emotion filled eyes faded into the news footage, the house sliding off of the cliff and Pepper’s voice echoing in my ears._

_“They think he’s dead,”_

_“Nobody will care for you, they’ll get tired of you and you’ll be on your own again, just like you deserve,”_

I screamed, shooting up right, my eyes flying open.

_This isn’t my room. Where am I?_

“Darcy, Sweetheart. You’re safe. It was just a dream,” My head whipped round, Steve was kneeling next to the bed, dressed in sweats and a shirt, his hand dropped on the bed, like he wanted to reach out, but was hesitant to do so.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m sorry,” I said breathlessly, running a hand through my hair.

“Ssh, Doll. You don’t need to apologise, you’re okay,” He said, he slowly slid onto the bed to sit next to me, reaching out to rest his hand on my shoulder and I found myself leaning into his touch.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked, leaning against the headboard, letting me rest my head on his chest.

“Just a mixture of memories,” I said. “Some good and some… shitty,” I mumbled, already drifting asleep. I felt Steve shift as if to stand up and I tensed, grabbing at his shirt.

“Stay?” I requested, looking up at him blearily.

He smiled slightly, sliding back into place.

“Sure Sweetheart, go back to sleep,” He said softly. I settled my head back on his chest, the steady thump of his heart, and his fingers, gently combing through my hair lulled me back into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just wanted to take a second and say Thank you to all 500+ people that have left kudos and the 399 comments. This is the best reaction I've ever had to a story. So really thank you, I love you all!!   
> As always, lemme know what you think and don't forget to check out my Pinterest and/or Tumblr!


	20. On Air Force One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only Tony could arrive in a town and then blow it up in the same day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monday again!  
> Thank you so much for all the support for this story, it's nowhere near finished yet and the kudos and comments count are unbelievable, so thank you so much!!  
> No Warnings for this Chapter, just enjoy!

I awoke blearily with a yawn, tensing at the warm body pressed against my back, I stared out of the windows as memories of last night, Steve carrying me to his spare room, me waking him up in the middle of the night, me asking him to stay with me…

Heat rose to my cheeks as I rolled over, Steve was still sleeping soundlessly, and I took a second to study him.

He looked different, like a normal twenty seven year old, not troubled by the war or the loss of his friends.

He looked peaceful.

“You know it’s rude to stare,” He said without opening his eyes and I blushed as he looked up at me with a slight smile.

 _“Captain Rogers, Miss Lewis. Agent Romanoff is requesting your presence in the Common Room,”_ Jarvis said and Steve sighed, pulling himself up, he ran a hand through his hair as he reached for the door.

“Steve,” I called out softly and his hand paused on the handle. “Thank you, for last night,” I said.

“Your welcome, Sweetheart,” He said with a smile before disappearing, leaving the door ajar.

I pulled myself out of bed, straightening the covers slightly before following after him.

While each of the apartments in the tower were the same, they were also different.

Tony’s was bright reds and golds, with Pepper’s softer touches of caramel. Clint’s was mostly various shades of cream, with slight pieces of dark brown and black thrown in. With the occasional purple or red lamp. Thor’s apartment was still basic, Jane had moved a few things around and added her own personal items here and there, but most of it was off-whites and pale gold.

Steve’s living room was nice, the walls were a dark beige with soft looking black couches and a single armchair facing the wall of windows, but the armchair was positioned at a slight angle where whomever sat in it, would be in a position to see every exit in the room, with Steve’s shield propped up against the side.

A large bookcase ran along the interior wall, and as I briefly scanned over it, it had a large variety of books, some old and some fresh from the store.

Like Clint and Natasha, Steve had a desk, looking out at the city, it had a simple laptop and a stack of S.H.I.E.L.D. files neatly piled in a corner.

As I stepped further into the room I noticed some of the shelves and table tops had framed pieces of artwork on them.

Most of them were of people, people I’d seen old black and white photos of in history books and museums, but these pictures were carefully drawn and most were coloured.

A framed drawing of Bucky Barnes sat on the table, his dark brown hair looked as if he’d just ran his hand through it and there was a bright grin on his face that made his blue eyes shine.

The artist had taken time and careful precision in their work, the amount of detail was amazing and had I looked at it from across the room, I would have been sure it was a photograph.

My eyes drifted over to the other portraits. Peggy Carter, her hair in curls around her collar with a bright red lipstick that shone.

Howard Stark, Tony’s father, with a familiar cocky smirk under his moustache.

The Howling Commandos: Dum Dum Dugan with a dark green bowler hat, James Falsworth with a red beret, Gabe Jones with bright eyes and a smirk, Jacques Dernier looked older than the others, grey hair mixed in with his brown beard, Jim Mortia had a bright grin on his face, his cap sideways as if someone had just reached out and knocked it to the side.

These war hero’s that inspired people, generation after generation of children looked up to these soldiers and here they were on paper, looking just like any other person.

I jumped slightly at the sound of the door closing and spun round to see Steve had changed into a pair of jeans and a blue shirt.

“Can you do me a favour?” I asked as we stepped out of his apartment and into the corridor, walking towards the stairs.

“That depends,” He said, holding the door to the stair well open for me to step through first.

“Can you – can you please not tell Clint, Nat or Jane about last night?” I asked softly. “With Tony… Missing, they keep looking at me like I’m gonna break again. It’s just – They’re worrying for nothing,”

Steve seemed to hesitate before answering.

“Okay,” He said after a minute. “I won’t outright tell them. But Darce, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. We’re all here for you,” He said. _Until you get tired of me._ I thought cynically.

But I smiled at him as I stepped through the door to the common room. “Thanks Steve,”

.

We walked straight round to the dining room where we were met with multiple grim looks.

“Sit-rep,” Steve ordered in his Captain America voice.

“Pepper’s missing,” Natasha said grimly and my heart sank, “She never checked in this morning. Nobody can get hold of her. She was seen on this surveillance camera with Maya Hansen going into a hotel,” Natasha bought up a holographic image of a slightly battered Pepper walk into a hotel room with a brunette. “The picture goes grainy a half hour later,” She fast forwarded to show just a screen full of snow. “And then we see Hansen leave looking like she’s arguing with someone off camera,” We watched as someone grabbed her arm and yanked her off screen. “They managed to avoid every other camera. They must have gone out of a fire escape. Nobody saw Pepper leave the building,”

Steve ran a hand through his hair wearily.

“I need to make a call,” He said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and walking over to the bar.

I let out a long sigh, leaning against the counter for a minute, my head in my hands.

I jumped slightly at a hand on my back.

 _Sorry._ Clint signed as I looked up and I just shook my head. _Do you want to talk about it?_ He asked.

 _‘What’s there to talk about? There’s nothing you can do.’_ I replied, my hands moving swiftly through the air.

 _‘S.H.I.E.L.D. has intel that suggests that Tony might still be alive.’_ My eyes widened as I stood up properly.

 _‘Are you serious?’_ I asked.

 _‘It’s not definite,’_ He said. _‘But there was a report that something fell out of the sky in Tennessee yesterday, witness reports suggest it might have been a suit. Several hours later there was an explosion similar to the one at the Chinese theatre.’_ He explained and I smiled.

 _‘Only Tony could arrive in a town and then blow it up in the same day.’_ I said and he snorted.

“Damn straight,” He said aloud and I laughed slightly.

“What can we do?” I asked, taking the cup of coffee he offered with a smile of thanks.

Clint glanced over at Steve who seemed to be having a very heated phone conversation across the room.

“We wait,” He said.

.

The morning passed painfully slowly, I curled into the corner of the conversation pit, with my StarkPad, scrolling through social media accounts, searching for something, _anything_ of Tony or Pepper.

There was nothing but panic and speculation.

Questions ranging from:

_If Stark is dead why has Pepper Potts or anyone at Stark Industries or the Avengers Tower not made a statement to confirm this?_

to

_How much was Starks house in Malibu worth before it fell off a cliff?_

I gave an aggravated sigh and carried on scrolling, a lot of people were demanding a statement from either S.H.I.E.L.D. or Stark Industries, and some people were wanting an inside view of what was happening inside the tower.

“Anything new?” Jane asked dropping down next to me. Neither her nor Bruce had been back to the labs since Tony has gone missing.

“No,” I sighed, tossing the tablet to the side. “Everyone’s just demanding a statement from Pepper or S.H.I.E.L.D. neither of which are in a position to give a statement,” I said, my eyes drifting back up to the TV which was currently re-playing clips of Tony.

His “I am Iron Man” speech.

Handing over CEO to Pepper.

First Press Conference with the Avengers.

Maria Stark Foundation balls.

To his house sliding off of a cliff face, crashing into the ocean.

“Why don’t you do it?” Jane asked, and I looked up at her in confusion.

“Do what?”

“Release a statement,” She clarified and I laughed slightly.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Natasha said from her place on the piano stool, a file in her hands. “It’ll lower the panic level, and keep the media away for a while, you should do it,” 

“Me? I’m not qualified!” I said, looking over at her as if she’d just grown a second head.

“You have a major in Political Science and a minor in Digital and Social Media,” Natasha said offhandedly. “You’re qualified,”

“Not in journalism!” I protested. “And please, stay out of my file,”

Tasha gave a slight shrug. “You studied the Media and journalism as part of your Digital and Social Media Minor. You’re qualified enough to release a statement,”

I sighed. “Okay. Fine,” I said. “I’ll write up a draft,”

I grabbed my tablet back up. _It's better than doing nothing._                     

.

I got halfway through writing a draft that I was kind of happy with, when the alarm rang out.

The ‘Assemble’ alarm blared through the tower.

Steve, Tasha, Clint and Bruce all stood, moving to the dining table where a hologram appeared. Jane and I trailed slightly behind them.

“Jarvis? Sit-rep?” Cap said, his eyes narrowing at the live feed of Air Force One.

 _“Reports are coming from Air Force One that the Iron Patriot is attacking personnel on board,”_ Jarvis said.

“Is it Rhodes?” Clint asked.

_“Negative. The readings coming from the suit are not matching to Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes’ vital signs. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes has not contacted anybody since his mission in Afghanistan yesterday,”_

“Happy’s in hospital, Pepper’s missing and now Rhodey,” Natasha said. “This isn’t a coincidence. The Mandarin is targeting people close to Tony,”

“They could have just wanted the armour,” Clint said, Tasha pulled a doubtful face.

“Jarvis, was the President on board?” Steve asked.

 _“I have conformation that President Ellis is still on the plane,”_ Jarvis said. Tasha said something angrily in a language I couldn’t understand.

We watched as someone flew out of the plane.

 _“The Iron Patriot suit has left the plane,”_ Jarvis said.

Something else shot across the picture, too fast for the satellite to focus on it.

I bit my lip while we watched helplessly as something blew a hole in the side of the plane, sending people flying down towards the ocean.

“A drop like that, at that speed, they won’t survive,” Clint said quietly.

Something flew out of the side of the plane, a streak of red and gold as Air Force One exploded.

“Was that –?” I broke off hopefully as the Iron Man suit caught a passenger.

The person he was holding reached out grabbing another, and another. One by one the thirteen people came together, Iron Man hovered over the water before dropping them gently into the water.

Tasha zoomed the satellite in to see all thirteen people safely in the water, cheering up at the familiar Hot Rod red suit.

“Jarvis, confirmation on who’s flying the suit?” She asked.

 _“I can confirm that Sir is in complete control of the suit,”_ Jarvis said.

I laughed grinned, watching as he waved to the people before flying backwards, a truck hitting into the suit, splitting the empty shell across the highway.

“Jarvis?” Steve asked, his voice quiet.

 _“I can confirm Sir was controlling the suit remotely. He was never actually on Air Force One,”_ Jarvis said and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Jarivs, can you track the Iron Patriot suit?” Steve asked.

 _“Indeed. It may take a while,”_ He said.

“Okay, send the location down to the Situation Room,” Steve said, he turned to me. “That statement would be better sooner rather than later,” He said.

I nodded. “On it,” I turned back to my tablet, my fingers flying over the screen as I followed them into the elevator, not paying attention as the doors closed and thirty seconds later we stepped out onto the Situation floor.

I briefly glanced up, this was one of the few floors I hadn’t been on.

We walked past a locker room, a large conference room, what looked like a TV studio and we turned into a large situation room. The windows were filled with holograms on the current situation with several computers in front.

A large conference table sat behind the computers and I slid into a chair, propping my StarkPad in front of me to read over my work.

_12-24-2012 – 19:56_

_In light of recent events a lot of speculation has been thrown around regarding the televised attack on Tony Starks Malibu mansion yesterday. After a thorough search of the wreckage which Miss Potts walked away from, no trace of a body was found._

_Following the events in Malibu an Iron Man suit was seen rescuing all personnel from the aircraft. We have confirmation that Tony Stark was controlling the suit and is in fact alive. We can also confirm that Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes was not the one in the Iron Patriot armour when it attacked Air Force One, his current location is unknown, although we do have every reason to believe that he is with Stark._

_In regards to the Avengers Tower which is still in total lockdown for the safety of the Civilians living there, I can confirm that the rest of The Avengers are currently aiding all Agencies in finding the President and returning him home safely for Christmas._

I slid the tablet over to Natasha who scanned through it and gave a satisfied nod.

“This is good,” She said and I looked down as heat rose to my cheeks. “Post it on Facebook, the media will take it from there. Don’t add your name or anything,” She said, sliding the tablet back across to me.

I nodded. Jarvis gave me access to the official Facebook page and I posted the statement, glad to finally be doing _something._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? Indifferent? Lemme know!  
> Be sure to check out my tumblr and pinterest as always!


	21. Yup, Tony's Back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sir has activated the ‘Blank Slate’ protocol, triggering the termination of all Iron Man suits,” 
> 
> “Tell him he’s a fucking idiot,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry this is late (It's Tuesday here now, just about). I have had a really bad day, and I'm so glad I'm not having to see my family again for a while.   
> So, my apologies again and here it is...  
> Warnings: Talks of various degrees of Anxiety and Insomnia (Iron Man 3).

Several hours past and I watched the team move around, working in sync as they searched everything and anything for even the slightest trace of the President.

“Got something,” Natasha said, flicking a satellite image onto the big screen, the image showed several dozen Iron Man suits speeding across the country.

“How many are there?” Steve asked as everyone stared at the feed in shock.

 _“Forty. The suit at Air Force One was the Forty First,”_ Jarvis said. _“Sir has made four new suits since he arrived in Malibu,”_

“Fucking hell,” Clint muttered, running a hand through his hair. _He hadn't even been in Malibu that long..._  

“How many has he made since New York?” Natasha asked, her voice surprisingly gentle.

 _“36,”_ Jarvis said. _“37 if you include the Iron Patriot armour Sir made for Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes,”_

“Holy shit,” I breathed. In eight months he’d built _37_ new suits, each of them being better than the last. Plus he made my leg… “Has Tony actually left his lab since New York?” I asked. “I mean has he left the tower? Done anything with anybody outside of team nights?” Everyone stared at me blankly.

“After the clear up was finished, he just threw money at all the repairs. He never went to oversee them like everyone else did,” Bruce said quietly.

“Jarvis, have there been any particular incidents where Tony’s acted weird since New York?” I asked.

 _“My records show that Sir has had remarkable trouble sleeping in the past few months. He had an incident last week, my sensors suggested he had a severe anxiety attack,”_ Jarvis said, his voice sounded regretful.

“Jarvis, do you know where the suits are going?” Steve asked, drawing the conversation back to the topic at hand.

Jarvis zoomed in on a ship off the coast of Florida.

We watched the satellite footage closely.

Watching as the suits surrounded the ship.

It was hard to keep up with what was happening, smoke clouded the images as the repolsor beams hit oil tanks causing them to blow up.

“Jarvis can you put us through to Stark?” Steve asked.

 _“Negative. Sir seems to have lost his earpiece,”_ Jarvis said.

The fight seemed to break up, the suits were circling the ship, searching for any survivors.

They stilled in midair before one by one they blew up, sending sparks and pieces of metal everywhere, they looked like fireworks around the ship.

“Jarvis?” Steve asked, alarm evident in his voice.

 _“Sir has activated the ‘Blank Slate’ protocol, triggering the termination of all Iron Man suits,”_ Jarvis said, a hint of relief lacing his calm voice.

“Tell him he’s a fucking idiot,” I said, though I couldn’t help but smile in relief.

 _“Aw, c’mon Lewis! Just admit it, you missed me really!”_ Tony’s voice rang through the room.

“Yeah, you said you were working on something for my leg. You don’t get to die until I know what it is!” I replied.

“Stark, sit-rep?” Cap cut in. Tony gave a weary sigh.

 _“The presidents secure. Rhodey has him and his armour back. Pepper killed Killian. She’s good too,”_ Tony said, everyone gave a consecutive sigh of relief. I made a brief note how he didn't mention himself.

“Pepper’s okay?” Natasha asked.

 _“She’s running a little hot. Bruce, buddy, you there?”_ He asked.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked, noting the anxiety in Tony’s voice.

 _“Jarvis is going to send you everything we know about the Extremis virus, you need to make an antidote or something to stabilize is as soon as possible,”_ Tony said.

Bruce was already reaching for a StarkPad, scrolling through the data.

Muttering under his breath.

“Pepper’s been injected with this?” He asked, an unusual dark look in his eyes.

_“Yeah,”_

“I’m on it. Let me know when your due back. I’ll need to run my own tests,” Bruce said, a slight green tinge across his face, his fists clenched. “Excuse me,” He said suddenly, walking briskly from the room.

 _“What was that?”_ Tony asked.

 _“Doctor Banner has just secured himself in his safe room,”_ Jarvis said.

 _“Huh,”_ Tony was silent for a second. _“So, we need an extraction and Rhodey says you’ll be here quickest,”_

Steve glanced over at Clint who was studying the map.

“We can be there in half an hour,” He confirmed.

“Does this mean I can lift the lockdown now?” I asked.

Steve glanced up at the screen for a second before nodding down at me.

“Yeah, threats been neutralized,” He said.

Letting out a breath of relief I brushed past the three Avengers, leaning over the keyboard that Jarvis supplied.

I zoned out of Tony and Steve cutting the call as I let my fingers fly across the keys.

_589-621-65_

I hit enter on the authorization key, watching as the lights flashed before brightening back to normal.

 _“Lockdown lifted,”_ Jarvis said smoothly as the doors unlocked. _“Normal protocols have been resumed,”_

Several phones chimed through the room, catching up on several days’ worth of blocked messages and emails.

“Suit up,” Steve said to Clint and Nat. “We don’t know who’s gonna be in Florida,” he said, getting two sharp nods in return.

“Wheels up in five!” Clint called out as he followed Nat out of the room.

Jane and I headed back up to the common room watching as Steve, Clint and Nat boarded the quinjet.

Jarvis informed us that the Hulk was Bruce again and Betty had arrived and gone straight up to the labs.

I sat at the piano, absently playing random little melodies whilst keeping an eye on the hologram that was scrolling through social media and my emails, looking for anything relating to Florida, Tony, The Avengers or the President.

 _“Doctor Foster, Miss Lewis, the Avengers are 2 minutes out,”_ Jarvis announced, my head shot up as I moved over to the door. Vaugley aware that Jane had come to stand next to me.

We watched as the quinjet turned, touching down on the landing pad.

The ramp dropped down and we watched as Pepper appeared first, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders probably more for decency as she seemed to be dressed in just a sports bra and shorts.

Tony had hold of her hand, as they walked down the ramp, flanked by and Steve. Clint and Tasha trailing behind them.

The door opened and Pepper and Tony stepped inside, I bit my lip, resisting the urge to hug them.

Tony looked a little banged up, a cut on his forehead and he was covered in ash but seemed to be okay.

Pepper, Pepper looked pretty good. Her hair was a little messy and she too was covered in soot, but she seemed unharmed, not a mark on her other than a strange red glow on parts of her skin.

“I’m glad you’re both okay,” I said, with a small smile.

“Aw, I knew you missed me really,” Tony said as both Pepper and I rolled our eyes.

“I read your statement,” Pepper said. My eyes widened. _Was I out of line to post it? Should I have left it alone?_ “It was really good Darcy. Thank you,” She said with a warm smile, the hint of something that looked like pride in her eyes.

Heat rose to my cheeks as I looked down.

“It really wasn’t that good. Tasha said it would help people calm down so I –,” I said.

“Darcy,” Pepper cut my rambling off gently. “Thank you,” She stressed.

I smiled softly.

“You’re welcome,” I replied

 _“Sir, Doctor’s Banner and Ross are requesting both yours and Miss Potts’ presence in the lab,”_ Jarvis announced.

A look of worry crossed Pepper’s face as Tony gave a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Science is calling!” He said, tugging Pepper towards the elevator. “By the way, we’ve ordered some food, Rhodey said we’ve missed Christmas dinner and that nobody got to have it, so he’s gonna be here later for that. Apparently it’s important,” He called over his shoulder with a vague wave of his hand.

With that they stepped into the elevator and seconds after the doors slid close ACDC blared through the towers speakers.

“Yup,” I said, looking between everyone’s exasperated expressions. “Tony’s back,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to update my Tumblr and Pinterest tomorrow, so be sure to check those out then.  
> Thank you once again to all those who left Kudos and have Commented, I don't think much of my writing and am amazed by the response I've been getting.


	22. For Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays from The Avengers Tower!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is late, things have been a little bit crazy, but here it is, and as compensation this is a slightly longer chapter than usual.  
> No chapter warnings needed for this, Yay!  
> Enjoy...

Several hours later between Clint, Tasha and I we had assembled something that looked relatively like Christmas dinner for 10 people, including a Super soldier and the Hulk.

Rhodey had arrived in time to help Steve set the table as Jane drew our names out on little pieces of card, indicating the seating arrangement.

 

Apparently Maria would drop by later but she couldn’t make dinner for some reason.

While food was cooking everyone took turns to go back to their apartments and shower.

I took a quick shower, drying and curling my hair, letting it hang in loose ringlets around my shoulders.

I pulled on a dark red dress with gold detailing around the neck. It hung just above my knees and I slid on a pair of black flats.

Standing in front of the mirror I let my fingers drift over Jakes dog tags.

“Chag sameach, big bro,” _Happy Holidays._ I muttered with a soft smile before dropping the dog tags under my dress and reaching for my lipstick.

.

I stepped back into the common room, walking straight through to the kitchen where Tasha was sitting on the counter next to the stove, a hand running absently through Clint’s hair as he leant against her legs whilst stirring a pan full of vegetables.

Pepper was sitting at the breakfast bar, she’d changed into a pair of black denim shorts and a white blouse, there was still a faint blush across her cheeks but other than that she looked okay. She was furiously typing on a sleek white Stark Laptop a look of concentration on her face.

Tony stood next to her, talking about something or other, waving his hands around as he spoke.

Steve and Rhodey, like Pepper, were sitting on stools while Jane was perched on the edge of the breakfast bar, swinging her legs as she listened to Tony.

“Done,” Pepper said, cutting through Tony’s explanation of… Whatever he was explaining. “Everything’s booked for New Year’s eve,”

Tony smiled.

“The Maria Stark Foundation is having a ball at New Year,” He said. “You are all invited,” As if on cue mine, and everyone else’s phones chimed.

“Thank you,” Jane said. “But I’ve got a flight booked for London on the 29th and I won’t be back til the 2nd,”

“What’s in London?” Tony asked. Pepper rolled her eyes at his bluntness.

“My mom lives there,” Jane said but didn’t elaborate. Pepper smiled at her.

“Stark Industries is going to use the occasion to announce the start of its research on robot prosthetics,” She explained. “It’s also good for everybody,” She glanced at Tony.

_With everything that had happened in the past year, a Stark social event would help settle everything down. Assure everyone that things were going back to normal._

The glass panel above the cooker beeped, a light flashing red.

Clint turned the stove off as Tasha hopped off the counter, pulling the oven door open, effectively silencing the timer.

“Okay, foods ready, - Here Jane can you take this, thanks – Go sit down,” Clint said, as he handed Jane a dish of vegetables.

I took my allocated space at the end of the table, between Steve and Clint, watching as the latter carried the turkey on a silver tray, he hesitated, as if unsure on where to set it, he looked up at Tony.

“Give it to Capsicle,” Tony said sitting the opposite end of the table to Steve.

Steve carved the turkey and food was dished out.

“So,” Natasha said turning pointedly to Tony, Pepper and Rhodey. “You threatened a terrorist, your house fell off of a cliff, then disappeared for nearly forty eight hours, then reappeared in time to blow up Air Force One. All in the space of five days. How?” She asked, disbelief clear in her voice.

“C’mon, like you haven’t done worse,” Tony said and Natasha paused, looking at Clint.

“Don’t even think about mentioning it,” She said, a deadly hint to her voice, Clint merely smiled, holding his hands up in defence. She turned back to Tony. “This isn’t about me though,” She said.

Tony sighed.

“Well…” As we ate, we listened as he explained what happened with Aldrich Killian and how he created and used the Extremis virus. Then how he created the Mandarin, who was actually a drunk actor from England. Rhodey filled everyone in on losing the Iron Patriot suit, to saving the President.

Tony finished the story by giving a very long description of how Pepper saved his life and took out Killian. “It was really her. I’m not taking the credit for her saving everybody,” He concluded casually as Pepper rolled her eyes.

I gave a low whistle.

“Whoever said Christmas was boring,”

.

Everyone helped clear up after dinner, and everyone moved to the couches by the window that were around the Christmas tree.

I dropped down onto a leather couch next to Steve.

“I think I’ve eaten more than I normally do in a week,” I complained, a hand resting on my stomach.

Don’t get me wrong, food is my best friend, but four portions of Christmas dinner… Maybe not.

The elevator flashed and I glanced up as Maria stepped out. Dressed in a nice red shirt and black jeans and heels. Her hair out of its usual bun, hung in light curls around her shoulders.

She marched across the room, glaring at Tony.

“The amount of paperwork _I_ have to do because _you_ went off the radar and ‘died’ is ridiculous. If you ever do that again, I will kill you,” She threatened. Tony’s eyes widened and he nodded. Maria’s glare disappeared as she turned to smile at everyone. “Happy Christmas,” She said, dropping down on the other side of Pepper.

Presents were passed out between everyone and I swear I’ve seen five year olds make less mess, as paper was thrown everywhere and at everyone and it ended with everyone having a pile of unwrapped presents next to them.

All that was left was nine sleek black, unwrapped boxes left under the tree, which Tony knelt next to and proceeded to hand around.

Although all of the boxes were blank, he seemed to know exactly which one was for whom.

He handed me an A4 sized box before sitting back down.

“Open them one at a time. Lewis first,” He said waving his hand impatiently at me.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I pulled the lid off and looked down at the contents.

Laying in the foam was a long thin piece of metal, it looked the same as the metal on my leg, and had half a dozen pieces linked together.

I looked up at him in confusion.

“It’s for your leg,” He said making grabby hands for the box, he sat on the arm of my chair, snatching the box out of my hands. He carefully lifted the device out, setting the box aside.

He laid the device vertically down my leg, the top part, ran over the converter and rested lightly against my skin, it stuck to my leg like a magnet, but I couldn’t feel it like a normal magnet. In fact, as the plates in my leg recalibrated, I couldn’t feel it at all.

Tony reached down, tapping the end on the converter and I gasped, watching as my leg recalibrated again, as the plates changed colour one by one.

They went from shining silver to fading back into my normal skin colour.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I looked down at my legs, side by side the only difference was a slight shine across my foot.

“Holy shit,” I heard Clint mutter, but paid little attention as I looked up at Tony.

“It’s only a prototype, so you can only wear it for eight hours max, but it’ll change with your skin tone, so if you tan or whatever –,”

I cut him off as I threw my arms around his neck. He jolted in surprise slightly, before awkwardly patting me on the back.

“Thank you,” I said. _Thank you for making me look normal!_

“No problem, kid,” He said as I pulled away, looking back down at my leg in awe, running my fingers over my knee.

It still felt like metal, I could feel the ridge of each hexagonal plate, but it _looked_ normal. I could go out in summer, wearing shorts or a dress and people wouldn’t stare. I could avoid the looks of sympathy and pity in the streets.

Tony moved back to his seat and turned their attention to Steve, who knelt on the floor next to a larger, square box.

He pulled the lid off to reveal his shield. He hesitated as his fingers brushed over the star.

“This isn’t mine,” He said, carefully lifting it from the box. Inspecting the back, where it normally had straps or a handle it had a strip of black metal.

“Nope. It’s new,” Tony confirmed. “It’s got an electromagnet on the back, another one on your suit, so when you do your Frisbee thing you won’t have to run after it, it will come back to you,” He explained.

“Like Thor and Mew-mew?!” I exclaimed.

“ _Mjölnir_ Darcy. It’s pronounced Mjölnir,” Jane stressed.

“Tom _-ay-_ to, Tom- _ah-_ to,” I said, waving my hand in indifference. She rolled her eyes as Tony snorted.

“Something like that,” He said.

“Thanks Tony,” Steve said, running his hand over the face of the shield again. “This is really great,” Something flickered across Tony’s face but he covered it up with a small smile and a nod.

Clint picked up a small black box, pulling the lid off, looking down at whatever was inside in surprise.

“How did you know?” He asked, looking at Tony then suspiciously between Natasha and I. “Did either of you –?”

I looked over at Tasha who looked just as confused as I did.

She leant over Clint’s shoulder looking down at whatever was the box, she smiled softly at whatever it was.

“Neither of them told me,” Tony said. “Is that the redacted part of your file?” He asked.

“Part of it,” Clint shrugged, still looking at him in confusion. “How did you know?” He asked again.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I leant over Steve to see, two thin hearing aids.

“Oh,” I breathed softly, dropping back down in my seat. That was one of Clint’s biggest secrets, his hair was short, but just long enough to cover the top of his hearing aids. In a loud room he took extra time to focus on people’s lips, just to be sure he didn’t miss anything.

When around the elevator he always made sure he could see the light flash so nobody surprised him.

Tony just shrugged.

“If you put them in, Jarvis can calibrate them. They use mini arc reactors giving them endless power and they have the same sensors as Darcy’s leg, making them invisible,” He explained. “They also have a built in comm system, so you don’t have to switch them for missions," 

Clint pulled out his current hearing aids, taking extra care as he slid the new ones in. From here I could see a blue light flash in his ear before the whole thing disappeared.

He jumped slightly, and winced.

“The left ones louder,” He said, his voice quieter than usual. Jarvis must have done something to him because he smiled. “Thanks Jarvis,”

Clint put his old hearing aids in the box, pressing the lid closed before looking up at the genius.

“Thanks, man, seriously,”

Tony nodded, before turning to Natasha.

“Natashalie?” He prompted nodding to the box.

She rolled her eyes at the stupid name, but complied.

Inside lay three gold different finger bracelets.

The first had a simple, thick gold bracelet with a black hourglass connecting the chain and two rings.

The second was a very thin chain, it had two bracelets connected by a gold Black Widow, a small hourglass engraved on it’s back, like the other bracelet the rings had a flat plate that would sit across the top of her fingers.

The third was the most different. It had three rings that had small studs on top, before dropping down onto the chains, linked to a simple chain bracelet by another small stud.

Like everyone else Natasha looked up at Tony in confusion. Jewellery wasn't really Tasha's thing.

“You can’t wear your Widow Bites with casual clothes, without it looking obvious. These each have three settings: one is like a sharp electric shock, the second is an EMP and the third is double an EMP. They’re designed so you won’t feel anything, but the other person will,” He explained quickly.

Natasha ran her fingers over the gold chain with a soft smile.

“Thanks Tony,” She said, snapping the lid closed.

Bruce got a new pair of pants, which would still fit after a Hulk incident.

Jane and Betty both got really technical lab equipment and I had no idea what it was or did, but they both seemed to love whatever it was.

Rhodey got a new suit, and as it closed around him, you could see the words War Machine in white print on the blue arm.

Rhodey just laughed, shaking his head as he thanked Tony.

Pepper lifted the lid of her box to reveal a silver Iron Man faceplate, she looked over at Tony with a questioning look.  

“It’s a suit,” He said, Pepper’s face fell slightly, causing Tony to look stricken. “Your suit. When the house… When you were in the suit, it didn’t work right because it was biometrically coded to me. This one. It going to be for you. So even with your extremis powers, you don’t have to use them. This will just get you out,” He looked up at her nervously.

Her face softened as she smiled. “I think that’s a great idea. Thank you, Tony,”

Tony sighed in relief.

The rest of the day passed in laughter and a surprising amount of fun.

As a joke present Clint had bought everyone varying models of Nerf guns, which he then proceeded to shoot everyone with.

Which in my opinion was totally unfair, because c’mon trained assassins (one of whom is the world’s greatest marksman) against an astrophysicist assistant, was totally not a fair fight! 

Jarvis took a group photo of everyone, and another one without Maria in that could be made public (something to do with being Deputy Director of a secret organisation meant not posting group pictures of you with Superheroes, whether they work for you or not).

 _“The picture without Agent Hill in has been posted to the Avengers Twitter and Facebook pages respectively,”_ Jarvis announced.

“What about Instagram?” I asked curiously.

 _“There is no official Avengers Instagram account,”_ He said. I frowned.

“It would be worth you all getting one. You wouldn’t even need to update it regularly. But it's good for the public image,” I commented. Pepper looked thoughtful before nodding.

“That’s a good idea. Jarvis, can you set up an Instagram account with the same settings as all other Avengers accounts please?” ­She requested.

 _“Certainly, Miss Potts. Would you like me to share this photo as the accounts first photo?”_ Jarvis asked.

“Please,” Pepper nodded.

We watched as the hologram showed the account being set up before posting the picture with the following caption:

_Happy Holidays from The Avengers Tower!_

And then a Christmas tree emoji.

I took a second to admire the picture. We were standing in front of the Christmas tree.

Tony, Pepper and Rhodey in the middle, smiling happily as if everything was fine.

Bruce stood next to them, his arm around Betty’s shoulder, both of them grinning happily.

Jane stood next to Betty, smiling in a way that was usually reserved just for Science.

Natasha and Clint were stood on their other side of the trio followed by Steve and I. Steve’s arm had been throw around my shoulders as I leant my head against his chest, laughing at something.

Staring at that picture I decided that it didn’t matter that I didn’t celebrate Christmas for religious reasons. From now on I would celebrate Christmas for this, for Family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seating Arrangement for dinner:  
> Steve  
> Darcy – Jane  
> Clint – Natasha  
> Betty – Bruce  
> Rhodey – Pepper  
> Tony
> 
> Chag sameach - Happy Holidays - Hebrew. Because traditional Jews don't celebrate Christmas they just say Happy Holidays around that time of year after Hanukkah. 
> 
> Make sure you check out my Pinterest and Tumblr, because there is going to be a couple of pictures from this chapter!!


	23. I Really Like You And...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can’t just wake up one day and decide to have open heart surgery. It doesn’t work like that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S MONDAY!!! (just...)  
> So, lot's and lot's of Steve x Darcy in the next few chapters!! It's also a little bit all over the place, because I have lost my notebook that has all of my plans and drafts in, so everything is a little bit bumpy at the moment!   
> Also...  
> THAT CIVIL WAR TRAILER!!!   
> I won't spoil anything, but... This movie is going to kill me!   
> Chapter Warnings: Darcy Panics a little at the end, but it's nothing major.

The next morning I stepped into the common room and stopped short at the sight of Steve, Natasha and Bruce all glaring up at the ceiling.

“You can’t just wake up one day and decide to have open heart surgery. It doesn’t work like that!” Bruce exclaimed in frustration.

 _“Sir has hired the services of the best surgeon in the country,”_ Jarvis said.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion.

“What is happening?” I asked, looking to Clint who was perched on the kitchen counter, a scowl on his own face.

“Stark, Pepper and Rhodes flew to California in the early hours of the morning so Stark could have the shrapnel and Arc Reactor removed from his chest,” He said and my eyes widened in alarm.

“Jesús follando cristo! ¿Está realmente en serio?” I blurted out. _Jesus fucking Christ! Are you actually serious?­_

Natasha thrust her hand in my direction. “ _See!_   _That_ is a normal reaction to this situation!” She exclaimed.

Steve paused. “I don’t actually know what she just said,” He admitted. Tasha rolled her eyes.

“It doesn’t matter. The point is he can’t just have heart surgery and not tell anybody!” She said, folding her arms stubbornly.

_“Miss Potts has informed me that Sir is out of surgery and is expected to wake up soon. It appears to have gone well,” Jarvis said. “His doctors have said if he spends the day in recovery without a problem, he should be able to be discharged tomorrow”_

Steve sighed as Bruce ran a hand over his face.

Tasha on the other hand muttered something in a language I didn’t understand, before storming towards the elevator.

“I’ll be in the gym,” She yelled out, just before the doors slid closed.

Clint let out a long breath before hopping off of the counter.

“I should go and make sure she isn’t rigging something to kill Stark when he comes home,” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked to the stairwell. “If you don’t hear anything in three hours, come and collect my body,”

I snorted, watching as the door closed.

“I’m – I’m going to join Betty and Jane in the labs,” Bruce said following Clint’s path to the stairwell, clearly sensible enough not to go in the elevator after a pissed off Natasha.

I stared at the door for a minute before mentally shaking myself.

“I need coffee,” I declared, turning to the coffee machine, where thankfully a jug sat ready. “Wanna cup?” I asked glancing up at Steve as I poured my own.

“Er, yeah, please,” He said, leaning his elbows on the Island as he ran a hand wearily through his hair.

I smiled sympathetically as I slid a mug of coffee towards him. He gave a small smile in thanks, adding cream as I added the usual seven sugars to my own.

“So, I was thinking, about this ball for New Year,” Steve straightened up, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. I raised an eyebrow. _Is he – Was he nervous?_ “I was wondering, what with Jane not going to be here. I really like you and... waswonderingifyou’dgowithmeasmydate?”

My eyes widened in surprise as it took me several seconds to process what he’d said.

“Oh,”

Steve must have taken my surprise as something negative because he quickly backtracked.

“If you don’t want to that’s fine, I just –,”

“Hey, Steve!” I cut off his ramblings. He broke off, looking at me in shock. I smiled softly. “I’d love to go with you,” I said, reaching up on tip toes I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting my lips brush over his cheek before pulling away.

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he grinned.

“Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go and get Jane to eat actual food and sleep before she goes to see her mom,” I said, grabbing my coffee. I shot him one last smile over my shoulder before pushing the door to the stairwell open.

I let it swing shut behind me and leant back against it for a second, clutching my coffee cup tightly, not caring that it was burning my hand.

_He asked me to go with him to the – but he was – Steve actually –_

I practically ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, careful not to spill my coffee as I slammed the door open to the labs.

“I think Captain America just asked me on a date,” The words left my mouth before I could stop them and louder than I intended.

So getting not just Janes attention but Bruce, Betty and several lab assistants staring at me in shock.

“Well it’s about bloody time,” Jane said breaking the silence before turning back to the machine as if I hadn’t said anything.

I gaped at her for a second, scrunching my face up in confusion before continuing forward.

“What do you mean ‘it’s about bloody time’?” I asked, putting my coffee on her desk as I stopped in front of her.

“You’ve been pining over each other for months,” She said bluntly, nudging me to the side to move to another machine.

I stared at her for a second before following.

“I have not been pining over anybody and Steve certainly hasn’t been pining over me. He’s Captain _freaking_ America he’s probably only asking me out because everyone else is going in couples, he probably just doesn’t want to go on his own, he just feel sorry for me. Maybe I shouldn’t go –” I rambled, only stopping as Jane flicked my forehead. “Ow!”

“Darcy, I know you won’t believe me when I tell you this now, and that’s okay. But listen to me, okay? Steve cares about you, he really does like you and he respects you greatly. He would never ask you out just because he feels sorry for you, and I can guarantee he’d rather go with you than anybody else in the world right now.   
“And if you _really_ don’t want to go with him, for your own reasons, not because you’re worried what he thinks. Then I promise you he will respect you enough to accept that and move on,” She spoke softly, but a hard determination in her voice that never wavered. She brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “He’s not going to hurt you like _that_ Darcy, I swear to you,” She breathed softly, tears burned my eyes as I tried to blink them away. “And if he ever does anything to make you uncomfortable, just remember that there’s an entire tower of people who will kick his ass for you,”

She gave a reassuring smile before pulling me tightly into her arms, her hand on the back of my head as I let myself shrink into her tiny frame.

After several minutes I managed to compose myself and step back with a slightly forced smile.

“Thanks Janey,” I said. “I’m gonna go get some air,”

With one last smile I turned and walked back to the stair well.

As I walked mechanically down the stairs something rang through my brain on repeat.

_“…I really like you…”_

_“…He really does like you…”_

I carried on walking aimlessly down the stiars, thinking about my relationship with Steve.

_Since I’d moved into the tower he’d been there, while I was waiting for my leg to be built he’d been there with me, both in the hospital and while I was “resting”. After I got my leg he’d patiently helped me with physio. Then there was Jake’s death._

_After Jake died I kind of just broke, some days I did nothing and some days I wanted to do everything, though mostly it was the first._

_Steve had spent almost every day with me._

_He’d had an endless amount of patience as I pushed myself to far in the gym, he held me as I sobbed and screamed for my brother, he’d make me eat, get me to watch a movie, tell me stories about Bucky and before the war, and then he made me leave the tower to go ice skating._

_I was broken and he helped me put the first few pieces back._

_Then when Tony had gone missing, he’d taken me to his apartment because I didn’t want to be alone. He’d held me as I woke up screaming at three in the morning. He stayed with me the rest of the night, just providing comfort and not asking anything in return._

_I’d spent the last seven months seeing him almost every day, and now I couldn’t what I’d do without him._

I stopped dead, my eyes widening with realisation.

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed, panic building in my chest before sprinting down the last four flights of stairs to the gym.

_Shit!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesús follando cristo! ¿Está realmente en serio? - Jesus fucking Christ! Are you actually serious? - Spanish.
> 
> Also, I'm writing little snippets and one shots from this story. Are there any scenes you'd like to see from another person's point of view? Two characters meeting?   
> The first chapter should go up tomorrow or the day after, so lemme know. I can't guarentee I'll be able to do all of them straight away. It depends on what my muse gives me!   
> As always thank you so much for your support, it means so much to me!  
> Don't forget to check out my Pinterest and Tumblr! I now also have a Marvel Instagram (I'm total trash) - @sgt.bucky_barnes


	24. Your Turn To Listen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m willing to give this a go if you are?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's technically still Sunday here so, have this a little early.  
> People waiting for Steve x Darcy I think you're going to like the end of this.  
> People wanting Nat and or Clint to talk to Darcy and help her, I think you're going to like this.  
> People who like communication in a relationship (that should be everybody), you should like this.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Darcy has a panic attack at the beginning of this chapter, she also ignores the rules of a gun range which could be classed as dangerous use of a firearm. The second part of the chapter there is mentions of, Rape, psychological/physical abuse of a child, mentions homophobic Catholics, homelessness, Cancer, having sex whilst drunk and low self esteem.  
> None of it is detailed or explicit but the mentions are there.

I ran through the doors to the gym, only half noticing Tasha and Clint sparring, I moved straight to the range, the doors opening automatically and I moved to a shelf.

I methodically moved through the motions of grabbing a Glock 19, I checked everything, shoving a pair of ear protectors on my head, and grabbing a pair of targets.

I forced myself to take a breath before I fired.

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Bang._

I went through all fifteen rounds before reaching for a second magazine.

I jumped at a hand on my wrist, my head whipped round to meet Natasha’s steely gaze.

I dropped the gun on the table as she pulled my headset off.

“What is going on?” She asked, her voice hard. Making it clear she was well aware of the several rules regarding the towers range that I’d just broken.

I opened my mouth to answer but struggled to find the right words. I shook my head, I reached back for the gun but Natasha pulled my hand away, spinning me around to face her.

“Darcy, you’re angry and scared right now. I’m not letting you pick that gun back up until you tell me what’s happened,” She said, after several seconds without my reply, she tugged of my glasses, tossing them on another table, as her grip on my wrist slackened as she gripped my shoulder, leading me out of the range, I was half aware of her muttering something as I slid down the wall.

Tasha’s face levelled in front of me.

“малютка you need to focus. I want you to count for me okay. In Russian, one to ten. Then Spanish. Then German,” She said. “Say it after me okay?”

“Один,” She started. _One._

“О – один,” I stuttered, struggling to take a breath.

“Два,” _Two._

“Два”

“Три,” _Three_ _._

“Три,”

“Четыре,” _Four_ _._

“Четыре,”

“Пять,” _Five_ _._

“Пять,”

“Шесть,” _Six_ _._

“Шесть,”

“Семь,” _Seven._

“Семь,”

“Восемь,” _Eight_ _._

“Восемь,”

“Девять,” _Nine_ _._

“Девять,”

“Десять,” _Ten._

“Десять,”

“Good, Малютка. Now Spanish. Do this on your own, you know this. Contar, Darcy,” Her voice had lost the hard edge, as she let me clutch her hands. _Count._

“U – uno, D – dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez,” As I focused on each number, I hardly noticed as I started breathing relatively normal again and I could focus on Nat properly again.

“That’s really good Darcy. Now German,”

My mind reeled for the right number in the right language.

“Eins… Z – zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn,” Half way through I seemed to stop struggling, finishing the last four numbers more confidently.

I sat up straighter, trying to get my bearings, taking another deep breath. I was sitting below the window outside the range, Natasha was crouched in front of me, and my hands clutched hers tightly.

“You back with me?” She asked and I nodded, getting a soft smile in return. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

“Steve, I – er – he er –,” I stuggled to find the right words, I ran a hand through my hair, tugging it slightly.

Natasha took my hand back.

“Darcy, did he hurt you?” She asked, I heard something shift above us and I glanced up at the open vent, knowing Clint was eavesdropping.

My eyes widened.

“No, no. It’s nothing like that,” I assured them quickly. “He er – he asked me to go to the New Year’s Ball with him,” I blurted out quickly. “And I agreed.”

“I’m not seeing the problem,” She said, the hint of a smile on her lips.

“Because I actually like him!” I exclaimed in panic. Natasha’s eyes widened slightly in realisation.

“Oh,” She breathed. “When was the last time you were in a proper relationship?” She asked. “Casual sex doesn’t count,”

I paused, running a list of faces through my head.

_The blonde girl in New Mexico._

_The mechanic in New Mexico._

_The Norwegian women after New York._

_The mechanic in New Mexico._

_That guy at Culver._

_The other guy at Culver._

_What was her name? Tina? Tracey?_

“My second year at college. I dated a girl for a few months before she moved,” I said.

“What about before that? High School?” She asked and I shook my head.

Natasha sighed, brushing her hair out of her face.

“Darcy, have you ever been in a relationship with a guy?” She asked, I hesitated before shaking my head.

“I’ve had sex with them, but mostly it was a onetime kinda thing,” I said. “I met them in a club or in a bar somewhere when I’d drunk too much to remember their names,” I said with a shrug. _God that made me sound like a slut._

Nat glanced up at the vent briefly with a puzzled look, as if she tried to remember that.

“You’ve never had sex with a guy sober?” She clarified and I shrugged. _No._

I glanced up at the vent at the sound of shuffling, watching as Clint flipped down from the vent, before walking over to join us on the floor, for once he had a serious look on his face.

“Darce, when I first met you in that bar. You were terrified of me or the barman trying to touch you. You flinched every time until you’d had a few drinks,” He said carefully, as if choosing his words very carefully. But I already knew where this was going. “You don’t date or sleep with guys because you don’t trust them. Because you think they’re going to hurt you again,”

My eyes fixed on the floor as I pulled my knees tighter to my chest, snatching my hands away from Natasha, I clenched my jaw. _I will not cry. I will not cry._

“Jarvis, where’s Steve?” Clint asked and my head shot up in alarm.

 _“Captain Rogers is currently in his apartment,”_ Jarvis said.

“We can sit here all day and tell you that your safe and that you can trust Steve, but at the end of the day that’s really not going to help,” Natasha said, laying a soft hand on my arm. “You need to talk to _him_ Darcy. If you like him then that’s fine, if you don’t then that’s also fine. But you have a really great friendship with Steve, and you trust him as your friend because he’s never hurt you or tried to take advantage of you. If you go on a date with him, how much do you think that’s really going to change?” She asked softly.

“Go talk to him Darce. We’re with you no matter what you decide,” Clint added, reaching out he squeezed my hand slightly.

.

I stood outside Steve’s door nervously tugging on my hair.

“Ah what the hell,” I muttered after nearly ten minutes of hovering in the corridor. I reaching out to knock on the door.

Steve pulled it open, a look of surprise briefly crossing his face before he smiled, than frowned slightly as he took in the sight of me.

“Darcy, is everything okay?” He asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

“Can – can I talk to you?” I asked, mentally cursing myself at how small my voice sounded.

“Of course. Come in,” He said, holding the door open wider.

I slid into his apartment and he led me over to the couch, where I sat on the edge anxiously.

“I know I said I’d go to the ball with you, and I still want to,” I started nervously. “But I need to tell you some things, and you might not want to go with me after you hear them,”

Steve sat down in the arm chair, worry evident on his face.

“Okay,”

I closed my eyes for a second, forcing myself to take a deep breath, mustering up all of the courage I had before I started talking.

Once I started talking I found I couldn’t stop. I told him everything, my toxic relationship with my dad, my testing one with my mom, how Jake and I never used to be close.

I told him about the man in the woods, who stole my innocence when I was just twelve years old.

I carried on, ignoring his look of anger.

I explained how I came out, and how my Nan had screamed at me in the middle of the mall.

I spoke about the nights I’d spent on the streets, because my mom was sick and at seventeen between my medical bills and hers, I couldn’t balance a check book and lost everything.

How it was nearly two months before Jake and Mike had found me in a shop doorway when the temperature was below freezing. How they’d come to look for me because my doctors and mom’s had told him how I’d been missing appointments, and medical bills were behind.

How they’d helped me get back on my feet, and apply to Culver on an early application and how they supported me until I got my PhD.

I told him about my relationships with men and women, and a few that didn’t identify as either.

I told him how the only times I’d been intimate with a man I was drunk, because I didn’t trust myself enough not to freak out on them.

Then I finally rounded to the point.

“I’m scared Steve. Clint and Phil were the first men aside from Mike and Jake that I trusted. They earned my trust, and I could trust them because I knew none of them were interested in me sexually. The same when I came here. Tony is in a serious relationship with Pepper. Bruce with Betty. Thor was only interested in Jane. But then there was you…

“I need you to understand Steve, that I do trust you. I trust you with my life and that fucking terrifies me. Because I want to go to the ball with you because I really like you and I know you would _never_ hurt me. I don’t know how to have a relationship like that. I don’t know what to do or what to say.

“You could go out with any girl in the world, but you asked me and I don’t understand why because I am broken and you deserve better,” I broke off with a sob, burying my head in my hands.

I flinched slightly at a familiar hand on my arm as the couch dipped. I felt Steve wrap his arms around me as I was pulled from the couch cushions onto his lap as I buried my face in his chest.

He held me as I cried, he didn’t shush me or lie and say I was going to be fine. He just held me until I was ready.

After however long my sobs turned into hiccups and I wanted to pull away, but I couldn’t bear to look at him.

“Darcy? Sweetheart, look at me,” He shifted slightly so I was forced to pull away from his chest as he rubbed my back. I rested my feet on his thigh, trying to curl in on myself, doing everything but look at him.

A warm hand cupped my cheek, tilting my head up to look at him, he brushed a piece of hair over my shoulder, before letting his hand rest against my cheek.

“Your turn to listen now Doll. No interrupting,” He said, his other hand still rubbing comforting circles in my back. “You have been through so much bad in your life and I know nothing I say or do can ever change that. I understand why you have trouble trusting people, especially men, and you need to know that those feelings are completely valid. So many people have hurt you, and you didn’t deserve that, you _don’t_ deserve that.

“That fear you feel, that doesn’t make you weak. You face your fears every day and that makes you stronger than most people.

“And I tell you what else? It’s okay to not know what you’re doing. You have to do what feels right for _you._

“You’re right, maybe I could have any other girl in the world. But maybe I don’t want any other girl. Maybe I just want you. Because you are _not_ broken, you’re hurting. There’s a difference.

“You’re so kind to everyone, you’ve spent hours helping Tony, you noticed he wasn’t okay before any of us did. You spent time with Natasha and Clint outside of a training room to remind them they’re more than just the weapon they fire. You make sure Jane eats and sleeps, you make sure she takes breaks and doesn’t overdo it. You make sure Bruce doesn’t lose himself in his work, but you make him feel human.

“And when _I_ first met you I was lost, I was struggling with finding my place in this time. There are days when I think everything we do is for nothing, but then you come in and you’re like a light at the end of a very long dark tunnel. You don’t let us get lost in the fight, or in the media frenzy.

“You’re smart and kind and so beautiful. And even after everything you’ve been through, you have every right to hate the world, but you don’t. You still care, I’ve never seen you turn your back on anyone that needs help, no matter what it costs you.

“You’re worth so much more than you think, and I will tell you that every day for as long as you need to hear it and I will be as patient as you need me to be. But I am never going to abandon you for something in your past that you have had no control over,” He finished, and I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I listened to the sincerity in his voice. “I’m willing to give this a go if you are?” He asked.

My eyes fixed on his cool blue ones, searching for any hint of a lie, but coming up with nothing.

“I’m gonna screw up,” I pointed out, as another couple of tears dripped down my cheek

“So am I,” He said, pulling me closer as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He held me tightly in his arms as exhaustion settled in, and the last though before I passed out was: _I can breathe again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROGRESS!  
> So the counting is just the numbers 1-10 in Russian, Spanish and German respectively.  
> I've found that if I focus on a second language when I'm having a panic attack, I have to think about it more and it helps stop the panicking.  
> It doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me and now for Darcy.  
> Because it wasn't made tremendously clear. Darcy is Pansexual. This means that she's attracted to all genders, cis male/female, trans male/female and those who identify as neither.  
> Also, on the topic of her only having sex with guys when she was drunk. Yes they took advantage of her. But she did know what she was doing and understood that she was consenting to having sex with them. Either way, it's not healthy. DON'T do it!  
> As always thank you for the support, you have no idea how much it means!  
> As always check out my Tumblr and Pinterest and if there's any scenes you want to see in a snippets story lemme know, I have a list that I'm working through. The first one should be posted tomorrow!


	25. I'm Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s all about framing the face,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of all over the place so I apologise but it's nearly three thousand words so...
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Darcy has a Panic Attack in the elevator (it's becoming a recurring thing go with it). Mentions of Nightmares/flashbacks at the beginning but it's not described.

I ended up spending the rest of the day in Steve’s apartment, watching a variety of Disney movies (for some reason they’re banned from movie nights as per Natasha’s request, but nobody knew why).

We ordered Chinese for dinner and I laughed at the faces Steve would pull when he tried new foods.

We watched movies until nearly midnight and I was too tired to walk back up to my apartment so the last thing I remember is collapsing in Steve’s spare room.

Steve was there when I woke up screaming three hours later, he wrapped his arms around me, hushing me gently.

“You’re safe sweetheart. You’re in the tower. You’re safe Doll, I promise,” He said, stroking my hair back as I got my bearings back.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, I was – I’m sorry,” I muttered trying to pull away but he held me firmly in place.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” He assured me as he coaxed me to lay back down. “Go back to sleep,” He said softly, pulling the duvet back around me.

“Mmm, stay,” I mumbled, clutching at his shirt. He seemed to hesitate for a second before the bed shifted and his arms wrapped back around me.

I smiled sleepily, shifting so I could rest my head against his chest. The steady _thump, thump_ of his heart sending me back into a dreamless sleep.

.

 _“Captain Rogers, Miss Lewis. Agent Romanoff is trying to override the locks on your apartment door,”_ Jarvis said.

I groaned trying to bury my face further into my pillows and I felt Steve shift behind me.

“Tell her nobody’s here,” I muttered.

 _“I’m afraid she’s already gained access to your apartment,”_ Jarvis said.

“So much for these apartments being secure,” Steve said with a groan as he sat up, his arm still around my shoulders.

Before I could pull away the door swung open and Natasha stood there a very smug look on her face.

“I’m glad to see you _talked,”_ She said giving me a pointed look with a perfectly raised eyebrow.

“Urgh, it’s too early for that,” I said, throwing a pillow in her general direction as I pulled the duvet back over my head.

“Nuh uh,” Natasha said, yanking the duvet back. “You have to come and sort dresses. Plus Jane is leaving in a couple of hours, so if you want to see her off I suggest you get a move on. Also Clint is on his way to meet me and _you_ ,” She looked pointedly at Steve. “Probably don’t want him to find you here like this,”

I groaned as Steve took my hand, pulling me up to my feet.

“Alright, alright, I’m up,” I whined, stumbling back against Steve’s chest.

“Good,” Natasha said, taking my hand. “Let’s go,” She tugged me towards the door.

I groaned clinging onto Steve’s shirt as I reached up to kiss his cheek.

“Save me,” I stage whispered, he chuckled before Natasha pulled me out the room.

She dragged me up to my room, shoving me towards the bathroom as she helped herself through my kitchen cupboards.

I came out of the shower, dressing in a simple pair of leggings and a grey sweater over a simple black tank top.

I quickly dried my hair and did my make-up. Dabbing some extra concealer under my eyes, before applying an extra bright red lipstick, so people would hopefully be distracted from the dark circles.

“So…” Natasha started as she handed me a Black Widow travel mug, filled with steaming coffee.

“So what?” I asked, feigning innocence as I double checked my pockets.

Cell phone? _In my bra, check!_

Knife? _Right book, check!_

“You know what,” Tasha said, shooting me a knowing look as we walked out of my apartment. “You and Steve looked pretty cozy this morning and you spend most of yesterday with him. I’m going to take a wild guess and say your conversation went well?”

“It did,” I said softly. “I told him everything. Literally everything. It was the most terrifying conversation I’ve ever had. But – but it felt kinda good,” I admitted.

Tasha gave a soft smile as she reached out and squeezed my hand.

We walked through the common room, straight to the kitchen where Jane was sitting at the breakfast bar laughing at Clint who was flipping pancakes in extravagant ways.

“Morning,” I greeted as I slid onto the stool next to Jane. Grabbing a plate and a waffle from one of the plates that were already laid out.

“Morning,” Jane said, looking at me questioningly.

“I’m good,” I assured her. “What time are you leaving?”

“About an hour. Tony’s having someone drive me to the airport. He’s annoyed that I’m refusing to take his private jet, so he’s bought me a first class ticket and a chauffeur,” She said with a roll of her eyes.

 “Never try and deny a gift from Tony Stark,” I said with a slight laugh.

“I’m gonna try and fine Erik while I’m over there. Last I heard is that he’s in England waiting for something,” She said, her eyes flickered to Clint before she lowered her voice. “His family’s worried about him. He’s not been the same since Loki,”

I watched as Clint tense slightly, as if pretending he wasn’t listening.

Natasha snatched the frying pan out of his hand, saying something to him, to draw his focus back to here and now.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” I said, looking back to Jane.

The elevator flashed as Bruce, Betty and Steve came in, taking their seats at the counter.

Pancakes and waffles for breakfast turned into a “Who could flip the most pancakes and make the weirdest waffles” competition, which Jane won, declaring that “Science beats everything,”

 _“Doctor Foster, there is a car waiting in the garage for you. Your luggage has already been sent down,”_ Jarvis announced. _“Sir and Miss Potts wish you a safe flight,”_

“Thanks Jarvis,” Jane said, downing the last mouthful of her coffee, before pushing herself away from the counter.

Jane reached out, hugging Natasha, Clint, Bruce and Betty.

As she hugged Steve she hesitated, saying something too quietly for everyone else to hear, he gave a nod before she hugged him tightly again.

“You call me if you need _anything,”_ She said as she turned to me. “And I wanna hear all about this New Year party,”

“Yes Ma’am,” I said, rolling my eyes as she pulled me into her arms.

“Give him a chance, Darce,” She said softly, resting her chin on my shoulder. “I think he’s different,” I sighed, burying my face in her hair for a minute.

“That’s the problem,” I muttered. “I know he’s different.

.

Half an hour after Jane left Pepper appeared, ready to go.

Clint, who was avoiding calls from S.H.I.E.L.D. who were demanding some sort of paperwork decided to leave his cell phone in his apartment and trail after us as we got ready to leave.

The five of us piled into the elevator and I pressed myself into the back corner, trying to focus on the streets below.

_It’s just an elevator. The doors are going to open in a second and you’re going to be fine._

“Darcy,” I jumped at Clint’s soft voice, my eyes snapped to his before darting to the three closed walls and then back out of the window.

“Darcy, centrate en esto. Traduce lo que estoy diciendo y concentrate en mi voz,” Clint said. _Focus on this. Translate what I’m saying and focus on my voice._ “Estas en la torre y a salvo,” _You’re in the tower and you’re safe._

“Respira, Малютка,” Natasha said as Clint took my hand. _Breathe, Little One._

 _“Miss Lewis would you like me to stop the elevator?”_ Jarvis asked. I shook my head, squeezing Clint’s hand tightly as I dug my teeth into my bottom lip.

“Respira,” Tasha said. “Dentro y fuera,” _Breathe. In and out._

I forced myself to take a deep breath in.

_In and out. In and out. You’re safe._

After what seemed like forever the elevator stopped. The doors slid open but I was frozen to the spot.

Clint tugged me out of the elevator.

I focused on the garage.

_Big space. I can’t see the other wall. That door is open. I’m not trapped. I’m safe!_

I clutched Clint’s hand as I got my bearings.

_I’m safe!_

I winced at the sight of Natasha and Clint’s worried looks and I quickly dropped Clint’s hand.

“I’m sorry. I’m fine. Sorry,” I muttered, tugging at a strand of my hair.

“Hey, you’re okay Darce,” Clint pulled my hand away from my hair. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, loose enough that I could pull away if I wanted, but tight enough that I felt secure as I leant against his chest.

Tasha stood next to me, running a hand through my hair, pulling it back over my shoulders, she combed her fingers through it and twisted strands, but I paid little attention as I clutched at Clint’s shirt.

Nat finished whatever she was doing with my hair and dropped a braid down my back.

“Лучше?” Natasha asked. _Better?_ Rubbing my shoulder gently. “Зто нормально, если вам нужно еще минуту,” _It_ _’_ _s_ _okay_ _if_ _you_ _need_ _another_ _minute_ _._

I nodded, turning my face back into Clint’s shoulder.

_It’s just a shopping trip. You’re with Clint and Natasha. Maria’s meeting us there. You’re safe._

I reached my hand up to tug my hair and frowned, Natasha had pulled it all back away from my face.

“Nada de eso,” He chided gently, pulling my wrist away from my face. _None of that._

Every fibre in me screamed for me to just go back upstairs, go to the gym, shoot something and go back to bed. Anything but go out and deal with people.

“You should come with us,” Natasha said. “If you’re really uncomfortable then Clint will bring you back,” she suggested.

I glanced up at Clint who nodded in agreement.

“Okay,” I said hesitantly, pulling away slightly, wrapping my arms around myself.

Clint kept one arm around me and with the other he took Natasha’s hand as he lead us towards the SUV.

Dress shopping turned out to be quite fun. I was a little hesitant at first but after a half an hour of Clint trying on ridiculous hats and even a pair of heels I relaxed and let myself get caught up in the bright colours.

I tried on nearly two dozen dresses, all of them varying shades of red and gold, none of them seemed right.

Either the neckline didn’t hold my boobs or my leg wasn’t covered properly.

“Maybe I just shouldn’t go,” I said as I handed Maria the thirtieth dress back through the curtain.

“Nope. You’re going and we’re going to find you a dress,” She said, snatching the dress back.

“Here, try this one,” Tasha said, stepping into the changing room, not seeming to care that I was wearing nothing but a strapless bra and panties.

She helped me pull on a floor length red dress.

She pushed me round to face the curtain, she zipped up the top of the skirt and pulled the corset strings not so tight I couldn’t breathe, but tight enough to hold the girls in place.

“There,” She said, putting her hands on my shoulders, turning me to face the mirrors and my eyes widened slightly.

The top of the corset came higher than my breasts, making them look a normal size. The off the shoulders sleeves sat perfectly on my arms,

I ran my hands down, over the thin belt, which was made up of small detailed gold leaves that twisted together perfectly.

The long skirt fell off my hips perfectly as it pooled on the floor around my feet.

“It’s perfect,” I breathed. Natasha smiled softly.

“Я же вам говорил .” She said. _I told you so._

Maria’s head appeared around the curtain and she smiled before yanking the curtain back.

“That’s the one,” Pepper said, an air of finality in her tone as Clint let out a low whistle from where he was leaning against a shoe rack, a pair of red heels in his hand.

“Try these,” The shop assistant, Sally said holding out a pair of gold heels.

Natasha held my arm as I slid my feet into them, buckling them up.

As I stood back up, the dress no longer pooled around my feet, it now hung an inch from the floor.

I grinned, looking down at myself. _It was perfect._

Pepper refused to let me look at any of the prices as she paid for the dress, shoes and a purse.

Maria, Pepper and Betty headed straight back to the tower with all the shopping while Clint dragged us straight to Sephora.

“Why are we here?” I asked as Natasha and Clint both pulled up their hoods.

“Because Nat’s out of the good eyeliner,” He said and I raised an eyebrow as Tasha rolled her eyes.

“Why are you so interested in Natasha’s make-up?” I asked as he led us over to the shelves of makeup.

“Nat doesn’t like doing fancy make-up for things like galas and undercover ops,” Clint said. “I, on the other hand, once spent six months undercover as a make-up artist, it was quite fun!” He mused.  Holding a bottle of foundation up to Tasha’s face, narrowing his eyes critically. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You were a make-up artist?” I asked.

“Yup. Brows, eyes, lips,” He said, waving a hand over Natasha’s face vaguely. “It’s all about framing the face,”

We ended up buying a ridiculously large basket full of make-up as Clint declared he was going to do mine for the ball and I had no say in it what so ever.

By the time we made it back to the tower it was already dark and Jarvis informed us that Pizza was waiting in the common room.

Dinner passed in bad reality TV that Clint insisted Steve watch.

And slowly everyone started heading off to bed, making me hesitate.

I didn’t really want to be on Jane’s floor on my own… I could ask Natasha or Clint if I could sleep in their spare room like last time Jane was away, but that would just bother them, right?

Steve? He’s let me stay in his spare room for a couple of days, but we were just making progress and if I kept waking him up at 3am he’d regret the whole thing.

“Hey,” Steve squeezed my hand slightly as Natasha disappeared into the kitchen as she was yelling at Clint. “You’re welcome to stay in my apartment if you want,” He offered lightly. My eyes widened slightly.

“Really? I can go back to my apartment. I’ll be fine –,”

“Darcy,” He cut me off. “It’s okay. I don’t mind,” He assured me.

I smiled softly.

“Thanks, Steve,” I said. “Is it okay if I run up to my apartment and grab something to sleep in and stuff?”

“You don’t need my permission, Doll,” He said nudging me to stand up. I hesitated.  _I don't need his permission._

I blushed brightly, but smiled, I reached out pecking his cheek before bouncing up the steps.

“Night Tash, Night Clint,” I called out as I walked over to the stairs.

“Night Cookie!”

“Night Малютка!”

I raced up the stairs to my apartment, grabbing some shorts and t-shirt pyjamas and my toothbrush.

I walked at a much more reasonable speed to Steve’s floor.

I stepped out of the stairwell at the exact same time the elevator doors slid open.

Steve disappeared into his room as I slid into the spare room’s ensuite quickly changing and brushing my teeth, leaving my clothes neatly folded on the counter in the bathroom. I quickly re-braided my hair, tying it off and dropping it down my back.

I stood awkwardly by the bathroom door, my folded knife clutched in my hand not really sure what to do with it as I pretended to check emails until Steve stepped back into the room wearing a pair of sweatpants and a grey t-shirt.

I tossed my cell on the nightstand, tugging my sleeves.

“What is it?” Steve asked, brushing a strand of hair that had already escaped my braid behind my ear.

“Will you stay with me? You don’t have to. I just sleep better if you’re here,” I said, heat rising to my cheeks as I looked down at the floor, clutching the knife harder as I tugged on the end of my braid slightly.

_Don’t be stupid Darcy. Why would he stay? That’ll just annoy him._

“Of course,” He said, pushing my braid out of my hand and letting it fall back down my back, he gently pried my knife from my hand, setting it on the nightstand next to my cell, so even if I laid down it’d still be within my reach.

Steve waited as I lay down before settling down in front of me. I tossed my glasses onto the nightstand, letting him wrap his arms around me as I curled into his chest.

“G’night Steve,” I muttered.

“Goodnight Sweetheart,” He said, and the last thing I remember was his lips against my forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Darcy, centrate en esto. Traduce lo que estoy diciendo y concentrate en mi voz,” - Focus on this. Translate what I’m saying and focus on my voice. - Spanish  
> “Estas en la torre y a salvo” - You're in the tower and you're safe. - Spanish  
> "Respira. Dentro y fuera." - Breathe. In and out. - Spanish  
> “Лучше?” - Better? - Russian  
> “Зто нормально, если вам нужно еще минуту,” - It’s okay if you need another minute. - Russian  
> “Nada de eso,” - None/Nothing of that - Spanish  
> “Я же вам говорил .” - I told you so. - Russian


	26. Let The Chaos Begin!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If Capsicle and Lewis have stopped staring longingly into each other’s eyes,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only finished this chapter today, things have been crazy and my writing has paid the price.  
> Hence this chapter isn't the best.  
> Chapter Warnings: Mentions of Alcohol Abuse, Mentions of Alcohol Abuse by a Minor, Little bit of Self doubt but Natasha quickly fixes that.

The next few days passed calmly. Every night I’d stayed with Steve and every night had been nightmare free.

Tony left his penthouse for the first time since his operation and his first stop was surprisingly not his lab.

He came down into the common room, moving a little slower than usual as he collapsed onto the couch.

Pepper sat next to him, letting him lay his head on her lap as she was on the phone to a caterer. She ran her hand absently through his hair as she worked, and neither of them moved for the rest of the day.

.

Natasha woke me early on the thirty-first, dragging me down to the floor above the gym.

“Is there anything that Tony hasn’t put in this tower?” I asked, looking around the spa, there were massage beds, nail bars, salon chairs, literally everything you’d find if you took a spa day.

“An apple store,” Nat replied and I snorted. Tony’s hate for apple products was so ridiculous it was funny!

“Natasha, Darcy! Come and join us,” Pepper called out from where she was getting her hair curled.

The next five hours were filled with laughter as we got massages as well as our hair and nails done.

The hair stylist, Michelle, pulled my hair back in an intricate looking braided updo.

Natasha dragged me back up to her apartment, where Clint was sitting at breakfast bar, the entire counter set out with make-up, all organised by type and colour.

I sat kind of impatiently as Clint did my make-up.

“Sit still,” He reminded me for the twelfth time as he did my eyeliner.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. Resisting the urge to move again.

I forced myself to sit still as Clint made me look presentable and after nearly forty minutes he declared he was finished.

“Finally!” I exclaimed reaching for the mirror, only for him to slap my hands away.

“Nope, no looking til you’ve got your dress on,” He said. I rolled my eyes, switching places with Nat as I pulled out my phone.

I curled up on the couch, careful not to mess up my hair or make-up, scrolling through Twitters _#MariaStarkBall_ and _#AvengersRedCarpetAssemble_ tags

There was a lot of speculation about how many of the Avengers were going to be in attendance, and a lot more speculation on who would bring dates.

It was also everywhere that tonight was the first social event that Tony had been to since New York.

I clicked on a video of a talkshow.

 _“Now as we all know Tony Stark isn’t known for sobriety, so what with this being his first social event since the Battle of New York and what with the recent battles in Tennessee and saving the President, we aren’t expecting Mr Stark to be sober for very long. What that means for his girlfriend Pepper Potts, we don’t know,”_ The host said.

I rolled my eyes.

Since what happened at Christmas, nobody had seen Tony touch any form of alcohol since being back. He’d been sober even the day we celebrated Christmas, he hadn’t even touched a bottle of beer.

“Ten bucks says Tony doesn’t touch any alcohol but the Champaign tonight,” Clint said, adding a thin layer of blush to Nat’s cheeks.

“I reckon he won’t even touch that,” I said, Nat hummed in agreement.

 _“I can confirm that the last week is the longest Sir has been without alcohol since he was fourteen,”_ Jarvis put in, a hint of what might have been pride in his voice. I gave a low whistle.

“That’s young even for Tony. I thought sixteen at the earliest,” I commented.

 _“Indeed,”_ Jarvis said.

“Okay, you’re done,” Clint interrupted, leaning back to look at Tasha, his eyes scanning her face critically, making sure he hadn’t missed anything. “You girls go play dress up, but we’re meeting in the Common Room in half an hour,”

Nat nodded, sliding off the stool, she pulled me to my feet and dragged me towards her bedroom.

I hadn’t been in Clint and Nat’s bedroom before and I don’t know what I expected. But this wasn’t it.

The walls had black, patterned wallpaper and unlike my apartment there was soft grey carpet.

It was very modern, with mostly black and white furniture and lamps except for a bright red couch against the wall of windows and various purple cushions on the armchair and the bed.

I don’t know why, but it worked perfectly.

The calm, mature theme with the bright, random splashes of colour, that complimented both Natasha’s calm, collected personality, and Clint’s excitable, almost childish one.

“C’mon, your dress is in here,” Natasha said, leading me into the closet. It was clearly divided, Natasha’s clothes on the right, Clint’s on the left.

At the very front were their suits. Varying types of Natasha’s catsuit, different colours and with different logos.

Several models of her Widow Bites on one shelf, three guns and six knives along with several small, circular devices which I think were EMP’s.

Clint’s suits mirrored hers some black with purple seams, another one had a single dark purple sleeve.

One bow leant against the wall with a double quiver full of arrows, ready to use at a moment’s notice too, had two shelves, one with a large array of knives and a pistol.

The second had a semi-automatic sniper rifle and a case full of spare ammo.

Behind their suits there were rows of casual, every day clothes, all coordinated by colour.

Each side had a couple of S.H.I.E.L.D. black suits and at the back were varying styles of formal evening wear.

On the very back wall were shelves of wigs and accessories, most of which were probable varying levels of lethal. _(The accessories, not the wigs… Could wigs be lethal? This was Natasha’s closet…)_

“Hell of a wardrobe,” I muttered.

“This isn’t even half of it. More expensive and dangerous outfits are kept at the Triskelion,” She said, grabbing two dress bags.

“The Triskelion?” I asked. I’d heard the name quite a bit since I’d been here, but nobody had actually explained what it was.

“It’s S.H.I.E.L.D.’s main headquarters in Washington, where Clint and I used to be based,” She said, hooking the bags on the door, unzipping the first to reveal my dress.

I bit my lip, forcing myself not to start grinning like an idiot going to their first dance.

I changed quickly, letting Natasha do me up and help me step up into my heels, I tossed my phone,my taser and Jake's dog tags into my clutch, closing it with a snap.

“Here,” Nat said, tossing me a leather holster. “Thigh holster, for your knife,”

I smiled slightly, bunching my dress up, strapping it round my real leg. Sliding my knife securely in place.

Nat nodded to a familiar box on a shelf which apparently she, or most likely Clint had stolen from my apartment.

I carefully lifted the Concealment device from the box, taking care as I laid it on the top of my metal leg.

I watched as it recalibrated, shiny silver fading into flawless flesh.

I let my skirt fall back around my ankles and stood back up properly.

Natasha moved behind me, guiding me to stand in front of the mirror and I gave a soft gasp.

For once I stood next to Natasha in all her radiance and I felt something other than jealously.

Clint had make me look flawless, soft Smokey eyes and perfect winged eyeliner, made my blue eyes shine brightly.

My lips were a soft nude colour which didn’t make me look as pale as normal.

With most of my hair pinned back, only a couple of curls hung free, framing my face with an image of unusual elegance.

Between the dress and the shoes I looked taller, which made my figure look a little more proportioned, it was nice not looking as if someone had stuck a G cup on someone the height of a fourteen year old.

I took in my image and grinned brightly as confidence surged through me.

_I looked fucking hot!_

My eyes drifted back to Natasha, her red hair falling in natural curls around her shoulders, her long red dress, complimenting her curves as it fell down to the floor, a long slit up to her tight revealing a stretch of smooth, pale skin.

She balanced perfectly in her red heels, she was the definition of grace and elegance.

 _“Agent Barton would like me to inform you that it is time leave,”_ Jarvis announced, causing a wave of sudden anxiety to suddenly wash through me.

_I had to walk down a red carpet on the arm of a national icon in six inch heels and a long dress…_

“Hey,” Natasha placed a gently hand on my arm. “Just keep your chin up. Steve won’t let you fall. Focus on him and us, and ignore everybody else. You’re going to be fine,” She assured me.

I took a steadying breath before nodding.

“Okay,” I said. “Let’s go,”

.

Tasha and I took the elevator to the common room where Clint, Steve, Pepper and Tony were sitting at the breakfast bar.

Pepper looked incredible. She was wearing a floor length cut out, gold dress, her strawberry blonde hair curled past her shoulders.

She was wearing a pair of ridiculously high heels, gold heels and had a small gold clutch in her hand.

Steve and Clint stood up as we walked towards them, Clint winked at me before stepping up to Natasha’s side, wrapping an arm around her waist.

I looked up at Steve as he stepped in front of me.

“You look beautiful,” He said, a bright grin on his face.

My eyes drifted the length of his body, my mouth watered… _What did humans ever do to deserve Steve Rogers?_

“You look pretty good yourself, Captain,” I replied, looking back up at him with a smile.

 _“Sir, the cars have just pulled into the garage,”_ Jarvis announced.

“Time to go,” Tony said, clapping his hands. “That is if Capsicle and Lewis have stopped staring longingly into each other’s eyes,”

I glared over my shoulder at him, and to my surprise Bruce and Betty were stood next to him.

The elevator wasn’t comfortably big enough for all of us, so Pepper, Tony, Bruce and Betty went down first and Natasha, Clint, Steve and I stepped into the elevator as soon as it came back up.

I stood in front of the window, my fingers resting on the rail as I looked out at the city.

There seemed to be more people than usual outside the tower, flashing cameras of the media and cosplaying fans all hoping to get a glimpse of the Avengers as they left.

The elevator came to a stop and we were ushered into the back of a sleek black limousine.

“Rhodey and Maria are arriving separately, they have to represent individual agencies,” Pepper said. “I know most of the people here are carrying various weapons, but they stay away unless absolutely necessary, and if someone asks, you say you’re unarmed,”

Everyone nodded.

“Also, I have the day off tomorrow, so I don’t want to spend my day off regulating the media,” She warned, shooting a pointed look at Tony. “Is that clear?” She asked.

There was a chorus of “Yes, ma’am,”’s as the car pulled to a stop.

“Let the chaos begin,” Tony said with a smirk, sliding a pair of sunglasses on as the driver opened the door.

Camera’s flashed through the door as Tony slid out, holding out a hand for Pepper.

_Let the chaos begin indeed!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darcy, Pepper, Maria and Natasha's dresses are all on my Pinterest.  
> Darcy's nails are on my Pinterest  
> Natasha and Clint's bedroom is also on my Pinterest.
> 
> Thank you again for all your support, it's amazing and I love you all!!


	27. Happy New Year!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I definitely didn’t just threaten THE Black Widow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry this is late. I've literally just finished writing this chapter, and haven't had the chance to read through it as much as I normally would.  
> The scene at the very end (you'll know which one I mean!) I've never written something like that before, so I hope it's okay!  
> Chapter Warnings: Nope, none this time. Just a fun, happy chapter for once!

I took Steve’s hand and as I stepped out of the car I tried to embrace my inner dancer, to be as graceful as possible.

“Chin up and smile,” Natasha reminded me, as she slid out of the limo, linking her arm with Clint’s.

I tilted my chin up and smiled, sliding my hand through Steve’s offered arm.

“Captain Rogers, who is your date?”

“Agent Romanoff, what are you wearing?”

“Mr Stark, can you comment on what happened last week?”

Reporters yelled from behind the blinding lights.

“Aw c’mon, why don’t they ever ask me any questions?” Clint whined, making Natasha roll her eyes.

“Better no questions than the misogynistic questions that Natasha nd Pepper get,” I commented as Nat wrapped an arm around my waist, to smile for a camera, humming in agreement.

“Captain Rogers! Can I have a moment of your time?” A blonde reporter said from the edge of the red carpet.

I went to step back but Steve caught my hand.

“Nope,” He said. “You’re not letting me into the sea of reporters alone,” He tugged me with him, over to the waiting reporter who promptly introduced herself.

“Christine Everhart, Vanity Fair,” She said, shaking Steve’s hand.

I recognised the name instantly. She was the reporter who told Tony about the under the table dealings that I wasn’t supposed to know about, she wrote the amazing piece about Pepper when she became CEO.  
When I had to write a paper about representation in the media, both as a reporter and a celebrity, Christine Everhart’s name appeared in my paper more than once.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” Steve said with a tight, but genuine smile.

“This is your first public even since New York, besides the press conference is it not?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“It is. I’ve got to admit that this is a lot flashier than what I’m used to,” Steve said with a laugh.

“Well Stark galas have been known to be… Eccentric,” She said then looked over at me. “I don’t believe we’ve met your date before?”

“I’m Darcy Lewis,” I said before Steve could introduce me. “People might recognise me from when I was the top of Twitter’s trends list a few months ago,” I said.

“‘Mystery Girl’ Darcy Lewis?” She said in realisation. I nodded.

“First shopping with Hawkeye and The Black Widow and now you’re attending a ball with Captain America. I’m sure a lot of people are wondering how you became friends with the _World’s Mightiest Heros_?” She asked.

“I tazed Thor and now I live in the tower with the rest of them,” I said simply. “It’d be kinda hard to live with the Avengers and not be their friend, they’re all just as amazing at home, as they are when they’re off saving the world. Except for Clint unhealthy obsession with bad nineties movies, that sucks. I wouldn’t want to be on their bad side though, especially while living under the same roof,” I said, Steve chuckled as Christine laughed.

“I tazed Thor and I now live in the tower with the rest of them,” I said simply. “It’d be kinda hard to live with the Avengers and not be their friend. I wouldn’t want to be on their bad side. Especially whilst living under the same roof,” I said, Steve chuckled as Christine laughed.

“C’mon, we’re not _that_ bad,” Steve said. I raised an eyebrow in a way that would make Natasha proud.

“One word Rogers: Dodgeball,” I said. An adorable pink blush rose up to his cheeks, making me smirk triumphantly.

“Dodgeball?” Christine asked with a curious smile.

“The Avengers have team bonding sessions on occasion. Dodgeball is no longer permitted,” I explained briefly.

Christine laughed. The interview went on asking the usual questions about the opportunities that came with the Avengers Initiative and Christine asked about Steve’s knowledge on the Maria Stark foundation and their charities.

“Lastly, can I quickly get your opinion on Stark Industries latest project that Miss Potts is announcing tonight?” She asked.

Steve glanced back at me.

“I can’t tell you _what_ it is. But I know its life changing. Since I came out of the ice I’ve seen a lot of amazing things but this, this is just incredible!” Steve gushed and I grinned in agreement. _Life changing was one word for it._

Christine thanked us for our time and we moved further down the red carpet speaking to different reporters about mostly the same things

Steve signed some autographs and took pictures with some fans.

It took nearly two hours to reach the end of the red carpet, and I gave a sigh of relief as the warmth of the entrance hall surrounded me.

“You okay?” Steve asked, his hand brushing mine.

“I nodded.

“This is just insane,” I replied as we stepped into the ball room. I looked around with wide eyes.

Red and gold decorations were hung elegantly from everywhere, but it wasn’t over the top how I expected. A gaped at the large chandelier that hung in the centre of the room.

“That’s one word for it,” Steve said, a look of awe in his eyes as he took everything in.

“Cap! Lewis!” Tony yelled from across the room, beckoning us over to The Avengers designated table.

Steve led me over, pulling out a chair for me between him and Clint.

“Thanks,” I smiled, setting my clutch on the table.

“So, Pepper’s doing the fancy announcement, then food, then partying, then New Year and then more partying,” Tony listed.

“That ‘Fancy Announcement’ as you so elegantly put it is happening momentarily. So if you’ll excuse me,” Pepper said, leaning over to kiss Tony on the cheek before pushing away from the table, she strode elegantly up the steps onto the stage.

An instant hush fell across the hall, the last few people took their seats, looking up at Pepper expectantly.

“Good evening, I’d like to start by thanking you all for being here tonight. On behalf of Tony Stark, I’d like to remind you that one hundred percent of tonight’s proceeds will be split between the Maria Stark Foundations chosen charities,” She said, her voice echoing around the room.

“As you know Stark Industries would like to take a moment tonight to announce our latest project.

“2013 is almost here and between injured veterans returning from overseas, children being born with missing limbs and people with lifelong illnesses and injuries. Unfortunately science isn’t yet at a stage to cure a lot of the disabilities that people have to live with daily.

“However, we do have the resources to begin research and development to help make the lives of these people easier,” Peppers eyes drifted over and settled on our table for a moment.

“In the past six months our top researchers have created a way to advance prosthesis as we know them,” A soft murmur of surprise ran across the crowd.

“Stark Industries made its first robotic prosthetic leg earlier this year. With _full_ mobility and feeling. It connects to the end of her stump and has become a permanent attachment. It works just as her other leg does. She can move her toes, feel a carpet under foot, she can swim and run and kick better than she ever could before. There is nothing she can’t do that rest of us can.

 “Stark Industries is recreating this technology and is aiming to make it available to _everybody,_ no matter their health insurance or background,” Another, louder murmur rippled across the room.

“Who’s going to pay for this?” One of the reporters asked loudly.

“Each prosthesis will have to be made specially made for each person. They aren’t something that can just be made in bulk. Funding for each prosthetic will also work in a case by case basis, financial help is something that Stark Industries can afford to offer its clients and we will offer our clients,” Pepper said smoothly.

More questions were asked and a couple of pictures were shown of my leg, before it was attached, and a couple of photos of my physio sessions without my face visible.

A couple more questions were asked before Pepper smoothly reminded the media that this wasn’t a press conference, before finishing her speech and reclaiming her seat.

Food was served in a four course meal and I don’t think I’ve ever eaten as much.

Natasha glared at a photographer who was trying to take a picture of her eating a second serving of chocolate profiteroles.

The tables were cleared and drinks were handed out. Tony shook his head at the offered glass of scotch and the waitress came back with a bottle of water.

I looked over at Clint and Natasha who were both smiling, clearly remembering our earlier conversation.

Almost as soon as everything was cleared the band picked up and couples started moving onto the dance floor. Tony grabbed Peper’s hand, dragging her into a space.

I watched as Pepper threw her head back and laughed as he twirled her extravagantly.

Maria was sitting at the next table over, talking to Rhodey and other representatives.

“So Cap, the rumours, are they true?” Natasha asked, leaning her forearms on the table.

Steve raised his eyebrows.

“What rumours might that be Romanoff?” He asked, a hint of caution in his voice.

“That you can’t dance,” She said with a smirk.

Steve groaned, a pink tinting his cheeks. Natasha’s smirk turned into a grin.

“Who told you that?” He asked, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s in your file,” She replied.

“Why would my lack of dancing skills be in my S.H.I.E.L.D. file?” He queried.

“Because you’re one of the few people who haven’t edited their file,” Nat said, giving me a pointed look.

“Busted,” Clint said with a smirk as heat rose to my face.

“Maria will probably want to have a conversation with you about that later. Back to the actual topic at hand here,” Nat looked back at Steve who held his hands up.

“No okay. I can’t dance,” He admitted.

“You came from the forties. I thought everyone in the forties could dance,” Clint said.

“Nah, Bucky danced enough for both of us back then,” Steve said with a fond smile, his eyes fixed on the table, I watched as he seemed to drift into the past.

“Does this mean I get a free pass on dancing tonight?” I asked, Steve’s head snapped back up and he shifted in his chair, running a hand through his hair before turning his attention back to us.

“’Fraid not Cookie,” Clint said. “Did you not hear Pepper’s speech? ‘There’s nothing you can’t do that the rest of us can.’ That means you have to dance,”

“Hmm. I’m pretty sure that means I _can_ dance, it doesn’t mean I _must_ dance. There’s a difference,” I corrected. “Besides, I’m pretty sure this type of dancing requires a partner and my date can’t dance, so that means I get a free pass,” I said, looking thankfully at Steve.

Natasha stared at me for a minute before suddenly pushing back from the table, she moved round the back of Clint’s chair and pulled mine back.

“What are you – Nat this isn’t what I meant!” I protested as she took my hand, pulling me from my chair and dragging me towards the dance floor. I looked over my shoulder for help only to find Steve and Clint laughing.

“Kind of turned on, kind of terrified right now,” I blurted out as Tasha pulled me round to stand in front of her, she smirked. “Tasha I haven’t danced in years and have _never_ danced like this,” I said, gesturing to the waltzing couples, who were all male/female pairs.

“Follow my lead,” She said, putting one hand on my waist, taking my hand with the other. “You might even make the front page,” She said, nodding her head to the camera’s that were now focussed on us.

“I can see the threesome rumours again already,” I sighed, putting my hand on her shoulder, holding her hand lightly. “If you let me fall flat on my face I will kill you,” I threatened, rising up on my toes, I paused.

_I definitely didn’t just threaten THE Black Widow._

Natasha just laughed lightly before stepping.

As it turned out, dancing with Natasha wasn’t all that hard.

She led each step, she spun me round, letting my dress fly out around me.

I laughed as I stopped spinning and the song came to an end making me stumble slightly.

Natasha caught my arm as my head spun.

“I thought you used to be a dancer,” She said with a laugh as she started to guide me back towards the table.

“I was, but I tend to need a little warning before someone spins me like that,” I said as she let me drop back down in my chair. “Ergh,” I collapsed against Steve’s side, my head dropping onto his shoulder as I reached for my glass of water.

“Definitely gonna be front page,” Clint said, taking Natasha’s hand on top of the table.

The night passed in laughter as I ended up dancing with Clint, Tony, Bruce, Natasha (again) and Rhodey. I even managed to get a slow dance with Steve where he just had to stand in one spot and sway.

I spared a moment to check my phone, Twitter had exploded. All but one of the Worldwide trends was the Stark Ball.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s nearing midnight and I’d like to invite you all outside to welcome in the New Year,” Pepper said.

We followed the crowd out into the gardens and I hissed as the cold, winter air hit me.

Despite the outdoor heaters and the large group of people, it was still December in New York.

“Here,” Steve said, sliding his arms out of his jacket, offering it out for me.

“Its fine Steve, you’ll get cold,” I said, shaking my head.

“Super Soldier body heat. The temperature will have to drop quite a lot for me to get cold,” He assured me. I hesitated for a second before sliding my arms into his jacket. It dropped down onto my shoulders, Steve stayed behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his chin resting on the top of my head.

Warmth surrounded me and my shivering stopped almost instantly.

“Better?” He asked.

“Much,” I hummed, resting my hands on top of his, leaning back into his chest as the countdown begun, projected brightly in the sky.

_10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1!_

Cheers erupted around us and I turned in Steve’s arms to look up at him.

Even with the five inches of my heels I was still almost a head shorter than Steve.

The flashes from the fireworks splashed bright colours against his pale skin. His eyes locked with mine and I licked my suddenly dry lips.

Between the bangs of the fireworks, the cheers of the crowd and the thump of my heartbeat in my ears, everything around me seemed to blur. Steve was the only thing that mattered.

I noticed every detail; the sharp angle of his jaw, the shine in his eyes as they flickered to my lips and the soft curve of his lips as he smiled softly.

He tilted his head down and I rose up, his lips meeting mine half way in between.

The world seemed to stop as his mouth covered mine in a soft, yet hungry kiss. I let my eyes fall closed as I responded instantly. His mouth was warm and his lips surprisingly soft.

My hands slid up his arms, one clutching the front of his shirt, the other holding the back of his neck as I pulled him further down.

One of his hands was on my waist, his fingers digging into my hip as he pulled me closer, the other cupped my face. His touch on my cheek gentle, almost innocent as his tongue swiped across my lip.

I pulled myself away, trying to catch my breath as my eyes fluttered open.

Butterflies flew in my stomach as I looked up at him, my hands sliding back down to his arms.

He looked down at me and smiled, his lips slightly swollen with a tint of lipstick.

I grinned giddily.

Nothing else mattered as I lost myself in his gaze.

“Happy New Year!” He breathed, brushing his thumb across my cheek. I giggled slightly, tilting my head further into his palm.

“Happy New Year!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it okay? This is the first romantic story I've written so you get to read my first written kiss. (How much did it suck?)  
> Be sure to let me know what you think and if there's any typo's or anything. Like I said I haven't had a chance to edit this as thoroughly as normal, so I trust you guys to help me out.
> 
> Check out my Pinterest and Tumblr for all the dresses and extra little pics etc.


	28. Healthy and Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Te amo Cariño,” I said. “I love you so very much,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two happy chapters in a row!!  
> So, I've fractured my wrist and can only type with one hand, and I haven't finished the next chapter yet, so I'm hoping it's going to be finished before next Monday, but I'm really sorry if its not!  
> Chapter Warnings: Childbirth (it's not graphic and nothing bad happens but it's still there), mild panic but nothing extreme.

I groaned, trying to bury my head further into the pillows a loud ringing cut through my sleep.

I sighed, reaching over Steve’s body to grab my phone. I had to squint to read the screen, but my eyes widened in surprise as Chelsea’s name flashed across the screen.

I glanced at the clock. _04:26._ Worry flooded through me.

“Hello?” I said, pressing the phone to my ear.

 _“Darcy its Mike,”_ I sat up straighter causing Steve to stir.

“Mike what’s wrong? Why are you calling from Chelsea’s phone?” I asked, panic lacing my voice.

“Darce?” Steve asked quietly in concern, a held up a hand making him pause.

 _“I left my phone at home, didn’t have time to pick it up. Everything’s fine. Chelsea’s gone into labour. We’re at New York Methodist Hospital,”_ He said, my eyes widened, as I scrambled out of bed.

“I’m on my way,” I said, hanging up, tossing my cell phone onto the night stand as I grabbed my glasses.

“Darcy, what’s wrong?” Steve asked, coming to stand in front of me.

“Chelsea’s gone into labour. I need to go see her,” I told him, reaching for my duffel bag of clothes, grabbing a pair of jeans and a tank top.

“I’ll get dressed. I’ll drive you,” He said. I gave a brief nod, digging through my bag for some underwear.

I went into the bathroom, changing quickly and freshening up.

I brushed my hair, the braids last night had caused my hair to fall in tight waves, that I let fall down my back.

I sat on the edge of the bed, yanking on my boots and once the laces were done up I paused, my eyes settling on the chair across the room where my dress from last night and Steve’s jacket, which I’d kept on after we left rested on top.

I smiled softly, remembering how we welcomed the New Year.

How I started 2013 off by kissing Captain America.

“Are you ready?” Steve asked, knocking softly on the doorframe.

I spun round, snapping back to reality.

“Yes. We should miss most of the traffic and Mike said everything was fine but she’s in labour and anything could go wrong at any minute and –,”

“Darcy!” Steve caught my arm, cutting my panicked rambling short. Making me look up at him. “Breathe, it’s going to be fine,” He said.

I sighed, looking up at him, he stared back down at me his confident expression never wavering.

I went to reach out for him, to kiss him. But I stopped myself, pulling my hands to my chest.

“What is it?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

“I – I – Can I kiss you?” I asked, it seemed silly to ask, but Steve smiled.

“You never need to ask, Doll,” He said, ducking his head down.

Our lips met softly, and I felt my anxiety melt away as his hand wove through my hair.

We seemed to mould together perfectly until he gently pulled away, his thumb tracing patterns on the back of my neck.

“We should go,” He breathed and I nodded, letting him pull me into his side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, assuring me of his presence as the elevator took it’s time.

“Jarvis, can you please make sure the Science crew don’t kill themselves while I’m gone, and if anyone asks where we are, tell them that Chelsea’s gone into labour,” I said.

 _“Certainly Miss Lewis. Although I cannot guarantee Sir’s actions will not lead to mild explosions until you return,”_ Jarvis replied and Steve snorted.

“That’s sounds like Tony,” I muttered. “Thanks J,”

_“Anytime,”_

The half an hour drive seemed to take forever, I tapped my hand nervously against my leg until Steve reached out, lacing our fingers together to stop me.

Steve parked the car and we rushed through the corridors, following the directions a nurse gave us to the Maternity ward.

“Can I help you?” The receptionist at the Maternity desk asked.

“I’m looking for Chelsea Grey. She came in a couple of hours ago, she's in labour,” I said.

“Are you family?” The lady asked, scrolling through her computer.

“The baby is my brothers,” I said.

“Is your brother here with her?” She questioned and I hesitated.

_Jake should be here. He should be able to see his child be born._

“Her brother was killed in combat six months ago,” Steve said, putting a hand on my shoulder, drawing circles on the back of my neck with his thumb.

“Oh, I’m sorry. She came in with a Mike Davidson. She’s in room 2, down that corridor. Just knock on the door,” She said, pointing towards a corridor.

“Thank you,” Steve said, steering me down the corridor.

I knocked on the door labelled _Room Two._

“Come in,” A soft, familiar voice called out from inside.

Pushing the door open I smiled at the sight of Chelsea, propped up on a couple of pillows, Mike sitting on her right holding her hand.

“Darcy,” Chelsea breathed as I stepped into the room, I moved over hugging her gently. “I’ve missed you,” She whispered.

“I’ve missed you too,” I said, pulling away to wrap my arms around Mike’s neck. “I’ve missed both of you,”

Mike hugged me tightly for a minute before setting me back on my feet.

I hadn’t seen either of them since Jake’s funeral, except the occasional video or phone call.

“I bought company. I hope you don’t mind,” I said, reaching out to take Steve’s hand. Mike and Chelsea both glanced at me before smiling.

“It’s good to see you again,” Mike said, shaking Steve’s hand.

“Likewise,” Steve replied with a nod.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, turning my attention back to Chelsea.

“Pretty good,” She sighed, rubbing circles on her bump. “I had an epidural, I was about 7cm when Mike phoned you. The midwife said Little One is in a hurry. A couple of hours at the most, she said. I can’t have any more pain relief because Little One’s a bit earlier,”

 I smiled softly.

“I thought you were in New Jersey. What are you doing in Brooklyn?” I asked, taking a seat next to her bed.

“My dad had to go to Chicago for some business thing. Mike said I could come stay with him for New Year,” Chelsea explained.

“You should have called. I’m practically around the corner,” I said.

“I know. I’m sorry,” She said. “But it seemed like you’ve all had a lot on in the last week,” She gave me a pointed look.

“It’s been a little bit chaotic,” I said, looking up at Steve who snorted.

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” He asked rhetorically.

I rolled my eyes, looking back to Chelsea who winced suddenly, pressing her hand to her stomach.

“Chelsea?” I asked in worry, as she reached out grabbing my hand tightly.

“Mike,” She groaned, pain lacing her voice. “Get the nurse,” She said, her voice raising an octave or two.

“Yeah,” Mike breathed, his eyes widening in panic as he practically ran out of the room.

I stood up, moving closer to the bed as she clutched my hand.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” I breathed, brushing the strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail.

The door opened and Mike followed a blonde haired midwife back into the room.

“Chelsea, you need to take deep breathes, like we practised earlier. Do you want someone to stay with you?” She asked. Chelsea nodded, pulling my hand closer to her chest as she tried to breathe through her pain. “Okay. You gentlemen will have to wait outside,” 

A wave of panic ran through me as Mike and Steve were ushered from the room. The door snapping shut behind them.  _She was having a baby? What the holy hell do I do?_

“I’m going to take a look down there okay?” The midwife said, Chelsea nodded. “I’m Emily by the way,” She added to me.

“Darcy,” I nodded, mentally calming myself as I perched on the edge of the bed, wrapping my arm around Chelsea’s shoulders, trying to provide as much comfort as possible.

Emily pulled up the blanket, and hummed.

“Okay. You’re ready to push. Take a deep breath and push as hard as you can. Not gonna lie, this is gonna hurt like hell and I unfortunately I can’t give you anything else for that,” Emily said. Chelsea nodded, scrunching up her face and pushed.

.

“I can’t do this. I can’t,” Chelsea sobbed after what seemed like hours.

“Yes you can. You’re doing amazing. I just need one last massive push,” Emily said.

“I can’t do this. It hurts,” She cried. “I need Jake. I want Jake,” She sobbed, her face scrunched up in pain.

My heart ached at the broken look on her face.

“Chelsea, hey Chelsea look at me,” I said, one hand clutching hers, the other cupping her face. “You _can_ do this. You’re so brave and so strong. Think of Jake, he would be so proud of you right now. He believed in you and _I_ believe in you!” I stressed.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and after a second she nodded.

“Good girl,” Emily said. “One last big push,”

Chelsea gripped my hand, making me wince slightly as she screamed.

Her scream died out, turning into something between a sigh and a sob.

A high pinched cry rang through the room and Chelsea sobbed through a grin.

“It’s a girl,” Emily said. “Do you want her on your chest?” She asked.

Chelsea nodded pushing her hospital gown down a bit, as Emily carefully lay Little One on her chest, she was messy, but she was beautiful.

Her tiny face scrunched up as she wailed.

“Oh my god,” Chelsea breathed, as she ran her hand over the fine brown hair. Little One’s crying died down and I gasped as she looked up at Chelsea with very familiar bright blue eyes that I hadn’t seen in months. “Hello sweetie. I’m your Mommy,” A tear dripped down my cheek and I quickly swiped it away as Chelsea glanced up at me. “Your Daddy isn’t here anymore, but he would have loved you so, so much. Just like I do,” Chelsea wiped her own tears away.

“I need to cut the cord,” Emily said, Chelsea nodded, shifting slightly so Emily could clamp the cord, cutting it smoothly. “Can I clean her up a little bit? I’ll be right over there,” She gestured to the table and crib.

Chelsea hesitated but nodded. Not taking her eyes off of her baby as Emily carefully carried her to the table.

“She’s 5lb’s exactly,” Emily announced, checking her over. “That’s a little small, but that’s to be expected. Other than that she seems to be perfectly healthy,” I watched as she wrapped her up in a soft white blanket. Carrying her back over. “I need to get you cleaned up Chelsea. Would you like to put her in the crib or Darcy to hold her?”

“Darcy can hold her,” Chelsea said and I smiled, Emily stepped closer, passing her into my arms as I carefully supported her head.

My eyes burned as I looked down at a pair of identical blue eyes. _Jakes eyes!_

I smiled as I stepped backwards, carefully sitting down as I carefully brushed my finger down her cheek.

“Hey Cariña,” _Sweetie._ I said softly. “I’m your Auntie Darcy. You’re so perfect and I know that your Daddy loves you, even though he isn’t here anymore, I’m never going to let you forget how much he loves you and how proud he’s going to be of you,”

I sniffed slightly as tears ran freely down my cheeks.

“Te amo Cariña,” _I love you Sweetie._ I said. “I love you so very much,”

“All done,” Emily said and I looked back up, wiping my tears away.

I stood back up, walking across the room, gently setting her down in Chelsea’s arms seconds before she started fussing.

“She’s probably hungry,” Emily said.

“I’ll give you a minute, I’ll go tell Mike and Steve,” I said, running my fingers over Little One’s forehead for a second as I placed a kiss on Chelsea’s forehead.

I smiled at Emily as I walked past, stepping into the corridor, closing the door softly.

Mike was in front of me instantly, taking in my tear soaked face.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, I grinned brightly, managing to nod.

“It’s a girl, she’s a little small but she’s healthy and Chelsea’s fine, they’re both happy and perfect,” I said.

Mike laughed picking me up in a bear hug, spinning me around before setting me down and I leant into Steve, wrapping my arms around his waist, he grinned down at me.

We moved back to the waiting area and I pulled out my phone as I leant into his side.

_From Clint:  
-Is everything okay? Keep us posted?_

_From Pepper:  
-Jarvis told us where you are. If you need anything just call._

_From Jane:  
-Clint told me Chelsea was in labour. Let me know how everything is?_

_To Clint; Pepper; Jane:  
-It’s a girl! 5lb on the dot, they’re both doing great!! _

I went through a couple more unimportant messages, sliding my phone back into my pocket as the door opened and Emily stepped out.

“Everything’s fine. Chelsea say’s you can go back in,” She said.

Walking back into room I smiled, Chelsea was sitting up, grinning down at a bundle of blankets.

“Come in,” She said softly. I stepped up to the side, watching as small hands tried to clasp at Chelsea’s finger.

“Do you have a name?” I asked. Chelsea nodded.

“Yeah. Jake – Jake and I talked about kids once, we decided on a list of names if it ever happened,” She smiled softly. “Malia Jacey Lewis. It means peaceful. Jacey, if she were a boy it would have been Jacob,” She looked up at me and I smiled.

“It’s perfect,” I assured her, resting my hand on her shoulder, squeezing it slightly.

I took a picture, of her, her bright blue eyes staring up the camera as she played with her Mom’s finger.

_To Pepper; Jane; Clint:  
-Malia Jacey Lewis. Healthy and perfect!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cariña - Sweetie - Spanish  
> Te amo, Cariña - I love you, Sweetie - Spanish
> 
> Be sure to check out my Pinterest and Tumblr for new gifs and pics!!


	29. #Clintasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re not allowed to apologise for the things they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a sort of long filler chapter, nothing majorly important happens, maybe the last conversation.  
> Chapter Warnings: Clintasha fighting - This deserves it's own warning tag because it's sad, they're not allowed to be on different sides (I'm looking at you Civil War!)

We spent the rest of the day at the hospital.

Clint randomly showed up at lunch time with armfuls of balloons and gifts courtesy of the Avengers.

Chelsea and Malia were given the all clear and discharged at around five o’clock.

They were going to stay with Mike for a while until either he got his orders or she found a new, decent apartment, before she started her new job at this very hospital.

“If you need anything. You know where I am. You’re both welcome _anytime,”_ I said, hugging Chelsea tightly.

“I will. But that goes both ways,” She pulled away, brushing my hair out of my face. She glanced over at Steve who was standing by the car with Clint. “I know you Darcy. If you need to talk or get away from the crazy stuff, you call me,” She said.

I smiled and nodded.

“I will. I promise,” I said before crouching down reach into Malia’s car seat that Mike was holding. “I promise I’m going to come see you soon. Try not to keep your mom up every night,” I said softly. Letting her try and grab my fingers before leaning forward. Gently pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Auntie Darcy loves you,” I breathed before standing up, wrapping my arms around Mike’s neck.

“Be careful,” He said, hugging me tightly. “If you need any superheroes put down a notch,” He gave Steve a pointed look over my head as he pulled away. “I want an in detailed description, or maybe even a video of how you do it,”

I laughed lightly.

“You bet,” I said, I gave them one last smile before turning to the car where Steve pulled open the door for me.

I rolled my eyes, but slid into the passenger seat, throwing a quick mock salute to Mike before Steve shut the car door.

.

When we got back to the tower I collapsed onto the breakfast bar, reaching for the coffee pot, I poured a mug, practically inhaling the hot liquid.

_God, decent coffee that was not in a polystyrene cup is officially the nicest thing ever!_

I shoved a couple of poptarts in the toaster and poured myself a second mug off coffee.

The toaster popped and I tossed them on a plate before weaving across the empty common room, dropping down in the conversation pit.

My StarkPad balanced on my knees, scrolling with one hand with a Poptart in the other.

I opened Twitter and instantly regretted it as my eyes hit the trends list.

 _Worldwide Trends:_  
#AvengersRedCarpetAssemble  
2013  
Steve Rogers  
Darcy Lewis  
#StarkIndustries  
#MysteryGirl  
The Avengers  
#Clintasha  
The Black Widow  
Tony Stark Sobriety?

I groaned, tapping on my name and scanned the top of the page, tapping on the first article.

_Steve Rogers’ One Night Stand  
By: Oliver Peters._

_Last night on the #AvengersRedCarpetAssemble Steve Rogers AKA Captain America was seen with Darcy Lewis on his arm, she accompanied him unnecessarily to each interview and as later seen kissing him at Midnight._

_Miss Lewis has never been seen with Captain Rogers before but was at the centre of the #MysteryGirl trend last summer when she was seen out with Agents Barton and Romanoff, she was photographed in the lingerie store, Victoria Secrets, with both Agents.  
Shopping for underwear with friends or were they something more?_

_Whilst walking the Red Carpet, as Captain Rogers date she did seem overly friendly with his team mates and even shared several dances with all of them._

_Now, several months later Miss Lewis is seen on the arm of Captain America and has been pictured with both Mr Stark and Doctor Banner._

_Miss Lewis’ position in the Avengers Tower is an assistant to Doctor Jane Foster, who is reportedly in a relationship with Thor, but she is also living in very close quarters to all of the Avengers._

_Are her relationships with the Avengers purely platonic? Or is she something more to the team?_

Tears burned behind my eyes, I knew it wasn’t true but… Is that what people really thought of me?

When my father ‘visited’ he thought I was paying my way by sleeping with people in the tower. Now the world thought the same. Did everyone seriously think I was just a whore?

 _“Miss Lewis, my sensors indicate you are in some sort of distress. Would you like me to alert somebody? Perhaps Captain Rogers?”_ Jarvis asked.

I quickly scrubbed away my traitorous tears and shook my head.

“No, thanks though Jarvis. I’m fine,” I assured the AI, closing the article and scrolling back through the twitter feed.

Not all of the articles were that bad, some were actually pretty good.

_ Darcy Lewis, Political Science Graduate and First Contact With Asgardians Attends The Maria Stark Foundation Ball With Captain Rogers! _

_By: Christine Everhart._

_Last night on the Red Carpet for the Maria Stark Foundation Ball, Darcy Lewis – who graduated Culver top of her class with a major in Political Science and a Minor in Online Journalism, Miss Lewis also has a degree in Computer Science which she achieved through online courses when she was just sixteen. She also received a PhD in Political Science just a year ago – walked the Red Carpet on Captain Rogers arm._

_They managed to spare a moment with me, confirming that she was there as his date and that she is in fact close friends with all of the Avengers._

_“I tazed Thor and now I live in the tower with the rest of them,” She told me. “It’d be kinda hard to live with the Avengers and not be their friend, they’re all just as amazing at home, as they are when they’re off saving the world. Except for Clint unhealthy obsession with bad eighties movies, that sucks. I wouldn’t want to be on their bad side though, especially while living under the same roof,”_

_Sources tell us that Miss Lewis has a close relationship with everyone that lives in the tower, but wouldn’t anybody living together for a long period of time?_

_Miss Lewis is a qualified woman who earned her place in the Avengers Tower just like everyone else that lives and works there._

I smiled slightly. _Good to know that not everybody thought I was a whore!_

I retweeted her article and liked several other tweets, saving a couple of other pictures and sending a picture of all of us on the Red Carpet to Pepper with the suggestion to put it on the Avengers Instagram.

I spent half an hour scrolling through Twitter, my follower count had risen dramatically.

Pictures had also been taken of Steve and I going into the hospital this morning and more of Clint on the Subway with _It’s a Girl!_ balloons and bags full of gifts.

Rumours flew about who we were visiting but I was pleased to see that nobody had seen us with Chelsea and there was nothing of her, Malia or Mike.

I smiled softly, tossing my tablet on the cushion next to me, stretching my arms up, wincing as my shoulders and back clicked.

“Hey Jarvis, where is everybody?” I asked.

 _“Sir, Doctors Banner and Ross are in the labs, Ms Potts is in the Penthouse, Agent Romanoff is on Agent Barton’s floor, whilst Agent Barton and Captain Rogers are in the gym,”_ Jarvis said.

I nodded, pulling myself off the couch and towards the stairs, scrolling through the #Clintasha trend as I went.

.

I took my time walking down to the gym, as I stepped inside I watched as Steve lay lifting weights, several times his own bodyweight and Clint was standing at the punch bag, his hands wrapped as he threw punch after punch.

My eyes drifted back to Steve, admiring as his muscles flexed each time he raised his arms.

“I think you’re drooling,” Clint said, snapping my attention away from Steve. Heat rose to my cheeks and I looked away from Steve who smirked but didn’t falter. I looked over at Clint who like Steve, hadn’t paused his workout.

“I wasn’t drooling, just admiring,” I said, moving to pull myself up to perch on the table where Clint’s jacket and phone was tossed. “What did that bag ever do to you?” I asked, noting the tense lines across his shoulder blades.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” He said through clenched teeth.

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief and glanced over at Steve who paused, glancing over at us before going back to what he was doing.

“Where’s Natasha?” I asked carefully, my eyes widening in surprise when he threw a particularly hard punch.

“Probably in my apartment,” He grunted.

“Everything okay between you two?” I asked. _Since when did Clint and Natasha have issues? They were always impossibly in sync._

“Leave it Darcy,” He snapped harshly making me flinch. I heard the clink of mettle as Steve put the weight down and sat up.

Clint stopped, steadying the bag with his hand, dropping his head with a sigh before turning round.

“I’m sorry Darce,” He said softly, looking at me apologetically. “I didn’t mean to snap”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Do you wanna try and hit something other than that bag?”

He looked at me sceptically.

“You’re not exactly dressed to spar,” He said. I rolled my eyes.

“I can still kick your ass in jeans,” I assured him, toeing my boots off, letting the drop to the floor, I tossed my cell phone and bracelet on the table, making quick work of wrapping my hands before hopping off of the table, rolling my shoulders back and stretching as I stepped onto the sparring mats. I rolled my eyes at his hesitation. “C’mon!”

Clint sighed again, rolling his neck before stepping in front of me.

I swung my arm first, he dodged easily, jabbing into my side. I winced, sidestepping, swinging my metal foot round towards his ribs. He caught my foot, twisting it round, knocking me off balance.

I hit the mat, swiping my legs round knocking his knees before standing up.

Clint flipped up to his feet, his face hardened as he focussed.

We sparred for I don’t know how long and I groaned.

“You were right. Sparring in jeans sucks,” I said from where I lay on the mat, where Clint had kicked me down for the tenth time in a row.

“What was that?” He asked, in a teasing, more Clint tone. “Did you just say I was right?” He held out a hand, pulling me off of the floor.

“I said no such thing,” I said.

“Cap, back me up here!” Clint whined.

Steve, who had been sitting ontop of the table, watching us spar, and occasionally calling out tips, chuckled. Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, letting me lean against his side.

“Sorry, I heard no such thing,” He said, kissing the top of my head.

I reached round him, plucking a water bottle off the table, taking a long swig.

“Really Cookie? Can’t you get your own water?” Clint whined as I screwed the lid back on.

“Nope, because that would require me walking all the way over there,” I said, gesturing in the general direction of the door, where a fridge had been built into the wall, filled constantly with bottled water and protein bars.

The doors chose that moment to slide open and Natasha stood in the doorway looking a little worse for wear.

She sunk into Clint’s large purple hoodie she was wearing, her arms were wrapped around her waist and her red hair hung in tangled curls around her shoulders.­

Clint’s face softened as he looked at her, taking in her red, slightly puffy eyes and the lack of her confident stance, replaced by her seeming to shrink into herself.

Without a word she slid soundlessly into the room and wrapped her arms around Clint’s waist burring her face on his shoulder. Clint gave half a smile before returning the hug tightly, both of them murmuring in Russia too low for me to catch anything but the odd word.

"...не сошел с ума?" She murmered. _…Not mad?_

"...злиться на них, никогда у вас... Может быть, для закрытия меня. Вы не должны делать это, вы знаете, я здесь..." Clint replied.  _…At them, never at you… For shutting me out. You know you don't have to, I'm here._

"Прости." _I’m sorry._ My eyes widened in surprise, Natasha never apologised, it was one of her weird rules of life. Clint closed his eyes for a second, looking momentarily pained before pulling back, resting a hand on her cheek.

"Вам не позволено, чтобы извиниться за то, что они сделали" He said, his voice gentle.  _You’re not allowed to apologise for the things they did._

I reached behind me tugging Steve’s hand, and without a word he slid off the table and we left as Natasha threw her arms around Clint’s.

Everyone needs their moment of weakness, and at the end of the day, even master assassins can need a hug when they let everything out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> не сошел с ума? - ne soshel s uma - Russian - ... Not mad?  
> ...злиться на них, никогда у вас... Может быть, для закрытия меня. Вы не должны делать это, вы знаете, я здесь... - ...zlit'sya na nikh, nikogda u vas... Mozhet byt', dlya zakrytiya menya. Vy ne dolzhny delat' eto, vy znayete, ya zdes'... - Russian - …At them, never at you… For shutting me out. You know you don't have to, I'm here.  
> Прости - Prosti - Russian - Sorry.  
> Вам не позволено, чтобы извиниться за то, что они сделали - Vam ne pozvoleno, chtoby izvinit'sya za to, chto oni sdelali - Russian - You're not allowed to apologise for the things they did.
> 
> My Russian isn't that good, so if these are wrong, please correct me!  
> I'm hoping to get at least one of the one shots up today, if I can break through this writers block!  
> Lemme know what you think?!


	30. Черная вдова

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...I was taken to the Red Room, which was to be my home for the next several decades."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE FINALLY POSTED THE COMPANION FIC!!  
> Go check that out, it's going to be a fic full of oneshots, starting with how she met Clint, go check it out! 
> 
> Chapter Warnings: The Red Room, Natasha's back story, Sterilisation, Infertility, Child Abuse, KGB, Brainwashing, Brainwashing of a Minor, Mentions of Violence, nothing good.

I pirouetted flawlessly in time to the music that blared through the lab.

Jane looked up at me and rolled her eyes, with a fond smile.

“You know, you’re supposed to be working,” She said, moving to the glass board, putting the marker cap between her teeth as she studied the board.

“I am working,” I said, grabbing a pile of papers, spinning round as I put them on a separate pile.

“Natasha!” Jane blurted out in surprise, I spun round to see Natasha leaning against the door frame, a small smile on her lips.

She looked normal, her hair pulled up in an elegant, yet messy bun, a couple of strands falling around her face. Her green eyes shone, but there was still something at the back of them, a sadness, an emptiness.

Nobody but Clint had seen her since the gym. She’d shut herself away on Clint’s floor for several days and restricted access to anyone but him and nobody but him knew why.

“Hey, can I borrow Darcy for a little while?” She asked, making my eyes widen. Jane looked round at me and nodded, a hint of concern on her face.

“Of course,” She said.

I nodded, setting a stack of files on the table before following Natasha out of the lab and into the stair well.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, worry edging into my voice. This was weird even for Natasha.

“Yeah. I just wanted to apologise for the other day in the gym. I wasn’t myself, I’m sorry,” She said.

“It’s okay,” I said hesitantly. “As long as you’re okay,”

“I am,” She nodded. Pushing the door open as we reached Clint’s floor. Instead of going to the apartment like I expected to, she lead me over to one of the other two doors on the wall opposite. She pressed her thumb to the pad and the door unlocked with a click. “I want to tell you a story,” She said, letting the door swing open, letting me step into a large dance studio.

A wooden barre circled around the room, attached to each mirror, on every wall. Across the smooth wooden floor in far corner, sat a large, black grand piano, a pair of pink satin ballet shoes on top, and in the centre of the floor sat two files.

“If you’ll let me. I’d like to tell you my story,” She said.

I looked up at her in surprise for a second before nodding, not knowing what to say.

As far as I knew, not even Steve knew her story.

She moved over to the files, sinking gracefully to the floor next to them, picking them up and toying with the edges.

Hesitantly I moved to sit across from her, after a second she slid them across the floor to me.

I looked down at them.

 _S.H.I.E.L.D._  
CLASSIFIED  
PERSONNEL RECORD  
ROMANOFF, NATASHA  
THE BLACK WIDOW

The first one read, I looked over at the second.

 _КГБ – КРАСНЫЙ ЗАЛ АКАДЕМИИ_  
КОНФИДЕНЦИАЛЬНЫЙ  
ПЕРСОНАЛ  
РОМАНОВА, НАТАЛВЯ  
ЧЕРНОЙ ВДОЫ

It took me a second before I could translate it.

 _KGB – RED ROOM ACADEMY_  
CONFIDENTIAL  
PERSONNEL  
ROMANOVA, NATALIA  
BLACK WIDOW

“I don’t remember exactly when, but when I was around five years old I was an orphan. I was taken from an orphanage to Moscow by a man named Ivan Petrovitch. I was taken to the Red Room, which was to be my home for the next several decades.

“I was put into a program with twenty seven other girls, and we weren’t just trained, we were conditioned in _everything._ Our minds were altered, I still don’t really understand how it worked, but while we were trained as Soviet Agents, we were also trained to think we were Ballerinas for the Bolshoi theatre, they inserted artificial memories into our heads. I know that while we never trained in the Bolshoi, we did train in ballet, for discipline, poise, balance, it helps when you fight.

“When we were younger they’d handcuff us to our beds each night, and as we got older, we were taught how to pick a lock, how to escape restraints ten different ways, but I don’t remember a girl ever breaking out of the cuffs at night. It got to the stage that by the time we were fourteen, the ones off us that were left had been conditioned to cuff _ourselves_ to our beds each night, even though we slept with a key within arm’s reach, both in our dorms and when we were on a mission. It was the Red Rooms way of reminding us that we were chained to them, no matter where we were. And after so many years of the same routine, it became a habit. And it took months for Clint to help me break that habit,” My eyes widened as Natasha spoke, she rubbed her bare wrist unconsciously, and for the first time I noticed she had faint white scars from the years of irritated skin.

She reached out turning the first page of the KGB file.

A picture of a dark, dungeon like basement dorm was clipped to the top of the page. Several rows of beds, each with girls sleeping, their hair in two braids and each with a hand raised above their heads, attaching it to the metal bedframe.

“We were taught to fight brutally, only one person ever walked away from a sparring match, if you couldn’t win you were weak, and Mother Russia didn’t need weak girls who lost a fight. I won all of my fights, from when I was nine to nearly eighteen.

“Some things we were taught properly, like etiquette, fighting, killing, dance, the way to do your hair, and makeup. But other things we’d learn from a lab. We’d go into a lab one morning and leave several hours later, fluent in six different languages.

“Other times we’d go into a lab and we were both bio-technologically and psycho-technologically enhanced. Bruce wasn’t the first person to try and recreate Steve’s serum. Russia succeeded.

“We’d get several treatments from when we were sixteen, the final one when we were eighteen, right before graduation. Out of my class, I was the only one to receive the final serum. It was what we all worked for, what the end goal was, to graduate. To go on and serve Mother Russia,”

“By the time I was eighteen, I’d killed most of the 27 other girls, nineteen scientists, four other assets, thirty nine Russian traitors and forty six foreign diplomats. I’d completed my training and I had no idea who I was. I was to graduate within a month, and graduation in the Red Room… It’s not just a serum to make you stronger, faster. There was another part of the ceremony… You had to pass a series of final, physical and mental test, I tried to deliberately fail the tests. I didn’t want to graduate, I didn’t want the ceremony. I don’t know how, but I was fighting their conditioning and they noticed. My punishment was the Red Rooms greatest honour.

“I was the only one to graduate, I don’t remember much, the cold table, girls watching as they wheeled me towards _that_ room, and then pain. When I woke up I was stronger, my senses were heighted and they had sterilized me. Taking away a women’s ability to bear children. Supposedly makes the graduates better killers; we never have to experience the weakness of putting a family above our mission,” Natasha’s eyes were glassy as she lost herself in her horrific past. “It worked. For decades I followed orders without a second thought, no matter what they were, no matter _who_ they were. I earnt my title as the Black Widow.

“Long undercover missions were risky for the Red Room, certain situations could compromise our conditioning. But they thought I was unbreakable. It was a six month undercover operation in Romania, minimum contact with my handlers. This was the first time I started to understand the word freedom. I could buy whatever food I wanted, I could wear whatever clothes I chose… I still had to check in with my handlers, but only twice a month, my apartment wasn’t bugged, it was the best, and most pain free months of my life.

“By the fifth month, I knew the mission was coming to an end and that I would have to go back. A month later I was due to eliminate my target, but in the last six months I’d gotten sloppy, I hadn’t covered my tracks the way I should have done. I eliminated my target, just as clean as ever, but when I went back to my apartment to clear out, I walked through the door and was met with an arrow aimed at my eye socket.

“I knew I was on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s radar in a bad way, but we were taught that that was a good thing, that the higher up on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s radar you were, the better person you were. The same way you were taught the KGB were the bad guys, and told horror stories about what they did, we were told those about S.H.I.E.L.D., except the stories you were told were true.

“Clint had been sent to kill me, and to this day I don’t know why he didn’t let the arrow fly, I taunted him, I wanted him to kill me… But he didn’t. I could tell that someone was yelling at him through his comm, telling him to take the shot, but he wouldn’t. He made a different call.

“He lowered his bow and gave me a choice. He asked me to come back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and I said yes.

“He took me back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and I didn’t understand what was happening. I was taken to a cell, everything was securely fixed so I couldn’t move anything, but I had a bed, a bathroom, I got food several times a day without a question. I didn’t understand, I was treated better as a prisoner of S.H.I.E.L.D. than I had as an Agent of the Red Room.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. gave me several days to myself, with Clint stopping by with food and company. They gave me time to make my choice. So when I sat across from Coulson or Maria or Fury in the days that followed, I told them everything I knew about the Red Room and the KGB. Given what the Red Room did to my head, I couldn’t tell them much. But it was enough.

“For months S.H.I.E.L.D. gained my trust and vice versa. They helped me break my conditioning, there were no lab experiments, just medical evals. I didn’t leave the Triskalion for six months. One day Maria took me shopping and she was the first female friend I properly had. I didn’t have to compete with her, one of us didn’t have to die, as an Agent her rank was higher than mine, but as a person we are equal.

“I breazed through S.H.I.E.L.D.’s phyc evals and training and I got my badge, and with it I became Natasha Romanoff. Outside of missions I’ve always lived with Clint. He helped break the last of my conditioning, he helped me learn how to deal with the sudden freedom I had. S.H.I.E.L.D. assigned missions but we had the right to decline them. We were treated like people first and assets last. It was new, and it took a while to get used to.

“My first real mission was taking down the Red Room, I watched it burn and that was the day that Natalia died,” Natasha had a faraway look in her eyes as she stared at the floor. “Clint spared me that day, and it changed who I was, and I am grateful. I will forever owe him for that day,”

“No you don’t,” A gentle, but firm voice came from the doorway, startling both me and much to my surprise Natasha. Clint leant against the doorframe, his arms folded as his eyes fixed on his partner. “Can I come in?” He asked, Nat nodded, he gave a small smile and slowly walked in, he stood next to her, his hand resting on her hair and she leant into his touch like a cat. Before he crouched down so they were eye level. “I’ve told you a thousand times before, and I will keep telling you until you believe me. That debt has been paid,” He said.

Tasha sighed, but didn’t say anything, just leant lightly into his touch as he sat down properly next to her.

“I think I understand,” I said softly, causing the pair to look at me. “Why you were so upset the other day. The Red Room took everything from you, and over the years you’ve taken all but one thing back. They sterilized you. They permanently took that choice away from you. Whether you want children or not, they took away your ability to choose and Malia reminded you of that,”

Natasha looked away as Clint seemed to hold her tighter.

“Do you want children?” I asked carefully. Tasha hesitated.

“Not right now. _But_ I would have liked the choice,” She admitted softly, her voice quiet and filled with emotions, that was so heart breaking to hear from someone as guarded and strong as Natasha.

 “If you ever decide that the time is right… I would carry for you,” I said confidently. Two heads shot up, looking at me with wide eyes.

“Darcy…” Clint broke off, his voice cracking.

“Do mean that?” Natasha asked, looking up at me, hope evident in her eyes.

I nodded.

“Without a doubt. You deserve that choice. Just like every other person,” I said.

Natasha stared at me with wide eyes for nearly a full minute before she surged forward, throwing her arms around my neck, she buried her face into my shoulder, murmuring in rapt Russian, too fast for me to keep up as my shoulder became damp.

I wrapped my arms tightly around the redhead and looked up at Clint who stared at me in wonder, a soft smile on his lips. He raised his hands signing a simple phrase.

_Thank you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I took pieces of Marvel 616 and MCU's backstory for Natasha, so sorry if it's a little confusing. Also, I couldn't actually find any official version of Clint meeting Natasha so again, I improvised.
> 
> And as for Darcy's offer at the end of the chapter, surrogacy is something popular in Clintasha fics and it's also really awesome and although I don't want to carry kids for myself, I would offer to carry children for my friends without a second thought, just in case you think Darcy's offer is unreasonable or extreme!


	31. Loving The Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I never broke it, I was zip tied to a bed frame and it was annoying the other guy so he broke it…” He paused. Huh, Kinky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is sort of just a filler chapter, because I'm trying to work out if I should time jump to Thor:TDW because that's when things start to get interesting or if I should write what actually happens during March-October. Opinions?  
> No chapter warnings this time!!

Over the next few days things in the tower seemed to settle down and go back to normal.

I spoke to Chelsea or Mike every day, Malia was making sure they got very little sleep, but was otherwise perfect.

The Science Bros and Bras seemed to be working overtime on Thor knows what. Which made my job much harder.

“Tony you need to sleep at some point. We spoke about this with Pepper,” I said, handing Tony a plate of leftover pizza.

“I just need to build this,” He said, trying to assemble several plastic tubes.

“Is that… Is that a Potato Gun?” I asked in surprise. That was the last thing I had been expecting him to be building.

“Er yeah. Mark II. I need a favour?” He said, not looking up from his work.

“Whaddya need Bossman?” I asked, a hint of caution in my voice. Tony never asked for favours.

“I need you to find me a Limited Addition Dora The Explorer watch,” He said, I stared at him.

“Erm… Okay?” I said, already reaching for my tablet.

I spent the next hour scrolling through various websites holding up my tablet only for Tony to shake his head and say it was the wrong one.

“This one?” I asked, holding up a picture of the last watch on the page.

“Yes! Yes that one!” He exclaimed, pointing at the screen happily.

“Finally,” I breathed, placing an order. “I just scrolled through 300 Dora the Explorer watches. _300!”_ I stressed. Tony pulled a face but didn’t say anything. “Do I even want to know why you’re ordering a kids watch whilst making a Potato Gun?” I asked.

“They’re for Harley,” He said simply, locking two pieces of plastic together, he inspected it closely then pulled it apart again.

“Harley?” I prompted.

“Keener, Harley Keener and the watch is for his sister. I broke hers. Well, actually I never broke it, I was zip tied to a bed frame and it was annoying the other guy so _he_ broke it…” He paused. _Huh,_ _Kinky._ “That sounded less weird in my head,” He said and I rolled my eyes, discreetly searching through SI for a Harley Keener.

_No Results Found._

I scrunched up my face in confusion and hesitated for a second before pulling up the S.H.I.E.L.D. database.

_Clint and Nat are going to kill me._

It took a minute before a file came up.

Harley Keener lived in Rosehill, Tennessee with his mom and little sister. He spent a lot of time with Tony when he was missing and got kidnapped at one point.

Somebody cleared their throat loudly and I spun round to see Clint leaning against the doorframe with raised eyebrows.

I winced guiltily, quickly erasing my search history.

“Legolas, what can I do for you?” Tony asked.

“I was just wondering why the S.H.I.E.L.D. database was illegally accessed from Darcy’s tablet, _again?”_ He asked, Tony spun round to look down at me.

“How do you do that?” He asked. “Accessing the SI database is easier in this building ‘coz it’s Stark tech and a lot of Stark Industries computers. But S.H.I.E.L.D. devices aren’t allowed in here, so you’ll have to be doing that wirelessly at that is almost impossible given their security,”

“Loving the always!” I said, making his lips twitch at the reference. “It’s not hard,” I shrugged. “I got a degree in Computer Sciences when I was like sixteen without ever having to go to a class. There was a girl at this Internet Café I used to go to in Pennsylvania, she was bouncing between foster homes at the time. She taught me the fun stuff that School never taught me,” I said, with a slight smile. She was awesome.

“Who is this girl? I need to meet her,” Tony declared. I shrugged.

“She never knew her full name. Her foster family called her Mary Sue Potts. But she called herself Skye,” I said. _God knows where she was now. Probably still hacking her way through life. I wonder if she ever bought that van she was planning on living in…_

“However awesome it maybe it’s still illegal, Fury doesn’t seem to care at the minute because you’ve not looked at anything all that important at the minute, but the minute you look at the wrong file, they will arrest you,” Clint warned.

“Lemme guess. No WiFi or Netflix once S.H.I.E.L.D. makes you disappear?” I asked.

“Nope, just a dark cell in the middle of nowhere,” He said ominously. I rolled my eyes, tossing my tablet to the side.

“No more hacking S.H.I.E.L.D.. I got it!” I said holding my hands up in surrender.

Clint gave me a doubtful look.

“Until the next time,” He muttered. “Just be careful at what you look at,” He said and I nodded.

“You got it!”

.

Over the next few weeks things were perfect, Steve and I went on several much more private dates, he took me for a movie and dinner, we went to a climbing centre which was something I hadn’t done in years and was a lot of fun, even if Steve was much better at it than me, a lot of our “dates” we didn’t even need to leave the tower, between the restaurants on the retail floor and showing Steve every good movie there was, we didn’t really need to go far.

Although when we did leave the tower our pictures ended up everywhere, and the stories that went with them were pretty terrible, it wasn’t so bad when we just going out shopping or something, but with visits over to Chelsea’s that was something I didn’t want the world to know.

Tony seemed to be keeping a close eye on the calendar and one day took the jet to Tennessee, and when he came back he looked pretty pleased with himself, and later that night he was video chatting an over excited ten year old boy, which wasn’t as weird as it sounds.

Clint started dragging me down the gym and between him teaching me Archery and Natasha teaching me to throw knives as well as work, when I finally paused for a minute March was already around the corner.

Which meant plans for Clint’s birthday party were well under way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you check out my Snippets story, and lemme know what you think.  
> As always thank you for the comments and kudos! Y'all are awesome!!


	32. Happy Birthday Birdbrain!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We watched as Natasha and Clint were getting Clint to do some weird acrobatic archery which he was unsurprisingly good at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly forgot to post this!!   
> Last chapter before the time jump!!   
> Chapter Warnings: Drunk!Darcy, Drunk!Darcy trying to get into Steve's pants, Acrobatic Archer (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!)

 

“This is so weird,” Tony commented, wincing at the withering glare he got from Natasha.

“Looking good, Doll,” Steve said as he came to stand behind me as I put the finishing touches on the purple cake.

“Are you sure?” I asked, looking at it critically,

“He’ll love it,” He assured me, pressing his lips to the top of my head. I smiled slightly, setting the icing tube to the side and leaning back into his chest.

 _“Agent Barton has just got back to the tower, and is heading to his apartment to change,”_ Jarvis announced.

“He took his time,” Kate commented, from where she was sitting on the floor, with Lucky, her and Clint’s shared golden Labrador between her legs, her hand wrapped around his purple leash.

“Who is she again?” Tony asked, as I slid off of the bar stool, clearing away the various icing tubes.

“Hawkeye. The _real_ Hawkeye,” Kate said, Natasha smirked slightly rolling her eyes fondly.

“But I thought Barton was ‘the _real_ Hawkeye’?” Tony said, looking down at her in confusion.

“She’s Clint’s protégée,” Tasha supplied, crouching down to stroke Lucky, who whined, leaning further into her touch. Kate scowled at the title but didn’t comment.

“Wait, you’re Derek Bishop’s daughter,” Tony said, clicking his fingers. “I knew I recognised you from somewhere,” Kate’s scowl darkened slightly.

“Are we really going to sit here and talk about our families until Barton gets his ass up here? Because I’m sure we could make a drinking game out of ‘Who has the shittiest family’?” Kate quipped.

“Can we please not go there,” I requested, Steve’s arm tightened around my shoulder. “Every single person in this room either has a very shitty family, or no family at all,”

“I second that,” Kate said, raising her leash wrapped hand.

Tony raised his glass of water in agreement.

 _“Agent Barton is on his way up,”_ Jarvis announced.

The elevator doors slid open and Clint stepped out before pausing, staring at everybody in surprise. His eyes flickered up to the banners that Tony had insisted go up reading:

_Happy Birthday ~~Birdbrain~~ Hawkeye! _

Clint looked around, his mouth opening and closing several times, but no sound came out.

Kate grinned, unclipping Lucky’s leash, watching as he barked, bouncing across the room and jumping at Clint who stumbled back a step before crouching down to hug the overexcited dog who was trying to lick his face.

“Heya Lucky! Hey! Good boy!” He cooed, as Lucky rolled over onto his back, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

Tony cleared his throat loudly, drawing Clint’s attention away from the dog. Lucky whined as Clint stood up just in time to catch Kate who threw her arms around his neck.

“Happy Birthday!” She said. “I bought you pizza,” She said, pulling away and gesturing back to the fifty pizza boxes stacked across the counter.

“I knew I let you live in my apartment building for a reason,” Clint said with a grin, reaching out to pull Tasha close. She murmured something to him making him laugh in response.

“Wait a minute,” Tony said, holding up a hand. “You own an apartment building? Where?”

“Brooklyn,” Clint said vaguely, not caring to elaborate.

“You can afford an entire apartment building in Brooklyn?” Steve asked in surprise. Clint just shrugged, reaching for the pizza.

Pizza was eaten and the last four boxes were shoved in the fridge for tomorrow’s breakfast.

Jarvis queued Clint’s playlist and we moved towards the “party area” where it became a proper party.

Tony touched nothing alcoholic and Clint drunk nothing stronger than beer,

I took my eighth shot, laughing at Jane’s tipsy cheer.

We watched as Natasha and Clint were getting Clint to do some weird acrobatic archery which he was unsurprisingly good at.

“My turn!” Kate cried, kicking her boots and socks off as Clint dropped out of his handstand.

“No putting arrow holes in my walls,” Tony warned firmly.

“Don’t worry. If Barton can do it, then so can I!” She said, tucking her shirt into her jeans.

Tony rolled his eyes as he leant back against the wall. Kate rubbed her hands together before tipping forward into a handstand on the back of the couch.

“You good?” Clint asked, as she locked her elbows, tilting her body forwards and her legs back, she straightened her left leg and Natasha secured the compound bow between her toes, nocking the arrow, Kate bent her leg further back, hooking the bow string on her toes.

Clint and Natasha both stepped to the side, Natasha ready to catch Kate and Clint ready to catch the bow if she fell.

I stared, transfixed on Kate’s muscle control as she drew back the string, she tipped her head back as she tried to aim, she shifted her toes and released the string.

The arrow flew across the room, embedding itself in the edge of the wooden target that Steve had bought up.

Clint caught the bow as it slipped, making her balance falter and her arms shake dangerously.

Tasha reached out, putting a steadying arm on her hand as the younger girl dropped down to her feet.

Kate flipped her hair back, her face slightly red but she had a bright grin on her face.

“That was awesome!” She said, looking over at the target.

“More shots!” Jane cried and Lucky barked either in agreement or annoyance.

Betty who was behind the bar poured out shots of tequila or vodka, I don’t even know, it tasted nice and made me feel good.

One shot turned into two and two turned into five and before long the room was spinning and I wanted to dance.

“How many of those have you had?” Steve asked, coming up behind me as I tipped back another shot.

“Erm… A few?” I hummed, smiling back up at him innocently.

He rolled his eyes but smiled softly.

“You’re going to regret that in the morning,” He warned lightly.

“Hmmm,” I hummed, swaying slightly to the music. “Come dance with me,” I said, tugging on his hand slightly.

“You know I can’t dance Darce,” He said. I pouted, looking up at him, my arms sliding around his neck.

“Please?” I whined.

Steve bit his lip to stop himself grinning.

“Nu uh,” He shook his head.

I bit my lip, leaning up on tip toes I kissed him, our lips moulding together hungrily, one of my hands was in his hair, the other trailing lower down his back.

He pulled back.

“Darcy,” He breathed.

“Dance with me?” I asked, looking up at him with a slight smirk.

“Nope,” He shook his head stubbornly.

I leant forwards again, my lips trailing along his jaw stopping at his ear.

“Dance with me?” I breathed lowly.

Steve swallowed but still shook his head.

I pouted sadly, stepping backwards, I spun round to see Natasha leaning against the bar behind me, watching with a mixture of amusement and something else that my alcohol infused brain couldn’t decipher, as she looked over my shoulder at Steve.

“Tasha, he won’t dance with me,” I moaned petulantly.

“Good,” She said simply. “Because if he did _dance_ with you like this we’d be having words,” She said with a warning tone in her voice.

I scrunched up my face in confusion, not understanding the double meaning in her words.

“Why isn’t he allowed to dance with me?” I asked, stumbling slightly.

“Because drunk people shouldn’t dance,” She replied.

“Urgh,” I groaned, turning away from the two of them.

The night faded into the early hours of the morning and I danced with Jane, Betty, Clint and Kate. The earlier conversation with Steve and Natasha already forgotten.

It was nearing three am when everyone started to disappear back to their own apartments.

“C’mon Doll. Let’s get you home,” Steve said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as I stumbled off of the bar stool.

He steered me towards the elevator and I froze in front of the door.

“Nope, nu uh, nada,” I shook my head.

“Okay, stairs it is then,” Steve said, steering me back towards the stairwell.

It took ten minutes to get down the first floor and Steve sighed.

“Come here,” He said, tucking an arm under my knees, scooping me into his arms.

He carried me through my apartment, dropping me lightly on my bed, making me giggle as I bounced.

I clumsily un laced my boots as Steve disappeared back into my living room.

He reappeared with a tall glass of water in his hands, setting it on the nightstand.

I pushed myself to my feet, much better balanced without the heels.

I stared at Steve, my eyes drifting over where his tight shirt clung to his arms and the material pulled across his chest.

With a boost of confidence surged through me, and I walked across to my closet, pulling my shirt off over my head, tossing it on the floor. Reaching round I unzipped my skirt, letting it drop around my ankles.

I turned back to Steve who’s eyes were firmly fixed on my face.

Stepping towards him, my arms reached around his neck, our mouths meeting in a rough kiss, I fumbled with the bottom of his shirt, pulling away so I could yank it over his head, dropping it to the floor.

I trailed my mouth across his jaw and down the side of his neck. I felt the vibrations of his moan, making my hands trail down to his belt buckle.

“Darce,” He breathed, twisting his head away. I whined carrying on my path across his chest. “Darcy, no!”

He caught my shoulders, pulling me away.

“We can’t do this,” He said, his voice strained.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. I want this,” I said, reaching up to kiss him again, but he caught me.

“No you don’t. You’re drunk,” He said, looking down at me. I frowned.

“Guys don’t care. Guys like it better when I’m drunk,” I said in confusion. Something unfamiliar crossed his face but he shook his head.

“I don’t,” He said, running his thumb across my cheek.

“I don’t understand,” I muttered.

“I know you don’t,” He said softly. "That’s why we can’t do this. Now c’mon,” He pulled open my top drawer that was full of pyjamas, and took one of his shirts that I had stolen and helped me slide it on over my head. “Drink this,” He said, holding the glass of water to my lips, he made me finish the glass before guiding me towards me bed as fatigue started to set in.

“Stay,” I mumbled sleepily.

He nodded, tugging his shirt back on and sliding under the covers next to me.

I curled into his chest and let sleep take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled to write this so much, so I hope it's okay!!   
> Check out my Pinterest and Tumblr (I finally drew something for this story that I am happy enough to post!)


	33. Look After Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Still all muscly and everything. How’s space?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating early with Part 1 of 2 super long chapters.  
> This is the start of T:TDW. I've not re written it all, but bits and pieces of the movie are in the next two chapters. Any lines that you recognise aren't mine!  
> Also this is after a time jump so there is going to be lots if snapshots from the missing months in my companion story so check that out and be sure to send me requests to add to my list.  
> Chapter Warnings: I don't like Ian the intern, Panic Attack when she's talking to Jarvis.

Over the next nine months, the tower settled into a routine. I officially moved in with Steve, I spent most of my time in his apartment, so we thought why not make it official.

We spoke about what happened on Clint’s birthday, and he patiently helped me work through it.

He never pushed me too far and the second I wanted to stop, we did. It took a months to get to a stage where I didn’t want to stop, and he didn’t.

I’d like to officially declare the rumours about Captain America being inexperienced and a prude, are bullshit. Holy fuck! That man knew what he was doing and he was fucking good at it!

I should have known it wouldn’t last, that things wouldn’t stay perfect forever, because a phone call from Erik and everything went to hell.

We got the first plane to Heathrow and set up base at Jane’s mom’s place.

It was nearing the end of our second week in London and I took the stairs up to the apartment, flat, whatever, my new intern, who hadn’t stopped trying to look down my shirt since I picked him up, was trailing behind me.

“So Jane is totally harmless, until you get in the way of her science,” I explained. “After Thor left for the first time she was deadly, then New York happened and she calmed down a bit and focussed on something other than Asgard. But now with whatever we’re even here for, she’s trying to pretend she’s not interested, but she really is, so just don’t mention it unless she brings it up,” I said.

He looked slightly dazed but nodded as I unlocked the door, letting him in.

“Janey I’m back! Come meet my Intern!” I called out, only to be met with silence.

“My names Ian,” He said, I waved my hand for him to be quiet as I stuck my head into the bedroom.

Scrunching up my face in confusion at the empty apartment.

_Where was she?_

“I think this is for you,” Ian said, holding up a post it note, I leant over, snatching it out of his hand.

_Gone on a date. Don’t disturb me unless the worlds ending, and I mean actually ending, not Tony’s definition of ending!  
-Jane_

I rolled my eyes, tossing it back on the table and sighed.

“What now?” Ian asked, before I could open my mouth to reply but was cut off by a loud beeping. My head whipped round in confusion. My eyes scanning across the different machines, trying to find the source of the noise.

My eyes settled on the offending piece machinery.

It was one of the pieces Jane made with Tony, aka one of the few pieces of tech that isn’t held together with duct tape.

I snatched it off the table, my eyes widening at the erratic readings.

“What the fuck…?” I trailed off, hitting it against my hand, and when that did nothing I hit it against the table, which didn’t alter the readings.

“What is it?” Ian asked, as I hit it again. “Do you know what you’re doing with that?”

I glared at him. _Dude! I’ve been doing this for years!_

“Nothing good. It’s malfunctioning,” I said. Reaching for my laptop, making short work of the S.H.I.E.L.D. firewalls and running a trace for Jane’s phone. “We came here a couple of weeks ago because our friend, Erik, called us, rambling about some weird readings he was getting in London and about the end of the world. But he went crazy after what happened to him in New York last year, so Jane and I came here just to reassure him. It wasn’t supposed to be anything real, but this says otherwise,” I explained as the computer got a lock on Jane’s location.

_I miss Jarvis!_

“Let’s go,” I said, grabbing my bag and shutting down my computer.

I shoved the machine in my bag and practically ran out of the apartment, only pausing to lock the door.

I took the stairs two at a time and went straight for the car.

“Where are we going?” He asked.

“To get Jane,” I said, biting my lip as I cut through the traffic, debating whether or not to call Steve or the tower.

I shook my head, we’d see what it was first.

I took a sharp left turn before pulling over at the side of the road.

“Get in the back and wait here,” I instructed, not waiting for a reply, I was already out of the car, following the map on my phone to a fancy looking restaurant.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” The waitress at the door asked with a smile.

“Erm, I’m looking for my friend… Wait she’s over there it’s fine, thank you,” I said, darting around her, towards Jane who was sitting awkwardly opposite a cute looking guy.

I walked over.

“Hi. Um… could we get some wine please?” The guy said looking up at me. I stared at him. _I’m wearing a knitted coat and a beanie. Do I seriously look like a waitress?_

“Sure, I’d love some,” I quipped and Jane’s head snapped up at me in a mixture of alarm and surprise. “He’s cute,” I mouthed at her, giving a not so subtle thumbs up.

“Richard, this is Darcy,” She said, with an embarrassed laugh. “What are you doing here?”

I paid little attention, reaching for a chair at the next table, dragging it to sit next to her.

“Oh hello,” The cute guy, Richard, said, as I reached for a really nice looking slice of bread, suddenly remembered I had yet to eat lunch, I started buttering it.

“So, I show up to work at the lab-slash-your mom’s house, fully expecting you to be moping around in yesterday’s clothes, not having eaten, rambling about Thor knows what. But you’re not! You’re wearing lady clothes, you even showered without being prompted, didn’t you?” I said, smelling her raspberry shampoo. “You smell good,”

“Is there a point to all this?” She asked. “Because there really has to be a point to all this,”

“Right. You know that scientific equipment you don’t look at anymore? The ones relating to _you-know-what?”_ I said, getting back on point as I handed her the machine. “You might wanna start looking at it now. This is the reason we came all the way out here,” I said.

Jane looked down at it in confusion.

“It’s malfunctioning,” She said.

I rolled my eyes. “That’s what I said,” Watching as she started hitting it on the table. “That’s what I did! But you just hit a little more scientific,” Jane stared at it for a second, a wistfully look in her eyes before she snapped out of it, shoving the tech back into my hands.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” She said.

“Yeah,” Richard nodded. I ignored him.

“It doesn’t look like nothing. Kind of looks like the readings that Erik was rambling about,” I said, turning to Richard. “Our friend Erik, kind of went banana-balls,” I added.

“He’s not interested,” Jane said shoving me away. “Time for you to go now,”

“Okay,” I said with a smile, standing up to put my chair back, I hesitated, reaching back to take another slice of bread before disappearing back out of the restaurant, a satisfied smile on my lips.

I walked back to the car, sliding into the driver’s seat.

“Where is she?” Ian asked, I just grinned, still shoving bread in my mouth.

“Five… Four... Three… Two…” The car door was yanked open. “One,” I said, as she dropped into the passenger seat with a sigh.

“And I hate you,” She said.

“What?! I thought he was cute,” I said, shoving the last of the bread in my mouth.

“Just up and drive,” She said with a slight smile and I laughed, pulling away.

“You need to take the next right,” Ian said, leaning between the two front seats making Jane give a startled cry.

“Who’s he?” She asked.

“He’s my intern,” I said simply, taking a right.

“You have an intern?” She asked, looking over at me sceptically.

“Oh, yeah, I did tell you,”

“Hello, Doctor Foster. It’s uh… It’s a great honour to be working with you,” He said.

“Right,” Jane nodded awkwardly. “I have to call Erik,” She said, pulling her phone out.

“Oh, uh… take a right,” Ian said, I sighed, taking a sharp turn. “Left!” He cried and I yanked the car the opposite way down a narrow road.

“I have totally mastered driving in London,” I said, grinning at Jane’s scoff.

“Hi, Erik, it’s me again. Where are you? I came here because you said you were onto something and then vanished. Call me back?” She hung up with a worried sigh.

I pulled up outside an old abandoned looking factory and we climbed out of the car.

“Come on, this is exciting!” I said brightly, trying to cheer her up. “Look, the intern is excited,”

“Ian,” He corrected, and I ignored him. _Treat me with some respect and stop staring at my boobs and maybe I’ll make an effort to remember your name!_

“Do you want the phase meter?” I asked.

“No,” Jane said but nodded. _Make your mind up._

“Bring the phase meter,” I said, tossing Ian the car keys. “The toaster looking thing,” I added, remembering his earlier comment.

“I know what the phase meter is,” He grumbled.

I called Jane as she drifted towards the warehouse and I snickered as it played that annoying tune that Clint set her ringtone as during our prank war.

“How do I change the ring tone on this thing?” She asked before accepting the call without looking at the caller ID.

“An Astrophysicist with three degrees should be able to change her own ring tone,” I commented and she spun round to look at me.

 _“Why are you calling me?”_ She asked.

“I didn’t want to shout,” I shrugged, glancing back at Ian who was carrying the phase meter. “Intern, the entrance is this way,” I said, veering off to the left.

“Ian,” He said. “My name is Ian!”

I cut the call, as we walked into the warehouse.

I jumped at a loud noise behind us, spinning round my hand diving into my pocket, wrapping around my taser.

“I’m not getting stabbed in the name of science,” I hissed, before yelling out. “It’s okay, we’re Americans!”

“Is that supposed to make them like us?” She asked.

“They’ll make it go away…” A young girls voice muttered.

“Ssh!” Another kid hissed as three young kids, no older than twelve came out from their hiding places.

“Oh, they’re kids,” Jane sighed.

“Are you the police?” The only girl asked, stepping in front of the older looking boys.

“No, we’re scientists,” Jane said. “Well, I am,” 

“Oh, thanks,” I muttered. _After everything I do for you in the labs…_

“We just found it,” The Middle Eastern boy said.

“Can you show us?” Jane asked. He nodded, and they turned leading us through the warehouse to a large abandoned truck.

The other, dark skinned, older looking boy, stepped forward, putting just two fingers under the edge of the bumper.

My eyes widened, watching in amazement as the truck lifted weightlessly off the ground, rolling in mid-air.

“This way,” The girl said, leading us up several flights of stairs.

The younger boy ran up a floor higher, leaning over the rail holding out a bottle.

He dropped it down and my eyes widened as it disappeared into thin air.

“Where did it go?” I asked. The girl pointed upwards, I looked up and sure enough a second later the bottle reappeared, dropping down and disappearing in the same spot again. “That’s incredible,” I breathed, watching the cycle a couple more times before the older boy snatched the bottle out of the air.

Jane crabbed an empty can and dropped it down.

Sure enough, it disappeared into thin air, I looked up expectantly, but nothing happened.

“What happened?” She asked.

“Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don’t,” The girl shrugged.

“I want to throw something,” I said, looking around, only to find nothing left on the floor. “Jane, give me your shoe,” She wasn’t listening and had gone back to her tech.

“I haven’t seen readings like this since…” She trailed off in realisation.

“New Mexico?” I asked smugly. Jane gave me a pointed look, before smiling slightly, running off into the warehouse.

“Don’t touch anything,” She yelled over her shoulder and I laughed slightly before turning to Ian. “Give me your shoe,”

Ian stared at me for a second before handing me a pen instead.

I shrugged, dropping it over the rail, grinning in delight as it disappeared and then reappeared.

He laughed slightly, dropping something over, frowning as it didn’t reappear.

“Were those the car keys?” I asked slowly, Ian hesitated before nodding slightly. “Great,” I snapped, turning back to the kids. “I’m Darcy by the way,” I said.

“I’m Maddie,” The girl said. “That’s Navid and Shakur,”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said.

I mucked around with the kids for a while before looking down at my watch.

“Jane’s been gone nearly an hour and a half. How big is this place?” I asked.

“Just this warehouse,” Shakur said. “It’s not that big,”

Dread pooled in the pit of my stomach.

“Stay here. Do _not_ move!” I said firmly, pulling my taser out of my pocket and walking out the same way Jane left. “Jane?” I called. “Jane? Where are you?”

I searched the warehouse twice.

Dialling her phone several times.

_“Hi, this is Jane, I’m not here right now. Leave a message and I’ll get in touch,”_

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” I muttered, cutting her voicemail off for the ninth time.

I ran back to the stairwell where the kids were still with Ian.

“I can’t find her,” I said. I bit my lip, staring at the stairwell. I sighed, dialling Steve’s number.

_“This is Steve Rogers, leave a message and I’ll call you back,”_

I groaned.

_“It’s Clint, leave a number and I might call you back, who knows!”_

“C’mon,” I muttered.

_“This is Natasha, leave a number and I’ll call you back,”_

_“You’ve reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you,”_

I hung up, biting my lip.

_Breathe. It’s gonna be fine._

I tugged on my hair before calling the tower.

_“Good evening. You’ve reached Stark Industries at the Avengers Tower—,”_

“Security override 692-481,” I cut her off. “Put me through,”

 _“Right away Miss Lewis,”_ She said. There was a beep.

 _“Good evening Miss Lewis,”_ Jarvis said and I sighed in relief.

“Jarvis, thank god! Who’s in the tower?” I asked.

 _“I’m afraid nobody is currently in the residential floors. The Avengers are all on a mission and Miss Potss and Doctor Ross are in Miami,”_ He said.

“Fuck,” I said, my breath catching in my throat and I clutched the railing.

 _“Miss Lewis, are you okay?”_ He asked.

“I can’t – I can’t breathe,” I said.

 _“Might I suggest that you’re try one of the exercises Agent Romanoff makes you use. Count to ten in Russian then German then add a language if needed,”_ Jarvis said.

I clenched my eyes closed.

“Один… Два… Три… Четыре… Пять… Шесть… Семь… Восемь… Девять… Десять,” I took a deep breath.

 _“Good. And in German?”_ Jarvis prompted.

“Eins… Z – zwei… drei… vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, nein, zehn,” I took another deep breath, focussing back on the situation. “Okay… Do you have contact to Maria?” I asked, my mind reeling for who else to call.

 _“I’m afraid Agent Hill is currently off grid,”_ Jarvis said regretfully.

“Shit,” I muttered. _So much for emergency contacts!_ “The minute any of them are available, get them to call me. It’s an emergency!” I said, not waiting for a reply before hanging up.

I turned back to Ian and the kids who were all looking at me expectantly.

“Okay,” I sighed, tugging at my hair. _Focus!_ “I’m calling the police,” I said, Jane is going to kill me, but I’d rather she killed me than she was missing forever.

 _“999, what is your emergency?”_ The operator asked.

“My name is Darcy Lewis, I need you to trace my phone and send help. My friend, Doctor Jane Foster, has gone missing,” I said.

 _“Okay, Ma’am. I’m tracing your phone now,”_ There were several beeps in the background. _“We’re sending officers to your location now,”_

“Thank you,” I said, cutting the call, sliding my phone back into my pocket. I looked back over at the kids.

“You guys should get home. Things around here are about to get crazy,” I said.

“I know you,” Maddie said, staring at me. “You’re the Darcy Lewis from New York. You’re friends with the Avengers,” She said and I nodded. “Are the Avengers coming?” She asked, I crouched down, reaching out to hold her hand.

“Not yet,” I said. “I don’t know what’s happening yet. So I need you guys to get home, just so I know you’re safe if something bad happens, okay?” I looked between the three of them, they all nodded. “Good, now go!”

The three kids sprinted down the stairs and I turned to Ian.

“You should go to,” I said, he shrugged but didn’t move.

I grabbed the rest of Jane’s/S.H.I.E.L.D.’s tech, taking it back down to shut securely in the car.

I leant on the hood, my head pressed into my hands and waited.

Half an hour later the cops showed up, it had nearly been five hours… The cops didn’t believe or didn’t understand a word I was saying, and I’m pretty sure they’re going to arrest me.

“Darcy, look!” I looked up at Ian’s voice, following where he was pointing to see a very confused and a very angry Jane run out of the warehouse, thunder crashing overhead

“Jane!” I cried, running towards her. “Where the hell were you?” I asked, relief washing through me.

“Tell me you didn’t call the police!” She yelled and I flinched slightly.

“What was I supposed to do?” I asked.

“Not call the police!” She snapped.

“I was freaking out!” I said defensivly.

“You call the cops they tell the feds, next thing you know we have S.H.I.E.L.D. crawling all over area fifty-one and wanting the place,” She yelled.

“Jane!” I protested.

“We had a stable gravitational anomaly, we had unheeded access. Our only competition was ten years old!” She ranted.

“Jane, you were gone for five yours!” I yelled over her. Jane’s eyes widened and her face softened before she pulled me into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry,” She muttered.

Thunder cracked loudly and I pulled away, suddenly noticed the pouring rain, soaking everything except for a large circle around us that stayed perfectly dry.

“That’s weird,” I commented. Jane looked round, freezing as she stared across the courtyard, I stepped around her and I couldn’t help but grin at the sight of Thor stood there, hammer in hand, his cloak billowing around him.

Jane shoved the computer into my hand and walked towards him, the invisible barrier holding back the rain seemed to move with her. The cold rain suddenly dropping down on my head, making my gasp in surprise.

“Typical,” I muttered, pulling my coat over my head.

I watched as Jane stopped in front of him, before suddenly slapping him across the face and I winced.

He seemed to say something before she slapped him again.

I could tell she was ranting from here, Thor said something and her shoulders slackened, I watched as he cupped the side of her head.

“Hey!” I stepped forward, stopping them before anything happened. “Is this you?” I said, stepping into the rain free bubble.

Thor looked up, as if for the first time noticing it was raining and it stopped instantly.

I sighed, dropping my coat back on my shoulders properly.

“We’re kinda in the middle of something,” Jane said. I smirked, waggling my eyebrows at her, causing her to blush.

“Um… I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested,” I said, gesturing to the angry cops behind us.

She sighed, looking back at Thor.

“Hold that thought,” She said before running towards the cops.

I looked up at Thor, as massive as he was, for some reason he didn’t terrify me, and I don’t know why.

“Look at you,” I said, poking his metal armour teasingly. “Still all muscly and everything. How’s space?” I asked.

“Space is fine,” Thor said, looking down at me with an assessing gaze. “Are you well Lady Darcy?” He asked, I hesitated, remembering the conversation we had in New Mexico, all those years ago and I shrugged.

“I’m better,” I said, he smiled encouragingly. Opening his mouth to say something but a bright red force seemed to shoot out around Jane, throwing everything everywhere, smashing the windows of the cars.

I screamed, ducking into Thor’s arms as he, curled himself over me protectively.

He glanced down at me to make sure I was okay before running towards Jane who was laying on the floor unconscious.

Thor knelt next to her, helping her stand up.

_What the fuck…_

The cop pulled himself to his feet, his baton raised as I rushed forward.

“Place your hands on your head, step back!” He yelled, fear in his voice.

“This woman is unwell,” Thor said.

“She’s dangerous,” The cop said.

Thor looked up, glaring darkly at them.

“So am I!” He said darkly, pulling Jane close to him. He glanced over at me and I nodded.

_Look after her!_

Thor gave a slight nod before looking up at the sky, the burning light of the bifrost encased them, pulling them up.

The officers and Ian all fell backwards in alarm but I walked forward, stepping onto the scorched tarmac, looking up at the fading light.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed with a grin. _That was never going to get old!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So were the changes okay? I changed Jane the most because the whole "Thor left so she gave up science completely and was still not over it several years later" just didn't work for me. So I made it so she was still sad, yes, and she stopped trying to find Asgard, but still worked as a leading astrophysicist.  
> Lemme know what you think and gifs and pics will be put up on tumblr and pinterest as always.  
> Also my mum bought me a really awesome book on Norse Mythology so I'm reading up on that before I write loads of Thor.


	34. Everybody Okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first, you’re not allowed to be mad because I tried to call you when things were just weird and not bat shit crazy. So, that’s your fault. Thor’s back, he took Jane who is possessed by some weird explodey thing and they’ve gone to presumably Asgard. I’m pretty sure everything’s about to go to hell, so I’d appreciate some back up, because these science machines are going crazy and I have no idea what half of them mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monday again!! This week seemed to go really slowly, but I can finally post!!  
> Chapter Warnings: Kissing without consent, I don't like Ian Boothby, Thor: TDW.

I looked around, noting that the Bifrost had taken the front of a car with it. The cops were running around madly so I stepped back, snapping a quick picture of the markings on the floor before slipping round, and grabbing the tech out of the trunk of the car, pulling Ian towards the road before the cops could notice we were gone.

“What just happened?” He asked, as I shoved the tech in his arms, hailing a cab.

“I have no idea. But Jane is safe and that’s all that matters,” I said.

“But that was Thor!” He exclaimed glancing back towards the warehouses.

“Yup. He took Jane to presumably Asgard, he’ll help her with whatever just happened,” I assured him.

I climbed into the cab, rattling the apartments address to the driver.

Thankfully the drive back to the apartment didn’t take that long and Ian and I carried the stuff up to the apartment, dropping it all on a table.

I put the news on, looking for any sign of Thor, whilst tossing my coat over a chair, pacing across the room, my phone pressed to my ear.

“Hey Steve,” I said. “Okay, basically, Jane’s been possessed by some red explodey thing, but she’s fine, I think, I hope. Thor came back, then took Jane away after some cops attacked her. I’m in the apartment, cops are probably on their way and I can’t get hold of anybody. Also, we cannot find Erik _anywhere._ Call me back when you get a chance?”

I hung up, automatically dialling Clint, not surprised when that went through to answerphone too.

“Okay, first, you’re not allowed to be mad because I tried to call you when things were just weird and not bat shit crazy. So, that’s your fault. Thor’s back, he took Jane who is possessed by some weird explodey thing and they’ve gone to presumably Asgard. I’m pretty sure everything’s about to go to hell, so I’d appreciate some back up, because these science machines are going crazy and I have no idea what half of them mean,” I said.

Next on my list was the emergency number Coulson had given me in New Mexico.

_“This number has been disconnected. This number has been –,”_

“Erik isn’t calling me back. Stupid S.H.I.E.L.D. isn’t calling me back!” I groaned in frustration.

“What’s S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Ian asked.

“It’s a secret,” I snapped, before leaving Erik another message. “Hey, Erik. It’s Darcy _again._ Uh… Thor came back, he took Jane to Asgard and I’m not sure what to do…”

“Darcy, you really need to look at this. Your friend Erik, what was his last name again?” I looked round, my eyes widening at the news story.

“Aw, shit!” I said, cutting the call.

Ian paused the program on a picture of Erik running round Stonehenge naked.

I took a deep, focussing breath, dialling the number on the screen.

_“Good afternoon, this is the hotline regarding information on Doctor Erik Selvig. How may I help you?”_

“My name’s Darcy… Selvig? I’m Doctor Selvigs daughter in law. I’ve just seen the news. We’ve been so worried, I haven’t been able to get hold of him for days,” I said.

_“Just one moment Mrs Selvig. Let me just transfer you to my supervisor,”_

There was a couple of beeps.

_“Yes?”_

“Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me where my father in law, Doctor Erik Selvig was taken to after he was arrested this morning?” I asked.

_“And you are?”_

“Darcy Selvig. His sons wife,” I lied, looking at Ian’s startled expression and shrugged.

The guy at the other end of the phone gave me an address that I typed straight into google maps, and I cut the call before he could keep rambling about ID.

“I’m so going to get arrested…” I muttered, making myself a new fake ID. “Intern, I need an ID photo, stand there,” I said, pulling him to stand in front of the white wall.

I grabbed my cell phone. Thanking Thor for Stark’s ultra HD photo’s, snapping a passport like photo and uploading it straight onto the ID.

I watched the two cards print. Drumming my fingers on the table as I chewed on my pen.

“Here, take this,” I said, handing the card to Ian. “You’re going to pretend to be Erik’s son, married to me, so we can get him out of there. Understood?”

Ian hesitated before nodding, sliding the drivers licence into his wallet.

“When they ask you a question, answer simply, or let me answer it. And when you’re with Erik. _Do not_ under any circumstances mention Loki or New York. They are not good memories for him,” I said, shoving my laptop in my bag, just in case.

It took nearly an hour and a half to reach the Psychiatric Hospital, and I leant on the desk, smiling at the guy at the computer.

“Hi, we’re here to pick up Doctor Erik Selvig,” I said. “This is his son Ian and I’m his daughter-in-law, Darcy,”

“Can I see some ID please?” He asked, we both handed over the ID’s and I watched as he studied them.

He nodded after a minute, handing them back to us as he picked up his phone.

“Erik Selvig is being discharged, bring him down please,” He put the phone back down. “He’s on his way. You’ll have to sign for your father’s belongings, Mr Selvig,” I nudged Ian who wasn’t paying attention.

“What? Oh, yeah. My father, Doctor Erik Selvig,” I rolled my eyes, digging my heel into his toes, making him reach for the forms.

“One man’s leather wallet, brown. One key ring with three keys. Prescription medicine,” He placed a large bag, containing several pill bottles on the counter. “Various,” He kept placing more items on the counter but my attention drifted to Erik who was being lead towards us.

“Erik,” I called, waving.

“Yes?” He looked up at me, a blank expression on his face, as he came to stand in front of me.

“It’s uh… Darcy,” I said, slightly unsure if this was going to work or not.

“Darcy!” Erik’s face lit up, pulling me against him in a tight hug, making me tense. “It’s so good to see you,” He said.

“Uh… I missed you too,” I said, trying to pull myself out of his arms.

“How did you find me?” Erik asked.

“You were naked on TV,” Ian replied, joining us.

“Okay, time to go. Lot’s to do,” I said, though Erik still wouldn’t let go. “Getting weird now,” I said, pulling his arms off of me. “I should not be left in charge of stuff like this, I don’t get paid enough. Stark and his crap I can deal with, even he’s not _this_ bad,” I ranted as we walked out of the door.

“I’m uh…I’m Ian by the way. Uh… Darcy’s intern. I don’t get paid at all,” He said, watching as Erik took a handful of pills. “Are you alright?”

“I have had a God in my brain. I don’t recommend it,” Erik said and I winced.

_This could have been Clint…_

The machines in Ian’s arms started to beep rapidly.

“Doctor Selvig, your gear is beeping at me,” Ian said, sounding slightly alarmed.

“It’s happening, sooner than I calculated,” Erik said.

“Wait, what’s happening?” I asked, but Erik was watching a flock of birds circling around in unison before disappearing like the bottles earlier. “Birds are happening?”

“They’re starlings, it’s called a murmuration,” Ian supplied.

“Where’d they go?” I asked, as soon as the words left my mouth it was like they flew up out of the pavement. I screamed, throwing my arms over my head as they flew around me. “What the hell was that?” I asked in alarm, glaring at Erik’s smiling.

“There’s nothing more reassuring than realizing that the world is crazier than you are,” Erik said, tossing the bag of medication in a trash can. “Take me to Jane’s lab!”

We got back to the apartment and the first thing I did was order several pizza’s, Erik scratched his head, looking over the calculations, before unbuckling his pants.

“Um… Erik… What are you doing,” I asked as he kicked his shoes off and pulled his pants off, thankfully he was wearing underpants.

“It helps me to think,” He said, I bit my lip and nodded.

I scanned through my phone, looking for any mention of Thor or the Avengers, only to come up with nothing.

I carried on scrolling looking for _anything_ until the pizza guy knocked on the door, and I billed Tony.

I watched Erik work, it was strange, but it was sad.

What Loki did to him and Clint, effected them differently.

Clint was helped quicker. Clint got the proper help he needed afterwards. Erik hadn’t and it had driven him to this…

The three of us worked in unison for several hours, and I kept sidestepping Ian, who kept leering closer towards me, making suggestive and sexist comments until the door banged open, and Jane strode in wearing a long blue, silk dress with silver armour across her chest.

“Jane!” I exclaimed in surprise. “The whole world is going crazy! All the stuff we saw is spreading,” I paused, looking between her dishevelled state and Thor, hanging Mew-mew on a coat hook. “Did you go to a party?”

“Erik?!” Jane gasped, looking at Erik in a mixture of concern and surprise.

“Jane, how wonderful!” He leapt from his chair hugging her tightly. “You’ve been to Asgard,”

“Where are your pants?” She asked in concern.

“He says it helps him think,” Ian supplied.

“Okay…” Jane said before nodded. “Well, I’m gonna need everything you got on this. All the work you’ve been doing on gravimetric anomalies, everything,”

“Okay,” Erik nodded.

“I’m going to change,” She said, walking towards the bedroom.

“Are you well Erik?” Thor asked, looking at his dishevelled state in concern.

Erik chuckles slightly and nods before his smile fades.

“Your brother is not coming, is he?” He asked.

Thor looked like Erik had just kicked him.

“Loki is dead,” He said sadly.

“Oh, thank god,” Erik sighed. Thor looked up at him with a slight glare. “I’m so sorry,” He said.

“Thank you,” Thor nodded right before Erik hugged him briefly before rushing back to work.

Jane came back and she and Erik were bouncing ideas backwards and forwards, I took a moment to slide towards Thor.

Reaching up to gently wrap my arms around his neck.

“Darcy?” He said softly in surprise.

“I’m sorry, about Loki. I lost my brother too,” I said too quiet for anyone else to hear.

Thor sighed, wrapping his arms around me, in a gentle, but secure bear hug, and it felt like the safest place on the planet.

“If you need anything. Just ask,” I said, letting him pull away. He ducked his head slightly but managed a small smile.

“Thank you, Lady Darcy,” He said softly, I smiled slightly in return.

We spent all night talking about various scenarios that could possible happen and sure enough we went to Greenwich the next day, and everything went to shit.

A massive spaceship appeared in thin air, heading straight towards us, straight towards a College full of people.

And with the massive spaceship, of course, came hundreds of evil looking Dark Elves, who could knock Thor on his ass.

I ran across the campus, Dark Elves behind me, mentally thanking Natasha and Clint for all of the times they’d shoved me onto a treadmill.

A couple of F-22’s that might have been S.H.I.E.L.D.’s were flying round the ship, before disappearing into thin air.

“Get down!” I screamed, shoving Ian behind a car as a group of Dark Elves shot Star Wars like laser beams towards us.

I stared in shock as a massive sabre-toothed yeti appeared in the middle of the street.

I pulled myself to my feet and froze, five Dark Elves were less than two feet in front of me.

The car that Ian was hiding behind suddenly lifted up, turning over in the air and slammed down on top of the Elves.

“You alright?” Ian asked, tossing the bumper to the side.

“You saved my life,” I breathed.

“Yeah, I guess I did,” He said.

I reached up to hug him, but he grabbed my waist, his fingers digging into my skin and he kissed me.

_No. No. No. No._

I tried to pull away, but he just wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer.

A bright blue light surrounded us and the next moment we were stood across the campus, but Ian hadn’t seemed to notice and was still attacking my face.

I gave up trying to push him away, and just stood there.

“Darcy?!” Ian jumped away at the sound of Jane’s voice.

“Jane!” I cried in relief.

“Ian?” Erik said, looking down at where Ian had fallen on the floor.

“Selvig!” Ian said with an idiot grin that I would have punched off of his face had Thor’s hammer not chosen that moment to fly above our heads.

“Mew-Mew!” I cried.

Without thinking about it I ran back towards the main campus, after the hammer.

Ducking behind a pillar as we stared up at the large holes in the sky.

They looked a little bit like the wormhole in New York.

Red smoke rose up from the ship, twisting in mid-air and disappearing into the darkness.

I watched as Thor took the spikes from Erik, before running straight into the eye of the storm.

The smoke cleared as something seemed to explode and Thor was thrown backwards through the air.

Jane ran forwards, trying to pull him out of the way as the spaceship tilted, starting to drop towards them.

“Jane!” I screamed in warning as it fell.

Ian grabbed hold of my shoulders, stopping me from running towards them.

“Get off of me,” I yelled, but he held me in place and I stood helplessly watching as Jane threw herself over Thor’s chest, as if she could protect him from being crushed.

Blue light shot out from the ship, disappearing just two feet above them.

I sighed in relief. _They were okay!_

“Everybody okay?” Erik called out, a bright, sane looking grin on his face as he dropped the machine.

The F-22’s reappeared, circling above us and I grinned.

_It was over!_

Ian spun me around, slamming his lips against mine again but this time I managed to push him away. Wiping my mouth on the back of my sleeve, trying not to think about Steve as guilt pooled in my stomach.

“Stop doing that!” I cried, tears burning my eyes as I turned to walk back towards Thor and Jane, who were pulling themselves to their feet.

Jane looked round at my tear stricken face and threw her arms around my neck.

I felt a large hand on my back and I relaxed into them, melting into the safety.

_We’re safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to let me know what you think and a new Snippet should go up in the next couple of days.  
> More stuff is going to go up on my Pinterest and Tumblr today so make sure you check that out!!


	35. 1800 London Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where one of them was, the other was never far behind.  
> .  
> I hesitated before quietly adding. “I’m glad you’re not dead,”  
> .  
> Wait a minute. Did he say -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is insanely long, I got really carried away and couldn't decide where to split it.  
> It basically wraps up London and Darcy deals with her guilt.  
> IT'S GOT A HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE!!  
> Also, I saw Civil War... I can't even... I'm thinking about including bits and pieces into this story, but I'm not sure yet. We'll see closer to the time. I just really can't wait to write Wanda!   
> Chapter Warnings: Domestic Violence, Guilt, Talking about No means no, AoS 01x08,

We went back to the apartment and I collapsed on the couch, wiggling my phone out of my pocket, exhaustion setting in.

I looked down at my phone.

_19 Missed Calls._

_-Maria Hill (4)_  
          -Clint (6)  
          -Steve (9)

I scrolled through my messages.

 _From Steve:_  
-I was on a mission, is everything okay?  
-Darcy what’s going on?  
-Are you okay?  
-We’re on the way back to the tower. We can’t get to London in time?  
-Let me know you’re okay, please?  


_From Clint:_  
-What is going on??  
-Thor’s back??  
-There are aliens in London?? Not werewolves, aliens??!!!  
-Darcy call me or Steve or someone!  
-Steve’s very worried.  
-We’re on our way back to the tower, then we’re coming to London.

_From Nat:  
-Let us know you’re safe asap. _

I sighed with a slight smile.

_To Steve, Clint & Natasha:   
Everything’s fine guys! Thor’s back and the Dark Elves are gone, it’s safe._

Jane and Thor spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch together while I did everything I could to dodge Ian.

The sun started to set and Thor declared he had to go.

“It will only be for a short time. I swear I will return,” He said, Jane frowned but nodded, clearly disappointed.

Thor cupped the side of her face, kissing her softly.

“I will return,” He promised, she grinned and nodded.

I reached up. Hugging him tightly.

“Hurry back,” I said softly. He hugged me tighter before setting me down on my feet.

We stepped back inside watching as the bifrost surrounded him and then he was gone.

Janes shoulders dropped.

“I’m going to bed,” She declared, and without another word she disappeared into our room.

“Me too,” I said, going after her.

Now that Erik was back he was taking my room and Jane and I were sharing a bed for a couple of days.

We changed in silence, climbing into bed I waited. After a minute she sniffled.

I reached out wrapping my arms around her, letting her curl into my side as she cried.

I didn’t say anything, just held her as she cried.

.

I hardly slept that night, Jane cried herself to sleep and I stared up at the ceiling for several more hours before sleep took over, only for the nightmares to come.

I shot upright in a cold sweat, looking around the room in panic.

It was still dark outside and Jane was still sleeping soundlessly besides me.

I carefully slid out of bed, reaching for my phone.

_From: Clint.  
We’re coming to pick you up tomorrow._

_From: Steve.  
Clint’s gonna come and get you. Stark and I have been called out again. I’ll see you when you get back._

I sighed in disappointment but shot both of them a reply.

At least I’d be out of here soon.

I grabbed my laptop and settled in the armchair in the corner of the room, aimlessly killing time by breaking down various firewalls and testing the neighbours WiFi.

Jane stirred as the sun started to crack through the windows, and I watched as she blinked open her eyes before frowning. Remembering that Thor had left.

“No wallowing,” I said, closing my laptop and setting it on the floor. I walked over to the bed, practically dragging her out of it, ignoring her protests. “Nope, go shower, and I will make breakfast,” I said, shoving her into the ensuite. “And if you’re longer than half an hour I will come and drag you out,” I warned. She just slammed the door in response.

I moved through into the kitchen, starting the coffee machine and rummaging through the cabinets, not caring if I woke Ian, who was sleeping on the couch.

I laid out the table with one hand, a mug of hot coffee in the other.

Erik and Ian materialised, Erik helping himself to coffee and Ian to tea.

Jane appeared twenty minutes later, looking much more human than before. She dropped into a chair, and I set a mug of coffee in front of her as she stabbed at her bowl of cereal.

“He’s gonna come back,” I assured her. “Except, you know, last time he was gone for like two years,” I added.

“Well, it’s only been a day, so…” Jane trailed off, not really sure if she believed he was coming back or not.

“Did he say anything before he left?” Erik asked.

“Yeah, he had to figure some stuff out with his father. He kind of committed treason… on our way out,” She finished awkwardly looking away.

“Treason?” I asked in surprise. She grinned slightly but shrugged.

“Odin sort of didn’t want us leaving. So we might have released Loki and smashed through the throne room in a stolen spaceship,” She said.

I grinned.

_Now that sounded like a fun, except for the whole Loki part._

“What was it like?” I asked. “Asgard?”

Jane’s eyes lit up brightly.

“It was amazing, so beautiful,” She gushed. “Very gold, the palace, the bifrost it was all gold, but you looked out at the night and it was so beautiful, you could see so many stars and planets, even during the day you could look up and see different planets,” She said with a wistful smile.

Breakfast passed and I moved over to the sink to start washing up, rolling my eyes as Ian drifted next to me.

Erik got up from the table, drifting over to the whiteboard to carry on his calculations.

I flinched violently at the sudden crash of thunder, splashing dishwater down my hoodie.

My head whipped round, watching with wide eyes as a bright light flared through the window.

_The Bifrost._

Jane’s face lit up brightly as she practically ran through the apartment and out onto the roof.

Erik gave a small smile from across the room, watching as Jane practically threw herself at Thor, kissing him passionately.

Ian reached out, resting his hand on my shoulder, trying to pull me closer, but I shrugged him away with a glare.

I thanked Frigga, Thor and Odin as my phone chose that minute to chime across the room.

I stepped around Ian, grabbing my phone and smiling.

_From: Clint  
Bringing the Quinjet. Be there at about 18:00 London time._

I walked over to the roof door, leaning against the frame, clearing my throat loudly. They broke apart and I bir my lip to stop myself laughing at the faint pink tinge that rose across Thor’s cheeks and the totally unashamed grin across Jane’s face.

“Lady Darcy!” Thor exclaimed, stepping forwards I threw my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. Thor hesitated in surprise before hugging me back. “Are you well?” He asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

My eyes drifted to Ian over his shoulder.

“Mmm, I’m fine,” I said, letting go and stepping back slightly, wrapping my arms around myself.

He stared at me doubtfully for a minute before nodding, still looking unconvinced.

“Clint’ll be here to pick us up at about six. He’s bringing the Quinjet,” I told them.

“Is Nat coming with him?” Jane asked. _Where one of them was, the other was never far behind._

“Probably,” I shrugged. “Until then. I am going for a walk, see what’s happening to the bits of spaceship left behind,” I said.

“Be safe,” Jane said, reaching out to squeeze my arm, giving me a knowing look as we walked inside.

“I will, I assured her, grabbing my taser off the table, shoving it in my jacket pocket.

I sidestepped Ian as he reached towards me, making Thor scrunch up his face I confusion.

Erik gave a slight wave as I pulled open the door.

I took the stairs two at a time and went out the security door, taking a right turn back towards the city.

As I got closer to Greenwich University I started to skip past pieces of rubble in the street.

“You can’t come through here, Miss,” A guy in a familiar black tactical suit said, holding his arm out to stop me.

I nodded, about to keep walking when something, or rather somebody, across the green caught my eye, making me freeze.

Across the grass a tall stern looking Asian women walked with a younger, fair skinned women walked towards one of the buildings. Between them walked a middle aged, very familiar, very much alive man.

“Son of a bitch,” I muttered. Stepping around the level one agent towards them.

“Miss! You can’t come through here. It’s classified!” He exclaimed, grabbing my arm, I whirled round to face him.

“Firstly, let me go before I make you let go. Secondly, I know that you’re S.H.I.E.L.D., I’ve worked with you lot before. Thirdly, I know that Agent. Fourth, I share an apartment with Captain America, and am on very good terms with Agents Romanoff, Barton _and_ Hill as well as the rest of the Avengers.

“My name is Darcy Lewis, look me up, because I’m pretty sure I have a higher clearance level than you,” I snapped. The guy stared at me in surprised, but still had hold of my arm. _“Let. Me. Go!”_ I said through clenched teeth.

I tried to yank my arm out of his grip, but he just tightened his hand making me wince. _That would bruise._ Gritting my teeth I reached out, grabbing his arm and twisting it, stepping forward I flipped him over my shoulder, giving a satisfied smirk as he hit the floor.

I ignored the yelling from other Agents, probably drawing weapons, but my eyes were fixed on _him._

Agent Coulson and the two women had stopped walking and were now looking over at me.

The older woman went to step forwards but Coulson’s hand on her arm stopped her. He stepped around her, yelling at the guards to stand down.

My glare didn’t waver as he came to stand in front of me.

“Darcy,” He said. Tears burnt my eyes but I refused to let them fall as I drew my arm back, my fist connecting with his jaw, snapping his head to the side.

“You’re actually –,” I broke off, throwing my arms around his neck, clutching onto his stupid suit jacket. His arms came around me, hugging me back for a moment, before I pulled away, staring at him in both anger and amazement. “You look pretty good for a dead guy,” I said bitterly. He opened his mouth to reply but my phone chimed, I held up a hand to silence him as I looked down at the message.

_From: Clint  
Nat’s coming with me._

I smiled slightly, shooting back a quick okay, sliding my cell back in my pocket, before realisation sunk in.

“Oh my god… Clint!” I exclaimed angrily. “How could you? You know he blames himself for your death, right? Nat and Tony aren’t much better. None of them are, even Pepper. How could you?!”

Phil’s expression morphed into guilt.

“I know,” He said softly.

Next to him, the younger girl shuffled uncomfortably, my eyes drifted to her, she looked no older than me, maybe younger. She was around the same height, with highlighted light brown hair that was pulled back into a practical ponytail and pretty brown eyes.

“Darcy meet Doctor Jemma Simmons and Agent Melinda May. Simmons, May, this is Darcy Lewis. She works for Jane Foster, she was in New Mexico,” Coulson said.

“I actually work for Pepper now,” I corrected. “It’s nice to meet you,” I added with a smile.

Simmons smiled slightly and May gave a nod, I looked up at the latter.

“Melinda May,” I said, realising why the name sounded so familiar. “Natasha and Clint speak very highly of you,” I said, she gave the ghost of a smile and another nod.

“You were in New Mexico?” Simmons asked with wide eyes. “Oh, Skye is going to love this!” She breathed. “Do you know Thor?”

“Know Thor? I tased Thor!” I said proudly. Coulson rolled his eyes as Simmons and May’s eyes both widened slightly.

My phone chimed again, I looked down at it and my smile slid off of my face.

_From: The Intern  
Where are you? I’ll come and meet you xxxxxxxx_

I cringed slightly.

“Everything okay?” May asked, looking at me suspiciously.

“Fine,” I nodded, sliding my phone back in my back pocket without replying. “Just Clint with an ETA,” I lied. May raised an eyebrow in a way that reminded me eerily of Nat. Phil gave me a sceptical look and I rolled my eyes. “It’s fine!” I said forcefully.

“Coulson!” A guy, in his late twenties, early thirties jogged towards us. He was not as tall as Steve, with short dark hair. He was surprisingly wearing a pair of black jeans and a black leather jacket, not the usual S.H.I.E.L.D. attire.

“Ah, Agent Ward, meet Darcy Lewis. Darcy, Agent Grant Ward,” Coulson said, with a vague gesture. Ward gave a slight nod that I returned before leaning close to Coulson, whispering something that made Coulson’s face harden.

“I’ll let you get back to your clean up,” I said taking the hint. “Sorry for the mess and the Avengers send their regards, oh wait, no they don’t, because they think you’re dead,” I quipped. Coulson’s glare turned to me. “It was a pleasure to meet the rest of you,” I said with a genuine smile. All three nodded in return and Doctor Simmons gave a small smile before I turned to walk away.

“Darcy!” Coulson called out and I paused, his sudden hand on my shoulder made me flinch involuntarily, _Screw you Ian, I was getting over that,_ I turned back to see his eyes softening. “They can’t know yet,” He said softly. “They’ll find out when the time is right, but I’d like to be the one to tell them,” He said.

I clenched my jaw angrily. I live with these people, spend 90% of my time with them and they all know me inside and out.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please,” He said and I sighed.

“Okay, I won’t tell them,” I said, scowling across the campus. I hesitated before quietly adding. “I’m glad you’re not dead,” Coulson gave the slightest of smiles before I turned and walked away.

I paused as I reached the guard I put down, proud of his slightly wary look.

“I’m sorry. But next time a woman tells you to let go, let go,” I said.

“Yes ma’am,” He said with a respectful nod which I returned.

.

I took my time walking back through London, knowing that I’d have to face Ian eventually.

He’d kissed me, twice, and didn’t seem two care that one: I was leaving in two hours. Two: I was very publicly dating Captain America and Three: I’d told him several times to stop and that I wasn’t interested.

I finally made it back to the apartment – flat, whatever – and Jane buzzed me in.

I walked slowly up the stairs and took a steadying breath before pushing the front door open.

I scanned the room several times. Thor was sitting at the dining room table, watching Jane and Erik write strings of calculations. Ian’s phone lay on the table, yet he was nowhere to be seen.

“On the roof,” Jane said, not looking up from the whiteboard. “Clint called. They’ll be here any minute,” She said and I heard the double meaning in her tone. _Do you really want Ian here with Nat and Clint?_ No. No I really don’t.

Dumping my bag on the couch I walked straight outside where Ian was leaning against the rail, looking out over the city.

“You’re back,” He said, a familiar, painful sharpness in his voice.

“Yeah,” I breathed, stopping several feet behind him.

“Where’d you go?” He asked.

“Just for a walk, to the college,” I said. “They were cleaning everything up,”

He grunted, still not looking up.

“Look Ian. You kissed me, more than once, and that can’t happen again,” I started. “For a start I don’t want to kiss you, or be with you or anything. I’m sure you’re a great guy and all, but I live the other side of the world and I am in an amazing relationship with someone who makes me feel happy for the first time in years,” I said sincerely. He didn’t move or speak for several minutes, before he finally looked up, turning to face me with an unreadable expression.

“This guy can’t be that great. Besides, he’s not going to want you once he knows another guys tongue has been down your throat,” He said arrogantly, I pushed back the stab of hurt and scoffed.

“I can assure you, he’s a hundred times the man you will ever be, and if he does care, then that’s between us. It still has nothing to do with you and my life never will,” I snapped.

Inside a door banged loudly, followed by Thor’s loud exclamation.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, tugging slightly. I had wanted this sorted before they got here.

“Now please leave. I have things to pack,” I said, turning to walk back inside. A tight hand caught my wrist, yanking me back around. Ian leant down as if to kiss me. “No! Don’t touch me!” I yelled firmly, pushing him back as hard as I could, he stumbled slightly as his glare darkened.

_Oh shit!_

That was all I could think before the back of his hand came across the side of my face, hard. Catching me by surprise I lost my balance, hitting the floor with a small cry.

“You bitch,” He spat glaring down at me.

 _You psycho!_ I thought in return, screwing my eyes up as I tried to push the images that ran through my head away.

When I opened my eyes, Ian was thankfully gone.

Pulling myself to my feet I spat out the mouthful of blood from my now split lip.

Pressing a hand to my banging head.

“Darcy?” Jane called. “Ian left in a hurry. Are you okay?” She asked, concern lacing her voice.

Instead of answering I slowly turned around, I watched cautiously as her eyes widened and she swore loudly.

At her exclamation Clint’s head appeared around the door, his grin slipped off of his face as his eyes settled on me.

“What the fuck…” He said. He moved across the roof and reached towards my face making me flinch away.

A pained look crossed Clint’s face and my eyes widened, tears rolling down my face as I realised what I’d just done. It had been months since I’d flinched away from my family.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry. Clint, I didn’t mean –,” He reached out again, his hand resting on my good cheek, he tilted my head to the side, so he could see the damage as he hushed me lightly.

Natasha and Thor both appeared at the door, wondering what the commotion was about. Anger replaced Thor’s confusion and Nat’s face became a cold mask.

“I’m fine,” I said, trying to turn my head away. “I deserved it anyway,” I muttered, trying to step away, but Clint’s hand on my shoulder stopped me.

“What did you do?” He asked. “What could you possibly have done that was so bad that you deserved this?” His voice was sceptical as his eyes darkened.

“He liked me. I didn’t –,”

Jane stepped forward with a cold glare.

“Don’t you _dare,”_ She hissed. “You told him several times to leave you alone and _he_ didn’t listen. He’s the one that is in the wrong here. _Not_ you,” She said.

I looked away, humiliation filling me.

Clint squeezed my shoulder, guiding me back inside.

“We need to get some ice on that,” He said, giving Natasha a meaningful glance that I didn’t understand as we walked past.

“Who was he?” She asked as I was sat down on a dining room chair.

“Ian Boothby,” Jane said instantly and I sighed.

“Clint dropped a black bag on the table, digging through it to find a bottle of antiseptic and a gauze.

He pulled up another chair, sitting down opposite me.

My eyes focussed on Clint’s hands as I watched him pour antiseptic onto the gauze, before raising it to my lip, making me hiss slightly as it burnt. Everytime I tried to turn my head away he’d just tilt my chin back straight.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes,” Nat said suddenly. Before anyone could question her, she disappeared, the door shutting softly behind her.

I sighed, slouching back in my chair as Jane handed Clint a washcloth to wipe away the last of the blood that had dried on my chin.

“That’s gonna be sore for a while, and it might take a while for the bruises to go away completely,” Clint said, throwing the washcloth across the room, straight into the trashcan, before handing me an icepack which I carefully pressed against my eye.

Hissing slightly in pain, I nodded, clenching my fists to stop my hands from shaking, my nails cutting into my palms.

“C’mon,” Jane said, gently ushering me over to the couch, tossing a blanket round my shoulders, sandwiching me in between her and Clint.

Thor stood, as if guarding the door, his arms folded and Erik had disappeared some time ago.

“’M so stupid,” I muttered, stressing the ice pack further into my eye, to try and stop my tears to no avail, only succeeding in sending a shooting pain through my eye.

“Tasha will be back soon and then we can go home,” Clint said, his hand on my shoulder as a sob caught in the back of my throat at the thought.

“No,” I said, pressing myself into Clint’s side. “Steve’s gunna hate me,”

“Darce, he won’t hate you,” Jane said, stroking my hair softly.

“He will,” I insisted, not paying attention to them exchanging looks over my head.

“Why’s he gonna hate you, Cookie?” Clint asked.

“I let him. I let him kiss me. Steve’s all about loyalty and I –,”

“Enough,” He cut me off, pushing me away from him slightly so I could look at him as Jane squeezed my hand. “You didn’t _let_ Ian do anything,” I opened my mouth to argue but he squeezed my shoulder and carried on. “ _He_ kissed _you. You_ told _him_ no. _He_ hit _you. He’s_ the one in the wrong Cookie. Steve might be angry, but it won’t be at you,” He assured me, pulling me back into his side.

A soft knock on the door stopped me from saying anything. Thor pulling it open to reveal Nat, her hands behind her back, a satisfied smirk on her lips that immediately made me suspicious.

She moved to the sink, washing her hands, not letting anybody see her hands.

“Are we ready to go?” She asked, leaning against the counter, grabbing a dish towel to dry her hands.

“C’mon,” Clint nudged me. “Where’s your stuff?”

.

Clint and Natasha helped us load our stuff into a S.H.I.E.L.D. SUV that was parked outside. Clint drove to a small nearby airfield where the Avengers Quinjet sat waiting,

Two S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents leant against another car, their suits pristine.

“Agent Barton, Agent Romanoff,” One of the guys said with a nod.

“Agents,” Clint replied as Natasha nodded.

“The Quinjet was loaded up in twenty minutes and while Clint ushered us inside, his phone pressed to his ear, calling the tower, Nat stood outside, talking to the two Agents quietly, before handing one of them the car keys.

“Yeah Cap,” Clint said, making my head snap up. “We’re still in London… Yeah, Darcy’s here… We’ve been busy packing, she probably hasn’t had a chance to answer your texts… Hold on, lemme check,” He pressed his phone to his shoulder and turned to me.

 _Do you want to talk to him?_ He signed and I hesitated.

Part of me screamed _Yes! Let me talk to Steve because he can make everything better!_ But the memory of Ian leaning closer to me flashed through my mind and I shook my head firmly. Clint sighed. “Sorry Cap, she’s asleep,” Clint moved towards the pilot’s chair, lowering his voice as Nat walked up the ramp, pressing the button, watching it raise up.

The flight back to New York passed way too quickly for my liking. Jane and Thor were practically glued together, so much so that Clint had to remind them they were in public a couple of times.

After a while I put my headphones in, watching the ocean blur past, an icepack pressed against the side of my face.

The Quinjet touched down on the landing pad and I sighed, tossing my iPod in my bag, pulling up my hood. Hoping that if I kept my head down I could make it back to mine and Steve’s apartment where my good make-up was and cover up the bruising before anybody could see my face.

Judging by the look Tasha was sending me, it wasn’t going to work.

The ramp lowered and Thor and Jane were the first off, I smiled, watching as Thor greeted the team.

While everybody was distracted I took my chance and slid down the ramp.

“Darcy?” Steve called just as I was reaching out for the door and I froze. _Shit._

I slowly turned around, careful to keep my head at an angle so they couldn’t see the damage.

“Is everything okay?” He asked. My eyes flickered over to Clint who had an angry look on his face and Nat just nodded. Jane shrugged but was giving me that sympathetic look, that meant the truth was going to come out, whether I liked it or not.

I sighed, tilting my head up, letting my hood slide down as I turned to face everyone properly.

“What the fuck, Lewis?” Tony asked loudly. “You never said you were hurt in the attack,” He said as Steve took a step towards me, his hand reaching for my face and I took an involuntary step back, wincing at the look of hurt that flashed across his face.

“I’m sorry,” I said weakly. “Shit, shit, shit. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. Please don’t be mad?”

Steve took another step forwards, reaching out, much slower. His fingers hooking under  my chin, tilting my head to the light.

“Who did this?” He asked, his voice tight, like he was trying to stay calm.

“Nobody,” I lied, shaking my head slightly. “It doesn’t matter,”

“Малютка,” Tasha said, something cold in her voice that might have been a warning.

“Who did this?” Steve asked again, his voice softer, as his thumb ghosted over my sore cheek.

“A guy, an intern. It’s not that big of a deal,” I said. “I deserved it. I led him on, it’s my fault he got angry,” I rambled.

“You know, when you lie, you should just answer the question directly. When you add unnecessary detail, it makes it seem far-fetched,” Tasha said, and my nails dug into my palms as I refrained from launching something at her.

“Doll,” Steve said, drawing my attention back to him gently. “It _is_ a big deal. He hurt you and that matters. It doesn’t matter if you were naked in bed with him when you said no, if he didn’t stop and leave you alone then he’s at fault. If he hit you because you said no, then this isn’t your fault,”

“Are you mad?” I asked quietly, still not looking at him.

“Not at you Doll. I promise,” He said, tugging me into a tight hug. I pressed myself against his chest as I choked on a sob. _He wasn’t mad._ “Ssh, Doll. You’re safe. You’re okay,”

He guided me inside and I clutched at his shirt, refusing to let go, he didn’t seem to mind as he kept an arm around me, guiding me into the conversation pit.

“Darcy, would I be able to take a look? Just to make sure you’re okay?” Bruce asked softly. I lifted my head from Steve’s chest and nodded.

Bruce knelt in front of me, gently pressing along my cheek bone and around my eye socket.

“Clint cleaned it up, made me put ice on it,” I muttered.

“Good, it seems to just be badly bruised and a split lip,” He said. “I can get you something for the pain –,”

“No,” I said quickly. “Thank you. I’m okay though,” I said slightly softer. _I should have to deal with it._

Bruce gave me a sceptical look but nodded.

“If you change your mind. Let me know,” He said, rising to his feet.

“Thank you,” I said softly, leaning back against Steve’s chest.

_It’s okay. I’m safe. I’m home._

_._

“Urgh,” I groaned, collapsing onto our bed.

_God I’d missed this bed!_

Steve chuckled before disappearing into the bathroom and I turned away from the door, curling on myself, staring out at the city lights, letting my mind drift.

Just forty eight hours ago I was running around London, being chased by Dark Elves, twenty four hours ago I was dodging Ian’s arms, and... other body parts.

“Darcy?” I jumped slightly at his sudden had on my arm. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked, brushing his thumb across my surprisingly damp cheeks.

“Nothing,” I said quickly, drying my face with the ends of my sleeves. Steve gave me a doubtful look. “It’s just been a crazy couple of days after months of… after an amazing six months,” I said.

Steve sighed, as if knowing what I was really thinking.

He lay down next to me, I shuffled round, burying my face in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured­ for the hundredth time that night.

“It’s okay. _We’re all okay,”_ He said without missing a beat. “You did nothing wrong. I love you.” He promised me, his fingers combing through my hair making me sob harder.

He continued to murmur assurances into my hair as I started to drift.

_Wait a minute. Did he say -_

Then sleep took over.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry? I did warn you I hated Ian!   
> The second this get's uploaded I'm posting a one shot from after Natasha leaves the apartment, so go check that out and you might hate me a little less.  
> Be sure to check out my Tumblr and Pinterest for pics and gifs.


	36. Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lewis girls have that effect on people,” 
> 
> “What effect?” 
> 
> “They turn the world’s most dangerous people into regular guys,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter was a pain in the ass to write!! It's a little bit all over the place but is basically just a filler chapter with cuddles at the end.  
> No Steve :( and mild angst, but lots of fluff too!!  
> Also, I know I'm getting into the habit of posting a snippet on Tuesday, but it's my birthday tomorrow, so I'm not sure if I'll get the chance. It's gonna be crazy!! But I will do my best to get it up asap.  
> Chapter Warnings: Self Doubt, Insecurity, I think that's it actually...

Three days passed since my realisation and I hadn’t said anything.

But I think everybody had noticed I was acting weird.

It’s not that I was really avoiding Steve, it’s just that… Okay, so maybe I was avoiding him a little.

I think everybody just thought it was because of the Ian thing.

_“Miss Lewis, you have visitors,” Jarvis announced._

“Who is it?” I asked, looking up in confusion.

 _“Miss Gray and Miss Lewis,”_ He said and I grinned brightly.

“Show them up please,” I said, moving to stand in front of the elevator.

Pepper and Tony were in the penthouse, Steve was at S.H.I.E.L.D. with Natasha, Clint was… Probably in the vents, Bruce and Betty were in the labs and Jane hadn’t left her apartment since Thor had gotten back.

The doors slid opened and I smiled at Chelsea who bounced little Malia in her arms.

“Surprise!” Chelsea exclaimed, as Malia waved her arms around, giggling. Chelsea laughed, passing her into my arms.

“Hey Cariño,” I cooed softly. _Sweetie._

“Darcy –,” I looked back up at Chelsea, the grin had slipped off her face, as she reached towards me, brushing her fingers over the bruise down the side of my face.

“English guys aren’t as Chivalrous as movies make ‘em out to be,” I tried to joke, but Chelsea didn’t laugh. “I’m fine Chels, really,” I said, moving over to the kitchen, carefully pouring two cups of coffee with a baby on my hip.

“You were in London?” She asked, accepting the coffee and moving down to the conversation pit.

I nodded.

“I saw it on the TV. Thor and everything…” She trailed off shaking her head in disbelief.

“He’s downstairs,” I said and Chelsea’s eyes widened, laughing slightly.

“Of course he is,” She said with a nod.

I put my coffee on the table, setting Malia on my knees, bouncing her slightly.

“What’s going on Darce?” She asked. “Don’t say nothing. I got a call from freaking Hawkeye, saying that you were avoiding everyone and might be needing someone,” She said, looking over at me in concern.  _An intervention Barton, really?_

“You know what happened in London?” I asked. I hadn’t had a chance to look through the news feeds yet. More to the point, I don’t think I wanted too.

“Aliens, again. Thor came and saved the day. At least that’s what they’re saying on the news,” She said with a slight shrug.

“It was a joint effort. Jane did all the technical stuff, Thor just did the heavy lifting,” I said.

“Sounds like Jane,” She smiled.

“But yeah, we went to London because Jane knew it was all going to happen, it happened, and I gave a guy the wrong impression. Hence all… this,” I gestured vaguely to the bruising on my face.

My mind started to flicker back to Ian’s face, but before I could think about it to much, Malia decided to shift in my arms, turning to crawl towards me, reaching out to tug on my Dog Tags.

She stood up, balancing on my legs, just above the converter.

My eyes watered as she grabbed one of Jake’s tags, trying to put it in her mouth, but I caught it quickly.

“No. Eso no es para comer, Cariño,” I chided softly, her little eyes widened before giggling up at me. _No. That’s not for eating, Sweetie._

“What else?” Chelsea said, not letting me change the subject.

“You mean besides being traumatized by Aliens and getting backhanded by a total Hijo de Puta?” I said. _Son of a Bitch._

“It’s still cussing, even though it’s in Spanish,” Chelsea told me. “Mike’s making sure she grows up bilingual,”

I smiled apologetically.

“But yes, besides that. What’s going on?” She asked.

“Steve said he loved me,” I said softly, my eyes fixed on the baby in my lap, as she made grabby hands for my fingers.

“Miel. ¡Eso es increíble!” She exclaimed, grinning brightly. _Honey. That’s amazing!_ “¡¿Cuando sucedió?!"  _When? How did it happen?_

“Three days ago. I was a mess and I don’t think he meant it, he was telling me loads of stuff, about how everything was going to be okay and all that. I think he was just trying to make me feel better,” I said, to my surprise Chelsea laughed loudly.

“C’mon Darcy! You can’t seriously believe that?” She exclaimed.

I looked up at her in confusion.

“Miel, that man has been in love with you for months. I saw the way he looked at you the day Malia was born, heck I saw it at Jake’s funeral. I don’t know much about Steve except he’s a World War II vet with serious PTSD, he jumps when he hears a loud noise, especially if it bangs, he’s constantly on high aleart, looking for the threat. He’s tense and closed off.

“But he looks at you, and it’s like nothing else matters, just you. You can’t fake that Darce. That man loves you and I think you might be the last one to have noticed. He looks at you like Jake looked at me. He cares for you the way Jake cared for me,” She said softly. I sniffed slightly. Swiping the moisture from my cheeks quickly.

_I’d always said that what Jake and Chelsea had was both rare and perfect. Before Jake met her, he was closed off, didn’t like spending time with his family and certainly didn’t like spending time with his little sister. When he first joined the army that only got worse. God knows what he saw out there, but he distanced himself more from me and mom. He met Chelsea and over time he changed. She helped him come to terms with things, she helped him open up, and she helped him come home._

_I never even thought I could have a good relationship, especially with a guy. But then Steve came along and… And it was perfect. He was perfect._

“And the penny drops,” Chelsea said with a soft smile, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “One step at a time, and I know it’s hard for you, but try not to overthink things,”

_Because when I overthink things I fuck everything up._

* * *

The rest of the afternoon was much lighter, Chelsea and I moved the coffee table out of the conversation pit so we could sit at opposite ends of the rug, as Malia walked between us, only falling a couple of times.

Pepper and Tony both darted in at one point, Tony offered to buy Malia things while Pepper actually stopped and had a normal conversation.

Clint dropped out of the vents and joined us while we watched Loony Tunes and I tried to ignore the way his eyes drifted to the bruising on my cheek every time he looked at me.

Malia took a short nap in my arms but as soon as she woke up she was walking between the three of us again, giggling at the stupid faces Clint was pulling at her. At one point she giggled so hard she fell over, thankfully landing on the soft rug, which only made her giggle more.

Jane and Thor appeared several hours later

Jane squealed at the sight of Chelsea and Malia, rushing to hug them both.

“Lady Darcy, I did not know you were expecting company,” Thor said in surprise, watching as Jane cooed over Malia.

“I didn’t know I was expecting company,” I said, shooting a glare at Clint who just grinned. “This is Chelsea, she was dating my brother before he died and this is my niece, Malia, his daughter. Chelsea, this is Thor,” I introduced.

Chelsea’s eyes widened as she rose to her feet.

“Erm, it an honour to meet you?” She said holding out her hand for him to shake.

“The honour is mine,” Thor said, taking her hand, pressing his lips to her knuckles.

Chelsea’s eyes widened and she laughed slightly, looking over at me in surprise.

“He does that to everyone,” I said, rolling my eyes at her giddy expression.

Thor looked down at Malia who was babbling happily on the floor with a Captain America soft toy in her hands.

“May I?” He asked, looking to Chelsea for her permission.

“Sure, of course,” She nodded. We watched as Thor knelt on the floor, carefully holding out a hand to the child.

“Hello, young one,” He said softly, smiling as Malia grabbed one of his fingers, using it as leverage to pull herself to her feet, she stared at him for a second before stumbling forward into his arms.

Thor chuckled quietly, scooping her up into his arms. His eyes lit up in a way I hadn’t seen before as she tugged on the ends of his hair, he miled, murmuring to her in a language I didn’t recognised.

And not for the first time I thanked every god out there for Malia’s existence.

* * *

It neared five o’clock when the elevator pinged, flashing red across the room. Clint tensed as he caught sight of who came in.

“Wha-?” I started, sitting up from where I was using Clints legs as a pillow. I broke off as Nat stepped into the room. I glanced over at Malia but didn’t comment.

“Hey Nat,” I said with a smile. “Where’s Steve?” I asked.

“Hey, he had to run an errand, he should be back later,” She said, stepping over the back of the couch, sitting the other side of Clint.

She smiled at Chelsea before her eyes fixed on Malia who was tangling her hands in Thor’s hair.

“You can hold her,” Chelsea said. “If you want to,” Nat’s head snapped towards her.

Thor smiled, standing up, handing Malia to Natasha before she could protest.

The assassin sat rigid for a moment until Malia reached out, bopping her tiny fist against Nat’s cheek.

“Вы не будете нуждаться, чтобы сделать это, девочка. Ты будесць в безопасности. Обещаю,” _You’re not going to need to do that, Baby Girl. You’re gonna be safe. I promise._ She said softly. I smiled slightly, watching as Natasha bounced the eleven month old on her knees, murmuring to her in a variation of languages.

“Lewis girls have that effect on people,” Clint said, too low for anyone but me and Nat to hear.

“What effect?” I asked.

“They turn the world’s most dangerous people into regular guys,” He replied.

* * *

Clint got a call from S.H.I.E.L.D. calling him out on a mission, he gave Chelsea and Malia a lift home on the way. While Thor and Jane retired for the night as my phone chimed.

_From: Steve,  
S.H.I.E.L.D. called, I won’t be back until tomorrow. Sorry._

I sighed, shooting off a quick reply before tossing my phone on the couch next to me.

“Steve been called too, huh?” Nat asked, I nodded. “C’mon,” She said, standing up, holding a hand out to me.

“What?” I asked.

“The guys are out and I have a bottle of Vodka we can share, so we, well, you at least, can forget your worries for a while,” She offered.

I smiled, taking her hand, letting her pull me off the couch.

We took the stairs down to hers and Clint’s apartment.

I dropped onto the couch as she pulled a bottle of Vodka out of the freezer and grabbing a couple of shot glasses.

“So,” She said, sitting next to me, pouring me a shot. “What’s going on with you?” She asked.

“Whaddya mean?” I asked, faux innocence lacing my tone before I threw back the shot.

“I mean you’ve been avoiding everyone for days so much so that Clint called Chelsea,” She said.

“Steve loves me,” I said, Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“Have you only just figured that out?” She asked.

“That’s what Chelsea said. It seems I’m the last one to know,” I said, taking another shot.

Natasha hummed.

“What about you? Do you love him?” She asked, and I paused.

“I can’t love Steve,” I said after a moment.

“Why?” She questioned.

“Because that means admitting that I’m attached, admitting that I’m so fucking deep in this relationship and I can’t do that. Because if I love him, it’ll hurt more when he leaves,” I said quietly. “And he will leave,”

Natasha’s blank expression softened slightly.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because guys in my life always leave or fuck me over, and it hurts more every time. _That_ guy in the woods, my dad, my uncles, Jake, even Ian. They all hurt me or leave. Sometimes both, and my relationship with Steve… it means too much. I don’t know how I’d ever get over that,” I sniffed, wiping my tears away as Natasha took my glass from me, wrapping her arms around me.

“Oh Малютка,” She breathed. “You can’t think like that. Nobody, not even I know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You’ve just got to take things one day at a time, if things go badly, Clint, Jane, Thor, we’ll all still be here for you. Nothing you do is going to change that,” She said fiercely. “Dǒng ma?” _Understand?_

I nodded.

Thanking Firefly for my limited Mandarin vocabulary.

“Dǒng,” I replied. _To understand (I understand)._ I rested my head on her shoulder but didn’t move out of her arms as I played with her fingers. “Did you beat up Ian?” I asked quietly, she froze slightly.

“Yes. I broke his nose,” She said carefully. I hummed.

“Good,” I said after a minute. “I think he deserved it,”

“He did Малютка. He did,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Cariño - Sweetie - Spanish  
> No. Eso no es para comer, Cariño - No. That's not to eat, Sweetie. - Spanish  
> Hijo de Puta - Son of a Bitch - Spanish (I didn't even need google for that one. It also means Motherfucker)  
> Miel. ¡Eso es increíble! - Honey. That's amazing/incredible! - Spanish  
> ¡¿Cuando sucedió?! - When? How did it happen? - Spanish  
> Вы не будете нуждаться, чтобы сделать это, девочка. Ты будесць в безопасности. Обещаю - Pronounced: Vy ne budete nuzhdat'sya, chtoby sdelat' eto, devochka. Ty budesh' v bezopasnosti. Obeshchayu - You will not need to do it, girl. You'll be safe. I promise.  
> Dǒng ma? - 懂吗 - Understand/Capiche - Mandarin  
> Dǒng. - 懂. - Understand/To Understand - Mandarin
> 
> There were cuddles for Nat and Darcy as requested!!  
> Also, apparently I didn't mention it last chapter, but there's a quick sketch I did on Pinterest and Tumblr of Darcy's bruising. I did it in like ten minutes so be nice!  
> Lastly, I think the end is in sight for this story, I've decided to split this into a trilogy (not including the snippets), because I've been playing around with CA:TWS and decided to make that it's own shortish story from Darcy's POV, then Post CA:TWS which introduces Bucky and that angst trail.  
> So, maybe 5-10 more chapters of this story, I want to make it a round number, so we'll see!  
> Lemme know what you think!


	37. The L Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. thing,” He said. “Coulson used to say it,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monday again!! Thank you everybody for the birthday wishes, I got a graphics tablet, so once I work out how to use it properly, I might be able to draw some digital art for this story!   
> This is slightly angsty chapter, but you'll love the ending, I promise!!   
> Chapter Warnings: 'Lil bit of guilt, COMMUNICATION!!

I passed out about one am from the Vodka only to wake up a couple of hours later in Natasha’s bed, screaming, bed sheets tangled around me.

“Hey, Darcy. Look at me, look at me. Its Natasha you’re safe. It was just a dream, it’s over!”

The panic died down and Natasha came back in focus, sitting in front of me, her hand cupping my good cheek.

“Hey Малютка. You with me?” She asked, I nodded.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Or wake you… Sorry… Fuck how much did I drink?” I asked, pressing the heel of my hand into my temple, hoping to relieve the thumping in my head.

“About a bottle of the good stuff,” She said quietly with a slight sympathetic smile. “And there’s a rule in this apartment, Clint’d try and kick my ass if I didn’t tell you,” She said. “We don’t apologise for nightmares and flashbacks, there’s nothing we can do about them, trust me, I’ve tried,”

I gave an apologetic smile as she pressed a cool glass of water to my lips, not letting my worry about my shaking hands.

“Here,” She held out two aspirins.

I scrunched up my face but swallowed them, knowing it was pointless to argue with her.

“Think you can get back to sleep?” She asked, I shook my head and she nodded. “Alright, lemme get some hot chocolate, we’ll watch a cheesy movie or something. You choose,” She said, handing me the remote.

I sighed as she slid off the bed and out of the room, I pulled the duvet further up my body as I looked down at the sweats I was wearing, Natasha’s sweat pants and Clint’s shirt that I don’t remember changing into.

I shrugged, pressing the button on the remote, watching as the flat screen rose out of the end of the bed.

Nat returned several minutes later with two steaming mugs and a bar of Cadbury’s tucked under her elbow.

“Are you cold?” She asked, noting the fact that I was still shaking.

“A little,” I said with a slight shrug.

She sat the mugs and chocolate on the nightstand before reaching into the closet coming back with a large hoodie of Clint’s. It was black with purple sleeves and pockets, a zip going down the middle.

“Here,” She tossed it on the bed. “Clint won’t mind,” She added, grabbing a couple of blankets off of the armchair and couch.

I slid my arms into the purple lined hoodie, zipping it half way up, letting Tasha wrap one blanket around my shoulders and the other over my lap.

“Clint and Steve are due back at 0700. So, we’ve got time for a few episodes of whatever you choose, and if you fall asleep again… It doesn’t really matter,” She said.

I scrolled through the Stark Server of Movies (Tony named it, obviously) and we decided on watching Outnumbered, a British family comedy that I got hooked on while I was in London.

I settled down into Natasha’s side, her arms around my shoulders, coming through my hair with one hand.

We watched mostly in silence, sharing out the massive bar of chocolate

The credits were just rolling on the eighth episode as we heard the front door open.

Neither of us bothered to move as the bedroom door was opened and Clint stuck his head inside, his face softening at the sight of us.

“They’re here,” He said over his shoulder, stepping into the room, Steve a couple of paces behind him.

I watched as his face creased with worry, his eyes drifting between us and the chocolate.

“More nightmares?” He asked quietly, reaching across Natasha to brush his finger across my cheek.

I shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

“Sorry I woke you,” I said, tilting my head back to look at Natasha.

“Hey,” She said, nudging me slightly. “What did I say about apologising for Nightmares?”

I blushed as Clint smiled slightly.

“It’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. thing,” He said. “Coulson used to say it,”

My eyes widened slightly.

Clint never spoke about Coulson… Did he know…?

“Maria said that to me once. Definitely a S.H.I.E.L.D. thing,” Steve added before I could start to worry.

“I’m not S.H.I.E.L.D.” I pointed out causing Steve and Clint to exchange looks.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Steve assured me. “Maria’s coming over for lunch tomorrow is all,” He lied, I raised an eyebrow, looking to Natasha whose face was perfectly impassive.

“C’mon Cookie,” Clint said. “I’ll make breakfast,” He said, pressing a kiss to the crown of Natasha’s head.

Nat squeezed me slightly before sliding out of bed and following him into the kitchen.

Steve perched on the edge of the bed next to me, letting me scoot into his arms.

“Are you alright Doll?” He asked, gently combing through my hair.

“I’m fine,” I lied, burying my face into his shirt.

He sighed.

“When you’re ready to talk about it. I’ll be here Sweetheart,” He assured me, pressing his lips to my forehead, making me smile slightly. “Now c’mon, Clint’s making breakfast and I missed dinner last night,” He said, gently taking my hand and tugging me out of bed.

 _“Agent Barton has decided to cook in the Common Room, and would like me to assure Miss Lewis that she can keep hold of the clothes for as long as she wishes,”_ Jarvis said as we walked through the assassins apartment and Steve wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked together up the stairs to the common room.

Everyone, even Thor and Jane appeared for breakfast, between Clint and Natasha, they laid out enough to feed an army, or a group of needy scientists, an actual god and a Supersoldier.

“Darcy, are you busy tomorrow afternoon?” Pepper asked and I froze in surprise at the question.

“Erm, I’m in the lab. But considering you sign my pay checks… I guess that’s your decision,” I said. Tony looked up in confusion.

“I thought _I_ signed your paychecks,” He said and both Pepper and I rolled our eyes in unison. “Don’t do that, it’s terrifying!” He said with a shudder.

“Nope, Pepper signs them,” I said and he pouted. “For me to work as Jane’s assistant,”

His pout slowly morphed into confusion.

“Wait, so you’re not actually mine or Bruce or Bettys assistant, you’re just Jane’s?” He asked, and I nodded slowly.

_Surely he knew that…_

“But you feed all of us, and make us all sleep,” He said.

“Well, I’m not just going to let you starve,” I said, looking at him in confusion. _What did he think I did?_

“Pep, she needs a raise,” Tony said, pointing across the table at me with his fork.

“Noted,” Pepper said, her lips thinning at the fact that he interrupted her. “So would you join me for lunch tomorrow, bit of a business lunch somewhere nice that Tony can pay for, I’d like to run a few things by you, if that’s okay?” She asked.

“Erm sure?” I said, still not completely understanding. _What could THE Pepper Potts want to run by me._

Steve squeezed my hand under the table, as if sensing the self-doubt rising inside of me.

“Excellent. I’ll come and meet you in the labs. I’ll have Jarvis find us the best restaurant,” She said with a smile.

“Sounds good…” I nodded, still unsure but deciding to just go with it.

And with that everybody else went back to breakfast, as if Pepper Potts, the CEO of Stark Industries asking people out to a five star lunch was perfectly normal… _Oh wait, it was! When did this become my life?!_

.

After we did our share of the clean-up, Steve and I went back down to our apartment and I changed out of the borrowed clothes into my own comfy clothes, pulling my hair up into a ponytail.

“C’mon, I’m gonna get some sleep. Lay with me?” Steve asked, his eyes widening into those well practiced, adorable, puppy eyes.

I rolled my eyes, but followed him under the covers, curling into his side, pressing my head into his chest, only then realising how tired I was.

“I’ve got you, go to sleep. You’re safe,” He said, kissing the top of my head before I drifted.

_“You’re worthless, you know that don’t you?” My father leered over me. “Nobody’s going to love someone as selfish as you, you’re already whoring yourself out. You aren’t even thirteen and you’re sleeping with guys in the park, you don’t have any self-respect,” He spat and twelve year old me sobbed. “Nobody will care for you, they’ll get tired of you and you’ll be on your own again, just like you deserve,”_

_Ian leered over me, with a snarl “What is wrong with you, you bitch!”_

_“Your brother loved you more than he could ever love me,” Chelsea said softly. “And that’s okay.”_

_“You’re worth so much more than you think,” Steve’s voice echoed in my ears._

_“You’re going to be okay, Sis. We love you. You are loved. It’s okay,”_ Jake’s voice faded away as I woke with a startled gasp.

“Darcy?” Steve said softly, sitting up beside me. “It’s okay. We’re all okay,”

“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You did nothing wrong,” He said making me freeze, I hardly heard him as he assured me he was already awake.

_That’s what he said the other night. Right before he said…_

I shuffled away, pulling myself to my knees as I faced him, fiddling with the hem of my, of Steve’s, t-shirt.

“The other night… When I got back from London, before I went sleep, you said something to me…” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say.

“I said ‘I love you.’” He said softly, studying my face carefully. “You think I didn’t mean it?” He asked. I shrugged, looking away guiltily.

Steve sighed.

“Sweetheart, you’re wrong,” He said, hooking his fingers under my chin, tilting my head up so that my eyes met his bright, determined blue ones. “I meant what I said, I _do_ love you. I have done since… For months. I love you so much; all of you, even though you have twenty different lipsticks spread across the bathroom counter and all of them are the same colour –,”

I opened my mouth to protest, but he pressed his finger to my lips before I could say anything.

“I love how much you care about everybody. Even people who don’t deserve to be cared for. I love _you_ Darcy Lewis, and what’s happened to you in your past, the strength you’ve shown to move on from that. Only makes me love you more, and it’s okay if you can’t say it  back, it’s okay if you don’t believe me, but I swear to you Darcy, I will tell you every single day until you do,”

My eyes widened at the conviction in his tone and the sincerity that burnt in his eyes.

 _“Just go with it. Do what feels right.”_ Chelsea’s words from yesterday ran through my head.

Before I could overthink things, I surged up onto my knees, my hands coming up to cup his face, crashing my lips to his, kissing him with every fibre of passion inside of me.

Steve hesitated in surprise before wrapping his arms around my waist, pressing our bodies together as his tongue darted past my lips, teasing the inside of my mouth.

I moaned into the kiss slightly as his hands trailed lower, one cupping my pantie covered ass as the other one slid up my shirt, tracing patterns on my skin.

With the last bit of restraint inside of me I pulled back slightly.

“I love you too,” I said, watching as Steve’s eyes widened slightly, before he grinned, his eyes darkening slightly in a familiar way before he yanked my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor.

I giggled slightly as he flipped me over onto my back, still straddling his hips as he leaned down over me, crashing his mouth back to mine.

_Yep, we wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? Horrid?  
> I rewrote the ending of this several times, and it's been along time coming, so I hope it was okay!  
> Check out my Pinterest and Tumblr!!


	38. Half As Much Work And Triple The Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What and what would like to what now?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S MONDAY!!!  
> And the second happy chapter in a row!!  
> Most of this chapter I wrote at four in the morning, and of course I've read through it since I haven't seen anything, but if there is a random sentence that makes no sense, lemme know?!  
> Chapter Warnings: None... That has to be a first!!

I woke early the next morning, Steve disappeared to the gym while I rummaged through my closet.

“Jarvis where are we going for lunch?” I asked.

 _“Miss Potts has made reservations for Ai Fiori, an Italian place just around the corner,”_ He replied making me groan.

“But what do I wear?” I asked, tossing a skirt on over my shoulder.

 _“Miss Potts suggests business attire. Perhaps the black suit dress to your right, matched with the black blazer and beige purse,”_ He suggested.

I turned to my right, looking at the dress before nodding my approval.

I pulled on the dress and blazer on, matching it with the pair of heeled combat boots that Natasha got me for Christmas.

I grabbed the beige bag that Jarvis suggested, piling my taser, wallet, StarkPad, and ten ton of other stuff into my bag.

I lay the concealment device over the top of my leg, watching as it recalibrated and the metal faded away.

Checking my watch _07:30._ Eight hours for it to come off… _15:30._

I gave up trying to cover the bruising on my face after screwing it up for the fourth time. _I’ll get Clint to do it._

Coffee in hand I took the stairs up to the labs, where as expected Tony, Bruce and Betty were already working.

“Jarvis, how long have they all been in here?” I asked.

 _“Sir came in here at 05:42. Doctors Banner and Ross at 06:04 and 06:18 respectively,”_ Jarvis informed me.

I rolled my eyes, moving to the little Kitchenette, pouring out two mugs of coffee and a cup of tea, setting them in front of the oblivious scientists.

“Jarvis, is Clint busy?” I asked, dropping down at my desk, pulling the compact mirror out of my drawer, inspecting my face.

 _“Agent Barton is in the Common Area, though he does not appear to be doing anything,”_ Jarvis said.

“Can you ask him to come fix my face please? And bring the good stuff. Make-up, that is. Not Natasha’s Vodka,” I said.

 _“He’s on his way,”_ Jarvis said.

Five minutes later the doors slid open and Clint strolled in, a make-up bag in his hand.

“Do your worst Barton,” I said, spinning to face him.

Clint grimaced slightly at the bruising, but gestured for me to sit on my desk, facing the windows.

“How’s this doing?” He asked, rummaging through the bag.

“Better,” I said vaguely.

“And what about you? Nobody saw you or Steve after breakfast yesterday,” He said, waggling his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but grin as I remembered yesterday.

“That good, huh?” He asked as he dabbed something under my eye.

 “Wouldn’t you just love to know,” I said with a slight smirk.

Clint spoke about random stuff as he covered my face expertly.

“Which colour?” He finally asked, holding up two different red lipsticks.

“That one,” I said, pointing to the brighter colour.

He nodded, lining my lips with a pencil, before grabbing the lipstick.

“Done!” He declared, holding up a mirror.

“Wow…” I breathed, tilting my head to the side, my skin looked flawless, not even a hint of dark bruising. I pressed my fingers to my cheekbone and winced. _Still there, just invisible._

“No touching,” Clint said, pulling my hand away. “It might come off. This is the highest quality stuff, so if you and Pepper get caught up in flashy pictures, this’ll still do its job,” He explained.

“Thank you. I owe you one,” I said, sliding my glasses back up my nose, running my hand through my hair.

“What time are you meeting Pepper?” He asked, I shrugged.

“Whenever she gets here,” I said, rolling my shoulders before reaching back to start French braiding my hair to the side.

I stopped at the other side of my head, reaching for the pot of black bobby pins on my desk, pinning my hair in place, letting the rest of my hair fall free over my shoulder.

“Nice,” Clint nodded. “Very sophisticated,” He said, making me grimace.

“Do I look like a fifteen year old, going to their first job interview?” I asked, looking down at myself self-consciously.

Clint stepped forwards, putting his hands firmly on my shoulders.

“You look great, babe,” He promised me. He stared at me for a second before he sighed, pressing a kiss to my forehead and stepping away.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, looking up at him in confusion.

He seemed weird, weirder than normal.

“Nothing, I’m fine. ‘t’s just one of those days. Ya know?” He said.

 _“Agent Barton, Agent Romanoff is requesting your presence in the gym,”_ Jarvis announced.

“Tell her I’m on my way,” Clint said, glancing up at the ceiling. “Have fun at lunch,” He said to me, before heading back towards the elevator.

_Well, that was weird._

.

I hung around in the lab for a couple more hours, making sure Tony didn’t blow anything up, and I ordered the three scientist’s food right before the elevator flashed and Pepper stepped out.

Looking as flawless as ever in her pale blue suit, and fuck me heels, her strawberry blonde hair hanging in curls around her shoulders.

“Darcy, are you ready to go?” Pepper asked with a smile.

“Yeah,” I grabbed my bag. “Tony if there’s still food on that plate when I get back, I will lock you out of your lab for a week,” I threatened. “And you have to eat it, Jarvis will tell me if you don’t,” I said.

Tony made a point of taking a large bite out of his sandwich.

“Happy now?” He asked.

“Very,” I confirmed. Before turning to Pepper who gave an impressed smile.

“I don’t know how you manage to get four of them to eat and sleep regularly. I used to struggle with just one,” She said, as we stepped into the elevator, looking out over the city as it descended

“Well, I do love a challenge,” I said with a slight smirk, as we stepped out of the elevator and straight into a waiting limo.

“We’re not going far. Just a nice Italian place around the corner, but us walking through New York without security…” She trailed off with a fond smile.

_Our significant others would never let us hear the end of it._

Her phone pinged and she gave a slight smile as she read her message.

“I hope you don’t mind, Maria’s going to be joining us. She’s been swamped in paperwork for days and is looking for an escape from the office,” She said.

“Its fine,” I assured her.

We turned off of 43rd Street and went straight down 5th Avenue, past the Library, stopping just past 37th.

“I told you it was just around the corner,” Pepper said, as Happy opened the back door. I stepped out onto the street first, waiting as Pepper slid elegantly out of the limousine. “This is us.” She nodded to the _Ai Fiori,_ a high end looking restaurant in front of us. “Thank you Happy. We should only be a couple of hours. I’ll call you when we’re done,”

“Have a nice lunch,” He nodded, heading back to the car with a slight limp. Since he was almost blown up, he’d never fully recovered, there was serious nerve damage in his right leg and a bit of nasty scarring on his face, but other than that, he was still the same old Happy.

As soon as my heels hit the wooden floor I shifted uncomfortably.

This was the sort of place that celebrity’s came for dates and CEO’s went… for business meetings.

“Relax. The people in here get paid too much to care what you do or who you are,” Pepper said quietly, before stepping up to the waiter. “I have a reservation for three under the name Potts,” She said, her voice taking the cool, yet polite tone of the no nonsense taking CEO.

“Right this way, Miss Potts. Your third party is already here,” He said with a professional smile as he lead us through towards the back of the restaurant, to where Maria was sitting at a small circular table, wearing a crisp S.H.I.E.L.D. business suit.

“Pepper, Darcy!” She looked up, and smiled, rising from her chair to greet us.

“I’m so glad you could join us,” Pepper said, as we took out seats.

I opened my bag setting it next to my chair, so that if I leant over slightly, I’d be able to reach my taser. Besides I already had my knife strapped to the inside of my thigh.

“How was London?” Maria asked, looking towards me and I grimaced.

“Stormy,” I said bluntly making her smile slightly.

“I heard you did good. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to take your call, had I have known the situation, I would have been there instantly,” She said.

“It’s fine. I’m just starting to wonder which big city is going to suffer next. First New York, then Malibu, where’s next? DC?” I joked.

“God I hope not,” Maria said as Pepper laughed. “I thought being Deputy Director would mean I’d get a PA that could do my paperwork, but nope. I swear I get more paperwork than I did when I was a regular Field Agent,”

“On the topic of work…” Pepper started, reaching into her bag, pulling out a _Stark Industries_ file. Setting it on the table. “I’m sure you’re wondering why the business lunch and not just in the Penthouse like we usually do,”

I nodded in confusion.

“Both Stark Industries and S.H.I.E.L.D. would like to offer you a job,” She said, sliding the folder towards me.

My eyes widened in surprise.

_What and what would like to what now?!_

“Technically they’re two separate jobs, that coincide,” Maria put in, setting a S.H.I.E.L.D. file on top of the SI one.

“Doing what?” I asked, fining my voice again.

“Before Phil died, he was supposed to be the Avengers Handler, like he was Clint and Nat’s. He would have liaised between the Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D., basically doing what you’re doing now. Making sure they’re okay after and in-between missions. Running missions from Operations, being their technical support. Making sure none of them do something stupid that’ll get their names dragged through the tabloids, and if they do, then it’s on you to control it, make sure it doesn’t escalate.

“On top of the training Clint and Natasha have given you, they’ve agreed to train you properly to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s standards, which from what I’ve heard, you aren’t far off,” Maria explained.

“And Stark Industries?” I asked, amazement evident in my voice.

“I’m stepping down as the Avengers PR Manager, I can’t do that and run a company. I’d like you to take my place.

“You’ll run the official Social Media accounts, make statements to the press after one of them does something stupid and you’ll make sure it doesn’t get out of control. Not only are you qualified for this position but given your personal relationship to each team member, we all believe it would only make you better at the job,”  Pepper said smoothly.

“When you say ‘we all’…?” I trailed off.

“The team and Jane,” Pepper said. I nodded slightly.

“So you want me to pick a job?” I asked, still not understanding.

Maria shook her head.

“We want you to do both,” She said making my eyes widen even more.

“Don’t look so worried,” Pepper said. “Jarvis scans all key phrases across the Internet, so you can stay on top of media reports,”

“And when the Avengers don’t have missions S.H.I.E.L.D. won’t need you to do anything more than you do now,” Maria added.

“Take some time, think it over, read the files through,” Pepper said, noting my shock.

I nodded, flicking through the S.H.I.E.L.D. file, quickly sliding them both into my bag as the waiter walked towards us.

_That was… unexpected._

_._

The rest of lunch past in normal light conversation and Happy took us back to the tower.

I went straight back to our apartment and collapsed onto the couch with a sigh.

I kicked off my boots and carefully peeled off the concealment device, setting it on the coffee table, which I dragged closer, laying the two files out in front of me.

I took the time to carefully read through them both. Double checking every detail, stopping only when I heard the apartment door open.

“Darcy?” Steve called softly coming to sit next to me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said, looking up at him. “Pepper and Maria… They offered me a job,” I told him

Steve smiled but didn’t look surprised.

“Is that why you and Clint have been acting weird?” I asked.

“Guilty,” He said, rubbing the back of his neck with a slight shrug. “What are you going to do?”

 I looked between the files and him with a helpless shrug.

“I don’t… I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my hair, tugging it slightly.

Steve reached out, carefully pulling my hand away, pressing a gentle kiss to my fingers.

“I mean, this is literally _the_ perfect job. They’ve created a combination of two jobs with half as much work as I’m currently doing with almost triple the pay, and I still get to travel with Jane…” I trailed off with a sigh. “They’ve thought over _everything._ It’s too good to be true,”

“It’s true Doll. It’s real and you deserve this. But it’s your choice. You can say no if you want.” I turned back to look at the files and shook my head.

“I think I want this,” I said looking back up as he smiled. I snatched the pen off the table, signing the appropriate dotted line, before leaning back into Steve’s side.

He pressed his lips to my forehead.

“I’m proud of you,” He murmured. Something swirled inside of me at the praise as I leant further into his embrace, smiling softly.

_Me too…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Darcy's doing something for herself!! I'm so proud!!!!  
> As always let me know what you think and a new snippet will go up pretty soon, so be sure to check that out!  
> Pepper and Darcy's outfits are on my Pinterest board and my tumblr under {purplepingupenguins.tumblr.com/tagged/Life+Is+Hard}


	39. Yeah... Maybe I do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The universe finds a balance, for every good thing there is a bad, and for every bad a good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter get's a little bit heated near the beginning, nothing graphic and they get interrupted before anything really happens, but you've been warned.  
> The conversation with Clint was a pain in the ass to write, so I really hope it's okay!  
> Chapter Warnings: Heated Make-out Session, Talks About Loss and Grief, Suicidal thoughts (blink and you miss it).

 I woke early the next morning with a start, relaxing back into Steve’s arms as I took in my surroundings.

_You’re safe._

“Darcy?” Steve stirred, blinking his eyes open to look at me.

“I’m okay,” I murmured, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked, his hand settling on my waist, tracing patterns on my bare skin.

“I love you,” I breathed, brushing my fingers across his cheek.

A lazy smile crossed his face, but I didn’t miss the hint of worry in his eyes.

“I love you too,”

I couldn’t help but grin at his words.

Sure, there was still the little part of doubt, but lying right here, right now, I pushed that doubt away and pressed my lips softly against his.

I pulled back, brushing my hand through his hair.

“Pancakes,” I said decisively.

Steve’s face scrunched up in adorable confusion.

“I’m going to make pancakes,” I said. “Do you want some?”

“There’s something else I want,” He breathed, trailing his lips across my jaw.

I squirmed as he sucked on _that_ spot just below my ear.

“Hmm. Nope,” I twisted away with a small teasing smile. “Pancakes first,” I decided, sliding out from under the sheets.

I unashamedly walked across the room to the couch, sliding on Steve’s white button down shirt, leaving the top three buttons undone, showing a fair amount of cleavage.

I smirked slightly at Steve’s groan as I walked through to the kitchen, grabbing a frying pan out of the cupboard, flicking the coffee machine on while grabbing ingredients off of shelves.

 I hummed as I measured out ingredients, whisking them together before pouring the batter into the pan.

“Something smells good,” Steve breathed, I jumped slightly, not noticing he’d even come into the room.

He set his hands on my waist, drifting down to my hips as he pressed his lips to the crook of my neck.

I bit my lip, to stop myself moaning, but couldn’t help but smile.

“They’re gonna burn if you distract me,” I warned lightly.

“Shame,” He said, smirking against my shoulder, one of his hands slid down the outside of my thigh before he dragged his nails back up the inside of my leg.

I hissed slightly as the pad of his thumb pressed against my centre.

I dropped the pan against the stove, fumbling to turn the oven off, he pulled me round to face him, my arms automatically wove up around his neck as he lifted me swiftly up onto the counter.

He stepped between my legs as he started to unbutton my shirt, trailing his lips down my chest, getting lower and lower as he dropped to his knees.

I startled as the alarm blared through the apartment, the lights above the doors flashing brightly.

“Fuck,” I groaned, as Steve rose to his feet.

“I’m sorry, Doll. But I’ve gotta –” He gestured helplessly to the door.

“Go,” I said, pulling him down for a gentle, yet slightly needy kiss before pushing him away. “You can make it up to me when you get back,”

“I love you,” He said.

“I love you back,” I said, pecking his lips one last time before pushing him back. “Go!” I repeated.

He gave an apologetic smile before bolting towards our room, reappearing less than two minutes later, suited up, his shield in hand.

He threw me a salute which I returned.

My eyes drifted further down as he walked away, settling on his ass.

_I hate to see him go. But love watching him leave!_

I sighed as the door swung shut, sliding off of the counter, not bothering to do my shirt up as I poured myself a mug of coffee, walking back into the bedroom.

“Jarvis, can I have a sit-rep?” I asked, pulling my dog tags over my head, letting them fall in their usual place.

 _“The Team has taken the Quinjet to Texas, there has been an attack in Dalas and alien technology is believed to be involved,”_ He said as I pulled on underwear and a pair of black denim shorts, buttoning Steve’s shirt back up over a black lacy bra, tucking the shirt into my the top of my shorts.

I slid my feet into a pair of pumps as I ran a brush through my hair, cursing at the sight of the hickeys on my neck and shoulder.

I dabbed some concealer on the worst of them, before pulling my collar up and letting my hair hang over my shoulder.

On my way out of the apartment I grabbed the two files off of the table and headed straight up to the Common Room.

Where much to my surprise Thor was standing out the balcony, looking over at the city.

I tossed the files on the kitchen counter before stepping outside, shivering slightly as the cool air hit my legs.

I pressed the panel on the wall, watching the shimmer of blue light surround the balcony, the temperature rose and the blue light disappeared.

Thor looked around, giving me a small smile as I came to stand by his side, leaning my elbows on the wall, looking out at the morning commute.

“Hey Big Guy. I thought you’d be out there with them,” I said, looking up as he shook his head.

“I am not ready to return to battle,” He said gravely.

“I understand,” I said, nodding softly. “I was a mess after Jake died… For a long time I rarely left my apartment,” I said, looking out at the city. “You’re doing better than me, Buddy.” I nudged him lightly.

Thor managed the slightest of smiles.

“Loki did a lot of… unforgivable things, to the people in this tower, and the people of this world, but…” He trailed off, and I pretended not to notice him swipe the back of his hand across his face.

“He was still your brother,” I finished.

“He was,”

“Will you tell me about him?” I asked quietly. “I’d like to know,”

 “We grew up close, we played together, later we fought together. I knew, that we may fall in different battles, but… I lost him once, after I first came here, we fought, the Bifrost was destroyed and we thought him dead. When Heimdall saw Loki here, I had hope that he was trying to come home. But from the moment I saw him. I knew… I knew the Scepter had taken his mind.

“After our mother died, I knew although I could never trust _him_. I could trust his rage, his need for revenge. I never feared he would go so far as to lay down his life for me… For Jane. In our last day together, it was as if we were still young.

“That is the way he should be remembered, but his crimes will forever cast a shadow over the light inside of him,” Thor sniffed slightly, looking away.

My mind drifted to Erik, rambling like he was drunk all of the time, his name plastered across TV’s as he ran around Stonehenge naked.

I thought of Clint, the hollow look in his eyes, the way he flinched every time someone mentioned Loki or Coulson, how I’d go into the gym at five am to find Clint already there, having been there for several hours.

I thought of Tony, the way he’d panic at the mention of the battle, how he’d refuse to drive through a tunnel or how he’d go four days without sleep, because he was so scared that he’d have to relive it.

I thought of Coulson, who Loki stabbed, who died, and then went through Frigga knows what to come back to life, maybe all against his will, how it pulled him away from Clint and Natasha, his family.

I thought of the hundreds of innocent civilians who got caught in the crossfire, the people who never signed up for aliens and war, but suffered anyway.

Then I thought of Loki, who was thousands of years old, and did a lot of good for a lot of people. A man, a boy who wanted to be treated equal to his brother, who loved Thor and his mother, maybe even Lady Sif and The Warriors Three, and in the end, he died protecting Jane who he hardly knew, who meant nothing to him. He sacrificed his own life so that his brother and Jane might live.  
Maybe, if what Thor says is the truth, maybe he had just as much control over New York as Clint or Erik did. Maybe that wasn’t Loki, maybe he was just a puppet, and somebody else was pulling his strings.

Maybe we’ll never know…

“I believe that people shouldn’t be so quick to judge. We have no right to judge your people, your brother, when we know so little about you.

“And when you think about it, none of us would be here if it wasn’t for him. You’d have still been stuck in New Mexico, Steve would probably be working for S.H.I.E.L.D. full time, knowing him working constantly, and throwing himself into god knows what, Clint and Tasha…” I let out a deep breath. “Who knows where they’d be, where S.H.I.E.L.D. would send them. Bruce would still have shut himself away in Asia, leaving Betty alone.

“Everybody here has become such an important part of my life, and if the Battle had never happened, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be able to walk like I can now, I wouldn’t have Steve or Clint or Nat… I wouldn’t want to live my life without you guys. I don’t know what I’d do,” I lied. _I know exactly what I’d do, and then I wouldn’t have to live that life…_

“The universe finds a balance, for every good thing there is a bad, and for every bad a good.” I looked up to find Thor looking down on me with a soft smile and shining eyes.

He reached out, drawing me into his side, his arms wrapping around my shoulders as we looked out over the city.

.

We stood on the balcony in silence for nearly an hour before it started to rain and Thor headed towards the gym while I swiped my files off the kitchen counter before taking the stairs down to the top floor of Stark Industries.

I ignored the weird and surprised looks that got directed at my leg as I headed straight to Peppers office.

“Go straight in,” Her PA said with a friendly smile.

“Thanks,” I said, pushing the door open.

“Darcy,” Pepper rose from behind her desk, looking unsurprised at my presence.

“I’d like to accept the job,” I blurted out in way of greeting. Holding out the SI file.

“I’m happy to hear that,” Pepper smiled, taking the file and flicking through it. “Well… Everything seems to be in order. I will send this down to HR, and get everything you need bought to you as soon as I speak to Maria,” She said.

I smiled slightly.

“Thank you,” I said. “For giving me a chance,”

“You deserve it,” She said.

_Yeah… Maybe I do._

_._

The team arrived back, all of them in a pretty bad mood.

Apparently it was a waste of time, they’d be sent out for something that Level One Agents could’ve handled.

I watched Steve storm off the Quinjet and I gave him some space as Jarvis announced he was in the gym, so I decided to try my chances heading to Clint and Tasha’s apartment.

I knocked hesitantly on their door, hugging the S.H.I.E.L.D. file to my chest as Nat pulled open the door and sighed.

“Clint,” She called over her shoulder, giving me a sympathetic smile before stepping out of the apartment. “I’m going to the gym,” She said, walking past me towards the elevator, leaving the apartment door open.

I waited in the hallway until Clint stepped around the door and paused, his eyes flicked between my face and the folder in my hand, he sighed deeply before stepping out into the hallway.

“C’mon,” He said, stepping across the corridor, towards the door next to Nat’s ballet studio.

He pressed his thumb to the scanner and the door swung open.

I followed him inside and my eyes widened in surprise.

The room itself was the same as Natasha’s studio, except there were no mirrors in here.

One wall was painted black, the other vibrant purple.

There was a pile of gym mats stacked against the wall, almost up to the ceiling.

The room was littered with various pieces of apparatus, a tightrope was stretched across the room from one side to the other, a trapeze bar and two purple ribbons hung from the ceiling.

A freestanding Archery target stood against the far wall, several bows and Katana’s were mounted on the wall.

I knew everybody had a room like this.

Natasha’s was the studio, Steve had an art studio, my old apartment was being converted into two separate rooms for Jane and Thor, there was a room next to Steve’s studio for me, that still stood empty.

I followed him across the room and we sat against the window.

“You know why we have these rooms?” He asked. I shrugged slightly. “This job that we do… It can really screw up a person. We all need a space that reminds us of who we were before the job,”

“Didn’t the… the KGB train Natasha to dance, so that she can kill?” I asked, he nodded.

“But for years she thought she was a ballerina. It brings her peace. Or as close to peace as Tasha can get,” He said, he hesitated before continuing. “I’m not going to try and talk you out of working for S.H.I.E.L.D., it would be hypocritical and counter-productive. But there’s gonna be a time, when you ask yourself ‘what the fuck you’re doing’... S.H.I.E.L.D. changes people, not always for the better and I want you to know that you’ve got me, Nat, Steve, Maria, we all get that,”

_So he wasn’t acting weird because he was annoyed at me… He was acting weird because he was worried._

I nodded in understanding, holding out the file to him.

“Maria said I could give this to you,” I said quietly, he nodded as he accepted the file. “I – er, thank you, Clint,”

He nodded, pulling himself to his feet, holding out a hand to help me up.

“C’mon, I wanna see Nat put Cap on his ass,” He said.

Clint dumped the file in their apartment before we walked down to the gym just in time to see Nat swing her legs around Steve’s neck, twisting him onto the floor, her hands poised to snap his neck.

“Strength doesn’t beat skill,” Tasha said, rolling off of Steve onto her feet.

Steve flipped himself up to his feet, I took a moment to study him.

The carefree smirk from his morning was gone. His shirt clung to him, his shoulders were stiff and tense lines ran across his forehead.

“Hey Soldier,” I called out. Steve looked up from where he was massaging his knuckles. The lines in his forehead faded slightly and he gave a slight smile. “C’mon, I’m pretty sure you owe me pancakes,” I said, holding out my hand towards him. He sighed.

“Yes Ma’am.” He swiped his shield off of the floor and took my hand, his grip slightly tighter than normal.

I tugged him out of the gym and towards the elevator.

“Darcy… you don’t have to – we can take the stairs,” He said, I shook my head.

“It’s fine,” I said, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach as the door closed.

Steve squeezed my hand, tracing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

The elevator ride was silent until the doors slid open.

“Wanna talk about it?” I asked as he pushed open the front door.

“Not really,” He said, stepping inside, dropping his shield against the dining room table.

The second I stepped into the apartment Steve’s lips met mine in a rough, hungry kiss, I reached up, wrapping my hands around his neck, kicking the door closed with my metal foot, only for my back to hit the wood seconds later.

_Fuck this is gonna be fun!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? Terrible?  
> So, I'm planning on making a couple of gifs relating to this chapter, so they should be up at some point today, so they'll go up on both my Tumblr and Pinterest.  
> Also, if you have any requests for the prompts and snippets series, you can send them to my tumblr or review on one of the two stories.  
> Lastly, I know I said that I was trying to wrap this story up soonish, that plans kinda gone straight out of the window. It's gonna be a little longer before I start the sequel ('s?), which means CA:TWS is going to be a while off :(  
> Anyway, let me know what you think, feedback is always very helpful.


	40. A Walk In The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re so hot!” She blurted out, her hands clapped over her face as she looked mortified. “Oh my God… I did not just tell Captain America’s girlfriend she looks hot; in front of both of them!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a pain in the ass to finish, so I went away re-watched Deadpool and then finished it, that's probably why the ending is a little bit more mature. No sex or anything, just Steve being a (not so) little shit.  
> Chapter Warnings: Guilt.

I rolled over, giving a satisfied groan as I blinked my eyes open.

Frowning slightly at the empty space next to me.

I reached for my glasses as I sat up, pulling the sheet over my chest.

“Steve?” I called out, looking towards the door that stood ajar.

“Hold on!” He called, there was a slight clatter of what sounded like pans. “I’m in the kitchen,”

I frowned in confusion, sliding out of bed, wincing slightly at the cramped muscles _– Urgh, I wanna lay in the bath –_ I grabbed the blue silk robe from my dressing table stool, sliding it onto my shoulders, tying the belt around my waist.

I stepped out into the main room, smiling softly as I stepped towards the kitchen.

Steve was standing in front of the stove, wearing nothing but a pair of dark blue sweatpants, flipping a pancake in a pan.

I took a moment to let my eyes drift over him, he was definitely more relaxed than he was yesterday, the tense line in his shoulders had gone and… I shook my head slightly as my eyes seemed fixed on the way his abs flexed every time he moved.

I snapped a quick picture – for scientific purposes of course – before walking over to the breakfast bar, pulling myself up on the stool.

He shot me a smile before focussing back on what he was doing.

After a minute he turned around, sliding a plate of chocolate chip pancakes onto the bar in front of me.

“Good morning,” I said, looking up at him with a smile.

“Good morning,” He murmured, leaning down, pressing his lips softly against mine. “I thought Pancakes before anything else today. Then maybe we can get out of the tower for a bit,” He suggested.

I smiled softly.

“Sounds good. But I wanna bath first,” I said. Scrunching my noise at how sticky I felt.

Steve nodded, sliding onto the stool next to me.

We ate breakfast at our own pace, and I cleared everything up while Steve disappeared to start the bath.

_One person cooks, the other cleans. It’s one of the few rules we have._

I walked back through our bedroom, into the bathroom. Our bath was almost like a small swimming pool.

I dropped my robe, climbing in after Steve, settling against his chest.

Neither of us were in any particular hurry for anything, so we just spent time relaxing in the hot water, talking about random little things.

We got out as the water started to chill and I wrapped a towel around me, walking into the closet.

“Are we taking the bike?” I called out.

“Yeah,” Steve replied, his voice muffled slightly by the walls.

I grabbed a pair of black jeans and my leather jacket.

It was Steve’s rule.

_If you’re on the bike, at least wear jeans and a leather jacket. Just in case._

_._

The ride to Central Park was pretty quick. Steve parked at the side of the road, activating the bikes security system as I laced my fingers with his, walking towards the Park.

We ambled through the park, talking about everything and nothing.

Despite it being November, it wasn’t as cold as usual, so the play area was pretty full as we walked past, small children screaming as they played, not a care in the world.

I winced as a little boy pushed a little girl to the floor, just a couple of feet in front of us.

The girls face screwed up as she screamed. The boy looked down at her with a satisfied smile.

I glanced around, expecting the children’s parents to rush forward, but none of them moved, a couple of them even rolled their eyes.

Steve let go of my hand, crouching down next to the girl, I knelt down next to him.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked softly, reaching out to wipe her tears away.

She sniffled and nodded.

“He only does it because he liked me.” My jaw clenched as she recited the familiar words. The words that every little girl gets told when a boy picks on her.

Steve glanced up at the boy who was standing a few feet away, still within hearing range, pretending to be watching the game of soccer nearby.

“Boys don’t hurt girls that they like,” He said, I nodded slightly in agreement.

“But that’s what mommy says,” She protested.

“Mommys aren’t always right,” I said matter of factly.

“Says who?” She asked, with wide eyes as if I’d just told her I was an alien.

“Says Captain America,” I stage whispered, nodding to Steve.

The girls eyes widened even more and even the boys head jerked in our direction.

“Your-” Steve nodded, pressing his finger to his lips and winked.

The little girls face lit up, all previous signs of distress gone.

“What’s your name sweetheart?” I asked.

_Weren’t her parent’s worried about her talking to strangers?_

“Sabrine,” She said.

“I’m Darcy, this is Steve,” I told her.

“I know.” She said. “You’re very pretty. My babysitter liked your dress at New Year,” She said.

“Thank you. I like your hair,” I said, brushing back her dark bouncy curls. “Where are your parents?” I asked.

“At work. My babysitter is over there with my brother,” She pointed to a frustrated looking Indian girl, trying, and failing, to hush a screaming toddler.

She looked up, as if she felt someone was watching her, her eyes widening as she realised that Sabrine was talking to strangers.

She grabbed her bag and practically ran over to us, the toddler still screaming on her hip.

“Sabrine, what have I said about talking to strangers?!” She exclaimed, crouching down in front of her, the little boy still wailing.

“It’s okay, Riya. It’s Captain America!” Sabrine exclaimed.

The girl, Riya, looked down at Sabrine with a doubtful look.

“It is!” The younger girl insisted, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Riya looked up at us, the angry look slid off of her face as her eyes settled on Steve for a moment before drifting to me.

“You’re – and you’re – _he bhagavaan!” Oh my God!_ She breathed. I recognised the language as Hindi, but had no idea what she said. I watched as she stared at me with wide eyes. “You’re so hot!” She blurted out, her hands clapped over her face as she looked mortified. “Oh my God… I did not just tell Captain America’s girlfriend she looks hot; in front of both of them!” She groaned, breaking off her rambling.

Steve chuckled, squeezing my hand slightly as heat flooded to my face.

“It’s okay. It’s true,” Steve said, making my blush darken.

“Thank you,” I said, looking up with a slight smile.

We took pictures with them both and Riya complimented me on my dress from New Year saying the she wanted to design dresses like that after she went to college, at some point the screaming toddler gave up wailing and fell asleep on the teenagers shoulder. The four of us spoke for a while longer before going our separate ways.

Hand in hand we walked down to Bethesda Fountain.

“I think Nat and I are being sent on a Mission tomorrow, I’m gonna miss your first day at S.H.I.E.L.D.” He said regretfully, I shrugged slightly.

“It’s okay. Clint’s gonna be there. He won’t abandon me completely,” I assured him. “He said that I just needed to do a physical, medical and get all my credentials,”

“Maria’s supposed to be there,” Steve said. “She’ll keep Clint in check,”

I snorted.

“Damn straight she will. Clint’s terrified of her,” I said.

“Sensible man,”

“Have you decided what’s going on at S.H.I.E.L.D. yet?” I asked carefully, making Steve sigh.

“Since Loki, nothing on that scale has happened again, there hasn’t really been a need for The Avengers, but they can’t get rid of us, because something _will_ happen again.” He gave an aggravated sigh.

“What?” I prompted gently.

“I feel like S.H.I.E.L.D. is hiding something… I know they hide stuff, they’re an intelligence agency, it’s what they do. But this… I feel like it’s something bigger, something that matters, something that’s…” He trailed off, waving his free hand slightly desperately.

“That’s what?”

“…Wrong,” He said. “Tony and Bruce see it too, but Clint and Nat won’t look into it, they can’t, and I understand that. S.H.I.E.L.D. saved their lives, S.H.I.E.L.D. became their lives when they went straight. If they found out S.H.I.E.L.D. is hiding something…”

“It’d ruin the both of them. Natasha especially,” I said. Guilt swirled in the pit of my stomach as my mind drifted to what S.H.I.E.L.D. was hiding.

When they found out, and they _would_ find out, it would crush all of them, Clint and Nat especially. Even Tony had an unusual attachment to Coulson.

I pulled my hand out of Steve’s grip, wrapping my arms around myself.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Doll?” He asked, snaking an arm around my shoulder, pulling me to lean against his chest.

I shook my head slightly.

“Nothing,” I sighed, letting my forehead rest against his chest for a moment.

I took a deep breath, pushing as much of the guilt as I could to the side. Coulson still cared about the team, he wasn’t staying hidden because he wanted to. He’d tell them, hopefully soon, and hopefully the team would understand when he did, taking another deep breath I laced fingers back through Steve’s.

Ignoring his concerned look.

“It’s fine. Just… Needed a moment,” I said.

He looked thoroughly unconvinced but gave me the benefit of the doubt as we continued walking.

“When do you start Stark Industries?” He asked.

“Two days. Pepper’s going to take me around Stark Industries. Show me all the PR department, because I need to allocate people to basically sort SI’s press out so that I can focus mainly the Avengers. She’s putting Doctor on all my ID’s and stuff though… It’s weird,” I explained.

“Why is it weird? You have a PhD,” He pointed out.

“I know, but nobody ever calls me Doctor, _not even_ Jarvis!” I stressed, Steve looked down at me in confusion.

“Do you want Jarvis to call you Doctor?” He asked, making me shudder.

“Urgh, no. It’s weird,” I repeated.

“After tomorrow he could always call you Agent Lewis,” He said, coming to a stop, slowly stepping in front of me so I had to tilt my head right back to look at him. “Hmm, Agent Lewis,” He hummed. “I like it,” He pressed a soft, yet hungry kiss to my lips that made my stomach flip. “It’s very… official,” He said, his voice low and thick with lust.

My eyes widened and I pushed him back slightly.

“I’m gonna be your handler,” I realised, ignoring Steve’s look of surprise.

“Yes…” He said slowly, unsure on where this was going.

“Does this mean I outrank you? It does, doesn’t it?!” I exclaimed, bubbling with excitement.

“I guess so…”

“I outrank Captain America! I get to give Captain America orders!” I said. _Why was that so exciting?!_

“C’mon Doll, we both know you prefer taking the orders than giving them.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively with a downright dirt smirk, before leaning forwards to nip my bottom lip between his teeth in a way that made my mind drift back to last night.

I whined slightly as I tried not to think about the way that he leant over me, the way I whimpered as he called me his goo- 

I shook my head slightly, looking up at his shit eating grin and sighed.

_Okay, so he was totally right. On the job it'd be professional and serious. Off the job... Well, that's a whole other story!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> हे भगवान! - Pronounced: he bhagavaan! - Oh my God! - Hindi. I wrote it as 'he bhagavaan!' because that's how it's pronounced and not many people would have been able to read it otherwise.  
> So yeah, I can't imagine Steve not being a creative, kinky little shit. There's not going to be any actual smut in this story, so if reading smut isn't your thing, that's okay. Writing it isn't my thing!  
> But yeah, there will be mentions/references to slightly d/s sex, nothing graphic or majorly disturbing, but yeah, I just can't see Steve being all Vanilla, or is that just me?  
> Lemme know what you think and don't forget to check out my Pinterest etc and send me prompts for the one-shots to my Tumblr!


	41. Agent Lewis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wars may be fought with weapons but are won or lost by men”  
> – Gen. G. S. Patton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's... Not Monday. Sorry for the slight delay on this chapter, yesterday was crazy and I didn't have access to WiFi on my laptop.  
> Before I actually start this chapter I wanna take a minute, if any of you reading this are in Orlando, my thoughts are with everyone there. What happened was horrific and I'm so angry and upset I can't even put it into words.  
> I don't understand how people in America value guns more than peoples lives, it's disgusting.  
> Okay... That's not what anyone is here for.  
> Chapter Warnings: Fury's a dick, Ableism.

_“Agent Barton is requesting entrance,”_ Jarvis announced.

My eyes widened in alarm, as I tossed my half eaten toast back on the plate.

“I’m not ready!” I exclaimed, diving off of the breakfast  bar, back into the bedroom, leaving Steve to open the door.

Grabbing my dog tags and blazer, yanking them both on as I stumbled into my boots.

Pulling my hair out of my jacket, I double checked my reflection.

“Lewis, get your ass out here. It’s S.H.I.E.L.D. not the President!” Clint called out from somewhere, probably the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes, muttering about impatient snipers I walked back into the kitchen where Clint was sitting at the breakfast bar and Steve was leaning against one of the kitchen counters.

“You need a gym bag,” Clint said, giving me the once over. “Fury apparently wants to see you train,” He added with a slight grimace.

“The Director of one of the world’s biggest Intelligence Agencies wants to watch a newbie train?” I asked sceptically, then scoffed in realisation. “He wants to make sure the amputee is capable of doing her job… Fine,” I sighed, spinning on my heel back into the bedroom.

I dug through my drawer of gym clothes, grabbing simple pair of black shorts, a black mesh tank top and a criss-cross black sports bra.

I shoved it all in a small black gym bag, doing it up as I walked back into the kitchen, tossing it on the breakfast bar with a slight thud.

Clint gave me a sympathetic smile which I shrugged at, spinning back around fir the coffee pot, only for Steve to press a to-go mug of steaming coffee into my hands.

“God, I love you!” I sighed, reaching up to peck him on the cheek.

“Weapons check?” Clint said.

“Just my knife and tazer,” I said.

“Darcy, you’re in New York, where tazers are illegal, you can’t walk into a Federal Building with one. Hand it over,” He said sounding exasperated, holding out his hand expectantly. I looked up at Steve desperately, he gave a slight helpless shrug.

I groaned, digging my tazer out of my jacket pocket, slamming it into his open palm with a scowl.

“This on the other hand…” He slid a small black Stark Industries case towards me. I scrunched up my face in confusion as he pressed his thumb to the lock, flicking the lid open to reveal a sleek black Glock 42, with two magazines. “This is legal,” He said. “Not that there is _any_ logic to that,”

“You bought me a gun?” I asked in surprise, staring at him with wide eyes.

“I bought you a backup, you’ll get a service weapon later.” He slid a black paper bag towards me. “They’re from Tasha,” He said.

I leant over to look in the bag, smirking at the black thigh holster, aswell as one for the small of my back.

“Tasha huh?” I held up the thigh holster, noting the purple detailing.

Clint shrugged slightly.

I slid the belt around my hips, securing the holster at the small of my back.

I checked the gun over before locking in a magazine, sliding the spare into the holster.

_6 Bullets, not bad._

I took a second to inspect the weapon closely. It was small, easy to conceal and obviously brand new, it fit in my hand perfectly. I brushed my thumb over the barrel before slotting into the holster, fixing my jacket in place.

“Thank you,” I said, reaching forward to hug the archer tightly.

“No problem, Kiddo,” He said, hugging me back.

We looked up as the front door swung open and Natasha let herself in.

“How’d you get in here?” I asked. “Tony said nobody could get through those locks, not even you,”

“Well, he was wrong.” She smirked with a slight shrug.

“It’s obscene what you do to security systems,” I said with a slight shudder.

“Why are you two still here?” She asked, looking between Clint and me. “You were supposed to leave twenty minutes before us and we should have left five minutes ago,” She said, looking pointedly at Clint.

“There’s coffee,” He said as if it were obvious, helping himself to a refill.

Nat rolled her eyes, plucking the jug out of his hands.

“Aw, coffee!” He whined, with a pout.

“It’s Darcy’s first day. She _is not_ going to be late,” She stressed. Clint sighed, pulling himself off of the stool.

“C’mon then, Cookie,” He said. “You’re going to kick a junior agent’s ass and show S.H.I.E.L.D. what you can do,” He said.

“Good luck…” Steve said, tugging me closer. “Not that you’re going to need it,” He added, pressing his lips against mine.

“I love you,” I murmured against his mouth.

“I love you too,” He replied.

“Urgh, c’mon!” Clint groaned, tugging on my sleeve like a small child.

“Alright, alright!” I laughed, grabbing my gym bag, letting him drag me towards the door.

“Darcy,” Tasha called out, making me pause, looking back at her. “Не позволяйте ему добраться до вас, Малыш,” She said softly. _Don’t’ let him get to you, Kid._ I nodded, not quite understanding what she meant.

“Благодаря,” I replied. _Thanks._

_How bad could Fury be?_

_._

Clint drove us to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building and I bounced my knee nervously.

“Hey.” He caught my hand before I could tug on my hair. “You’re gonna be great. Be respectful but don’t take any shit,” He advised. I smiled slightly as he squeezed my hand reassuringly. “Ready?”

“Nope,” I said, shaking my head adamantly. Clint waited for a minute.

“Ready now?”

_Take no shit but in a respectful way… Don’t let him get to me…_

“Aw what the hell,” I said. “Let’s do this,”

Clint grinned, letting go of my hand as we slid out of the car.

He led me up the stair well and into the lobby towards the security desk.

The guy slid the pad towards Clint who pressed his thumb against the screen, as the guard held up a retinal scan.

 _“Welcome Agent Barton,”_ The AI said.

“She doesn’t have her creds yet,” Maria said, walking towards us in ‘Agent Hill’ mode, a file in hand.

“Yes ma’am.” The guard nodded, as Maria pinned a readily written badge onto my blazer.

“C’mon, Fury’s waiting,” She said, leading us to the elevator, which was thankfully empty. “Directors office. Straight up,”

 _“Confirmed,”_ The AI said, as the doors slid closed.

Without a word Clint clasped my hand, drawing my focus back into the present.

The elevator rose straight to the top floor and Clint let go of my hand the second the doors slid open and I followed him down the corridor.

Maria knocked on a door, not waiting for a reply before she pushed it open.

_Here goes nothing!_

_._

I stepped into the office, glancing around.

It was a large office, the outside walls were floor to ceiling windows.

There was a lot of Stark Industries tech, on the desk, the TV and the hologram table had all been in Tonys lab at some point.

Fury was stood behind his desk, a long black leather coat and surprise washed over me at the sight of a black eye patch.

 _Wow… Hypocritical much._ I thought.

“You’re late,” Fury said.

“Well, Stark wouldn’t let us fly over here, so we had to drive across Manhattan in rush hour. Traffics terrible,” Clint snarked making Fury scowl.

“Barton, enough with the snark. Show Miss Lewis to the gym. Her physical starts in five,” He said.

 _“Miss Lewis_ is stood right here,” I said, folding my arms across my chest tightly.

Fury looked up at me in surprise and I could have sworn I saw his lips twitch slightly.

“Well, Miss Lewis go with Agent Barton to the gym for your assessment. He’ll show you around,” Fury directed at me.

“Yes sir,” I nodded, turning expectantly to Clint who smirked, leading me out of the office.

We took the stairs down five floors to a large gym.

He pointed me in the direction of a locker room, where I changed into my gym clothes, shoving my bag in a spare locker, pulling my hair up into a high ponytail before walking back out into the gym, stopping in surprise at the sight of Fury arguing with both Clint and Maria.

A blonde woman was standing several feet behind the Director, who chose that moment to look up and notice me, she cleared her throat, nodding pointedly in my direction.

“Miss Lewis, this is Agent Bobbi Morse,” Fury introduced. I glanced between Agent Morse and Clint with an amused smile.

“Yes, she’s _that_ Bobbi Morse,” Clint said with a roll of his eyes. Agent Morse gave an awkward smile. “She’s also the Agent you _won’t_ be sparring,”

“Excuse me?” I asked in disbelief, looking between the four Agents with raised eyebrows.

“To pass your physical you have to spar with a senior field agent. Agents Hill and Barton are too close to you for it to be fair. I’m the only other candidate in the building,” Agent Morse explained.

_I swear Clint said I only had to kick a junior agent’s ass…_

“Bobbi is a field agent with over a decade of experience. As great as her training is going, up until a year and a half ago Darcy could hardly walk!” Clint exclaimed.

“Nobody expects Miss Lewis to be better than Agent Morse –” _Wow, slightly offencive, but true!_ “we merely want to see how well she keeps up,” Fury said.

“But –”

“I’ll do it,” I said, cutting Clint off, getting several surprised looks in return.

Clint sighed, holding his hands up in defeat.

“Just don’t forget to tell Steve and Nat that I tried,” He said, stepping back in line with Maria and Fury.

“The match stop when one of you taps out,” Maria said. Agent Morse kicked off her boots and socks. “Take your positions,” I stepped up onto the mat, Agent Morse stepping opposite me.

“I’m Bobbi, by the way,” She said, stepping into position.

“Darcy,” I replied, copying her movement.

“Begin,” ~~Maria~~ Agent Hill instructed.

Bobbi swung round first, I ducked easily.

We exchanged half-hearted blows ducking and dodging easily as Bobbi went easy on me.

Fury cleared his throat pointedly and I swung my metal foot around into her ribs making her stumble back slightly.

She recovered easily, looking down at me with a slight smirk.

Taking the hind Bobbi stopped pulling punches, coming at me faster than before.

Her fighting style was somewhere between Clint and Natasha’s.

She twisted and flipped like Natasha but had more upper body strength that she used to throw herself forward like Clint did.

I don’t know how long we sparred, I nearly got the drop on her twice, but it was clear I couldn’t win. So I kept up with her for as long as I could before her elbow slammed into the side of my neck, knocking me to the floor.

Before I could pull myself up Bobbi was on top of me, my hands pinned either side of my head, her knees were pressed into my thighs, pinning me to the mat.

I struggled against her grip for a minute before sighing, dropping back against the mat, admitting defeat as I banged my hand on the mat.

Bobbi let go of me instantly, rolling back onto her feet, holding a hand out to pull me up.

“You’re pretty good for a year’s training,” She said making me smile slightly.

I turned back to the other three Agents.

Clint grinned brightly winking towards me.

Maria stood at Parade Rest, a simple, impressed smirk on her lips.

Fury’s arms were still crossed tightly across his chest.

He stared at me, his eyes drifting down to my leg before looking back up to my face.

“Not bad.” He nodded. “Agent Morse?”

“She’s good. Amazing given that she’s only trained for a year. She’s quick, keeps up easily. With more training she could be one of the best,” Bobbi said.

Heat rose to my cheeks and I ducked my head at the unexpected praise.

“I agree,” Fury said, making my head shoot up in surprise.

“Thanks sir,” I said with a slight smile.

.

Next we went through various other drills in the gym, then the range, where I was given various weapons and targets where I got near perfect scores.

I changed back out of my gym clothes and I went through medical and a psych eval.

The Doctors all hesitated over my leg but after reviewing the footage of my match with Bobbi they signed it off.

Clint stuck with me the whole day, showing me from one place to the other.

It was nearing four o’clock when we took the stairs back up to Fury’s office where Bobbi and Maria were waiting inside.

I held my file out to Fury who took it without a word, flicking through it, silently checking each signature on each form, nodding approvingly.

He grabbed a pen, signing something before tossing both the pen and the file back on the desk.

“Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Lewis,” Fury said, holding out a black leather wallet.

I hesitated slightly before taking the wallet, flipping it open to reveal a shiny silver badge on one side, and an empty space for an ID card on the other.

I glanced up at the others and couldn’t stop myself from grinning.

“Thank you, Director,” I breathed.

He slid a black case across the desk towards me, flipping it open to reveal a sleek black Heckler & Koch P30 with two 15 round magazines.

“Your service weapon,” He said. “No doubt you have a backup weapon on you. But this is your side arm while on duty,”

“Yes sir,” I nodded, picking up the semi-automatic pistol, and after checking it over I loaded it, sliding it in the hip holster Clint tossed me, securing it on my belt.

“Go with Barton down to HR, they’ll give you your credentials and uniform,” He instructed.

“Yes sir,” I nodded again, sliding the spare magazine into my holster.

Noting our dismissal Clint and I headed out of the room, both Bobbi and Maria offering their congratulations as we passed them.

“So… Agent Lewis,” Clint said with a smirk, as I stared down at my badge. “It’s not gonna disappear,” He said, nudging me slightly.

“I know – I just can’t –” I broke off, not knowing what to say. _I can’t believe I can be a part of something like this!_

“I get it,” He said simply as we walked down the stairs.

“So, you and Bobbi, huh?” I asked with a smirk, looking up from my badge. “Nat told me all about your marriage,”

Clint groaned slightly.

“Whatever she said she lied,” He said. “It was only a year. It ended mutually, she’s good people,”

“Nat said that too,” I assured him with a smile.

Clint smiled slightly, leading me through another maze of corridors and through a glass door with _Human Recourses_ printed in black letters.

I had my picture taken, an ID card printed and slid into the wallet next to my badge.

They scanned my fingers and iris’, setting up my file and giving me a page of access codes and my locker details on floor 12.

“That’s it Agent Lewis, you’re all done,” The HR Agent said with a friendly smile.

“Not quite,” Clint said. “We have one more stop, then we can get outta here,”

He lead me back to the elevator that we took down to the lobby.

“Where are we going?” I asked curiously as we walked across the lobby.

“Here,” He said, stopping me in front of a silver plaque filled wall.

_THE WALL OF VALOR_

_In honor of the members of S.H.I.E.L.D. who gave up their lives in the service of humanity._

_“Wars may be fought with weapons but are won or lost by men”  
– Gen. G. S. Patton_

“Every S.H.I.E.L.D. facility has a memorial for the Agents who sacrificed their lives in the line of duty,” He explained softly, carefully prying my bag out of my hand as I stepped forward.

My eyes were drawn to the first row in the 1941 – 1965 section.

Set in a silver SSR logo was his name.

_James “Bucky” Barnes  
1917-1945_

I brushed my finger over the plaque giving a slight smile.

“Steve’s name was taken down when they pulled him outta the ice,” Clint said.

I drifted along the memorial, stopping as the years got more recent.

_Phillip. J. Coulson  
1964-2012_

All those times that Phil and the rest of the team had talked about sacrifice, about how sometimes the job was more important than their personal lives. I always imagined that knowing that made it easier to lie to everyone, that it made the guilt easier to bare.

But it didn’t… Even with my badge in my pocket, even though I’d signed all of the legal documents so I _had_ to keep those secrets.

Still the thought of lying about Coulson made me feel sick. It didn’t make it easier.

Taking a deep breath I pushed the guilt away as I stepped back next to Clint.

_At the end of the day we’re all just names on a wall..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda really liked this chapter, idk why.  
> I'M ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM FINISHING THIS STORY!! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.  
> So, this is going to end at 45 Chapters, I was going to go to 50 but just couldn't. So 4 more chapters and then a new (shorter) story for CATWS, because that's going to be epic and then the (supposedly) final story.  
> Wow... Okay, lemme know what you think. Gifs have been made and will be on Tumblr. Go check it all out!  
> Quick Question: Who do you ship Pietro with??


	42. A Day Off... Or Not!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I wasn’t a badass before, I certainly was now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's... NOT MONDAY again! I thought because I posted last weeks chapter late I'd post this one early.  
> Also, I FINISHED WRITING THIS STORY AND HAVE STARTED THE SEQUEL!!!   
> The next 3 chapters are pretty short as I wrap it up.   
> But what I've written so far of the sequel is pretty crazy, so that will make up for it!  
> Chapter Warnings: None?

With my new job Nat and Clint increased my training, both inside and outside the gym.

I now had _legal_ access to S.H.I.E.L.D’s systems, which was weird and Clint found it very amusing.

Clint taught me to use a bow, and the pair were trying to teach me to throw knives, trying being the operative word, it wasn’t my strongest skill, but by the time New Year rolled around I could actually get the blades to hit the target every time without them bouncing back. It was a work in progress…

My hand to hand combat was definitely getting better the more and more muscle I built up. The fact that my metal leg could kick through a regular punch bag when I used my full strength wasn’t bad either.

I also got a S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform that I had to wear whenever I was on a S.H.I.E.L.D. base, thankfully it wasn’t a catsuit, because that might work for Natasha and Maria, I would not look good in that.   
So I got a couple of jackets, boots and pants, S.H.I.E.L.D. even gave out hoodies, which was… Pretty weird.

To summarise: If I wasn’t a badass before, I certainly was now!

.

_“Agent Lewis, Sir is requesting your presence in his lab,”_ Jarvis said.

“Jarvis, Tony does know my job doesn’t consist of sitting in the labs all day now, right?” I asked. Looking up from my tablet. _It’s been months, holidays have passed and everything, and yet he still requests my presence…_

_“It’s rather hard to tell,”_ Jarvis said making me laugh slightly, but I stood up none the less, tossing my tablet onto the couch next to me and heading towards the stairs.

I got to the lab and sure enough it was a disaster.

I scrunched up my nose in disgust as I cleared the fungi growing mugs and plates of half eaten food into the sink.

“Lewis! I need your help!” Tony called, making me roll your eyes.

“Hold up. I need coffee first!” I yelled back, focusing on pouring myself a mug of coffee around the dirty counter.

_I need to find them a new assistant!_

Flicking a Doritos wrapper into the bin I turned back to Tony.

“If you need coffee or your data organised then that’s no longer my job,” I said, moving to lean against his desk.

“I have something for you,” He said, and I sighed, biting my lip before I could decline whatever extravagant gift he was about to give to me. “Well, it’s not just for you,” He added. “Come with me a minute,”

I followed him out of the lab and he came to a stop outside the elevator, where the doors slid open.

“Trust me?” He requested, stepping inside. “We won’t go anywhere, just come inside and let the doors closed. If you need to, Jarvis will open them straight away,”

I hesitated before stepping up next to him, spinning round as the doors slid closed.

“Activate,” Tony said.

Before I could question what he was talking about and before the claustrophobic feeling set in the elevator walls faded, no longer did they look like hard walls or windows, a picture spread across the three walls, the window and the ceiling.

The picture was of a large open, snowy meadow, the trees swayed in the breeze, as snowflakes twisted and danced, it was open and looked so real.

I reached out, gasping in surprise as my fingertips pressed against the cold metal wall, reassuring me that I was still in the tower.

 “What – I don’t understand?” I breathed.

“You don’t like small spaces which is fine and all, but it means you don’t do elevators which again would be fine and all, except for the fact that you live on the 72nd floor of a skyscraper and I think even Steve would find that slightly exhausting,” He rambled. “So… There’s this.” He gestured to the pictures around me.

“It feels like I’m there. It doesn’t feel like a small space…” I said, turning in a small circle.

“That was the plan,” Tony said with a slight grin.

“I’ve not stood in an elevator this long since I was 12,” I confessed in amazement, Tony smiled slightly, and I surged forwards, wrapping my arms around him making him tense slightly. “Thank you,” I breathed. “You do too much,”

“No problem, Kiddo,” He said, relaxing in my embrace, patting my back slightly awkwardly.

The elevator doors slid open as we separated and the picture faded back into the standard elevator.

“There’s a button here.” Tony pointed to a single button, below the rest of the elevator controls. “It shows different pictures,” He said.

“I don’t know what to say… This is amazing!” I breathed.

_I didn’t have to take the stairs, every time I wanted to go somewhere. Even if it was just from the Common Room to our apartment. I could just get in the elevator…_

“Glad you like it,” Tony said before stepping out of the elevator and heading back to work as if nothing had happened.

“Common Room please, J,” I said, letting the elevator doors slide close and the picture reappeared.

As the elevator descended I flicked through the various images.

_Space, a forest, a beach, the ocean, Manhattan streets, central park…_

I didn’t get to the end of the cycle before the doors slid open and it once again faded.

I laughed slightly before stepping out, looking back with an amazed, a bright giddy grin as I practically bounced across the room.

_I just took an elevator ride without wanting to throw up!_

Walking over to the conversation pit I dropped down next to Steve who looked up at me in surprise.

“Hey,” I said, bouncing slightly on the couch cushions.

“Hey yourself,” He said, looking up from his sketch book to give me a gentle kiss. “What’s got you so happy?” He asked.

“I just rode in the elevator from the labs,” I declared proudly. “Tony made it so it didn’t feel so small, and I didn’t panic!”

“That’s amazing!” Steve grinned, making my stomach flutter at the praise as he pressed his lips to my forehead. “I’m so proud of you,” He murmured against my hair.

I ducked my head as heat flooded my face.

“C’mon, I need to introduce you to a new TV show,” I decided, reaching for the remote.

“What is it this time?” Steve queried, tossing his tablet to the side.

“It’s called Gilmore Girls. It’s about a mother and daughter in a crazy little town who live on coffee,” I explained, Steve laughed softly.

“Sounds like you and Jane, not the mother and daughter part, obviously,” He said, I smiled slightly at the comparison and hit play.

When Steve watched a TV show he never just sat in silence watching it, and his commentary was often better than the actual show itself.

“Emily’s a bitch,”

“Their relationship is awkwardly cute,”

“I kinda – what did you call it – ship it,”

“I definitely hate her, she’s so manipulative,”

“Did he just kiss her and she thanked him?”

“Is this where you get your coffee addiction?”

“I ship Luke and Lorelai too,”

“Rory is so awkward it’s cute,”

Steve and I spent most of the day curled up marathoning the show, various team members dropping by here and there, and of course the show then led to a long debate when we called it a night.

“How do you not ship them? They’re adorable!” Steve exclaimed, gesturing wildly to the freezed faces of Rory and Dean.

“I did at first when I watched it, but wait til season 2, it’s not so great then,” I said without giving anything away.

“What about Luke and Lorelai? When do they actually get together?” He asked.

“Aw, Stevie, you know I wouldn’t spoil these things for you,” I said, it was a strong rule I had. “I never spoil a good show, movie or book. There is a special kind of hell for child molesters, people who talk during the theatre and people who give out spoilers,” I recited.

“Your Firefly is showing, Cookie,” Clint commented as he wandered from the kitchen to the elevator.

“Well it’s true!” I defended. “Nothing is worse than having some idiot spoil an awesome show slash movie slash book,”

I sighed slightly.

Before I could say anything else the elevator flashed brightly through the room.

“What did you forget now Barton?” I asked, leaning back in an awkward position to look towards the elevator.

My eyes widened in shock as it wasn’t Clint who walked into the room, but Fury and Maria.

I rolled up to my feet instantly, trying to look a little more professional.

“Darcy, wha –?” Steve looked over his shoulder, his eyes widening as he shot to his feet next to me. “Director?” He questioned. “Um… We weren’t expecting you,”

“Where’s Romanoff?” He asked in way of greeting as Steve and I walked up the steps to their level, Maria handing me the file she hand in hand, that I flicked open, my eyes widening as I read the first page.

“Erm, she’s on her floor. Jarvis, can you ask her to come up please?” I asked distractedly. “And let Tony know Fury’s here, I don’t want to deal with his whining later. In fact let the whole team know,” I sighed.

_“The team, Ms Potts and Doctor Foster are all on their way,”_ Jarvis replied after a minute.

I scanned through the file while I waited, my heart sinking as I read it.

“Washington?” I asked, looking up at Maria, clenching my hand into a fist to keep my voice steady.

“DC,” She confirmed with an apologetic nod.

“What’s so urgent? I just left. Jarvis said – Director?!” Clint exclaimed in surprise, coming to a stop several feet outside the elevator, as he and Natasha slid smoothly into Parade Rest.

“Jarvis, why are their spies in my house? Well, more spies than usual?” Tony asked, flouncing out of the elevator, Pepper, Jane and Thor behind him.

_“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer Sir. Perhaps you question would be better directed at Agent Lewis,”_ Jarvis suggested.

I shifted slightly uncomfortable as everyone turned to me.

“Darcy?” Pepper prompted.

“Steve, Natasha, you’ve been reassigned,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in to 2014, here comes CA:TWS!!   
> Lemme know what ya think!   
> Be sure to check out my Tumblr and Pinterest, and if you are following me on Tumblr come and talk to me!


	43. Sign It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Buchanan Barnes  
> A true hero who gave his life for his country.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's... Not Monday!  
> I thought now that I've finished this story (I still can't believe it), I'm 15 pages into the sequel and I've hardly stopped writing the last week, that I'd post chapters twice a week just for the end of this story.   
> Chapter Warnings: Doubt

Nat and Clint kept their expressions professionally blank, Steve tensed next to me, I watched as Jane’s head snapped towards me. Various expressions ran across Bruce, Thor, Pepper and Tony’s faces, finally settling on confusion.

“To DC?” Steve clarified, his voice tight.

“Yes,” I replied shortly.

“Just the two of them?” Tony asked.

“Yes,”

“When?” Clint queried.

“Plane leaves in 5 days,” I said.

“How long for?” Bruce asked.

“Status pending review at the end of six months,” I read aloud.

_He was going to be gone for Six months… I can’t move to DC and he’ll hardly have any time off and—_

I cut my train of thought off before I could work myself up into a panic.

“What about the team?” Steve asked, this time directed at Fury.

“Will regroup _if_ necessary,” The Director replied. The meaning was clear in his voice, if there isn’t a world ending disaster, there won’t be a team.

“Why?” Everyone’s head snapped up at Natasha’s hard voice. She never questioned orders, ever. Her expression was a cold mask still but while everyone was throwing question after question she’d slid closer to Clint, her shoulder pressed against his in silent comfort.

“Both yours and the Captains skillsets are required to run missions from the Triskelion. We don’t have any other Agents with your skillsets,” Fury said.

“With all due respect, Sir. Why not send me?” Clint asked. “Natasha and I have worked missions together since she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. Since then we’ve never worked separate teams,”

“I’m well aware. It seems to be time to switch things up a little,” Fury replied coldly. Clint’s eyes widened slightly in surprise at the cold answer and didn’t question it further.

“Is that all Sir? I believe Natasha and I have to pack,” Steve said, with a cold tone that made me shiver slightly.

“That’s all. Agent Lewis has all of the details you need. Trust the system,” Fury said, sweeping round back to the elevator. Maria hesitated slightly giving an apologetic look before following.

The second the elevator doors closed, Natasha and Clint stalked towards me.

“I hate that fucking phrase,” Tony declared. “What the hell is going on Kid?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged helplessly, handing the file to Natasha in case I missed anything. “There’s nothing in there about why, it’s just reassignment forms, and information on your new apartments,”

“She’s right,” Clint said, reading over Natasha shoulder. “It just says Fury requested the transfer, for six months maybe longer, there is no reason, and he’s the Director he doesn’t have to give us one,”

“You have to sign this,” Natasha said, handing me back the file. “It’s just over an hour chopper flight, 20 minutes in a Quinjet, if the Avengers are needed we can suit up with only a slight delay,” She said.

_A slight delay could cost people their lives._

I looked up at Steve, he stared at me for a minute and I knew he was running every possible variable, how this could go wrong, how this could be a good thing. Eventually he nodded.

“Orders are orders. Sign it,” He said.

My heart clenched slightly, dread pooling in my stomach as I bit my lip, nodding slightly.

“Okay,” I sighed, taking the pen Clint offered me, I leant against the piano as I signed on the dotted line, flipping the file closed, slamming the pen down with slightly more force than necessary. “There… You leave 0900 Monday,” I said.

I swiped the file off of the piano and headed straight to the elevator, I got to our apartment, tossing the file on Steve’s desk.

I stood there for a second, staring out of the window.

_Steve was leaving. Natasha was leaving._

_The team had just started to look more like a family than a team and then Fury’s pulling them, pulling us apart._

_Steve was still leaving._

I took a shaky breath, dragging myself away from the window and into our bedroom, I bypassed the bed and curled up on the soft couch by the window, wrapping my arms around my knees, hugging them tightly to my chest.

I stared out across the city, watching the sun sink lower through the sky. The door opened and I could tell by the footsteps it was Steve without even looking.

He silently sat next to me and without a word I turned, curling into his side, burying my face in his shoulder as I clung to him, breathing in his scent.

“Just ‘cause I’m gonna be in DC, that’s not gonna change us Darcy. I’ll come home when I get time off and you’re always welcome in DC. I was thinking… I was thinking you’d come with me at first, help me set up my apartment. You know I’m terrible at all that,” He said.

“I’d love too,” I breathed. “I don’t understand how you can draw amazing pieces of art but when it comes to home décor you have no idea,” I said with a slight laugh.

“That’s why I need you Doll,” He joked. “C’mon, I’ve been to DC once since I got… Defrosted, and I only went to see Peggy,” He said softly, his hand combing through my hair. “I need my girl to show me around,” He said and I snorted softly.

“I’ve not been to DC in a while… I know the tourist traps, but that’s about it,” I said, my eyes following a trail of red and blue lights speeding down in the city streets.

“It’s a date,” Steve said, pressing his lips to my hair.

.

Steve and Natasha’s final five days passed way too quickly for my liking.

S.H.I.E.L.D. was supplying him with a fully furnished apartment (that Tony was upgrading) so all he had to pack was most of his clothes, except for the few shirts that I refused to relinquish.

We came up with the decision that I was going to stay in DC for a week, and then whenever I got some time off (which wasn’t going to be very often) Clint’d fly us to the triskelion.

But given that I was the Avengers handler, Fury couldn’t argue with that. It was my job to handle _all_ of the Avengers, even the ones he reassigned.

I knew this was going to suck, it was going to be difficult and frustrating but… it wasn’t forever. There was no way it could be forever. 6 Months… Just six months…

The day before he left was amazing. It was Sunday so we had the entire day to ourselves, we did the whole cliché date day; again.

Steve woke me up at an ungodly hour of the morning, I just about managed to get some coffee and make myself look vaugley like a human being before we took the bike through the early morning traffic to a small, family run diner in Brooklyn.

“Steve, you’re back!” The elderly lady behind the counter exclaimed brightly.

“Yes ma’am. I said I would be. This is Darcy, my girlfriend. Darce, this is Evelyn, her parents owed this place when Buck and I were kids,” Steve said, leaning down to kiss Evelyn’s cheek.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you ma’am,” I said, holding out my hand, but she brushed it away, pulling me into a warm hug.

“None of that ma’am, it’s Evelyn or Eve,” She chastised in a way that reminded me of my nan. “I was just a little girl when those boys went to fight the fight. They were some thin’ alright,” She said, looking up at Steve with a lost smile.

“They certainly were,” I agreed.

“Now, you two go find a table, I’ll be over in a sec with some coffee,” She said, before bustling off behind the counter.

Steve and I took a table in the corner, Steve sitting against the wall so he could see down the street one way, the door and most of the Diner. I slid into the chair he pulled out for me, my eyes scanning down the side of the street before drifting over the kitchen door and counter. Between the two of us we could both keep note of who is where.

Evelyn, Eve, bought over two large coffee mugs, them to the brim.

“Thank you, Eve,” Steve said.

“Now, what can I get you kids?” She asked, pulling out a notepad. “The usual for you Steve?”

“Yes please, with extra bacon,” Steve requested. Eve nodded, scribbling it on the pad before looking to me,

“A stack of chocolate chip pancakes please,” I said.

“Coming right up.” Eve nodded again, before disappearing into the kitchen.

Breakfast was _amazing,_ the food was awesome and the company was even better. After we paid our bill, hand in hand Steve lead me through the old Brooklyn streets, pointing out different places.

“That was a gym… That was a bakers, you can see there where there was an old bread oven… I got beat up in that alley way… And that one…”

We drifted down Steve’s old road, the apartment that he lived in were gone, replaced sometime in the sixties with new apartment buildings that still stood there. Steve looked up at the tall building but said nothing as we carried on towards the church, stopping briefly at a florist.

We ended up in the cemetery, stood in front of what I called ‘the Barnes-Rogers plot’.

My eyes drifted over the headstones.

_George & Winnie Barnes  
Loving Mother, Father, Husband and Wife._

_James Buchanan Barnes  
A true hero who gave his life for his country._

_Sarah Rogers  
A Mother and A Wife._

Bucky’s grave was of course empty, Steve looked into it a few months ago when he worked up enough courage to come here.

Apparently Rebecca, Bucky’s sister, was still alive, and after he died, she had a grave put with their parents, so she could mourn properly.

There _was_ a fourth headstone, between Bucky’s and Sarah’s, but that space now stood empty, it was pulled up just weeks after Steve was dragged out of the ice.

I squeezed Steve’s hand in what I hoped was a comforting way, a small part of me wishing that Mom and Jake’s graves weren’t so far away.

But they were buried in the same plot, not far from Mom’s parents and Clara, back in Pennsylvania.

I couldn’t bring myself to sit through the several hours car journey except for four time a year: Mother’s Day, Jake’s birthday, the Day Jake died and Clara’s birthday.

Steve let go of my hand, laying flowers on the Barnes’ grave and his mother’s before kneeling in front of Bucky’s headstone, murmuring something too low for me to hear before setting the flowers against the marble. He sniffed slightly, wiping his face before standing back up.

I wrapped my arms around his middle, resting my head against his shoulder as he sighed deeply.

“It’s going to be okay,” I said softly, looking up at him, Steve looked down pressing his lips to my forehead.

“I love you,” He said, I smiled slightly, making note of how he changed the subject in the same way that I usually did.

“I love you too,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more chapters!!!   
> Thoughts? Opinions and theories?!


	44. We'd Be Okay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “‘Fine.’ I know, that’s what I tell you every time I feel shitty, and you always give me that look, the ‘lying to Captain America is bringing shame to your entire country’ look, or you do the puppy eyes, which is possibly worse, and then I end up spilling everything to you. But I can’t do that look, and I’m worried,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST PROPER CHAPTER!!   
> It's kinda short and kinda awkward, but that pretty much sums me up. So... Enjoy.

Steve moving was… Interesting?

We had to wake up at an ungodly hour of the morning to shift all of the tones of luggage into the Quinjet and Jane, Bruce, Tony and Betty all dragged themselves away from the science to say goodbye.

Clint had to go back twice, coming back with various weapons each time, before we finally left.

I lent against the windows as we took off, watching the country fly by, never once letting go of Steve’s hand.

It took just under half an hour before we landed at the Triskelion, and I forced myself to let go of Steve's hand the second the ramp dropped.

A group of S.H.I.E.L.D. lackeys were waiting to take the luggage, stepping onto the Quinjet with respectful nods as we walked into the hanger.

“Welcome to the Triskelion,” Clint said. “It’s like every other S.H.I.E.L.D. base, but bigger,”

We took the stairs up to the lobby… _Is it still called a lobby in a secret spy base?_ … We took the stairs up to the lobby, going through the usual S.H.I.E.L.D. security, accepting the badges, only for my phone to ping seconds later.

“Okay, you both have an apartment on base, but Steve you didn’t want to stay here, so you’ve got an apartment about two miles from here. Nat your apartment is 614 and you’re both being given two days to settle in before you’re supposed to report to Situation Room D at 0800 on Wednesday,” I said, scanning through the email. “Steve, your bike has been taken to the garage, and your luggage has been taken to your designated apartments,”

“I’m going to unpack,” Natasha declared, putting her hand forcefully on Clint’s shoulder. “We will see you… Wednesday… Maybe tomorrow?” She said, before spinning on her heel and heading towards the elevator.

I shook my head at their abruptness, before turning back to Steve.

“So, wanna go check out your apartment?” I asked, my eyes scanning the lobby.

“Yeah, do I have a locker here?” Steve asked, his eyes flicking from exit to exit out of habit.

“Yeah, erm, 41st floor north west corridor,” I said checking the email. “It shouldn’t be too hard to find,”

“I wanna dump my kit,” He said. “Then we can go… home,” He said the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

Steve didn’t want to be in DC. Steve hadn’t had anything permanent in his life for years for him, decades for us, since Pearl Harbour probably.

We managed to find the locker room easy enough, dumping his bag in the locker labelled: _Cpt S Rogers_ before heading out.

Finding Steve’s apartment was easy enough, it was only a couple of blocks away, and the streets were surprisingly empty.

“This isn’t bad,” Steve commented as I unlocked the security door.

“Even better because you don’t have to pay for it,” I said, leading the way up the stairs.

_He was right. This was pretty good._

“What floor?” He asked as we went past the first floor.

“Second floor, apartment four,” I said, nodding to the door at the end of the corridor just as next door, apartment three, opened revealing a blonde haired woman wearing pink scrubs.

“Oh hi!” She said brightly. “Are you moving in?” She asked.

“He is, I’m just visiting for a couple of days,” I said, pointing up at Steve.

“I’m Kate, I guess we’re gonna be neighbours,” She said, shaking Steve’s hand, then mine.

“I’m Steve, this is Darcy,” Steve said.

“I’m really sorry, but I’m gonna be late for my shift over at George Washington Hospital,” She said, gesturing to her pink scrubs. “I’ll see you later. Welcome to the building by the way!”

“Thanks,” Steve said. I laughed slightly as she practically ran down the stairs.

“She seems… Busy?” I commented as we stepped inside, looking around curiously.

It wasn’t as big as our apartment in the tower, I didn’t expect it to be, but it was a decent size, The kitchen and living room was separated by large floor to ceiling shelves, some had plates and glasses on, others had various books, I noted a couple on World War II history that weren't Steves.  _Fury has a sense of humour?_

I stepped through into the living room, noting the large open fire, there was a simple armchair and a matching couch, sideboard and coffee table.

There was a Stark Industries TV but other than that it looked pretty much like a show home, the books were placed in that weird way where the ones on the end were tilted to the side.

The most personal looking thing was a 90’s style vinyl player on top of the sideboard.

“Hey.” I took Steve’s hand, tugging him to sit on the surprisingly comfy couch. “What’s going on?” I asked. “You’ve hardly said ten words today.” I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand.

“It’s nothing, I’m –”

“‘Fine.’ I know, that’s what I tell you every time I feel shitty, and you always give me that look, the ‘lying to Captain America is bringing shame to your entire country’ look, or you do the puppy eyes, which is possibly worse, and then I end up spilling everything to you. But I can’t do that look, and I’m worried,” I said. Steve smiled slightly and looked down at me.

“’s nothin’ really,” He said, his Brooklyn accent slipping through strongly, making the lie more obvious. “’s just I was starting to think of the tower as home, as something permanent. I’ve not had permanent in… years,” He hesitated for a minute.

“Before Pearl Harbour, Bucky ‘nd I were – we had a small apartment, it wasn’t much but it was ours and it was home. After Pearl Harbour, he enlisted, he got his orders, ‘nd got shipped out. Then I joined, trained, got the serum, went on the USO tour, went to Europe, fought with the Commando’s, Peggy, then Bucky fell and the ice…” Steve sniffed slightly, rubbing at his face as he shivered, making me tighten my arms around his middle. “Nothing ever stuck, even when I woke up, I spent a month in a S.H.I.E.L.D. safe house, the Avengers happened and then… then things started to settle down. I thought living in the tower, fightin’ with the Avengers, you. I thought that was it, that it was permanent… But then Fury turned up and…”

“And turned your life upside down all over again,” I breathed, Steve gave half a shrug.

“I keep wonderin’, wondering why I do these missions with S.H.I.E.L.D, there’s always gonna be a fight, but I keep –” Steve shook his head rubbing his eyes slightly. “I’m just tired,” He said.

I gave him a sympathetic smile, resting my head against his shoulder, wishing there was something I could say or do that would make him feel better, but there wasn’t.

_We’d be okay. We always were._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo close!!   
> Lemme know what you think!   
> Epilogue will be posted on Thursday!!


	45. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Life is tough my darling, but so are you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I COULDN'T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW!  
> THIS IS IT PEOPLE!!  
> I'm a little annoyed it doesn't quite reach 100,000 words, but I couldn't drag it out any more, so here we are.  
> Sequel info below!

Working for both S.H.I.E.L.D. and Stark Industries was the most insane thing ever, and what was even more insane?

I was good at it.

Sitting in Ops, running coms while the team was out (both with Steve and Nat, but mostly without) it finally made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile.

There was only a _minor_ press storm when the public found out about my new job.

The rumours about me sleeping my way through the tower spread again. Although at least this time the majority of people actually supported me. (I got verified on Twitter and everything!) 

.

Life inside the tower was just as crazy as ever.

Tony finally finished Peppers suit.

 _Rescue_ flew around the outside of the tower, unlike the familiar hot rod red and gold we’d all gotten used to, Rescue was a soft pearl white with copper accents.

Between the new suit and her now fully controlled Extremis powers, Pepper was a new level of badass. If people weren’t afraid of her before, they certainly were now.

But since starting my new job, I got to spend more time with Pepper, she tied with Natasha for the title of ‘ _the_ most badass mentor ever’, I refused to choose between them. I got to see the softer side of her more, she was always there to talk or let me hide on the couch in the Penthouse whenever I need. She reminded me of my Mom, just better.

Tony... Tony had made himself two new suits and then stopped there (with the occasional upgrades of course). But at least now he was eating and sleeping on a somewhat regular schedule.

Thor was getting better too, time passed and although he still grieved for his brother and his mother, he could talk about them without as much pain in his eyes, the wounds were slowly healing with time.

Jane’s research was going better than ever, between the unlimited access to Thor’s knowledge (and Asgard), as well as the endless supply of money and resources that Tony supplied, she was finally able to start building an actual Rainbow Bridge machine, it was a few years off, but it was progress, there were even rumours flying round about chances of a Nobel Prize in Cosmology and Space. (I was officially the proudest ex-intern ever!)

With Bruce, we talked a lot more now, I slowly started to drag him out of his shell as he, Betty, Tony and I bonded over shitty fathers after a night of alcohol (Betty and I had alcohol) and a stressful day we talked until the early hours of the morning, one conversation turned into two, and then more and more, Clint occasionally dropping in with his own story.

But Bruce finally stopped looking to cure himself, maybe he wasn’t yet comfortable with his alter-ego, but he wasn’t trying to fix himself, so I counted that as a win.

Betty was working close with Tony on SI’s prosthetic project. They still hadn’t perfected it for long term use without a specialist’s consultancy (those specialists being Tony and Betty), so it wasn’t ready to be given to the public, but they were making progress, slowly.

When she wasn’t working on that, she and Bruce were out of the tower whenever they were free, constantly going on cute little dates, god knows where.

Natasha seemed more open than ever since she told me her story.

When she came back to the tower in her free time she took me down to her studio more and slowly I learnt to dance again.

I think it was good for both of us.

I got to lose myself in the music and Tasha got to see dance the way it was supposed to be seen again. She’d dance with me for hours, without the fear of a punishment or a mission.

Clint finally managed to teach me to throw knives properly, it wasn’t my strongest skill, but I wasn’t terrible.

In our time outside the gym we spent time constantly judging bad movies and playing pranks on various unsuspecting victims in the tower.

Chelsea was still living with Mike and apparently they were more than just friends, but there was no doubt it’d never be more than sex, Mike didn’t do romantic relationships and Chelsea was okay with that… for now at least.

Malia was growing so fast, now just over a year old, she was walking everywhere and even talking too. Her favourite word at the minute: “No.” She said no to everything: food, naptime, bedtime, certain toys and even certain people. Every time I saw her my heart ached a little more for my brother.

Speaking of Jake, I got a third tattoo, a butterfly on my right shoulder blade and the same night I finally summed up enough courage to take his dog tags off, keeping them safe in the top of my jewellery box.

Now I just stuck to my own set, which hung securely round my neck, never coming off.

And then there was Steve. Wow…

I love him.

He says he love me too and… and I think I actually believe him.

Everything about him was perfect.

I trusted him with everything, even the really shitty parts of my life at three am.

It was beyond weird that he was in DC, I’d gotten so used to him being a permanent part of my life that it was just wrong for him to not be here. Since he’d been gone sleep had not been easy to come by, I started to spend my nights in the gym or the Common Room again, it go so bad that after three weeks of hardly any sleep, Clint dragged me to DC for a week, that was how the months passed, three weeks in New York, a week in DC.

The three crappy weeks were worth the week with Steve.

The past two years had there shitty moments sure. But the good far outweighed the bad, and that made it worth it.

Didn’t it?

.

_Life is tough my darling, but so are you._

_._

_Fin._

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... Okay.  
> Note: Mike is Aromantic, remember that for later.  
> So, the first chapter of the (first) sequel will be posted on Monday and then once a week after that. Story 2 is going to be shorter, story 3 is going to be about this length, maybe longer, I'm not 100% sure yet, a story 4 isn't off the table yet, but no promises.  
> I can't thank you all enough for your support on this story, it's amazing and I can't quite believe it.  
> Let me know what you think one more time?

**Author's Note:**

> So, lemme know what you think?  
> Also, check out my:  
> Pinterest Board: https://www.pinterest.com/ToriTris/life-is-hard/  
> Tumblr: http://purplepingupenguins.tumblr.com/


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